Chapter 4: Once More With Feeling
“Say it!”
Buffy remained silent as Father William thrust into her from behind. Her knees were sore, her arms were shaking, her ass was red with hand prints and William continued to shout at her, grunting with frustration as he held off both of their pleasure. It had been hours, maybe, since this game started and she was testing his limit. How long would he last, how long would he torture her before one of them gave in? She desperately wanted to come but the punishment was just as sweet. He thrust a few more times before bringing his large hand down onto her ass with a loud thwack. They both moaned when her inner muscles tensed from the pain, clenching around his cock.
Father William stilled and leaned forward, wrapping his hand around her throat and gently pulled her head back to whisper in her ear. “Say it.”
Buffy smiled at him and wiggled her hips from side to side. He smirked and leaned back on his knees again. “If that’s how you want to play it, Buffy,” he teased and spanked her again, much harder this time, so hard he had to shake his hand to ward off the sting. Buffy whimpered, lowering her upper body onto the floor when her arms finally gave out. Father William pulled out of her and stood up, leaving the trembling body of his student on the floor while he went behind his desk. Panting, wet and throbbing with a need to come, Buffy rolled onto her back and watched as Father William cracked open a window and lit a cigarette. His pale skin was illuminated by the early evening’s twilight, back-lit with red from the stained glass and he sat in the window seat, peering out at the grounds below. He closed his eyes as he exhaled a thick ribbon of smoke with a long sigh. Buffy raised the stakes today, and William was all too willing to play the game. She was waiting for him in his office and was completely naked when he arrived, sitting on his desk and eating an apple. She smiled at him and held the apple high in the air, looking like Eve incarnate and something within him snapped. Her constant attempt at mocking his faith was something that made their little trysts so much more devious and while he should have been offended, it only made him harder.
She was unable to move, though she tried to stand, pulling herself up on his desk with shaking arms. He looked at her then and licked his lips. His shoulders bounced gently with his quiet chuckle as he took in her appearance. Her hair was a tangled mess, her lips were red and puffy, her eyes twinkling with desire and her naked body was covered in red marks from his demands. She smirked at him and then lowered her head as she took deep breaths, dragging one foot before placing it flat on the ground.
“All you have to do is say the words, love,” he said smiling around his cigarette before inhaling again, narrowing his eyes to protect them from the smoke.
Buffy’s shoulders shook as she finally propped herself up to stand and instantly regretted it, turning around swiftly to sit on the desk with a loud plop. She giggled. “I can’t walk.”
Father William flicked his smoke out the window and stood up, casually walking over to her while inspecting his perfect nails. He stood in front of her and tilted his head to the side as he inspected her weakened state. She felt his still hard cock bump against her knee as he stepped between her legs and he tilted her chin up to look at him. “Your hair is a mess,” he said plainly, running his fingers through her golden tresses as he worked the knots out. She closed her eyes as tingles traveled from her scalp to her toes with every gentle caress he delivered to her hair and cheeks.
William didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up. They’d met every day for the past three weeks, each time their meetings ended with an emotional shutdown and his back to her as she left his office. His addiction to her bordered on obsession and while the sex was fantastic, he craved something more from her, something poignant that she was probably too young to understand and so he kept up with the games, the fucking, the pain, the begging: all of it was a way to maintain a sense of control over his feelings. It was at times like these, however, that he found his control slipping. It might have been easier if she weren’t so receptive to his tenderness; if she scoffed at it, feared it, even. But she didn’t. And he hated her for it.
William scooped her up in his arms and quickly walked to the back of his office. She wondered where he was taking her and as he opened a tiny door, she realized that she was about to see Father William’s private bedroom. She didn’t know what to expect, but this was definitely not it. The room was no bigger than a large walk-in closet, the walls were decorated with beige stucco, a small square window sat high on the wall with wrought-iron bars like a prison cell, and a tiny twin bed with a rusty, metal headboard and crisp white sheets sat in the middle of the room and the only thing on the wall was a wooden cross. It reminded her of a third world country hospital room because of its simplicity. Had he really lived like this for ten years? No pictures, no paintings, nothing that reflected his own tastes, not a single personal touch adorned the room and she felt a sadness for him then. She knew that priests and nuns were to give up their worldly possessions once they made a vow to Christ but this was just…well, it was depressing. She would have gone crazy after a week of living this way. Even Sister Margaret had a brightly colored crocheted blanket in her room and a few pictures of her family. It wasn’t much but at least she had a few things that reminded her of who she was. Father William’s room was purely functional and if she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was punishing himself.
