[nextpage title=”Chapter 34″ ]
Chapter 34
“Peace flows into me/As the tide to the pool by the shore ;/ It is mine forevermore,/It ebbs not back like the sea./I am the pool of blue/That worships the vivid sky;/My hopes were heaven-high,/They are all fulfilled in you./I am the pool of gold/When sunset burns and dies,—/You are my deepening skies,/Give me your stars to hold.” ~Sara Teasdale, “Peace”
“Hello, Spike,” Joyce said, looking up as the vampire poked his head in the back door. “Come in.”
Spike had seen the light in the kitchen window and come around back. “Buffy here?”
“No, she went to the library to talk to Giles, I believe,” Joyce replied. “She said it was important.”
Spike hesitated, torn between staying and trying to find the Slayer. Buffy must have left her bracelet at home, because his compass had pointed him in the direction of her house and not the school. “Why don’t you have a seat?” Joyce asked. “I’m sure she’ll be back in a little while. Were you going to meet her?”
He shrugged. “We hadn’t really talked about it.” What Spike didn’t say was that Buffy had been distant the last few days, enough to throw him off balance. “How are you?”
“Good.” Joyce started gathering what she needed to make hot chocolate.
“You and Rupert?”
“We’re fine.”
“Still a couple then?”
Joyce hesitated then sighed. “We are. It’s not easy, of course, but nothing worth doing ever is.”
A comfortable silence fell. Although neither one of them would have been able to completely define their relationship, they were friends at this point—as willing to simply be quiet together as they were to converse.
“Can I ask you for a favor?”
Spike knew that tone of voice. It was the same one that Buffy used right before she asked him to do something he didn’t want to do. “You can ask,” he allowed.
“Buffy got accepted into Northwestern.” Spike remained silent, not letting on that he already knew. “It’s a good school, Spike, but more importantly it’s not here in Sunnydale. I think she feels like she can’t go.”
“I see.” Spike leaned back slightly, watching her carefully, trying to decide what he might tell her. “What would you like me to do about that, Joyce?”
“Talk to her.” There was an edge of desperation in her voice. “Tell her that you’ll stay and take care of things here.”
Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath. “Do you have a problem with us being together?” he asked evenly. “I didn’t think you did, but—”
“You’re her best hope for leaving this behind, Spike,” Joyce said. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I understand that you love her, but—”
“If I love her, I’d want what’s best for her.” Spike’s tone was even. He wasn’t hurt, far from it. Spike understood that Joyce wasn’t thinking about anything or anyone except Buffy. She had just witnessed her daughter nearly going insane, and Joyce wanted her baby away from this mess.
He couldn’t fault her for that.
“I already made the offer,” Spike finally said. “Buffy told me the other night that she’d been accepted. If she wants to go, I’ll stay and take care of things here, but that’s a choice she has to make.” When Joyce shook her head impatiently, Spike asked, “Have you spoken with Rupert about this?”
“No,” she replied. “I can’t. It’s—it’s hard, because all I want is to keep her safe, and his job is to throw her at danger.”
“Think you might have misinterpreted his job,” Spike said gently. “All Rupert wants is Buffy’s safety. That’s what got him fired in the first place. Wesley is a bit of a different story, but I’m working on him.”
Joyce frowned impatiently. “What else is a Watcher for?” she asked. “He finds danger and he sends a girl out to do it!”
“If the Watcher isn’t around, the girl still has a job to do.” Spike stood, taking Joyce’s hands in his own, hoping to make her see the situation just a little more objectively. It was true; Buffy needed to make a decision, and she had a choice. It was a choice only she could make, however, because it was the Slayer’s destiny she’d be trying to escape.
Fate was a difficult mistress at times.
“She’d still have all that strength, all that speed— everything she needs to be who and what she is,” Spike continued when Joyce remained silent. “The Watcher’s job is to make sure she’s got the information to do the best job she can.
“Buffy’s good,” he said, looking her in the eye and willing her to understand. “Good enough that there are a lot fewer dead now than there would have been without her. Maybe I could keep the Hellmouth under wraps just as well. Maybe it wouldn’t matter if she left, but Buffy’s the Slayer, and I can guarantee you that power is going to have to go somewhere. She’s not a regular girl. She never will be.”
Joyce blinked back tears. “Why did it have to be her?”
