Chapter 17: The Eye of the Beholder
Buffy slowly opened her eyes. She started to move when she felt a warm hand on her. Memories from last night flooded her mind. She remembered Xander holding her arm tightly as he lead her down the isle. She remembered the kiss she and Spike shared, soft and silky, lips meeting lips. Buffy closed her eyes, seeing the reception, full of laughter and happiness. Spike as he held her close to his body carrying her into the cottage. Buffy also remembered teetering on the edge of the bed before sleep finally caught her. Sometime during the night both occupants had moved towards the center of the bed. She was wrapped in a tight cocoon in his arms. ‘That’s fine,’ she thought. ‘What I am not so sure about is his hand.’ One arm was under her head, the other had tucked itself inside her silk top. Regreating the desion to keep the silky neglee on instead of asking Spike for a t-shirt, Buffy began to slowly move. With a soft snore Spike moved with her. So did his hand. ‘Crap!’ Buffy thought. His warm fingers had travled into the boxers she wore and slipped, slightly grazing the skin under her panties. ‘Now what?’ Trying to ignore the trembling of her body as he began to tenderly stroke the skin below her underwear. With a quiet sigh Buffy let the sensation fill her as Spike’s hand caressed her skin. ‘Is he still asleep? IS HE SLEEPING?!’ her mind screamed.
Spike moved again as he began to nuzzle her neck. His breath tickled her ear as he moaned a quiet “Buffy.” He pulled Buffy under him. She could feel him hard above her. Lips met as a slow gyration took over their bodies. Abruptly Spike woke. He was pleasantly surprised to find Buffy beneath him. His eyes nearly crossed as she pushed her pelvis to his. “Buffy.” Moving his hand so it rested at the edge of her nightgown, he pulled back a little and looked into her eyes.
He saw.
He saw.
He saw confusion. Frustration laced his body as he pulled away from her. “I can’t do this.” With that he left the bed, left the room, and he grabbed his bag as he left the cottage.
Tears flowed down her face and onto her neck as she threw an arm over her face. “What am I doing?”
“What am I doing?” Spike paced to the edge of the porch. He pulled open his bag and began his search. With a triumphant yell, he pulled out an unopened pack of smokes. Ripping off the wrapper, he tore into the pack. A sad grin found his face as he released he didn’t have a lighter. “Damn.” Spike grabbed a pair of pants from the bag and put them on.
“What are you doing out here?”
Spike looked up at the voice. “Da, I am not in the mood. I just made a jackass out of myself and I really don’t need a little father-son chat to make me feel worse.” Spike sat down on the floor.
“Alright, but how about breakfast?” Spike noticed the bag in Rupert’s hand.
“No, why don’t you try Buffy?”
“Go in, make sure she is dressed.” Rupert stared his son down. With an annoyed sigh Spike stood up. He didn’t look at his father as he knocked on the door.
“Pet? You decent?” When he heard the answer he nodded to Rupert.
Rupert Giles carefully opened the door to the cottage. Buffy was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. “Troubles already?”
Buffy looked up, startled at the sight of her father in law. “Mr. Giles, I..”
Rupert held his hand up. “Please call me Rupert. We are family now.”
Smiling lightly, Buffy started again. “Rupert, I wanted to tell you thank you for letting us use your cottage for our honeymoon.”
“Yes, since you and my son seem to be enjoying your time here so very much.” Rupert said with a small grin. He laid the bag on the table and motioned for Buffy to join him. Rupert began to pull several muffins and pieces of fruit from the bag. “Now, what has my son done to bring tears to your eyes?” Uncertain of what to say, Buffy picked up a muffin and bit into it. Understanding her reluctance, Rupert began again. “I meant what I said before. This will all work out in the end.” She looked up from the muffin. “William has always been difficult to understand. Don’t worry if you don’t figure him out in a few days. Talk to him, tell him what you are feeling. And if that doesn’t help, come up to the main house and tell us. Joyce is sure to knock some sense into him.” With a grin Rupert went on his way.
Spike watched as his father retreated to the main house. He was very happy his mother hadn’t brought breakfast. Joyce would have tried to interfere and probably made things worse. How, Spike didn’t know. He picked up his bag and went back inside. Finding Buffy at the table, Spike sat his bag down and joined her. “I am sorry.”
“For what?” Buffy asked coolly as she continued picking at her muffin.
“For what, she asks.” Spike said aloud. Throwing his hands in the air. “I was asleep, I didn’t mean to.. I didn’t mean..”
“It was my fault too, we never talked about the…” Buffy blushed as she found her words, “…about the other aspects of ourmarriage…the sex…” she paused to gauge his reaction. Buffy was confused, Spike’s response seemed so nonchalant… or was that a flicker of something in his eyes?… before she would let herself contemplate what that could mean Buffy continued, “I think now would be a good time to set up rules…. i mean we never really thought beyond the wedding and – ” Breathing deeply, and ignoring the voice in her head that told her she would regret saying this, Buffy continued, “I’m not sure that our having sex would be benificial to this agreement… I just think that it will only end up causing problems and so we shouldn’t even…” her sentence trailed off.
“OK.” Spike caught her chin and pulled her face so he could look into her eyes, he was struck by her expression, ‘was it disappointment?’, and rather than reassure her that he would keep his hands to his side of the bed he found himself telling her that it was only fair to agree that neither of them would sleep with anyone else until the end of the agreement. ‘what am i doing?’ Spike thought, but as he watched Buffy’s eyes light up at his promise he knew exactly what he was doing.