He sat her down on his bed and ordered her to roll over on her stomach. Buffy immediately obeyed and she felt him grab her wrists and pull her hands to the headboard, linking her fingers around the paint-chipped metal bars. She anticipated him fucking her instantly; maybe he’d spank her again. But he did neither and straddled her thighs, gently brushing her hair away from her back and neck and he leaned forward to kiss her between her shoulder blades. She could hear him breathing and her muscles trembled as she waited for him to do something. Waited for him to command her to say the words again, spread her legs and enter her unmercifully. Something was different this time, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking, couldn’t see his face to read his expression and goose bumps raised on her flesh as he started massaging her back. He lovingly glided his thumbs and the heel of his hands up her spine and she sighed as the tension started to leave her body. He rubbed her from her lower back to her shoulders in a slow stroke and came back down her back with only the tips of his fingers. She shivered, arching her back slightly when it started to tickle. Whether or not he was amused with her writhing, she didn’t know as he remained perfectly silent. Father William’s hands were on her ass then, though his touch was even gentler there, being careful with her raw skin. He kissed every inch of her ass, his nose and breath tickled as he slowly moved from cheek to cheek, warm lips pressing gently against her reddened flesh. He got up then and rolled her over onto her back, sitting on the edge of the bed near her waist.
His face was tense, eyebrows struggling to meet in the center as his eyes roamed over her body. Buffy knew not to say anything. She allowed him this, whatever it was he needed. It had been rare for him to be so tender and usually he was brutal, forceful at times though she was more than capable of taking the abuse, wanted it in fact. It was strange to Buffy how a gentle touch, like the one he was placing to her stomach right then, was more unnerving than his hands or his yard stick pummeling her supple skin. By the tremble in his fingers as his hands ghosted over her breasts, she realized that maybe he felt just as wary about it. He wasn’t touching her, just barely hovering over her skin. She could feel the warmth of his hands, though, could feel it almost as well as if he were actually touching her. He ghosted his fingers over her breasts, her stomach, slowly moving to her thighs and inward to her sex. She panted, gripping the headboard above her as she struggled to remain perfectly still. His eyes were unreadable as he continued his assault and the tension in his shoulders gave her alarm.
She wanted to say, “It’s ok, you can touch me.” But she didn’t know how or even if it was ok. He was telling her without words what he wanted from her, what he desired, but he was too afraid to take that next step. She ached for those tender caresses, for the loving gestures, the slow drag of his fingers around her nipples. It was too much and William sighed, his hands curled into fists and he turned away from her then and stared at the floor. Buffy rose up on her elbows and looked at his back, hunched over and trembling. She swallowed and reached forward to touch him, stopping midway and dropped her hand in her lap.
“Do you want me to go?” she said quietly.
His head turned around to look at her and he shook it gently, his eyes darting to the wall. “No.”
“Ok.” She sat up and fidgeted with the sheets, unsure of what to do. She didn’t have to wait long, however. In mere seconds, he grabbed her and pulled her into his lap, straddling his waist. He looked in her eyes for a moment before he pressed his lips against hers. She tried to return his gentleness but as soon as she did, he cupped her cheeks and pulled her closer for a bruising kiss, nipping and sucking on her lips with reckless abandon. She knew the tenderness was over, he’d retreated again. With a slight lift of her hips, she was impaled on his cock, his hands squeezing her ass as he started her on the rhythm that he wanted. She held on for dear life as he plowed into her. All thoughts of the game were long gone. He was fucking her to get off, get it over with, bring her over with him and screw away the memories of what he wanted. She clenched her eyes shut as she fought off the sting in her eyes as she gave him this. His usual grunting, moaning and sexy words were replaced by shallow breaths, making the sounds of their carnal act louder and more noticeable in the tiny room. Buffy was close to coming and she squeezed him to bring it faster. Her orgasm tore through her belly and she clutched his shoulders, shouting as he furiously rose his hips to pound into her as his own release overtook his body. He made no noise except for a tiny strangled moan when he finally came and then he dropped his hands from her ass and turned his head to the side, avoiding her eyes. Buffy tried to soothe him by stroking the back of his neck but he quickly grabbed her hands and lowered them. Without looking at her he said, “I can’t do this again.”
She gasped and blinked rapidly. “W-what?”
“I can’t.” He lifted her off of him and set her back on the bed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees as his head hung low.
“What can I do?” she said weakly, tears rimming her eyes.
“You can go. Get dressed, go back to your room and go on with your life.”
She stood up then, her chin quivering. It hurt to hear him say it, but she knew why. They were both in over their heads and they couldn’t keep pretending that nothing was going on between them, because it was so much bigger than either was willing to admit. She knew that the next time they met that they would have crossed that line. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was better to end it before they were too far gone to deal with it in the future. With a choked sob, she leaned forward and kissed him sweetly, stroking his cheek with her thumb and smiled softly.
“Ok, William.”
His eyes darted to look at her then, his chest tightening at the sight of her sadness. She’d never called him William before and somehow, hearing her say it made everything that much more difficult to handle. He swallowed a lump in his throat and blinked away his tears.
“I’m sorry, Buffy.”
“Don’t be sorry. Whatever you’re feeling…whatever you’re thinking…I’m there with you.”
His mouth formed a tight line and he nodded, unable to watch her as she left his room. He heard her changing into her clothes and shut the office door upon her exit and it was then that William finally let the emotions take over and he wept.