Chapter 40
“…Happiness to me is wine ,/ Effervescent, superfine./Full of tang and fiery pleasure,/Far too hot to leave me leisure/For a single thought beyond it./Drunk! Forgetful! This the bond: it/Means to give one’s soul to gain/Life’s quintessence. Even pain/Pricks to the livelier living, then/Wakes the nerves to laugh again,/Rapture’s self is three parts sorrow./Although we must die to-morrow,/Losing every thought but this;/Torn, triumphant, drowned in bliss./Happiness: We rarely feel it./I would buy it, beg it, steal it,/Pay in coins of dripping blood/For this one transcendent good.” ~Amy Lowell, “Happiness”
Spike was awake a couple of hours later, slipping out of bed as quietly as possible to avoid waking Buffy. He needed more blood of the human variety in order to be in any condition to fight, and the Slayer was going to need something to eat when she woke up. Even though Spike was a little fuzzy on the details, he knew that much.
This wasn’t the first time he’d had to administer first aid to a bite victim.
He was certainly feeling better, though. The pain was gone, as well as most of the trembling. It would be a few days before he was completely recovered, but he’d be capable of holding his own when they faced down the Mayor.
The first stop was the hospital to nick some blood. It wasn’t the first time Spike had stolen fresh blood rather than finding someone who would set aside the older stuff for him. He moved quickly and quietly, careful to be sure that he didn’t stay in one place for too long. The advantage of going at this time of the morning was that the night shift was starting to leave and the day shift was just coming on.
Spike waited until the nurse’s attention was on the novel she was reading before he slipped into the fridge where they kept the blood. He pocketed three bags and slipped out again, just as noiselessly, walking briskly towards the front door.
“You!”
The vampire kept walking, thinking that perhaps someone had seen him taking the blood. If he could make it to his car, he could make a quick getaway.
“Stop!”
Spike risked a look over his shoulder to see the Mayor, who looked absolutely livid. He kept walking, not wanting to risk a confrontation. As he reached the exit, the Mayor shouted after him. “She’ll pay for this! She is going to die a slow death, and I’m going to make sure you’re there to see it! You will suffer!”
Spike believed that he meant it.
~~~~~
Buffy heard Spike’s voice above her head somewhere, sounding vaguely annoyed. “Look, we’ll be there soon as we can…I know. Of course I know…Told you she’ll be fine.” He was quiet then, and Buffy opened her eyes slowly.
Spike stood by his window, facing the drawn curtains, his head down and shoulders hunched. She put a hand up to touch the bandage on her neck, realizing that while the wound stung slightly it didn’t hurt much. Buffy knew that he’d been as careful as he could be under the circumstances.
She must have made enough noise for Spike to catch it with his sharp hearing. He turned to look at her. “Morning, luv.”
“Good morning.” Buffy glanced around. “What time is it?”
“Just past six,” Spike replied. “It’s early yet.”
“Who was that on the phone?”
“Rupert.” Spike wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I had to tell him what happened.”
“I wanted this, Spike,” Buffy reiterated. “I haven’t changed my mind.”
Spike sighed. “I never wanted to hurt you, Buffy.”
She sat up slowly. “Are you—is it going to cause a problem?”
“No. I haven’t—it’s not like I haven’t had human blood recently,” Spike replied. “I’ve got more control than most would have.”
“I know you do.”
“How are you?”
“I feel like I could sleep for a week,” she admitted. “You?”
“The same.” Spike gave her a rueful smile. “Probably be a few days before I’m in tip-top shape again.”
Buffy stood, testing out her legs. They were steady enough. “Well, I’ll be fine just as soon as I get some juice and cookies.” At Spike’s inquisitive look, she explained. “That’s what they always give you after you donate blood.”
“Don’t have cookies, but I’ve got juice,” Spike admitted. “Got some other stuff too. I’ll make you a decent breakfast, and then we’re supposed to meet the Watcher at the school.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows. “You got food? When did you do that?”
“Before the sun came up, while you were still sleeping,” Spike replied. “Knew I’d have to fill you up with something before we faced the Mayor later on.” He didn’t tell her about going to the hospital, not wanting to explain why he was there. Maybe he would tell her later if it seemed important.
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him in retaliation for his half-hearted innuendo. “You’re a pig, Spike.”
He smiled, knowing that if Buffy was joking with him she was going to be okay. “Let’s get you fed, then.”
Buffy followed him out to the kitchen, noting that he still seemed a little shaky. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Spike shook his head. “Honestly? It’s been a century since I’ve felt that helpless, and I didn’t like it.” His eyes flashed blue fire. “I never want to be in a position where I have to make a choice between your life and mine.”
