Chapter 24: Permission to Kill
None too soon, night had finally fallen. The two soulless vampires had made their way down to the hotel’s foyer, finding the other occupants gathered there. There was very little talk. A quiet but forceful statement from Steven that Dawn wouldn’t be returning to Sunnydale until everything was back to normal. A somber declaration from Angel that he had tried contacting Cordelia to get her help, but with no success so far. A whispered request from Dawn to Spike that he take care of her sister.
Buffy watched all of this with disinterest. A few hours before, she had had plans for two of these people. Now, they were out of her reach. Family, her Sire had said. Not to be hurt because they were family. He meant it, certainly, but she was sure it wasn’t everything. Jealousy. It amused her a little, it was so endearing. He didn’t want to share her with anyone. It was alright, they could still have a lot of fun, just the two of them. And they were on their way toward this fun right now, speeding on the highway in the early night.
“I am hungry,” Buffy said suddenly, licking her lips as she wiggled her way closer to her lover.
She pulled on his duster’s collar, then on the t-shirt he wore underneath, revealing pale marble that she nibbled on, careful not to break the skin. Long ago, he had given her what he called a permanent invitation, so his permission wasn’t her concern. The matter was that she knew the only blood he had had all day had been taken from her neck, and not nearly enough at that to satisfy his hunger.
“You must be hungry too,” she commented, still nibbling delicately.
“We will be there soon,” he replied absently, taking his eyes off the road briefly to look and smile at her.
The smile was slightly off though, as were the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, the touch of his hand at her waist. He was still upset that she was now soulless, and she couldn’t understand why. After all, he didn’t have a soul either. It should have been a relief to him that he could at last give in to what she knew his demon must have wanted. Maybe he was so used to playing the white hat game that she had to point out more clearly that he didn’t have to anymore. So, point out she would.
“Will we stop by the Magic Box first?” she asked.
“Yes. All the gang should be there.”
“Good. That’s two each, plus the baby Slayer. Shall we share her as dessert?”
For a good ten seconds, he gave no hint that he had heard her, except for the slow tightening of his grip on the wheel.
“What do you mean, pet?” he finally asked, wary.
“I mean, we’re both hungry and we’re on our way to five people who will make quite a nice meal. Who do you want to eat first? Oh, let me guess. You’ll take the two Witches. Am I right?”
The car’s trajectory became slightly erratic, and a couple of cars honked before Spike seemed to regain his control of the vehicle. Again, he looked at her, but this time the smile was gone, replaced by utter surprise.
“Why would I want to eat the Witches?” he asked blankly, his hand clutching at her side to the point of pain. “Why would I want to hurt any of them?”
“Because they failed you,” Buffy explained patiently, as if talking to a child. “You asked them to do that spell on me for you, and they weren’t able to follow your wishes. They disappointed you. So they should be punished.”
She stated it matter of factly, conveniently forgetting to mention she was actually quite glad the Witches had failed. As Spike kept quiet, she continued her explanation.
“And all of them have deserved to die for a long time for what they did to you. Kept you chained in a bathtub for weeks. Made fun of you because you couldn’t hunt. Treated you like an impotent thing. Used you when they saw it was convenient. Made you a babysitter. Didn’t tell you about their plans to bring me back. Ignored you after that. Plotted to dust you after you turned me. Never trusted you. Just a few days ago they were angry at you because I had decided to be a vampire again.”
With each item she added to the list, Buffy was thrilled to see her Sire’s face get even more somber, until she was sure he was ready to burst with anger. He surprised her however as he declared in a carefully controlled voice:
“They are my friends. They are far from perfect, but they are. And they are your friends too. No eating. No turning. No killing. No thrall.”
Once more, his eyes sought hers, and they seemed dull, dead, the usual blue now almost gray.
“You hear me, Childe?” he insisted. “You are not to harm them.”
This was becoming ridiculous. Soon, he would tell her that she couldn’t eat anyone at all. And after her first try earlier that day, she was very much decided not to give up on fresh meals, even if it meant arguing with her Sire. Irritated, she pulled away from him, resting her back against the car’s door so that she could see him as she talked.
“I didn’t complain when you told me not to harm our so called family,” she growled, spitting the last word as if it tasted bad on her tongue. “They share our blood, I can understand that, even if I don’t get why you don’t want them turned. But friends? These humans, our friends? Please! Haven’t they done enough for you to understand they only tolerate you because of me? And that they keep me around because I saved their butts so many times? They use you, as they use me, nothing more. It is past time we got something out of this. They are nothing but happy meals on legs!”
The car suddenly stopped in a loud noise of screeching tires, and through the few spots that allowed seeing outside Buffy realized that they had arrived at their destination. She hadn’t noticed they were so close, caught up as she was in trying to get her Sire to see reason. Slowly, he turned to her, and his face reflected no emotions.
“No,” he said simply.
“You can’t stop me from eating them,” she said rebelliously.
“Yes, I can. And I will. If I have to order you every ten minutes or so for the rest of my life not to touch any of the bloody Scoobies, then I will.”
Buffy scowled at his words. He had figured out much too soon for her liking how long his orders held her. He had answered to her questions that it was unusual for such a young vampire to be able to fight commands from her Sire in so little time, and that at her age one word from his Sire could hold him for hours.
