Chapter 9: Sleeping Arrangements
The girls giggled as they hurried up the stairs to their room after their date. Buffy had to admit, she’d had fun tonight, hanging out with her old friends. Angel and Xander had showed up to pick them up at seven, each carrying a beautiful red rose that had been presented to their dates respectively. A nice dinner, with a lot of reminiscing about some high school hijinks had followed, and their laughter had been so loud, they’d finally decided to leave because they were getting dirty looks from those around them.
They’d left and headed out for a couple of rounds of bowling at the Sunnydale Lanes. They start out playing guys against girls, with Buffy and Willow holding their own initially, but soon found that Xander’s superior skill pulled the guys ahead. They’d switched for the second round, so that Willow was on the winning team when paired with her date.
They’d finally ended up down by the lake, sitting on the edge of the docks. After a short while, Willow and Xander had wandered off for a walk, while Buffy and Angel had continued to sit on the dock and chat.
The view had been pretty and the setting romantic, with the moonlight reflecting off the water. By all rights, it should have been a perfect ending to a date. But for some reason, Buffy didn’t really feel a spark. If anything, she just felt a little cold and shivered slightly in the cool breeze coming off the lake. Angel had offered her his jacket and after she refused, he’d slung his arm around her to “keep her warm”. She’d leaned against him, her head against his shoulder and they’d stayed just that way for some time, quietly talking about this and that and watching the lake.
Buffy had been a little surprised, she had a fair idea of why Xander and Willow had wandered off, but Angel had seemed content to just sit next to her, no pressure at all. He finally leaned in to kiss her and she responded, lips brushing, mouths opening slightly, but it was over quickly and Buffy felt a sort of clinical detachment as she catalogued the kiss as nice, but far from spectacular. No racing heart, no accelerated pulse, just a mild hmmm. She wondered if it was her, and thought about pulling him down for a second try, but footsteps sounded on the dock just then and she let the thought go.
The other couple had returned, slightly rumpled, but flushed and happy, and they’d decided to call it a night, since Buffy had to start her job the next day. They had driven back to Stevenson and the girls said their goodnights, heading inside. Buffy followed Willow into their room, then turned and locked the door behind them.
“Willow, you have pine needles in you hair.” Buffy smirked as she walked over to pull the greenery out of Willow’s fiery locks. “Fess up missy, how did that come about?”
Willow gave a huge sigh and pretended to swoon on to her bed. “Oh Buffy, Xander’s wonderful. I had a fabulous time tonight, didn’t you?”
Buffy nodded. She’d had fun, apparently not as much fun as Willow, but it had been a good time. Angel was companionable and he had been a gentleman, which she appreciated. But she wasn’t blown away. But still, a nice evening and she was willing to go out with him again, if he asked. Maybe they just needed to get to know each other better.
<><><><>
The following Wednesday, Buffy mounted the steps to Spike’s apartment, juggling the bags of food she’d picked up from the Chinese restaurant on the edge of campus, her bookbag, and an extra duffel. He’d been so helpful last week that she’d even been able to correctly answer questions in class today. She was bringing dinner as promised, but she fully intended to do his laundry this week as well, as an extra thank you.
She sat a few bags down on the landing, so she could knock, but got no response. She pulled out her keys and inserted the correct one into the door, pushing it open tentatively.
“Spike? Anybody home?”
When no one answered, she went in, gathering up his discarded clothes and throwing them in the duffel. She found herself sniffing a shirt here and there, to see if it was clean of course, and enjoyed the combination of smells that made up Spike. She made herself stop after about the third shirt, knowing if he walked in and caught her sniffing his clothes, he’d think she was a freak. She took one last furtive sniff, and then set the duffel aside as she unpacked the Chinese and arranged it buffet style on his counter. She was just finishing up as Spike walked through the door.
“Hi honey, I’m home,” he quipped as he took in his considerably neater apartment, now that the random pieces of clothing he seemed to shed throughout the week were gone.
“Buffy, luv, where are my clothes?”
“I’m doing your laundry this week.” Before he could protest, she bounced over to him, gleeful in her excitement. “Spike, I answered questions in class today! And they were right! And I knew what I was saying too, I wasn’t just making stuff up. So thank you very much, you get the laundry bonus.”
