Chapter 48: Nightmares and Fairy Tales
“Come on… Pleeeaase…”
“’Gonna come, that’s for sure…”
Heavy panting
“…but no.”
Hard thrust with the last word, feminine gasp in reply.
“Spike! Please!”
“’Thought I was pleasing you. Seems I gotta try better.”
Hands clutching at hips more forcefully. Relentless pounding. Then sharp intake of breath.
“Slayer… that’s cheating…”
Bodies rolling and reversing positions. Masculine gasp this time.
“Want me to stop the cheating?”
Eyelids fluttering at excruciating pleasure. Babbling.
“No, never, please, don’t stop luv please…”
Sudden roar, pale body arching up. Silent smile of feminine pride.
“So?”
Still joined bodies pressing against each other, hands caressing, softer than a butterfly wing. Panting slowly calming down.
“Anything you want, luv. Anything.”
*****
Riley woke with a start, and immediately the feelings of disgust and self-loathing reappeared. He had tried not to fall asleep, tried very hard, for he had known that once he drifted off the dreams would come back. But he had fallen asleep anyway. And the dreams had returned. Or rather, it had been a new one. Every night, it was a new one. Each more disturbing than the last. All different, except for the same two characters and the always identical ending. And even more disturbing was the fact that he was getting off on every single one of them. Hence the self-loathing. He tried to fight the thrall, to fight the vampire’s hold on his nights, but without any hint of success so far. Every time he dozed off, it started again, like the vampire had predicted. What scared him senseless was the other thing that the blonde had said. Months before the thrall would wear off. Or even years. But he wouldn’t last one month like this. Not last and retain his sanity.
Trying to erase the vision that lingered in his mind, he forced himself to get out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. Mindlessly, he washed off the physical evidence of the effects that damned dream had had on him, blinking wildly in the harsh light. His gaze was on the mirror, but he didn’t see the soldier on extended leave, with his deep set eyes, ashen skin and haunted expression. What he saw was a woman he had loved, nude, chained to a bed, red whip marks marring her otherwise perfect skin, crying out loud her pleasure as a man he hated more than ever pounded into her.
*****
Spike had hoped for some clouds to make his shopping errands easier, but no such luck, of course, and the sun was glaring over Sunnyhell. He couldn’t help worrying a little about Buffy. It probably was just as sunny in LA, and she was less used than him to going around under the scant protection of a blanket. At least, she had the cheerleader with her, so he trusted that, if nothing else, Cordelia could protect her from accidental sunburn.
His run from the car to the mall’s entrance didn’t go unnoticed, and some people looked at the smoldering blanket quizzically. But this was probably not the strangest thing most of them had ever seen, and soon no one was paying any attention to him any longer. Sometimes living on the Hellmouth had its perks.
First, he went in search of a jewelry store. It was kind of strange to actually wait on a salesperson instead of sticking his fist through the glass and taking whatever he fancied. Strange, and somewhat hilarious for the suspicious glances he attracted as he walked around the displays, hands thrust deep in his dusters pockets.
He had to visit four stores before he finally found something suitable. When he had asked Buffy to marry him, he had given her as an engagement ring what was usually the actual wedding ring. So for her wedding ring, he had just decided to get her what could have been an engagement one. He had no set idea about what he wanted for her, except that it had to be slaying-friendly. He didn’t want her to take it off every time they went on patrol because she was afraid to damage it. In the end, he settled on a design with three small diamonds and two emeralds alternated on a narrow band, encased in gold so that nothing protruded. The finely cut green stones reminded him of her eyes when they gleamed with happiness.
He paid cash for the ring, gave a few instructions, and went in search of the second thing with a resigned sigh. He had tried to charm his way out of the complete penguin look, but his Slayer had been inflexible, she wanted him in a tux and with every bloody thing that came with it. She was just a bossy little thing when she had her mind set on something. And, as ever, he was utterly whipped.
