Chapter 20: Trust and Longing
Buffy did not like this Miranda person, not one bit. William mentioned her casually in his first letter as “A young assistant of my father’s”. She continued to fret over the adjective he used and wondered if she was pretty, moreover, if Miranda was prettier than she was. Her jealousy increased as he went on to say, “I’m not sure about her yet, but luckily, I’m busying myself with things outside of their treasure hunt.”
Why would he tell her that? Was he trying to make her upset? As if it wasn’t difficult enough with him being so far away, now he had to tell her about some young thing with wandering eyes. She knew she shouldn’t be angry and should instead be happy that he was being honest. If he’d kept it from her and let her name slip in a letter down the road, she’d only be more suspicious. But he hadn’t, he’d told her that the woman was there, and she should just let it go and focus on how happy she was to receive a letter so quickly. But there was that niggling thought in the back of her mind, knowing how incredibly hot William was, and also how naïve he was when it came to the opposite sex finding an interest in him. Perfect example: the blue haired bitch at the CD store.
But this Miranda person…she was world traveled, and young, and probably had interesting things to say, and she was young, and would be an idiot if she didn’t notice how incredibly sexy William was.
She could picture him clearly. He’d be slightly tanned now from the hot Moroccan sun, dressed in loose clothing to ward off the heat, his blue eyes sparkling like cobalt in the sand. Perhaps he’d help some poor young boy tie his shoes as he walked down the street, pat him on the head and look devilishly sweet while Miranda eyed the whole thing, rubbing her young knees together as she watched Buffy’s boyfriend get tan and Buffy’s boyfriend give the smiles and the winks. It made her sick to think of it so she wisely decided not to think about it until he gave her a reason to be worried.
He’d chosen a nickname to sign his letters so he wouldn’t be caught and she laughed at what he’d landed upon.
All my love,
Spike
She’d called his cock that once when he was especially horny. One time. Apparently, William remembered. It made her wistful and happy just having that small reminder of their time together. He’d placed a few coins inside the envelope from Morocco and she twirled them in her hands while she read the letter several times over, looking for more clues to his infidelity and of course, finding none. She really needed to let it go.
And she really, really didn’t like the new priest at St. Mary’s. Once school started again, he’d gathered all the students in the church and gave a three hour lecture as well as an obligatory introduction to the school. He didn’t have the kindness that William possessed, didn’t speak passionately about anything but sin, started the second semester with a strict set of rules and even more assignments for English and everyone, including the troublemaker that Buffy once was, was scared shitless of him.
Buffy sensibly avoided drawing any attention to herself when in the presence of Father Caleb. He looked as if he was hungry for a smack down, desperate to put the beating on any girl who dared cross him. If she had to step foot into that office only to be punished by someone other than the man she loved and have him turn a special memory into something else, something probably evil, well, she might throw up on his stupid chili bowl hair cut. But she could feel it coming like a storm, feel his angry eyes on her at all times, his wrath looming over her like the gallows and it terrified her.
After everything she was already worrying over, William in another country, William being gone for months, her parents neglecting her at every turn, after all of this, she had Father Caleb breathing down her neck. It was enough to make an eighteen year old girl do something stupid.
Like join the theater club.
It took a bit of finagling to get in since it was required for students to join at the beginning of the school year and not during second semester, but Sister Mary was so thrilled that Buffy was taking an interest in involving herself in school activities that she’d done everything she could to usher her in. Buffy was beginning to like Sister Mary. Since she’d returned from her vacation with William, the old nun often came to visit her in her bedroom, just to see how she was doing. At first Buffy was suspicious, as if she was checking in on her for clues, but she was always so sincere, always compassionate with Buffy’s plight that she quickly quashed any doubts she had initially. If Sister Mary did know about her affair with their former priest, she never let on, nor did she ever make Buffy feel as if she were being judged. It was nice to have a female figure in her life that cared about her, truly cared, and continually offered her support.
Unlike her parents who’d haphazardly wrapped a few Christmas gifts and mailed them to the school. It did not go unnoticed by her that the package was post-dated three days after Christmas, nor did it go unnoticed how thoughtless the gifts themselves were. The first one was a photo album, which she thought was slightly funny. What, exactly, would she be taking pictures of, so much so that she would require an entire album to fill with them? The price tag was still attached and the store they’d purchased it from, The Charles de Gaulle Boutique de Cadeaux, was obviously a souvenir shop in the airport. The second gift, wrapped in nicer paper, paper from the store it was purchased from, was a 3-karat diamond pendant on a gold chain. It was pretty, and any girl should have been happy to receive such a gift, but Buffy knew all too well that it was not purchased with her in mind. More than likely, it was a gift her mother received from a client, a client she’d probably been screwing for a few months on the side, and charitably tossed it to her daughter at the last minute when she finally crawled out of her drunken phase long enough to remember the holiday even required her to do something nice for her only child. The necklace was no comparison to the ring she wore on her finger, the ring William gave to her. And he didn’t even wrap it first. In fact, he’d thrown it at her in anger and it still meant more to her than any diamond ever would. He’d gone all the way to his father’s just to retrieve it from a crawl space in his bathroom that might not have even been there any longer, risked seeing the man he hated to get a ring for his girlfriend, a ring that she would never remove. Never.