He smiled down at her. “That’s wonderful, Goldy. And that’s quite the spread you’ve “cooked” for us tonight.”
“Told you I was great at take-out.”
They filled their plates and ate as they discussed their respective days. Spike told Buffy about his professor’s new project that he was working on and they discussed some of the things she would be likely to encounter at Jenny’s gallery, where Spike had been helping on and off for years now. He had her rolling with his tales about the poodle lady, the woman who refused to leave her tiny toy poodle at home because she frequently bought pieces based on her dog’s response, the barks and whines all having some meaning that she interpreted. Buffy was still laughing at his mimicry as they packed away the leftovers in the fridge, then broke out the books to study.
A few hours later, Buffy sighed and stretched. She was pleased by their progress. Spike really broke things down and she’d managed to get a little ahead. She glanced at the clock, realizing it was already nine.
“Spike, I’m sorry to have stayed so late, I know you must have other stuff to do. I’m sure I’ll be fine walking home alone. I’ll take the flashlight.” She started packing up her books. Spike grasped her wrist and stopped her frantic packing.
“You bloody well will not. Buffy. Listen to me. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to. It’s not a burden, you being here. I like spending time with you, pet. I missed you the last three years, it hasn’t been the same without you. So if a little math tutoring if the price I pay for some time with you, it’s a low cost, in my opinion.”
Buffy had just stared at him, her eyes wide. She honestly could not think of a single reply to his sincere statement, but his words touched her deeply.
He stood up and moved away as she continued to absorb his statement. “Can you spare an hour before you go home? It’s my telly time, I wanted to watch my tape.”
Buffy looked up and laughed. “Spike, are you still addicted to Passions?”
He admitted to his deep dark secret and they watched the tape together, him catching her up on the finer points of the show as they went along. He walked her home afterwards through the woods, carrying the duffel of laundry, still insisting she didn’t have to do it.
<><><><>
The next few weeks found Buffy settling in and a rhythm of sorts developed in her life. She worked at the gallery on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, enjoying the chance to explore the variety of art Jenny carried and learn more about the business. She’d had a few more dates with Angel on the Friday nights he wasn’t traveling with the football team, and met with Spike for tutoring every Wednesday. She and Willow had agree to rush for Cordy’s sorority and were accepted, as predicted. Buffy soon added Monday night meetings at the house to her slate of activities. She enjoyed being part of the group, but still preferred hanging out with her old friends over everything else.
She found herself popping over to Spike’s place more and more often as the weeks past, for a quiet place to study and hang out and she soon shared his Passions addiction, watching his nightly tape with him. He started leaving the episodes for her to catch up on when she’d miss a night or couldn’t come by. She felt deprived when something came up to keep her from dropping by his place for their nightly ritual.
He always seemed glad to see her and she realized he’d been right, he was a big part of what she’d been missing for the last three years as well. She found that she was reluctant to share that she was spending so much time with him, even with Willow. Will knew about the Wednesday night tutoring, but she thought Buffy was studying at the library most other nights, and Buffy hadn’t really tried to dispel the notion.
She didn’t know why she didn’t want to talk about it with Willow or Jenny, she just didn’t think they’d understand, that they’d tried to put a label on them or categorize their relationship in some way. She didn’t know what their relationship was exactly, and she didn’t really want to, because she liked things as they were. Being at Spike’s place with just him, with no one else in the world knowing where she was, was like being in a soft, safe cocoon where everything in her universe was all right.
<><><><>
Late September arrived. Buffy and Willow were studying in companionable silence in their room, preparing for a round of quizzes that several professors had popped up with as the semester progressed. At least, the studying started out in silence. Buffy realized that Willow was doing that little tap-tap-tap thing with her pencil that she did when she needed to talk about something.
Willow finally stopped the tapping. “Buffy, I have a huge favor to ask. You aren’t, by any chance, going home for the weekend, are you?”
Buffy looked at her in confusion. “I hadn’t planned on it. Angel offered to take me to the movies, some new action flick I think. Why?”
“Well, I guess I was wondering, if it would be possible for me to have the room Friday night.”