For Harris’ wedding, he had just done some window shopping, grabbing the first thing that had fell under his hand, and had been lucky that not only it had fit but also had looked good on him. But for his own wedding, he supposed it was better to play it safe and not rely on his luck too much. So he dutifully, but grudgingly, tried on a couple of bleeding costumes, and had an interesting time finding an excuse not to step in front of mirrors as the salesperson was suggesting. When he found something that suited him, he decided on buying over renting, just so he wouldn’t have to go through this hell again next time Buffy decided that he had to dress up – because he just had that dreadful feeling that there would be a next time.
The ring wasn’t ready yet, so he wandered through the mall, not really looking for anything, just trying to pass time. He had a few fifty dollars bills left, and after a while he decided that it would be a shame not to spend them.
One thing he had quickly learned about Buffy since living with her was that she loved to wear satin nightgowns about as much as he loved to take them off her. So it was for both of them that he bought a mid thigh, light blue one, as well as the translucent robe that went with it. The girl who rang his sale tried to flirt with him, asking coyly whether he needed someone to model for him, and he replied without thinking that his wife would do all the modeling he needed. The bint’s eyes shot to his left hand and the unadorned finger there, but she didn’t comment. He left the store amazed at how easily the word had rolled off his tongue, and how pleasantly nice it had felt. His wife.
As he was walking back toward the jewelry store, something else caught his eye in a window. The store was carrying various items, including a fairly good imitation of a suit of armor, several replicas of antique guns, a few Japanese-style swords, and a fair number of ornate knives. What he was interested in however was a long sword, a katana, remarkably unadorned amongst many flashy things. He went inside the store and asked to have a closer look at the weapon. Upon inspection, it felt remarkably comfortable in his hand, the hilt smooth and non slippery, the balance perfect, the edge razor sharp. Steven would just love it.
Now carrying too many awkward packages, the vampire went to get his lady’s ring. But after checking the engraving inside the band – You are my Soul – , as the clerk was putting the thing in a pretty box despite his assurance that it wasn’t necessary, he noticed the heavy man’s ring in a display. It looked oddly familiar, and it took him a few seconds to realize why. It had been a long time ago. Not exactly the same, but close enough. Silver, simple, with a round onyx stone. The other one had been a gift, which he had worn with pride for a few years, then as a cherished memento. It was now at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, where it had been resting for more than a century.
It was a bad idea, he was sure of it. He probably didn’t even have enough money left. Just a very bad, very stupid, and poncy idea. But after a few minutes of arguing with himself under the bemused gaze of the saleslady, he pulled out a few crumpled bills from his pockets, and was both annoyed and relieved to find that he did have enough, not only for the ring but also the engraving. Cursing himself, he bought it, gave his instructions, and settled down, fuming with himself, to wait for the bloody thing to be ready.
*****
Eyeing the clouds suspiciously – Willow had promised it wouldn’t rain, but it did look like it soon would – Buffy followed Cordelia, Anya, and Dawn into yet another bridal store. Finding Spike’s ring had been easy enough, because she knew exactly what she wanted: the same design as hers, three rings interlocked to form one. But finding the perfect dress was proving more challenging. In the last couple of days, they had done all of Sunnydale’s bridal shops without finding anything – granted, it was only four of them. They had finally decided to come and try their luck in LA. Buffy could hardly believe that the wedding would only be the next night, and that she still didn’t have a gown.
Of course, she had an excuse. It was hard to choose when she couldn’t even see herself in whatever she tried on – and it was really a pain to explain to the sales attendants of each store that she couldn’t look at herself in a mirror because it was against her religious beliefs. So she had to trust the way the gowns looked on the rack and whatever her two friends and sister were telling her. It might have helped if all three of them hadn’t had a very different idea of what the perfect wedding gown was. Once more, Anya and Cordy went for opposite styles, while Dawn escaped to look at the bridesmaid’s part of the store, even though she had already found her attire.
