Part 4
Buffy walked back to her dorm room. She was exhausted. The confrontation with her mother had been emotionally draining. As much as her mother tried to convince her she wasn’t mad, or disappointed, Buffy could see it in her eyes.
Buffy opened the door to her room. She had every intention of just collapsing into bed, and falling asleep. She walked into the room, and found Willow sitting on her bed waiting for her.
“Hey Buffy, how’s your mom?”
“Great,” Buffy replied.
Buffy walked to her dresser, and pulled out a pair of pajamas. She sat on her bed, and started untying her shoes.
“How was her trip?”
“Good. She’s tired, but she had fun,” Buffy answered struggling to untie a knot that had formed in her laces.
Buffy picked at the knot quickly growing frustrated. Buffy pulled harder on the laces, and ended up snapping one of them in half.
“Bloody hell,” Buffy shouted as she tossed the broken strings on the ground.
Buffy looked up at Willow, and seeing the look of shocked recognition on her face, Buffy groaned. There was no way to avoid the whole truth now.
~~~
Buffy was concentrating extremely hard on removing the splinter from her palm. She jabbed the tweezers into her flesh trying to extract the tiny sliver of wood.
“Bloody hell,” she shouted as the tweezers dug further into her flesh drawing blood.
Buffy tossed the tweezers onto the floor in frustration. She heard him chuckling behind her. “Sod off,” she shouted picking up the tweezers again.
“Someone’s got her knickers in a bunch,” Spike commented coming around in front of her.
“Someone’s going to have their knickers shoved down their throat if they don’t shut up,” Buffy threatened.
“You know I don’t wear any.”
Buffy just gave him a look before resuming her efforts to remove the splinter from her palm. After awhile of digging, Buffy mutters, “Fuck.”
“Let me help you,” Spike offered sitting next to her.
“I got it,” Buffy argued trying to move away from him, but Spike grabbed her hand.
He plucked the tweezers from her hand, and began working on getting the splinter out. “What happened?” Spike asked.
“When?”
“Your splinter.”
“Oh, I was making stakes,” Buffy replied.
Buffy winced as Spike tugged the splinter out. Spike brought her palm to his lips, and gently kissed it. “All gone luv. Feel better?”
Buffy nodded. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
“So wanna watch the telly?” Buffy asked.
Spike laughed. “You’re starting to talk like me.”
“Leave it to you to warp my vocabulary, and pervert my behavior.”
“Pervert your behavior?” Spike asked with a raised eyebrow. “I like the sound of that.”
~~~
Buffy sighed before admitting barely above a whisper, “It was Spike.”
“What?” Willow squeaked in disbelief.
“This summer. The guy I was with. It was Spike,” Buffy said louder.
Willow just stared back at her, and Buffy tried to read the expression on her face. She couldn’t see anything but shock. Finally, Willow found her voice, and simply asked, “Why?”
“I don’t know. I was alone, confused, scared, and he was there. And I needed him. He made me see myself.”
“Buffy, he’s Spike.”
“I know that, and it’s over so it doesn’t matter now. It was just right for that time, but it’s over.”
“But you love him.”
“It doesn’t matter. We don’t work in real time,” Buffy answered borrowing Spike’s words. “I’m sorry Will, for lying to you. I was just so scared that if you knew you would think less of me.”
Willow got up from her bed, and sat next to Buffy. She wrapped her arms around her. “Never.”
“I just wanted to forget because it hurts so much,” Buffy cried.
Buffy had thought she used every last one of her tears earlier talking to her mother, but now they came pouring out again as Willow held her. Willow didn’t say anything. She just held Buffy as she cried.