“Oh. Ohhhh. You and Xander? You guys are moving right along there, eh Will?”
“I know. And I really want him to spend the night, you know, afterwards. But obviously we can’t go to my house or his parents, they’re both around and that feels too much like sneaking around in high school. And he has his own room at the frat house, but the walls are pretty thin and the other guys are all nosy. So this seems like the best locale. But I feel bad kicking you out of the room, I just thought you might be going anyway. That’s okay, we’ll find somewhere else.”
“Willow. Stop. It’s fine. I’m working at the gallery on Saturday anyway. I’ll just get Angel to drop me off at Giles’ house, instead of here. I hope you guys have a good time.”
“Thank you Buffy, I really appreciate it.”
<><><><>
Buffy and Angel exited the movie theater, carrying the remains of a huge tub of buttered popcorn.
“Well that was interesting. I had no idea one could crash a car that many different ways.”
“You mean you didn’t like the car chases? And there were so many. Women..you just don’t get it.”
She punched him lightly on the arm and then looped her arm in his as they headed for his car. As usual, she’d had a nice time with Angel.
Nice. Such a boring adjective and yet the best one to describe their dates. He was always super polite, very charming, opened doors, and so on. She should really be grateful that she’d lucked out in finding a good guy to date so quickly after coming back to Sunnydale. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, maybe she just needed to work harder at this relationship.
“Oh, Angel, I almost forgot. Can you actually drop me off at Giles’, instead of the dorm tonight? I’m going to spend the night there.”
“Sure thing.” He’d drove her to the old neighborhood, covertly checking his watch and the time. She wondered about that. He always seemed to check his watch as the date grew later. She wondered if there was some rule about how long a date should be that she didn’t know about.
As he pulled into Giles’ driveway, she quietly got out, after a quick goodnight kiss and walked to the front door as he pulled away. The house was dark and silent and she tried to be mouse-like in creeping in, so as not to disturb the sleeping Giles.
Then suddenly she realized there was music playing in the family room. She walked quietly down the hall and stopped dead, just short of the doorway.
Dancing in front of her, to some sort of soulful blues tune, were a very naked Jenny and Giles, bodies intertwined as they swayed to the music. Buffy clapped her hand to her eyes as she backed as quietly as she could down the hallway, certain they hadn’t seem her, as wrapped up in each other as they were. She managed to get the front door closed and relocked it, before she collapsed on the front step.
She was afraid she might be permanently scarred for life. Naked Giles and Naked Jenny all wrapped around each other. As much as she adored them both and as happy as she was for them, she had not needed to see that. She shuddered, seeing one’s parents, or parent substitutes in her case, getting a happy simply should never happen. She regained her composure and reached for her cell phone.
She tried Angel’s phone, thinking that he couldn’t have gotten far, and he could surely could come back and pick her up. She was puzzled when she got nothing but voice mail, so she left him a message to call her back. He must have shut his phone off. She hated to call Willow and Xander and mess up their special evening. She thought some more. Spike! Of course! He’d come get her and he could properly sympathize about the impact of this on her. She couldn’t wait to tell him.
Quickly she dialed his cell, which he answered over a dull roar in the background.
“Spike? Where are you?”
“Buffy?” He covered his other ear with his hand in an attempt to block out more noise and edged away from the stage at the Bronze into the back hallway, where he could hear a little better.
“Buffy? Is that you?”
“Hey Spike – what’s the noise?”
“I’m at the Bronze, pet, there are some new bands up from LA playing tonight, one of my old bandmates called and recommended I come check’em out. They’re pretty good. How are you pet? Everything okay?”
“Actually, I have a little problem I was hoping you could help me with. I hate to interrupt your evening, but is there any way you can come and get me at Giles’ house? You are never going to believe what I just saw.”
They finalized the arrangements and Buffy walked down to the end of the street to wait for Spike’s arrival. As soon as he pulled up, she hopped in the car.
“Hey Goldilocks, do you mind coming back to the Bronze with me? They were taking a break between sets when I left to come get you and the band I went to hear is going to play one more time tonight. Do you mind?”
“Not at all. Now let me tell you how I’m scarred for life.”