“That wasn’t your choice,” Buffy replied. “I didn’t have to die, and neither did you. See? Everybody wins.”
“Until Rupert stakes me,” Spike mumbled.
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Giles will not stake you, not when he sees that I’m fine. Everyone agreed that we needed you still, even Wesley.”
“I don’t want to do that again, Buffy,” Spike said quietly. “I don’t want—”
There was something in his tone that clued Buffy in to the fact that this wasn’t just about last night. This was also about Spike’s past rearing its ugly head again. “Faith won’t be shooting any more poisoned arrows,” she said. “So I don’t think we have to worry about it.”
Buffy frowned, remembering snippets of her dream. Faith had been there, but she couldn’t remember much more than that.
Well, she remembered how they might be able to stop the Mayor.
“What happened between you two?”
Buffy described their fight in as few words as possible. As far as she knew, Faith was dead or dying. She was certainly out of commission for the Ascension. Spike seemed to feel the same way. “You’d have had to deal with her one way or another,” he said philosophically. “Might as have been last night as today. We got a plan for the battle?”
Buffy nodded slowly. “I think so. I want to wait until everyone is together, though.” She started scarfing her breakfast. “I don’t think we have time for me to explain what I want to do twice.”
~~~~~
When Giles saw the pair walk into the library, he was slightly mollified by Buffy’s apparent good health and the deep circles under Spike’s eyes. Perhaps the vampire had taken enough to survive, but no more than that. He did notice that Spike wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“Where are the others, Giles?” Buffy asked.
“I called them,” he replied. “They should be on their way shortly. I sent Xander and Wesley home to get some rest.”
Buffy nodded. “Good. That’s good.”
“Can I talk to you, Spike?”
The Slayer sensed danger. “Giles, I don’t—”
“It’s okay, pet,” Spike said softly. “He’s got the right.” He followed the Watcher back to his office, not taking a seat until Giles offered it to him.
Giles regarded him steadily, finally asking, “Will you be alright?”
“I’ve fought under worse conditions,” Spike replied. “I’ll be fine. I’m not the important one.”
“Buffy would probably disagree with you,” Giles admitted. He wanted to be furious, but he couldn’t, not when Spike looked so unhappy with the situation. Not when the vampire was so obviously ashamed of himself. “I imagine that’s probably why you’re sitting there.”
Spike glanced up. “I never would have done it, Rupert, given the choice. I just—”
“Yes, well, we both know how stubborn Buffy can be,” Giles finally said. “Why don’t we leave it at that?”
Spike gave him a relieved nod. “Ta.”
“Buffy’s attack on Faith made it on the radio this morning,” Giles said. “Apparently they brought a girl into the hospital late last night who matches her description.”
Spike frowned. “That right? She going to recover?”
“She’s in a coma at the moment. They’re still listing her condition as critical.” Giles pulled off his glassed, reaching for his handkerchief. “What are you thinking?”
Spike didn’t reply right away. ” Dunno . Just seems like we might be able to use that somehow.” He was thinking about the Mayor’s rage. The man had been angrier than he would have thought reasonable for someone who had just lost his paid assassin. Now, if he’d lost his daughter…
Giles polished his lenses slowly, the habitual motion helping him think. “We’ll have to see what Buffy has to say,” he decided. “Perhaps there’s something there that we can use for leverage.”
“We’ll need something.” Spike’s face was lined and grim. “We’ll need everything we can get.”
~~~~~
“I know it’s crazy,” Buffy said. “But what do you guys think?”
Willow grimaced. “Well, crazy is such a strong word.”
“Let’s not rule it out,” Giles cautioned.
“You don’t think it can be done?” the Slayer asked.
“I didn’t say that,” he hedged.
“Personally, I think it would be impossible to come up with a crazier plan,” Cordelia said.
Oz lifted an eyebrow. “We attack the Mayor with hummus.”
Cordelia looked down. “I stand corrected.”
“It’s insanity.” Spike’s voice cut across the others’. He’d kept mostly to the shadows, and there wasn’t a person in the room who hadn’t noticed that Spike was looking more like a corpse than he normally did. “You’re talking about taking a bunch of school kids and turning them into soldiers in a few hours’ time.”
Buffy noticeably deflated. “Spike—”
“That’s why it’s brilliant.” He tilted his head, giving her a wry smile. “The Mayor won’t be expecting it, and what he can’t anticipate, he can’t plan for.”
Giles nodded slowly in agreement. “That’s true.”
Buffy took a deep breath. “So is everyone with me?” As she got nods from everyone, Buffy looked over at Xander. “I’m going to need that military expertise, Xander. Do you still remember any of that?”
“Uh, hello?” he asked, pointing at her. “Rocket launcher?”
