Secrets and Lies: Part 1
Buffy stretched her arms above her head as she slowly awoke. She reached over, and grasped at the emptiness beside her. When she felt nothing, Buffy opened her eyes and groaned. It was the first time in two months that Buffy had woken up without Spike beside her.
Almost immediately she felt cold, and pulled the blanket tighter around her body. Even though Spike’s body was cold, it always warmed her.
~~~
Spike was trying to extract himself from the sleeping slayer, but failing miserably. They had never made it out of the living room that night. After clawing at each for hours, they had collapsed into an exhausted sleep on the floor. Now, as sunrise loomed ominously close, Spike was trying to move out from under the slayer without waking her.
First, Spike tried lifting her up, but from his position flat on his back with the slayer’s entire body on top of him, so that was out of the question. He tried sliding out from under her, but when he moved she tightened her arms around his shoulders. Finally, Spike put his arms around her, and gently rolled them both onto their sides. Buffy whimpered slightly, and threw her leg onto his hip.
Spike cursed silently in his head. Tempted to just shove her away from him, so he could find shelter in time, Spike resisted the urge when he caught a glimpse of her peaceful face. The small smile on her sleeping lips made Spike smile. Call it male ego, but Spike reveled in the fact that it was him that made her smile.
Not wanting to ruin last night by talking about it in the morning, Spike ran his hand down her bare thigh, and gently pushed at her knee. On reflex, Buffy withdrew her leg, and Spike quickly scrambled to his feet.
Buffy stirred slightly in her sleep as she felt a rush of cold flood over her body. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she began to drift out of her sleep. The first thing she realized was that she was alone on the floor. She lifted her head slightly searching the room. She saw Spike by the couch frantically putting on his pants.
“Spike,” Buffy called out with a hint of nervous fear in her voice.
Spike didn’t look at her. Instead he grabbed his shirt from behind the couch, and yanked it over his head. “Go back to sleep, luv,” he ordered as his eyes scanned the room being careful to avoid her eyes.
Spike didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to see the Buffy from last night gone, and replaced with the Buffy he hated. Spike found one of his shoes in the hallway, and the other under the coffee table. Next time, he told himself, he would be sure to undress in a more orderly manner. It would make a quick get away easier.
“Where are you going?” Buffy asked rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
Spike stood in the middle of the living room still scanning the room trying to locate his socks. Still avoiding looking at her, he replied, “It’s almost sunrise. I have to get shelter. Have you seen my socks?”
Buffy groaned as she opened her eyes completely. “Ones on the lamp shade,” she laughed.
Spike snatched the sock from the lamp, and luckily found the other one nearby. The smell of the sunrise was becoming stronger, and Spike was scared he wouldn’t make it to a crypt in time. Spike sat on the couch, and hurriedly put on his shoes, and socks.
“Spike?” Buffy called out again trying to get him to look at her.
It was more of a question than simply trying to get his attention. Buffy couldn’t help thinking that he was running away from her, from last night. She could take him never coming back, but she needed to know that he didn’t think it was a mistake, because it had been the most liberating night of her life.
Spike finished putting on his shoes, and finally looked over at Buffy, who was laying naked in the middle of the floor her arms tightly wrapped around her body. Spike could hear the uncertainty, and the pleading in her voice. She wanted reassurance, and that made Spike want to reassure her. She hadn’t woken up hating herself. She had woken up scared that Spike hated her.
Spike grabbed a blanket off the couch, and kneeled next to her. He wrapped the blanket around her shivering body, and kissed her forehead.
“I’ll be back tonight,” Spike promised.
Buffy smiled up at him, and rested her hand briefly on his cheek. Spike abruptly stood back up before she could suck him in with her eyes. He had to get out of there, and think. He grabbed his duster off the floor, and headed for the door.
When Buffy heard the front door click shut, she closed her eyes again. She pulled the blanket tighter around her body, and smiled.