She related what she’d seen and he sympathized with her, agreeing that seeing Giles or Jenny naked would have been quite the shocker. They laughed about it, but each were privately thinking about the sweetness the older couple had found.
“Do you think they are going to get married?” Buffy asked, looking over at Spike.
“I don’t know. She’s almost moved into Giles’ place now. I think they could be happy just as they are, but he’s pretty traditional.”
“I know. He made a comment to me the other day about being fortunate that he hadn’t lost her. It makes me think that maybe he wants to make things official. Wouldn’t that be cool, I bet I’d get to be a bridesmaid!” She dimpled at him and he had a vision of Buffy floating down the aisle, dressed in white instead of some pastel fluff.
“Yeah, though I suppose I’d have to wear a nancy-boy tux if they go for the fancy deal. It’d be worth it though, to see the two of them happily ever after.”
They pulled up to the Bronze, and entered after Spike played Buffy’s cover charge. The crowd was a little different tonight than on many of the evenings Buffy had hung out here, both as a teenager and since returning to Sunnydale. Clearly the harder sound of the LA bands had drawn in a more diverse group than usual. Spike took her hand in his and led her closer to the stage. He stopped to talk to a few different individuals along the way, and finally found them a position where they could see the bands.
He stood behind her, his hands placed protectively on her shoulders. She recognized the territorial gesture for what it was, a protective measure designed to discourage others from bothering her in the thrashing crowd, but she relished the feel of him behind her as they listened to the bands play. She gradually relaxed back against him, and he smiled down at her, sliding his hands from her shoulders down to her waist, looping his arms across her stomach and resting his chin on her head as they listened to the music. She closed her eyes for a minute, enjoying the cacophony of sounds mixed in with the feel of Spike behind her.
The band finished its last song and Spike led her to the stage, never loosening his grip on her as he chatted with some of the musicians about their set and mutual friends and acquaintances. She briefly realized that standing there with Spike felt natural, she didn’t feel the resentment she sometimes felt when Angel threw his arm around her, clearly marking her as his turf when they were around his teammates or frat brothers.
She thought maybe the difference was in the motivation. With Angel, despite his sweet words, she always worried that maybe she was just something pretty, part of his image. He always wanted her to look good and praised her appearance, but there was little heartfelt emotion behind his words. Whereas Spike, Spike was holding on to her to keep her safe. She didn’t feel like she was on display with him.
She smiled up at him. “Spike, you want me to go get you a drink?” He smiled back, “Sure, just a Coke is fine.”
She made her way through the crowd and to the bar, asking for two Cokes. One of the band members who been playing walked up and introduced himself as Jason. She told him her name, not wanting to be rude.
“So Buffy, did you enjoy the show.” She agreed politely that she did, but declined Jason’s offer to buy her a drink. He gave off smarmy vibes.
“So you’re with Spike, huh?”
Before she could answer, she felt Spike behind her. He slid his arms around her again and kissed her on the cheek. “Hey, luv, this bloke bothering my girl?” She could almost hear the growl in Spike’s voice as he glared at Jason.
“No, man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. Sorry, my bad.” Jason grabbed his beer and walked away.
Spike pulled away from her. “You ready to go? I think the bands I wanted to hear are done for the night.” She agreed, but could still feel his stiffness as she followed him outside.
Once in the car, she patted his shoulder. “Spike, it’s okay. Calm down. All he did is ask me to have a drink.”
He sighed as he put the key in the ignition, “I know, but I hated him looking at you like you were a piece of meat, some band groupie, who’d jump from my arms to his like a lot of the girls there tonight.”
“I know Spike, but really, it’s fine.” She slid across the seat and leaned her head against his shoulder. ‘I’m just glad you were there to come to my rescue. He was a little creepy.”
He began the drive back to campus. Buffy was clearly tired out, it was after 3:00AM and she was soon drowsing against Spike as he drove. Before long he pulled up to Stevenson Hall and gently shook her awake.
“Buffy, wake up, luv. You’re home.”
She pulled herself upright, something niggling in the back of her mind. She glanced up at the window to her room and could see some lights still flickering behind the shade. Xander and Willow. In her room. Having their special night. Clearly still doing so. She gulped. “Spike, I think I have a problem.”