Sighing as she walked around aimlessly, Buffy wondered what Spike was doing. Only a few hours away from him and she missed him already. And it would get worse until she saw him again in the chapel. It had been her idea, but now she was the one regretting it. She had told him that spending a day apart would make it even more special when they were at last reunited for their wedding, and he had protested that they had been apart more than enough while he was kidnapped. She had insisted, and he could so rarely refuse her anything that he had agreed, albeit reluctantly. What had she been…
Unneeded breath caught in her throat. She had found it.
On the dress stand in front of her was the gown she had been looking for without knowing what she wanted until she saw it. Off white satin silk embroidered in gold across the breast and down the front, silk brocade on the sides tied together with thin laces in the front and the back, short off the shoulders sleeves, completed with transparent chiffon that flowed down to the hands, and a train made of the same ethereal chiffon, so thin it was barely there.
Buffy was startled when Dawn’s hand rested on her arm.
“That’s it?” her sister asked softly.
She only nodded. Before she could even say more, Cordelia, Anya and a salesperson were around her. Soon, she was trying on the gown, delighted to find that it fitted her very well. For once they were all agreeing with her choice, and she just knew Spike would love it too, if for no other reason that it left his marks, on each side of her throat, completely uncovered for everyone to see.
*****
“I’m bored!”
Lifting his gaze from the book he was trying to read, Angel rolled his eyes at his Childe’s renewed whining. He had been saying the same thing every few minutes ever since he had come back from his shopping trip, and Angel already regretted having offered the mansion as a prenuptial retreat. Certainly the blonde could have taken a room in a hotel and annoyed no one but his unfortunate neighbors.
“Come on, Peaches, let’s go patrol,” he tried to plead. “Innocents are in danger, it is our sacred…”
“Oh, do shut up!” the ex-vampire growled, disappointed by the effect of the sound coming from his human throat. “You are not patrolling and that’s the end of it. You’d find a way to get a black eye or something and Buffy would never let me hear the end of it.”
“You’re no fun.”
The blonde let himself fall into an armchair, pouting and his arms crossed.
“And you are nothing but a kid,” Angel retorted, his voice more annoyed than he actually felt.
He tried to return to his reading, but Spike’s tapping foot, just at the edge of his line of vision, was quite distracting. It wouldn’t be long now before the blonde complained again that he was bored. If it had been anyone else, he would have chalked up his edginess to getting cold feet. But, no, this was just a very regular and bored Spike. Some things just never changed.
There was something that might calm his overactive mood, but Angel wasn’t sure it was a good night for that. Could he allow himself to bring Spike’s thoughts to the past just a few hours before his wedding?
“What are you brooding about now?” came the obnoxious question.
“I am not brooding,” Angel replied automatically. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Nothing, reall…’
“Oh, come on, I’m bored, distract me.”
Well, since he was asking for it…
“Dru.”
Spike’s eyebrows shot to the ceiling, and his face suddenly lost all emotions.
“What about her?” he asked after a couple of seconds.
Too late now, Angel thought wryly, he might as well go on with it.
“I still have her ashes. I haven’t found the time to disperse them. Didn’t want to do it alone, either.”
For what seemed like an eternity, Spike remained immobile, his eyes still on Angel but clearly unfocused. When he finally moved and got to his feet, the brunette was sure that he was going to storm out, possibly to Willy’s, for a drink and a fight. That was how Spike used to work things out. But instead, he just stood there for a minute longer, before saying at last:
“Well, are we going or what? If we’re doing this we might as well get on the move before sunrise.”
*****
What a bloody stupid idea for a vampire to own a convertible… Of course, the poof wasn’t a vampire anymore, but still. He had had the thing when he was a vamp, and Spike had thought it was stupid then, and still thought so now. Especially when thinking about anything was better than reflecting on what they were doing.
They had gotten in the car as soon as Angel had retrieved the wooden box from his room, and been on the road for a few minutes already when the brunette had finally inquired about where they should go. Spike had suggested the ocean, without explaining why. He didn’t need to. He was sure Angel remembered how Drusilla used to love going on boats. The movement of the sea always made her dreamy and happy, always made her babble about rocking, and lullabies, and her mother.
