Avocation

Chapter 32

“The Rose is/Weeping for her love ,/ The nightingale./And he is flying/Fast above,/To her he will/Not fail./Already golden/Eve appears;/He wings his way along;/Ah! Look he comes/To kiss her tears ,/ And soothe her/With his song.” Philip James Bailey, “Helen’s Song”

Spike might have known what kind of demon she was fighting; it was hard to say. The vampire certainly had a vast knowledge of such things. Still, it was just as possible that he would have been as ignorant as Buffy.

One demon down and one more left to go, and the second ran off before Buffy could do anything about it. She sighed. Buffy had no idea where Spike was. He’d said that he had an errand to run before he could meet her. The Slayer had gotten the bright idea of doing a quick sweep so they could spend more time alone together without having to worry about a demon jumping out of the bushes.

Of course, living on the Hellmouth meant that there was no shortage of either vampires or demons. They would probably nev er come to the end of the supply.

“Such a heavy sigh, luv,” Spike teased, emerging from the darkness, just one more shadow. Buffy would nev er figure out how he managed to appear like that. If she hadn’t known better, the Sla yer would have sworn it was magic.

She managed a smile for him. “I was just wondering where you were.”

“Here, now,” he replied, holding up his keychain. Buffy saw the compass charm and her smile became a little more genuine. She was still wearing the bracelet he’d given her. “What’s up?”

“Do you want to come to the Bronze with me?” she asked hopefully. “Everyone was going, but with patrol…”

Spike looked behind her to see the dead demon on the picnic table. “Reckon he won’t be a threat. What about the second?”

Buffy frowned. “You were here the whole time, and you didn’t lend a hand?”

“Just got here,” he assured her. “Right after the second ran off and as you were killing that one.”

Buffy decided that she could let him off the hook—this time. ” Oka y. So, Bronze?”

“You going to let me say no?” he asked, although he sounded amused and resigned rather than annoyed.

Buffy belatedly realized that as a vampire who had been around for a century or more, Spike might not appreciate being dragged to what was essentially a teen hangout. “We don’t have to go,” she assured him. “We could do something else that you want to do.”

“Buffy—”

” It’s fine,” she went on, thinking that he was going to protest. “Really. I didn’t even ask what—”

“The Bronze is fine.” Spike tilted his head. “I don’t have anywhere better to be.”

She frowned. “You really don’t mind?”

“We’ll be together, yeah?” Spike asked easily. “Doesn’t much matter what we’re doing.”

She reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, but you might not even like the Bronze. I know it’s mostly teenagers there, so we could go somewhere else.”

“Let’s go to the Bronze,” Spike replied. “Oz is playing tonight, right? I don’t mind his band so much.”

They started heading off in that direction. “What kind of errand did you have to run?”

“Had to see a guy,” Spike replied vaguely. “Thought he might know a bit more about our Mayor, but he hadn’t a bloody clue. I’ve got a couple other informants, though. We’ll see what they come up with.”

“When did you get informants?” Buffy asked, disbelieving.

Spike just gave her an inscrutable look. “It’s one of the first things I do when I get to a town, especially if I’m going to be staying any length of time. Don’t always use them, but I make sure I know who has information I might want. That’s how I knew about Sla yerFest.”

Buffy was silent, wondering again about the differences in the way they did things. About the only snitch she had was Willy, and that information was spotty at best. It was hard to know whether or not he was trying to double-cross her.

She had the feeling that Spike didn’t have that problem. His informants were probably too scared of him to even contemplate a betrayal.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“Just thinking about having informants.” She was quiet for a minute. “Or not having informants. I hadn’t even thought about doing something like that.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been doing this for a living for a lot longer than you, pet.”

“I know, it’s just—” Buffy broke off. Sometimes Spike was just so hard to read. She wis hed she knew what he was thinking sometimes, and if he really was happy with her.

There were times when Buffy was certain that there was no way he could be content staying here in Sunnydale, not when he’d traveled around the world. That there was no way he could be content with her, not when he’d had his pick of women.

