Chapter 21: Anger
Even engrossed as she was by the slow sips she was taking of Angel’s blood, Buffy had felt her Sire come closer, so his entrance wasn’t much of a surprise. What amused her, however, was the jealous look in his eyes. His shock, too.
She reluctantly let go of the still living human’s neck and grinned at Spike. She hadn’t expected him to burst in before she was done with Angel, but if he was ready to help, she had no objections.
“No need to get upset. There’s still some left for you.”
She had been very careful as she drew the precious nectar. It was her first real meal, and she had wanted to savor each drop of it and make it last. Spike wasn’t answering to her offer, though. He hadn’t moved one step, hadn’t said a word; he was just watching her with what looked now very much like anger. And pain.
Shrugging, she returned her attention to the two punctures that were trickling blood and gave them a quick lap.
“You don’t know what you’re missing,” she said, trying to tempt him. “He tastes even better now than when he was a vamp.”
Still, no reaction, except for a light twitch in his jaw. Deciding that she had waited enough, Buffy fastened her mouth to Angel’s neck again. That brought out an answer from Spike.
“Stop.”
The word was quiet, emotionless, and wasn’t accompanied by any movement, yet Buffy was compelled to obey. Again, her gaze rose toward her Sire, but she was becoming annoyed now.
“Care to explain what you’re doing, Slayer?”
Not so impassive anymore. There were still jealousy and anger in the fire of his eyes, and they tinted his voice, even if he obviously tried to control himself.
“I am turning this poof back into Angelus. You wanna help?”
Buffy could almost have laughed as surprise filled Spike’s face. He even took a step back, and stared at her, unbelieving.
“What would happen if we both fed him our blood?” she asked, toying with the idea. “Would we both be his Sires? That could be fun. What do you think, love?”
Slowly, Spike shook his head in denial.
“Why?” he asked in a murmur. “Why in hell would you do that?”
“Why not? Angelus is a lot more fun than Angel.”
“Fun?” Spike repeated, incredulous.
“Yes, fun. I didn’t get it when Dru said we could all be a family, but it’s crystal clear, now. Not that I regret the bitch, good riddance, but once we turn Angel and maybe even Steven, we will have a hell of a good time!”
What she didn’t want to say out loud was that Spike hadn’t been a hunter in so long that she feared he had lost his touch. But she had no doubt that with some help he could become again the Slayer of Slayers he had been. All of them together, they would set the world of fire, and dance among the ruins. After all, she had saved it often enough to deserve to get some fun.
*****
It had to be a nightmare. He was undoubtedly still asleep, and this was all just a nightmare. There was no other way. There could be no other way. And yet, he wasn’t waking up. However hard he ordered his body to wake up and put an end to this monstrosity, he was still there, a few steps from a vamped out Buffy, whose lips were red with Angel’s blood, and who was talking about turning him into Angelus as she would have talked of the weather.
He finally managed to tear his eyes away from her and brought them to Angel. All he could see were the two bleeding marks on his neck, everything else was obliterated. Everything but the sound of his heartbeat. So slow. Too slow. That simple sound made Spike snap out of his stupor. If he did nothing, Angel might die, whether Buffy took another drop of his blood or not. He wasn’t sure a dead Angel wouldn’t have been better, but he wasn’t sure either if he was in any state to take that decision now. First, make sure Angel would live. Then understand what had happened to Buffy. Then fix it. Then, and only then, would he allow himself to give in to the anger he felt raging in him.
“Get off the bed, sit down, and don’t move even one finger until I say you can.”
Whatever else was wrong with Buffy, at least she still obeyed Sire’s commands. She didn’t look particularly happy about it, though, as she let herself fall into a chair in a corner of the room and crossed her arms over her chest. Sulky and pouting, Spike would have called her adorable, if he hadn’t been too numb to feel anything.
Getting to the bed despite his urge to turn around and run away from both his Sire and Childe, he pulled Angel flat on his back and checked the wound gingerly. The only reason the man was still alive was that Buffy hadn’t bitten through a major blood vessel. Without needing to think, Spike went to the bathroom and pulled out gauze and tape from the first aid box. Back in the bedroom, he settled on bandaging the two punctures, refusing to give Buffy a look even when she addressed him.
“Come on”, she pleaded. “He’s almost dead anyway. He sired you, you sire him, that’s just a nice return of favors. I’m sure he’ll be grateful…”
“Why in hell would he be?” Spike hissed between his teeth. “The ponce has been moaning for his humanity for so long, and when he gets it back you want to vamp him again. I very much doubt he would be grateful.”
“Who cares about Angel?” Buffy replied with a shrug. “It’s Angelus I’m talking about.”
Spike could only laugh at that, though he felt more like screaming.
“What do you know about Angelus? Nothing. You think you know him, but you don’t. You have no idea…”
Pressing his lips tightly, Spike forced himself to stop there. Getting into an argument with Buffy wouldn’t help right now. First things first. Growling at the still glazed look in his open eyes, he slapped Angel, harder, maybe, than he should have, considering his condition, but far more gently that he wanted to.
“Wake up, you bloody idiot”, he snarled.
No reaction. Another slap. “How you could be stupid enough to let her enthrall you, I have no fucking clue.”
Still, Angel wasn’t answering. “I swear, I should finish you off just for your stupidity.”