“What about the Slayer?” she changed the subject gruffly. “She’s not our friend. And she has that very annoying fixation on you.”
Spike sighed and shook his head lightly.
“You are not killing the kid either.”
“Why not?” Buffy exploded, slipping into game face to show her displeasure. “You killed four Slayers yourself. Why can’t I kill one? Wouldn’t that make you proud of me?”
A look of pain moved through Spike’s face at her words, so quickly that Buffy wasn’t sure it was pain she had seen. Very slowly, he moved across the seats, until he held her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks as lightly as feathers.
“I am proud of you, luv,” he said very gently. “Very proud. You are the most wonderful Childe any vampire could dream of having. The most delightful Mate. But I cannot let you kill, however much you want it. Because, you see, soon these people you say aren’t our friends are going to find a way to bring your soul back. And when they do, I don’t want you to hurt inside because of what you did while your soul was wandering off somewhere. I’ve been there, luv. I know how much it burns. And I promise I won’t let it happen to you.”
Buffy was about to protest that if they killed them all now, they would never restore her soul and therefore she would never feel that burn he was talking of. But his lips, pressing against hers insistently, prevented her voicing her thought. Too soon however, he broke the kiss.
“We are going to go in now,” he stated, caressing her face lightly until she allowed the ridges to melt under his touch. “Do I need to order you not to hurt them?”
She said nothing, but something in her eyes or face must have given her away, because he sighed again, tiredly, before using that voice she now hated so much to command her not to put under thrall or harm in any way any of the persons they were going to see. Grinding her teeth, she followed him inside. She had to find a way to make him change his mind about food, and very quickly.
*****
The two Scooby couples were sitting at the research table, perusing a large number of books, when Spike and his Childe entered the store. All four of them threw worried glances at the vampires, even though they were smiling, or trying to.
Buffy’s little rant in the car about how the Scoobies had treated him through the years must have touched Spike more than he thought, because for an instant, a very short instant, he saw them with the eyes of the demon. Happy meals on legs, Buffy had said, using his own words from years back. Even more easy to get because they wouldn’t suspect a thing until they were on them. Deal with the Witches first, they were the most dangerous of the group, then the ex-demon, then the whelp. Avenge the bathtub, the name-calling, the jokes, the distrust, the pity, the disgust. And gone the people who had mourned Buffy with him, who had tried to help him get rid of the chip, who had finally accepted him for himself, whatever Buffy had said in the car, whom he liked too much for his own good.
Shaking his head lightly, he pushed the thoughts away, they weren’t very helpful at the moment. Glancing at the woman at his side, he realized that her thoughts must have been of the same nature, because as she observed the group she was licking her lips, just a little, as if savoring their blood already. He held her hand just a little tighter, and moved forward into the room.
“Evening, guys”, he answered their greetings. “The Slayer and me will get something to eat and we’ll be right back for research fun.”
At their collective nod, he pulled Buffy after him into the office and transferred two blood bags from the mini fridge to the microwave. Maybe after she had fed a little Buffy wouldn’t look at them with such bloodlust in her eyes. Maybe.
Even before the blood was warm, Willow joined them in the office, and he noticed the way Buffy shifted in her chair, as if getting ready to jump on her friend. His commands had to hold. They just had to. He couldn’t make himself even think of tying her up, let alone do it. At least, not like that.
“Anything new?” he asked the redhead as she looked at him and Buffy anxiously.
“Well, yes and no,” she babbled. “Still no clue why the spell didn’t work, but we’re working on it. Tara will do a little aura check on Buffy when you’re done with your snack, see if she can notice something unusual.”
Spike nodded, Buffy grumbled softly. Willow waited until they had both started emptying the now warm blood bags before she continued.
“About the why and how she lost her soul…”
She hesitated, and Spike wondered if it was because of what she was about to say or because of the way Buffy was licking her lips clean while ostentatiously watching Willow’s neck.
“What did you find?” he asked her, trying to bring her attention back on him.
“Well, it’s nothing sure, just a little suspicion. You see, we know she did a spell but we don’t know what spell, so it might be something else and we could be completely wrong. Plus, I really don’t see why she would…”
“Red,” Spike growled. “Who is this ‘she’?”
“Manon,” Willow replied very low. “Tara noticed that some of our herbs have disappeared, and she found some candle wax on the floor in her room. As far as we can figure, she did something last night.”
“Right when Buffy’s soul went missing,” Spike said coldly.
“That’s why we made the connection,” the Witch said with a nod. “But we really don’t know what she did exactly. We haven’t asked her about it yet, we didn’t tell her about Buffy’s soul, either, to see if she would let something slip, but she didn’t. And we really can’t figure out why she would do something like that.”
Once again, anger was started to boil in Spike’s veins, and it was a struggle not to let the game face come forward. Had the little minx thought that he wouldn’t want a soulless Buffy and therefore would be free for her to take? How badly she was mistaken if that had been her plan!
“I know why,” he said curtly. “Where is she?”
“In the training room.”
“I’m gonna kill the damn girl!”
With that threat, he strode out of the office and toward the back room, barely aware of Willow’s protests and Buffy’s chuckle.
“I want a taste”, his Childe called after him. “Keep some for me, OK?”