It certainly would have been nice to be a mind reader.

~~~~~

Xander watched the cheerleaders with a deep sense of bitterness. A few mont hs ago, he could have watched Cordelia in her short skirt with pride because she would have been his. Now he watched knowing that he had no greater claim on her than anyone else. It galle d.

What was worse was knowing that Cordelia had her eyes on Wesley, and the Watcher apparently had his eyes on her.

“Look at him,” Xander muttered, catching sight of Wesley on the stairs. He was watching the pep rally avidly, although the expression on his face was one of discomfort, not excitement. “He’s got his filthy Pierce Brosnany eyes all over her.”

Oz glanced over at him. “You’re a very complex man, aren’t you?”

Xander glared as Wesley shook his head and started climbing the stairs again. “What does she see in him?” he demanded.

Willow came over and sat back down next to Oz. “Who sees what in who ?”

“Cordelia,” Xander replied. “In Wesley. What could she possibly see in him? What does he have that I don’t?”

“An accent?” Oz ventured.

Willow made a face. “If I knew that, I’d know how Cordelia’s mind worked. And then I’d have to kill myself.”

Xander shifted, still looking rather unhappy. “It’s not fair.”

Oz decided it was time to change the subject. This wasn’t the first time that Xander had harped on the subject of Cordelia and her fascination with the Watcher. “What was up with Buffy?”

“She’s a little freaked out,” Willow replied. “Giles told her that the demon she killed could pass on an aspect of itself through contact with its blood, and she made contact.” She looked back over her shoulder in the direction Buffy had disappeared. “She’s worried about getting horns or a tail or something like that.”

“At least with a physical trait she’d still be Buffy,” Oz said. “If I was her, I’d be worried about getting something intangible.”

Willow shook her head frantically. “Please don’t say that to her. Buffy’s freaked enough as it is, and she’s already worrying about not being Buffy anymore.”

“I just don’t get it,” Xander said.

Willow frowned. “You don’t get what?”

“Why Cordelia would even like Wesley,” he said. Xander had a one-track mind at times. “No one else does.”

“I think Spike kinda likes him,” Willow replied.

Xander’s eyebrows went up. “Spike threatened to eat him.”

Willow shrugged. “I think Spike just likes to give him a hard time. Maybe it’s just because they’re both British.”

“Giles doesn’t seem to think much of him,” Oz said.

“Wesley did take Giles’ place,” Willow replied. “Well, not really, since Wesley’s not in charge, but the Council did pick Wesley to be Buffy’s Watcher.” She looked thoughtful. “Do you think Buffy will change?”

Oz took his girlfriend’s hand in his own. “Buffy’s Buffy. I don’t know that she could be anyone else.”

~~~~~

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Spike finally demanded. Buffy had been distracted and glum all evening, but she refused to talk to him about it. When she didn’t reply right away, Spike took her arm and steered her towards a nearby bus stop bench. “Spill.”

Buffy fidgeted. “You know those demons I ran into last night?”

“The ugly ones? Sure.”

“Apparently, I get to be just like them.”

Spike frowned, trying to filter out the truth from the melodrama. Confusion cleared as he remembered some of the rumors he’d heard in the past. “Aspect of the demon?”

“Yeah,” Buffy replied. “So I’m going to get horns or a tail or my mouth will disappear—”

Spike cut off her litany with a kiss. “Slow down, luv. You don’t know that.”

“Aspect of the demon, Spike!” Buffy said, an edge of hysteria in her voice. Maybe it was strange, but Spike was the one person she could freak out on. She hadn’t even let Willow see the full extent of her fear. Spike could be trusted to remain calm, however. Buffy had tested that trait enough times to know.

He shook his head. “And if it’s something you don’t want, we’ll find a way to fix it. I’ve told you, Buffy, I’ve got your back.”

“I don’t see why,” she muttered.

Spike pulled back. “Look, Buffy—”

“Forget I said that,” she quickly said. “I’m just—out of sorts tonight. After everything with Faith, and all my friends are getting to do the regular high school student thing…”

“What’s that?”

“Our basketball team made it to the championship, and everyone was going to the game tonight.” She paused. “Except for me.”

“You could have gone, luv,” Spike pointed out. “I could take patrol for the night.”

Buffy shook her head. “I’m the Sla yer, Spike. It’s my duty. Besides, if Faith caught you alone, it could be bad.”

“There’s no need to worry over me.”

“Like you don’t worry about me?” she asked.

Spike grinned at her. “Touché.” He stood. “You ready to get going?”

“I guess.” She shrugged. “Might as well get it over with.”

Buffy felt a hand on her cheek, Spike’s thumb caressing her face. ” Wis h I could make this easier on you, Buffy.”

Buffy smiled at him. “You do.”

~~~~~

Buffy had always heard that you should be careful about what you wis hed for because you just might get it. Well, now she could hear people’s thoughts, and she wasn’t sure she liked it. It had seemed pretty cool at first, especially since she actually looked smart for once in English, taking the words right out of Nancy Doyle’s mouth. Or her mind.

Her friends were obviously uncomfortable in her presence, however, and Giles was acting even more British than usual. Other than the shoe thing, Buffy had noticed that it was more difficult to read Giles’ mind than anyone else’s. She would have suspected that it had something to do with his Watcher training, except for the fact that Wesley seemed to be incapable of thinking about anything except Cordelia.

Of course, Xander obviously thought about sex all the time, so maybe Wesley was one up on him.

Buffy needed to get out of the library, but just being inside the school was overwhelming. Voices pressed on her from every side. It was like standing in a crowded room with everyone shouting at her at once.

Going to the cafeteria probably wasn’t the brightest idea she’d ever had, but Buffy needed to eat. If it got much worse, she decided she’d go home, or she’d go see Spike.

Of course, she wasn’t sure she wanted him to know she could read his mind, not knowing how everyone else had reacted to her new-found powers.

The noise inside the cafeteria seemed intensified. There were too many people, in too small a space, all of them thinking .

And then once voice broke clearly through the confusion. “This time tomorrow, I’ll kill you all.”