“Might as well ask why it had to be me,” Spike said, his tone wry. “I imagine my mum would have asked the same thing if she’d had the chance. Guess we all ask that question when it’s someone we love playing the hero. Couldn’t do without them, but we don’t want to see the ones we love in that position. It would be easier if all heroes could be strangers to us.”
She sighed, leaning her forehead on Spike’s shoulder. Not even Giles had seen the depths of her fear; she couldn’t lay that burden on him, not when Joyce knew that he carried the same heavy weight.
Letting Spike see her like this, however—it was easier. Moments like this, it was easy to believe that he was twice her age, if not more.
“I don’t want to lose her.”
“I know.” Spike swallowed hard. He understood Joyce’s terror better than she might think. “You won’t, if I can do anything about it. You have my word on that.”
~~~~~
“I want to leave, Giles.” Buffy was resolutely ignoring Wesley. Her erstwhile Watcher had nearly had an apoplexy when she told him she wanted out. “I got into Northwestern, and with Spike here, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to go.”
Giles nodded. “Congratulations, Buffy.”
“You can’t leave,” Wesley objected. “You’re the Slayer.”
“You’ve got a really good substitute here,” Buffy shot back. “Spike offered to stay and take care of things if I wanted to leave. Well, I want to leave. I’ll be back on breaks; it’s not like I’m never going to return.”
Giles took his glasses off, regarding her with a steady look. “What about Faith and the Mayor?”
“We both know that I might end up graduating posthumously,” Buffy replied. “It’s not like I’m leaving tomorrow. The Ascension will be over then. I’m going to stop it.”
“I do hope so,” Giles said.
Wesley shook his head. “You are the Slayer. You have a sacred duty, and that duty places you on the Hellmouth. Difficult as that may be, it’s just the way it is.” When Buffy glared at him, Wesley huffed. “You can’t leave. I absolutely forbid it.”
“Oh, right. That will work,” Giles muttered.
Buffy stared at him. “Wesley—”
“Perhaps if things were different,” he allowed.
“Then I’ll make them different,” Buffy declared.
“What are you talking about?” Wesley asked.
“I’m tired of the Mayor calling all the shots.” She frowned. “It’s time to be proactive, take the fight to him.”
Giles raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a plan?”
“Do I have to have a plan?” Buffy asked. “I was just thinking I’d be proactive with pep.”
Wesley was shaking his head vigorously. “I really must object. It’s too foolhardy. You’ll get yourself killed.”
Giles and Buffy both ignored him. “In order to take the fight to the Mayor, you’ll need to find out exactly what they’re up to,” he pointed out.
Buffy shrugged. “That I can do. I thought you wanted maps and stuff.”
Wesley realized that he’d lost this battle already. “Fine. You’re going to take the battle to him, but let me ask you this, Buffy.” When she looked over at him, Wesley said, “No matter where you go, you will still be the Slayer, and you will be handing your sacred duty to someone else. Are you really prepared to do that?”
Buffy didn’t reply. She looked at Giles instead and said, “I’m going to see if I can’t figure out what Faith and the Mayor are up to tonight.”
“What about Spike?” Giles asked.
“He’ll catch up.” She was gone a moment later.
“You know I’m right.” Wesley faced Giles belligerantly, daring him to disagree.
Giles turned back to the text he’d been searching for references to the Ascension. “I know nothing of the sort.”
“It’s kind of Spike to offer to take her place, but you know as well as I do that he can only do so much.”
Giles sighed and turned to face Wesley. “Buffy might be the Slayer, but it is still her decision whether or not to stay or go. If she can work out some viable alternative to her staying in Sunnydale, then I don’t see what the problem is.”
Wesley huffed. “It’s just not done. A Slayer at college!”
“Buffy does a lot that just isn’t done.” Giles went back to his text, and left Wesley to his discontented thoughts. After all, what did a Watcher do if his Slayer was away at university?
~~~~~
Spike saw Cordelia walking by herself and frowned. He was on his way to the library since Buffy hadn’t yet shown up at her place. Spike was beginning to get concerned that he’d done something to piss the Slayer off. Not only hadn’t she worn her bracelet, but she seemed to have purposely ditched him.
There was no way he was going to risk Cordelia getting eaten by something nasty, though. That didn’t seem right.