“Right. I want you and Spike to work together. Between the two of you, come up with a plan for dealing with the troops.” She glanced at the vampire. “You up for it?”
“Anything you need,” he replied. “Although I might be a little challenged by the sunlight.”
Wesley spoke for the first time. “It won’t be a problem. From what we’ve determined, the sun will be completely blocked out.”
Giles shook his head. “Buffy, this is all dependent on your ability to control the Mayor. That’s rather a large order.”
Buffy shook her head. “Faith told me to play on his human weakness.”
“His human weakness?” Giles asked.
“When was that?” Willow asked. “Before you guys fought?”
“After,” Buffy explained shortly. She shook her head. “That’s all I know. I thought—”
“Faith.”
All eyes turned to Spike. “What?” Buffy asked.
“Faith is his weakness,” Spike said. “I went by the hospital this morning, and he was there.”
Buffy frowned. “I thought you said you went to the store this morning.”
“I did,” Spike replied. “You’re not the only one who needed breakfast.”
Buffy decided to let that slide. “So the Mayor wasn’t happy about Faith, huh?”
“Try enraged,” Spike suggested.
Buffy nodded. “I can use that.”
“What about the rest of us?” Wesley asked. He’d been quiet and uncharacteristically subdued.
The Slayer nodded. “Oh, I’ve got jobs for everyone.”
~~~~~
Mayor Wilkins had made an honest effort to put Faith out of his mind, but it wasn’t working. Even though he was walking his troops through the plans for later in the day, Faith’s broken body still occupied a significant corner of his mind.
He had wanted to protect her.
The Mayor hadn’t loved many people in his life. You didn’t get very far by having warm and fuzzy feelings for people in general. It made it too hard to do what needed to be done when, say, a ritual called for human sacrifice.
Faith, on the other hand, had been special. Bright, and vibrant, and so full of life. Under his tender care, she would have blossomed. He would have made certain of it.
Now, however, all he had left was the fragile hope that she would mend, and the sweet smell of revenge.
“You’ll come up through the sewers,” he said, pointing at the city plans. “I want containment. No one gets away. It’s crucial that I feed in the first few minutes to sustain the change.” He shook his finger at them. “No feeding. If I see blood on your lips, there’s going to be hell to pay.”
There was a pause as Mayor Wilkins waited for all of them to nod. “Oh, and one other thing.” He made sure he had their attention. “The Slayer—I want her alive. That vampire, too. I want them both alive. The person who brings them to me will be rewarded.” His eyes glittered. “Highly rewarded.”
~~~~~
What you could do with information from a couple books and supplies from the hardware store was amazing and not a little scary. In a couple of hours, Willow knew that she and Oz would manage to build a bomb big enough to blow up the school, and hopefully the big snake the Mayor was planning on turning into.
It was probably a really good thing she didn’t have any plans for world domination.
“Do you think Buffy’s going to be okay?” Willow asked as Oz scribbled down their shopping list.
He glanced up at her. “What?”
“Spike bit her, and she just seems—I don’t know.” Willow made a face. “Spike just seems a little off today.”
Oz paused in his writing long enough to consider it. “I get it,” he said after a moment.
Willow waited for him to explain, and when he didn’t right away, she asked, “You get what?”
“You try to keep the demon inside locked down.” Oz was suddenly completely serious, which surprised Willow . He had been cracking jokes for the last two days. It was his way of panicking, and suddenly he was serious. She knew that it wasn’t just Spike he was referring to, that Oz was talking about himself as well. “It gets out, though, and the people you never wanted to see that part of you suddenly get front row seats.”
Willow frowned. “But we know, Oz. We know that Spike’s a vampire.”
Oz shook his head. “It’s different.” When it looked like Willow was going to protest again, he laid his hand over hers. “Trust me. It is.”
“Of course I trust you.” Willow looked down at the shopping list. “We’d better get to that.”
“I’ll take care of it,” he replied. “You start rounding people up.”
Willow smiled at him. “Sure thing. I’ll see you later?”
“Count on it.”
~~~~~
“Heard what you did.”
Wesley nearly jumped out of his skin. He’d been a little too uncomfortable to pack books with Cordelia after their disastrous kiss and had moved to a different section. He had, in fact, been wallowing in self-pity, which was why he didn’t hear Spike coming.
Spike chuckled. He still enjoyed winding the Watcher up. “Alright there, Wesley?”
“I’m fine,” Wesley squeaked, then cleared his throat. “What were you saying?”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “I heard you went to bat for me with the Council.”
Wesley shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable. “I didn’t do that much. I simply let them know that it wasn’t a good idea to disagree with the Slayer when she had her mind set on something.”
“That’s still something,” Spike responded. “I won’t forget it.”