This time, his hand didn’t reach Angel’s face, as the human blinked several times. His eyes finally focused on Spike as he touched his neck carefully where it was now bandaged.
“And what exactly do you suggest I had done?” he managed to say, his voice tired and dry.
Spike only glared at him. As a Master Vampire, Angel probably could have resisted a thrall by a younger vampire. As a human, there was just nothing he could have done.
“Try to stay awake,” Spike said coldly. “I’ll go get Steven so that he can take you to the hospital.”
“I don’t need…” Angel started, and tried to sit, only to fail miserably.
“Yeah, sure, you don’t need to get to the hospital. And I am not angry enough to snap your neck and end your suffering. Don’t move and shut your bloody mouth.”
With that, he threw a glance at the now very obviously irritated Buffy, who was still immobile on her chair, and got out of the room. Striding through the corridor, he stopped in front of Steven’s room and banged angrily on the door until it opened in front of the startled young man, who was wearing a sheet draped around him.
“Get dressed. Your father needs a ride to the hospital.”
Still half asleep, the kid didn’t move, staring at Spike as if he had grown another head. The vampire realized belatedly that he was still wearing his game mask, but couldn’t have changed back even if he had cared to.
“The hospital?” he muttered. “Why?”
“I told you to get dressed!” Spike snapped. “I meant today, not tomorrow. I’ll get Peaches down to the hall, join us there.”
Without waiting to see whether the kid was moving, Spike turned around and walked back to Angel’s room, unwilling to leave Buffy and her almost-victim alone any longer than necessary.
*****
After Spike left the room, Angel managed to pull himself to a sitting position, although the effort left him feeling quite light-headed. When his vision had cleared up again, he carefully turned toward Buffy, a hand pressed against the bandage on his neck. Immobile, she seemed very calm, but a lot was passing through her eyes, too much for him to recognize the emotions.
“Were you going to just kill me,” he asked quietly“, or turn me?”
He knew, really, in his heart and flesh which one it was. But he needed to hear her say it. Maybe it would make it more real that Buffy had actually attacked him. Maybe it would shed some light on why she had done so.
“Turn you, of course,” she said with the hint of a smile. “I could still do it, you know.”
“Why?” Angel murmured, pushing back the dry sobs that were rising in his throat.
“You want it,” Buffy said simply.
Her affirmation left Angel speechless for a couple of seconds. How could she ever think he would want to be vamped again?
“I don’t…”
“You can lie to yourself”, Buffy interrupted him coolly, “you can lie to the others, but not to me. You didn’t fight the thrall. You didn’t fight at all. You wanted it. And I know why, lover. Back to being a vamp, a real vamp, you could have had both of us. The two persons you love, the two persons who love you.”
Completely numbed by the words this woman he thought he knew was giving him, Angel shook his head, not understanding what she was saying.
“The two persons?” he repeated slowly.
Her grin widened, and her gaze flickered between him and the door, where, he realized, Spike was standing, his face more murderous than Angel had ever seen. And the deadly eyes were looking straight at him.
“Me and Spike,” Buffy chirped in. “Don’t you know we…”
“Be quiet, Childe.”
It was a relief when Spike’s gaze left Angel to settle momentarily on Buffy, and the brunette let out a quiet sigh. Why Spike was as angry at him as he was at Buffy, Angel had no idea. Was it his fault the suddenly insane Slayer had attacked him? He didn’t think it was wise to voice that remark right now, though, and didn’t say a word as Spike helped him get up and took most of his weight on him as they walked out of the room and toward the first floor. As they reached, with some difficulty, the last step, Angel felt compelled to say something at last.
“Spike, she didn’t mean…”
“Not. Now.”
A few more steps and Spike was letting Angel slide on the sofa in the middle of the hall. The human felt as tired as he had after the day-long apocalypse fight a few days before. He didn’t believe he was going to die, but maybe the hospital wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
“Listen”, Angel tried again as Spike paced in front of him, “it’s…”
“No, you listen”, the blonde interrupted him, his whole body so tense that Angel thought he might jump on him. “My Mate just tried to turn you because she… she said she loves you. Talking to you is the last thing I want to do now. I don’t even know why I care about saving your sorry ass.”
At that moment, Steven entered through the front door, and Spike twirled around, giving the impression he was on the brink of attacking the teen. Steven raised his hands peacefully.
“Hey, calm down”, he said quickly. “It’s just me. I got the car as close as I could.”
As Spike nodded stiffly, Steven’s eyes moved to Angel, and he frowned at the very obvious bandage on his neck.
“What happened?” the kid asked icily, an almost accusing glare moving to Spike.
The blonde didn’t say a word, and instead helped Angel get up and walk to the door.
“I said, what happened?” Steven repeated, this time addressing his father.
Angel tried to catch Spike’s gaze to know what he should answer, but there was nothing for him in the still golden eyes.
“Just an accident,” Angel finally replied warily. “Let’s go now.”
By the hard look Steven gave him, there was no doubt that he didn’t believe Angel, and would press the matter later. But for now, he said nothing and stepped in to take Spike’s place as a support to Angel. Together, they walked outside in the barely risen sunlight, leaving behind them a vampire who did not give them a parting word as he banged the door shut behind them.