He pulled up to the curb. “You want a ride?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be mooning around after Buffy?” Cordelia asked, sounding even more snippy than usual.
Spike shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He put the car into gear.
“Wait!” Cordelia sighed. Spike really hadn’t done anything bad to her. Not that she had a problem taking out her frustration on him, but a ride would be nice. “Thanks for stopping.”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “It’s a bit lonely to be out by yourself after dark, and it’s not safe.” Teasing her, he added, “Especially not for an appealing morsel like yourself .”
Cordelia smiled in spite of herself. It felt like it had been days since she’d smiled. Her parents were still hanging onto the house, but it was only by their fingertips. She just hoped they managed to keep it until after graduation since she wasn’t sure where she’d go otherwise. “You’d better not let your girlfriend catch you talking like that.”
“Man doesn’t go blind just because he’s dating somebody.” Spike turned into one of the classier neighborhoods. “How’ve you been, pet?”
Cordelia resolutely reined in her emotions. “Me? I’m great.”
Spike could hear the brittleness that infused her voice, but he wasn’t going to push it. Girls like Cordelia didn’t react well to being pushed. “Good to hear.”
She leaned back into the passenger seat of Spike’s car. Of course, she hadn’t asked anyone for a ride. How could she when she was supposed to have a car of her own?
Maybe she was the queen of gossip, but Cordelia knew how to keep her mouth shut, aware of how everyone would react when they found out that the IRS was coming after her parents for tax evasion.
Spike followed her directions and pulled up in front of a large house with a “For Sale” sign in the yard. ” You planning on moving?”
Cordelia looked up to see the sign. It hadn’t been there when she left in the morning. “Yeah. My parents are looking for a different house. Bigger, you know.”
Spike didn’t buy it for a minute, and he made a mental note to look out for the chit. Cordelia might be a tactless bitch, but she had guts. Spike admired that in a girl. “Good luck on that.”
“Thanks for the ride.” Cordelia got out and shut the door behind her, leaning down to look through the window. “Spike?”
“Yeah, pet?”
“Don’t say anything about the house, okay? It’s not a big deal, but—”
“You got it.” He smiled at her. “My lips are sealed.”
Cordelia nodded, realizing that he knew she wasn’t telling him everything and appreciating the fact that he wasn’t pushing it. “Thanks.”
Spike watched as she walked up to the front door, waiting to be sure she made it inside before pulling away. He could smell the fear in the girl, which was what made her poker face all the more impressive.
He sighed. It seemed as though he wasn’t going to be through keeping secrets for people anytime soon.
~~~~~
“Spike. There you are.”
“You call, I come,” Spike said, looking around the library. “Where’s Buffy?”
“She’s getting some things together,” Giles replied. “We’re going into City Hall tonight to retrieve the box, and—”
Spike held up a hand, cutting off the Watcher in mid-sentence. “We’re doing what ?”
Giles straightened from the map he was reading. “Buffy didn’t tell you?”
“I haven’t talked to Buffy since she got that demon blood out of her system,” Spike said, beginning to sound rather put out. “I’m beginning to think that she’s avoiding me. What’s going on?”
Giles frowned, put down his pen, and gave Spike his full attention. “Buffy didn’t talk to you about this? She wants to take the fight to the Mayor’s turf. I thought—she said she wanted to find a way to leave Sunnydale.”
Hurt flashed across Spike’s features before he managed to clamp down on his emotions. “Right. Because I offered to stick around. That’s good, yeah? She should have a chance to get out of this place.”
“Hey, Spike!” Willow entered the library with Xander close on her heels. “I’m glad you could come.”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said, his voice tight.
Buffy entered with Wesley, both of them arguing over the plan. “There are too many risks.”
“Risk is part of the business,” Buffy replied. “Get used to it, Wes.” She froze when she saw Spike. “Hey.”
“‘lo.”
Willow looked from the vampire to the Slayer, sensing the sudden spike in tension. “So, do we have a plan?”
“Why don’t you fill me in, Red?” Spike suggested, not taking his eyes off of Buffy. “Seems like I’ve got a lot of catching up to do, and you’re talented at that sort of thing.”
Buffy winced as he turned on his heel. Willow glanced at her friend, and Buffy nodded, indicating that Willow should go ahead and explain what was going on. “So Spike didn’t realize you were so keen to leave town, eh?” Wesley asked in an undertone.