She turned to face him. “See, the reason I went to Giles’ tonight was because Willow asked if she could have the room to herself. She and Xander wanted some alone time and our room, minus me, seemed the most private place. So I agreed, not thinking that I’d run into the same situation at home. But look at the window. I think they may still be, um busy, and I can’t walk in there. What am I going to do?”
Spike turned the key back on. “Just come back to my place. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed. Give you a chance to check out the stars, like I knowing you’ve been dying to do.’
She laughed and agreed. She had been fascinated by that bed ever since she’d first laid eyes on it.
They reached Spike’s place and mounted the stairs. He pawed through one of his dresser drawers and came up with an old t-shirt and pair of boxers for her to sleep in. She exited into the bathroom and quickly changed, making a small neat pile of her clothes for in the morning. She came out to find his bed turned down for her and Spike curled on the small couch. She walked over to where he lay, legs draped over the arms of the couch.
“Spike, that has got to be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. You look like you’re in pain. Get up and let me sleep there.”
“I’m fine.” He closed his eyes and attempted to roll over, but the narrowness of the couch prevented this without much maneuvering.
She pulled his covers off and carried them back to the bed with her.
“Spike, this is ridiculous. Get up or I’m going to pour cold water on you. I can’t sleep when you look that uncomfortable.”
He stood up. He didn’t really want her to sleep on the couch. She was right, it was incredibly uncomfortable. So that left the option of someone on the floor or them sharing his bed. What the hell, he liked torture.
“Fine. Come to bed, Buffy.”
She started for the now vacant couch.
“Nope. You aren’t sleeping there either. You’ll be just as bad off as I was. The bed is big, we are both adults, and there is no reason why we can’t both sleep there.”
She stared at him for a long minute, her hands still full of his bedding, then she tossed it on the couch and returned to the bed. He stared at the sight of her crawling across the crimson comforter, her golden skin contrasted by its rich color and reconsidered his offer for a brief moment.
Could he do this? He could. It wasn’t like she was coming to his bed to do more than sleep for a few hours. She was here as a friend, because she needed a place to stay. She’d even been on a date with another man earlier this evening. He breathed deeply, then turned out the light as he slid under the covers as well.
He felt a hand touch him on the shoulder lightly and he turned to find her facing him in the glow of the moonlight.
“Thank you Spike. For letting me stay here, for coming to get me tonight, for sharing the bed with me. And the stars are beautiful from here.” She gave him a light squeeze, then broke contact and rolled away to the safety of her side of the bed.
He let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved she hadn’t touched him more than she had. He didn’t know if he could have resisted her if she’d made the slightest move towards him. This, in a twisted sense, was one of his favorite fantasies. He’d take Buffy out to a club, show her the music he liked, have a perfect evening together, then come back here where he could make love to her under the stars, watching the moonlight dance across her body as he worshipped her. He’d gotten bits and pieces of that tonight, enough to make it hard to sleep peacefully next to her, knowing what he needed to make his life complete lay inches from him.
He didn’t know what they were playing at these days. She came to see him nearly every night now. He was still tutoring her, sure, but he knew there was more going on. She flirted more with him now. It was subtle, nothing blatant, but her gentle little touches, the way she’d curl up next to him on the couch while they watched television, her hugs when she got excited, all combined were rapidly crossing over beyond friendship in his book.
But she continued to date Angel. They didn’t talk about it, except in the most passing of terms. He’d seen her occasionally on campus, having lunch at a table with Angel, his buddies, and some of the new sorority girls, but he taken to avoiding that area after that, pained at seeing them together. He didn’t think she was really happy with Angel. She didn’t light up when he was mentioned or seem that excited when her cell indicated she had a message from him. She never called Angel back from his place. And she spent her evenings with him.
He remembered the pain of seeing Dru with another man. He didn’t want to break up a relationship that way, to try to seduce Buffy and pull her to him. He wanted her to come to him, free and clear, because she didn’t want anyone else. He had often thought about pushing her on the subject, asking her about Angel, asking her about them, seeing if they could stop with the games. But he always changed his mind. Right now he at least had a part of her, quite a big part and he wasn’t sure what it would do to him if she walked away. So he waited, hoping she’d call things off with Angel and give him the chance.