He had been angry with Angel at first for even just saying her name while all Spike could think of was Buffy, but it was fitting, after all, to do this tonight. A final goodbye. Fitting, also, that the moon and stars were all bright and clear above the ocean. Fitting that neither of them said a word as these few ounces of ashes were taken away by the slow waves. Fitting that they shared a cigarette, still in silence, remembering old memories of a woman they had both loved, although in very different ways.
Spike was the first to break the quiet, asking to borrow Angel’s cell phone. The brunette went to the car to retrieve it and handed out the device without a word before going for a stroll down the beach, leaving Spike alone.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?”
Still sitting in the sand, Spike couldn’t help smiling at the annoyed tone of his Mate.
“No clue, luv. Were you asleep yet?”
There was a brief pause as she realized who was on the line, and her voice was much softer when she replied.
“No. I should be asleep and getting my beauty rest, but I miss you too much. Where are you?”
“Peaches was tired of hearing me complain so he took me for a ride. I’m by the ocean now.”
He could hear a soft little sigh. “’Wish I was with you,” she whispered.
“Me too, luv.”
Quiet pause. “Tell me a story?”
“What kind of story?”
“I don’t know. A fairy tale or something to help me sleep.”
A fairy tale… Not exactly his subject of predilection. He was much better at horror stories.
“Once upon a time, in a far away country, there was a prince…”
“And his name was William,” she cut in.
“Whose story is it, luv?”
“Sorry, go ahead.”
“Alright. So there was a prince and, yes, he was called William. But you see this fair prince had been cursed long before by a nasty wizard and he had been blinded, in a very unusual way. He could go around, see any object or thing, and do things that people do, but he actually couldn’t see anyone. So he was going from country to country, trying to find a way to get his sight back, but without success for many, many years. And then one day, as he was exploring a new kingdom, he crossed paths with a princess. And to his big surprise, he could see her. She was the first person he had seen since he had been cursed, and he still couldn’t see anyone else, but he could see her, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her because she was so beautiful and luminous and brave and everything he had ever dreamed of. And her name was…”
“Buffy!”
“Nope. That wasn’t her name. She was called Slayer. But you see…”
“Slayer is not a name”, came the pouting protest.
“It is in my story,” Spike shot back, stifling a chuckle. “Can I keep on now? Or you want me to stop?”
“Keep on. But you’re mean.”
“Yes, I’m a mean old vampire that tells a fairy tale to the woman he loves instead of jumping into the car and going to shag her properly.”
She laughed quietly, and he resumed his story.
“So. The problem with Slayer was that she couldn’t see William. She could see everybody else very clearly, just not him. I guess she was cursed too. So she couldn’t see how the prince was following her, and helping her do little things for the kingdom. And some big ones too. He helped her to defeat a great wizard, the same one who had cursed him. And also a big nasty dragon that had bad fashion sense. And as he did these things, slowly he could start seeing the people around her. Her family and then her friends and then everyone. But still she couldn’t see him. So he did something very stupid. He chained her to a wall, thinking that she would have to see him eventually if he remained in front of her day and night. But it didn’t work, and she was just getting afraid of this person she couldn’t see. So he gave up. He decided to let her go, and to keep on as before, helping her, knowing that she had given him his sight back even if she never knew about him. And at the instant he freed her, she looked straight into his eyes and smiled, because she could see him now, and she was happy that someone as good looking…”
Soft chuckle on the other side of the line.
“…had come to rescue her from her invisible enemy. And so they married and lived happily ever after.”
There was a pause, and then Buffy said:
“So the princess marries William just because he is good looking? She sounds kinda fickle. “
“Yeah, well,” he defended himself, “what do you expect from someone called Slayer?”
She laughed quietly, and he was sure she was going to make some other comment, until she whispered:
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I love you. And not just for your good looks.”
“Love you too, baby,” he replied with a smile.
They had hung up for a few minutes already, long enough for Spike to smoke one more fag, when Angel finally came back. He had also had the time to slip the cell phone into Angel’s jacket in the car, along with the ring he had bought earlier.