“None of your business, Wes,” Buffy snapped.
“I’m your Watcher, Buffy, as I’ve often had to remind you,” he shot back, keeping his voice low. “Don’t forget that Spike is an invaluable ally. Screw up your love life all you like, but if you alienate him completely you could end up dooming us all.”
Buffy stared after him, anger etched on her face. That had been a much better shot than Wesley was typically capable of producing. Apparently, he was improving. She felt a touch on her arm and saw Xander standing there. “Buffy…”
“I’m fine, Xan.”
Xander just looked at her, obviously not buying it. “Buffy, you’re not wearing your bracelet.”
He walked over to the table, and Buffy looked down at her bare wrist with a pang. She had taken it off to shower the other night, and then had forgotten to put it back on again. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but it would certainly explain why Spike hadn’t shown up anywhere she was last night.
It might also explain why he was looking so royally pissed off.
Buffy sighed. It looked like she was going to have some explaining to do.
~~~~~
The ride to City Hall probably would have been uncomfortable, but Wesley started asking Spike questions about what he knew of becoming immortal. It filled up the silence inside the confines of the vehicle admirably, but Buffy was still feeling squirmy.
Not only had she not called Spike in the last couple days, she also hadn’t worn the bracelet he gave her, nor had she told him about wanting to leave Sunnydale. In fact, when he made the offer to stay, she had been adamantly against leaving.
He probably thought she was trying to break up with him. She was a bad girlfriend.
And Spike had just killed a demon for her, too.
“You lot be careful,” Giles admonished as they climbed out of the van. “First sign of trouble—”
“We run like the wind,” Willow chirped. “Got it.”
Wesley held up his watch. “I think we ought to synchronize our watches. I have twenty-one forty-one.” He stopped when Buffy and Willow held up bare wrists. “Typical.”
“I’ve got the same time,” Spike said, hitching his bag over his shoulder so it hung more securely. “Let’s go.”
The two girls followed the vampire to the side of the building. Spike jumped, grabbing the bottom rung of the fire ladder and swinging his body until it came rattling down. “Ladies first.”
Willow started climbing. Buffy paused at the bottom. “Spike—”
“We have a job to do, Slayer.”
“But—”
“Later.”
Buffy realized that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with Spike at the moment, so she began climbing, feeling the ladder tremble slightly when Spike started up behind her. Once on the roof, they made their way over to the skylight. The vampire pulled it open, watching as Willow took a bottle of sand from Buffy.
She chanted quietly in Latin, then sprinkled what Spike could only assume was magic sand. He might have been clearer on what it was if anyone had seen fit to fill him in.
The force field around the box flared briefly and then disappeared altogether. Willow grinned. “Oh, yeah. I’m bad.”
“Gold star, Will,” Buffy murmured. “Now get going.”
“I’m gone,” she replied, heading over to the ladder.
Buffy looked at Spike. “Ready?”
“And able,” Spike said evenly. “Let’s get this done.”
Buffy buckled the harness on quickly then lowered herself through the skylight, feeling the slow give of the winch. She hung, dropping down in a slow, steady pace, like a spider on its thread. When the box was in reach, Buffy picked it up, hugging it to her chest.
Of course, then the alarm started going off.
Buffy felt a jerk on the line, but she wasn’t moving. “Spike!”
“I’m working on it!” She could hear him cursing, and then felt herself being pulled up. This time it wasn’t with the smooth assistance of the winch. Instead, she was lifted about six inches every time she moved, with a sharp jerk.
Three vampires burst through the conference room doors. “Spike! I’ve got company.”
Buffy felt him give her a huge pull, jerking her up, out of the vampires’ reach. Spike’s hand clamped down on the back of her jacket, and he yanked her through the skylight. One of the vampires immediately tried to follow, and when he jumped, his hands catching on the sill, Spike casually stomped on his fingers, crushing them under the heel of his boot.
Waiting until the vampire had dropped down, Spike slammed the skylight shut. Buffy thrust the box at him, scrambling out of her harness and over to the fire escape.
Spike dropped down from the roof, landing lightly on his feet, waiting patiently for Buffy on the ground. They moved as one person towards the idling van.
It wasn’t until Spike slid the passenger door shut that either of them noticed something was wrong. Buffy looked around the interior. “Uh, where’s Willow ?”