Chapter 11
Spike found Buffy rather easily. He couldn’t smell her track anymore, which frustrated him intensely, but he soon found that if he didn’t think about it he would naturally walk in her direction. He once again chalked it up to the whole soul claim thing, which he decided with a shrug, could have its uses. He’d walked quickly, unnerved by the graphic imagery of the dream. He needed to see that she was safe.
He’d dreamt of her death before, that hadn’t been new either and yet he knew this was different. This hadn’t been the memory of his failure or his mind creating new situations in which he yet again failed to protect her. Though, those too had often left him shaking. It was, he acknowledged, no doubt for the best that she had no idea how frequently he had crept into her yard and watched her walk by the windows just to assure himself that she was safe or about the many nights he had stood sentry by that tree in her yard. It wasn’t that he didn’t think she could take care of herself; he knew she was a warrior and he respected it. It wasn’t really about her at all. He could admit it to himself when he was feeling honest; protecting her was something he needed to do. He needed it, period.
Once he’d found her, he kept his distance. She was alone, walking the cemetery and clearly trying to look vulnerable. He almost laughed. She did that intentionally, he knew, to try and draw out the baddies when she was looking for a fight. It probably worked too, he thought, though her acting was never going to get an award.
He followed her for a while and could tell she was getting bored. She’ll give up soon, he thought; she’ll come home and try to pretend that she hadn’t spent the past hour trying to dig up a fight in a dead cemetery. He’d seen her do this all before. It hurt more now that he was the one she was trying to fool. It hurt knowing that she felt the need to try and it hurt knowing that she still thought she could. He knew her too well. For the millionth time he thought that if only she could see that; that if only she knew how wholly he knew and loved her that she might just love him too.
He saw it before she did. Or not so much saw it as sensed it. He’d climbed a tree so that he could watch over the whole place without her hearing him follow and was silently observing her wanderings when something made him look over his shoulder. It wasn’t a noise, it was more a pull, he realized while sizing the man up. He couldn’t have explained why he knew it was a vampire, he didn’t recognize him or smell him and the man wasn’t dressed in any way that advertised his undead status. Yet, Spike was sure. He glanced quickly back towards Buffy and was about to shout over to her when she froze and turned slowly towards the man. She knew too, he realized; slayers often have some ability to sense vampires when they are near. He fought back the urge to go over and help. She didn’t need it. Buffy had quickly edged towards the vampire and had taken him by surprise. Spike watched as she clearly allowed several opportunities to stake him pass by. She was taking her time, he knew, though he suspected she wouldn’t admit it. She needed the release the fight brought her. He understood in a way few others could.
He dropped down from the tree and walked over while she was still distracted. By the time she finally dusted the vamp, he was only a few feet away. “Feeling better now pet?”
Buffy turned quickly and looked up, surprised. “Spike, what are you…it’s not…you shouldn’t…”
He cut her off with an arched brow. “Not really plannin’ on lecturing me ‘bout all the nasties that prowl at night are you luv?”
Buffy blushed and looked away. He still had the ability to make her feel like a child at times. Which, she supposed, wasn’t all that surprising given that he was well over a hundred years her senior. Really, she thought, it was more surprising that it wasn’t the case all the time. It had been with Angel. She’d grown frustrated with his condescension repeatedly. With Spike though she generally felt like they were the same age, like they were both still trying to get a handle on the same stuff. Well maybe different stuff, she corrected, but the same level stuff. Great, she thought, I can’t even explain my feelings to myself. She mumbled. “It’s not the same now.”
He sighed. “Do you think I don’t know that?”
He sounded more weary than angry, so she relaxed a touch. “I know you want to help, but…” She trailed off not wanting to say the words.
“Yeah, pet, I get it. Just human. But, for the record, I‘d rather watch from the sidelines then wake up alone. Just a thing I got. Man goes to sleep with a pretty girl in his bed; he likes to think she’ll stick around ‘till he wakes up.” He gave a wry smile and a shrug.
She blushed again. “Sorry. I just…”
“You were just feeling all restless and frustrated and needed a fight. I get it pet; wouldn’t mind a good brawl myself right now.”
“Spike…” She began.
“You ready to head back or you wanna try and find another?”
Buffy shook her head. “Pretty sure this is a vamp-free zone now.”
“Never been a particularly active part of town.” He shrugged.
“Oh.”
“I can point out a few spots worth checking.”
“Maybe tomorrow?”
“Sure pet.”