Wesley blinked. Spike’s statement sounded more like a threat than a promise. “Um, okay?”
Spike chuckled again and clapped the Watcher on the arm. “Told you I’d keep you alive long enough to get that stick out of your arse , didn’t I? Figure we’re about halfway there.”
“I, uh, believe I’m going back to England after this,” Wesley replied. “Although I do appreciate the offer.”
Spike snorted, then gave Wesley a rather cynical look. “You let me know how that works out for you.”
The vampire walked away, and Wesley couldn’t help but think that he knew the truth. The truth was that if the Council fired him as they’d threatened to do, he’d have enough in his savings to fly back to England , but no more than that. There was no one there who would offer him a place to stay; his parents certainly wouldn’t, and he hadn’t kept in touch with school friends.
Wesley told people he was going back to England because he wasn’t sure what other lie to tell, and he was still hopeful that this would all work out. Perhaps if Buffy managed to stop the Ascension, the Council would see that the Slayer hadn’t made a mistake, and neither had he.
He never claimed that it wasn’t a foolish hope.
~~~~~
Buffy stared down at the knife. It was a beautiful weapon, in a really scary way. The craftsmanship spoke of a person who probably liked knives just a little too much, while the dried blood pointed to the fact that it had been used.
She had used it.
Buffy wondered if she and Spike were going to be okay. He hadn’t been happy about her asking him to drink, but he hadn’t been able to say no either. She didn’t regret it for a moment. Buffy knew how badly she needed him, and not just for this battle.
“Here.” A brown paper sack hit the desk. “You need to eat.”
Buffy glanced up to see Spike. He dropped down into the chair next to the desk. “Spike, I don’t have time.”
“Yes, you do. You’ve got an hour, which is more than enough time.” His expression was impossible to read. “You’ll need your strength for what you’re planning.”
“What about you?” Buffy objected. “You’ve got a key role, mister.”
Spike pointed to the bag. “Talk and eat,” he ordered. “And that trip to the hospital should keep me for a while. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll worry about you if I want,” she retorted, taking a big bite out of the sandwich. She wasn’t sure what was on it, but it was good. “Talk to me?”
Spike watched her eat, waiting to respond until he was sure she was going to manage to get at least half the sandwich down her. Someone had to look out for the girl; everyone else was too busy, and he was all-too-aware that she’d lost a bit of blood. “About what?”
“You know about what.” Anger and fear warred within her, and fear won out. There was no way Buffy was leaving things like this before they faced the Mayor. If something happened to one of them—
Spike seemed to read her like a book, as usual. “We’re okay, Buffy,” he assured her. “Told you that earlier. I’m not going to do a runner on you.”
“Then can you tell me why I’m getting that vibe? Because you’re very vibe-y.”
“Bad memories, is all,” Spike said.
“From Angel?”
“Angelus,” he corrected her. “And, yeah. I’m a selfish bastard, Buffy. This wasn’t the first time I chose to save my own hide over saving someone else.”
Buffy gave him an exasperated sigh. “How many times do I have to say it? There was no expense! I’m fine, you’re fine—”
“I bit you,” he said stubbornly. “You don’t do that to the girl you love.”
“In what universe?” she demanded. “If you hadn’t bit me, I would have cut my wrist and made you drink that way.”
Spike stared at her. “Buffy, you don’t—”
“Don’t you dare tell me I don’t understand!” she hissed at him. “Let me guess. Angelus made you drink from somebody.” The look on his face— a mixture of shame and surprise—told her that she was right on the mark.
Buffy could be perceptive when she wanted to be.
“So you had to drink in order to save your own life, and you feel bad,” Buffy said. “Well, I went and nearly gutted Faith to save you, so don’t think that I’m not willing to go all the way to make sure you’re okay. I would have dragged her body back and made sure you drained every drop, so don’t tell me I don’t know about morally ambiguous choices.”
“Big word, pet,” Spike said, a smile beginning to tease the corners of his lips.
She smacked him on the arm. “Stop that.”
“As you wish.” When it looked like Buffy might punch him in the nose, Spike grabbed her hand. “Give me some time, Buffy. I’ve looked after myself for nearly a century. Having someone concerned for my welfare—it’s going to take some getting used to.”
Buffy mock-scowled at him. “Well, get used to it.”
“Yes, General.”
Their eyes met and locked, and then as one they turned to look at the clock. “I wish we had more time,” Buffy whispered. She needed to be out there, making sure everything was a go. Spike needed to get into place.
There was no more time.
“I’ll see you later,” Spike said firmly, as though he didn’t have a doubt that they would be just fine.
Buffy managed a smile for him. “Absolutely.”
They wouldn’t allow themselves to contemplate doing anything else.