They had something between them, something so special he didn’t know of anything to compare it to. He saw glimpses of it when he looked at Jenny and Giles now. He thought it was what his mum had felt for the father he’d never known, because he remembered that lost look she’d get sometimes when she’d talk about him, as if part of her was missing. That was what he felt for Buffy. She was his other half and he wanted to be whole so badly.
He stole a glance in her direction, watching the back of her golden head and the curve of her t-shirt covered back for a moment, then looked away. He slowly forced his mind to go blank, knowing he wouldn’t sleep if he kept thinking about her. He rolled away as well, leaving the two of them facing safely in opposite directions as sleep captured them.
<><><><>
His first thought on waking was how warm he felt. He frequently didn’t bother wearing anything when he slept, and he was wearing both a t-shirt and pajama pants. Then he realized the other reason he was so warm was the soft fragrant body which was curled around him. Buffy. He looked down at her head nestled on his chest, her arm firmly curled around his neck and her leg thrown across his. He realized he was holding her as well, one hand tangled in her hair, the other draped across her back.
He closed his eyes again, unwilling to break the moment. She would wake up soon, he would let her go and this little interlude would be over. Best to enjoy while he could, assuming the hard-on which clearly was not paying any attention to his brain didn’t wake her and scare her to death, nudging her like that. He shifted lightly, trying to get a little relief. Better.
Buffy inhaled his scent as unobtrusively as possible as she lay against his chest. She thought he might have woken up just now, but she wasn’t sure. She wanted him to go back to sleep. She liked laying here, cosy and warm with him, snuggled together. If he woke up, he’d pull away and she’d miss the feel of his body, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears.
From where she lay, she could clearly see the erection he was sporting. An evil little voice inside encouraged her to see if she couldn’t help him out with that. She wondered what he’d do if she reached down, pulled those pants just a little lower and took him in her mouth.
She wasn’t all that experienced, she’d done that maybe twice with Geoff last year, to see what if was like and then on a dare during a stupid drinking game. She wondered if Spike would look like Geoff. Given the size of the tent in his pants, she thought he was probably bigger. Would he feel all velvety smooth under her fingers? Would he jump and twitch if she slid her tongue over his head and sucked..
Whoa there, Buffy. What the hell was she thinking? He’d been nice enough to let her stay here and the next morning all she could think about was jumping on him? The same evil little voice commented that he probably wouldn’t mind, it would be a nice way to say thank you, but she knew that would cross a line and change everything. One didn’t typically wake one’s best friend up by going down on them.
The inner voice echoed again, asking why that change would be so bad. She blocked it out, not ready to analyze why, she just knew she needed Spike’s friendship and she didn’t want to scare him away. Besides, Angel, date, last night. Why had she never had this urge to explore Angel like she suddenly, desperately wanted to with Spike?
She felt him stir and feigned sleepiness as she slowly rolled away.
“Good morning, Spike, I’m sorry if I was crowding you this morning.” she said, now safely back on her side of the bed.
He took in the sight of her sleep tousled hair and soft eyes, her face scrubbed free of makeup and thought she’d never looked more beautiful. “You were fine pet. What man doesn’t like to wake up to a gorgeous woman draped across him?”
The words hung in the air as her heart fluttered and she knew she was blushing. He moved closer and she almost thought her heart would stop. He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her. Suddenly change didn’t seem that bad.
He leaned in, watching her eyes flutter shut as he approached and fought the urge to attack her lips and roll her under him for a proper good morning snog. He kissed her gently on the forehead instead, then threw back the covers and started for the kitchen, refusing to look back at what he was leaving behind. “Pancakes, pet?” He called back over his shoulder.
Buffy sighed and got up as well. “Yeah, and then would you mind taking me back to Giles? I need to get ready for work. Besides, I think Jenny’s been missing you, she keeps asking why you don’t come to dinner more.”
“I know. I’m definitely going this week. You want to come with? I was thinking Tuesday night.”
And the morning dissolved into normality as they ate their pancakes.