~~~~~

Spike knew how to manage the trip to the Summers ‘ house, even in the daytime. He’d worked it out a while ago, just in case there was an emergency, and Buffy needed him during the day. Spike had also figured out the routes between his place and the school, Giles’ apartment, Joyce’s gallery, and the homes of Buffy’s friends.

No one could say he wasn’t thorough.

Joyce had called him, sounding worried and tense. She’d told him what had happened, and then had asked him to come over. “I don’t think I can sit with her right now.”

“She already find out about you and Rupert?” Spike had asked.

“There was some yelling,” Joyce had admitted. “It’s probably not a good idea for me to be near her right now. I just can’t help thinking about—you know.”

It wasn’t funny, but Spike had fought the desire to laugh anyway. That’s what happened when you tried to hide something like this. You wound up getting yourself into trouble. “She can’t read me,” he assured her. “Probably will be more restful with me around anyway.”

So now he was here, with Rupert’s words echoing in his head. The Watcher had called to tell him what they’d found out just before he’d left his place. “You’ll have to find that demon tonight, Spike. We need its heart to reverse the effects. If we don’t do it soon—”

“Buffy will go mad,” Spike finished. He’d known a few telepaths. If they couldn’t get a handle on their abilities, they usually ended up completely barmy, or they completely isolated themselves from other people. Dru hadn’t been able to hear others’ thoughts exactly, but she’d had certain gifts in that area. Spike might have taken care of her until he got his soul, but it hadn’t been a picnic.

There was no way he was going to allow that to happen to Buffy.

Spike made a mad dash from the manhole to the front door, skidding inside as it opened. He dropped the blanket he’d carried for protection and stamped out the spot that had caught fire. “She upstairs?”

Joyce nodded. “Spike—”

He put a hand on her arm. “We’ll sort this, Joyce. Promise.” Spike took the stairs two at a time to Buffy’s room. “You alright, pet?”

She appeared tired. “I guess.” Buffy’s eyes narrowed. “Please tell me you didn’t know about Mom and Giles.”

“I didn’t know about your mum and the Watcher,” Spike replied.

Buffy stared at him. “Really?”

He shrugged. “Well, you asked me to tell you I didn’t know.”

She frowned. “I—I can’t hear you.”

“Vampire. We don’t show up on a telepath’s radar. Not sure how it works, but it’s a handy trick at times.” He sat down on the edge of her bed. “To be honest, I didn’t know, but I had my suspicions.”

“You didn’t tell me,” she accused him, sounding like a petulant child.

“You didn’t want to know,” he said gently. “Besides, it wasn’t any of my business.”

Buffy leaned back on her pillows. “Nobody wants to be around me. And everything is so loud. I can’t block it out.”

“I know, luv,” he replied.

“Giles thinks I’m going to go mad.”

“You think I’d let something like that happen?” Spike asked. “We’ll get it sorted. Rupert and Wesley are working on an antidote. Soon as I find that other demon and rip its heart out, we’ll be well on our way to a solution.”

Buffy’s eyes were shadowed as she looked at him. “But what if it doesn’t work? What if Giles is right and I do go crazy?”

Spike didn’t hesitate. He stretched out on the bed, gath ering Buffy up in his arms. “It’s just all the voices,” he murmured. “If this doesn’t work—which it will—I’ll find us a place, a quiet place, and we’ll hole up there long enough for you to get this under control. Just the two of us.”

It was a fairy tale, a fantasy, absolutely impossible in the long run, but Buffy wanted to believe him. She fell into a restless sleep, Spike’s voice reducing everything else to a distant buzz.

~~~~~

“Have you guys found anything yet?” Giles asked as Willow timidly knocked on his office door.

She shook her head. “We’ve conducted some interviews, but there were a lot of people in the cafeteria yesterday, and Buffy didn’t give us much to go on.”

“I know.” Giles pulled off his glasses and started polishing the lenses. “You’ll continue your investigation tomorrow?”

“Sure thing,” Willow replied. She frowned. “Is she going to be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Giles admitted. “We have the recipe for the potion that ought to reverse the effects, but there is no guarantee that it will work. No one has ever been able to find all the ingredients before.”

“Spike will find the other demon.”

“I have no doubt that he will.” Giles wis hed he felt as certain as he sounded. Not that he doubted Spike’s abilities in the least, but even the vampire’s best efforts might not be enough this time. They had no way of knowing.

The phone at the desk rang, and they both started at the sound. “Mr. Giles?” Wesley called. “Mrs. Summers is on the phone.”

Giles stood. “We’ll have to go over there later, in case Spike—” He took a deep brea th. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Willow .”

The girl knew a dismissal when she heard it. Willow wished that she could tell Giles it was going to be okay.

Willow wished she knew that her best friend was going to pull through this.

“See you.” She watched as Giles brushed past her, taking the phone from Wesley. Giles’ voice took on a different tone when he talked to Joyce. Willow noticed it, but she wasn’t sure what it meant.

“We’ll be over immediately, love,” Giles finally said.

Willow ‘s eyes widened. Buffy was not going to be happy when she found out about this.