It was upon that last thought that Buffy smiled and tucked her letter and the coins in a shoebox beneath her bed before she lay down and inspected her ring with a smile. “Miranda doesn’t have this, does she?”
No, she didn’t, and that was enough to make Buffy forget about the harlot on the other side of the world with her man. At least for a few more hours.
“I am thinking you are not thinking about what you should be thinking,” Vijay said with a cocked eyebrow as he walked into William’s room.
“Say that three times fast,” he joked and rose from his reclined position on the bed to sit up, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. “How were the tombs?”
“Filled with dead people. How was your nap?”
“It was a bit melodramatic at points, but I think I managed,” he smiled softly. They’d been in Morocco for a week and he’d yet to get on a regular sleep schedule. He couldn’t stop thinking about Buffy and he really needed to get out more or he’d go crazy.
“Your father is thinking of hiding the razors from you while we sleep.”
“Oh, it’s not that bad, is it?”
“I don’t know. I have seen sulking and I have seen sulking. You, my friend, are the sulking king. Wait,” he stopped, confused for a minute and then continued, “Sulking has the word ‘king’ in it. Perhaps it is an omen.” His white teeth sparkled behind his salt and pepper beard and he casually leaned in the doorway, scratching at his bare chest. “So, are you going to be the cry baby or are you going to eat the goat that Hafeza prepared for us?”
“I’m coming.” He walked over to the doorway and muttered under his breath, “Ass.”
“I have ears in the back of my head, William,” he said as he walked into the front room.
“It’s eyes, Vijay. Eyes in the back of your head.”
“I have those, too.” He plopped down on a satin pillow and immediately went for the bread. “Everything you can think of, I have in the back of my head.”
“A day planner?” Rupert offered as he came to join them, Miranda right behind him.
“Yes, I have that in the back of my head.”
“You must have a pretty big head,” the assistant offered, winking at him playfully.
“It is the cranium that the Gods weep over,” Vijay continued to joke, stretching his legs straight out in front of him, not caring that his dirty feet were inches from William’s plate. But William hadn’t noticed, he was too busy avoiding the sidelong glances of the woman sitting next to him. He’d been avoiding her like the plague, secretly wanting to join his father on his excursions but too afraid of being around this girl that was clearly interested in him. Aside from Buffy, he’d never been looked at that way and he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with it. It was flattering, but no amount of blocking body language was giving her the hint.
“How much longer do you plan on staying in this building, William?” Miranda asked with a kind smile.
“Until I decide to not be here anymore,” he said plainly, stuffing his mouth with olives.
“William,” Rupert spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence that fell between the two, “you need some hashish.”
William rolled his eyes at his father. “Somehow I doubt that will solve my problems.”
“You are too tight in the britches,” Vijay interjected.
“I’m not tight in the…britches,” he pouted, tearing off a piece of goat and stuffing it in some flat bread. “Just have a lot on my mind is all.”
“Don’t listen to them,” Miranda whispered as she leaned towards him. “They’re a regular after school special over here.”
William chuckled a bit at that and smiled. “I’m used to it, trust me. They’re always trying to get me to go along with them.”
Miranda, pleased that she’d made him smile, continued to speak, edging closer to him. “You do drink, though, right? You’re not a complete ass, are you?”
He laughed at that and shook his head. “No, not a complete ass. This ass is half full.”
His smile faltered and he cleared his throat, hoping his Freudian slip went unnoticed. It didn’t.
“Is that why you were a priest for so long?” Rupert joked, laughing at his own wit and lighting up his third joint for the day.
“Not funny,” William scowled. “Besides, I was stationed at an all-girl’s school, thank you. Can we please stop the sodomy jokes?”
“See? The britches. They are too tight,” Vijay coughed, having taken too large a hit.
“How long were you a priest, if you don’t mind me asking?” Miranda took a sip of her hot tea and tugged on the hem of her skirt as she adjusted her legs. She found William intriguing, though she didn’t exactly know why other than the fact that he was incredibly handsome. There was something about him though, something she wanted to analyze further. He seemed so sad and that troubled her, especially with the information she’d squeezed out of Rupert. She didn’t have to squeeze very hard, though. As soon as she mentioned an interest in William, Rupert was very forthcoming with the information, even going so far as to say that the pushier she was, the better, and that William needed a female distraction.
“Ten years. A teacher for eight.”
“That’s a long time,” she nodded, hoping he would continue. When he didn’t, her lips tightened. “So…how’s that working out for you?”
William sighed and put his plate on the ground, folded his hands and turned his head towards her. He’d finally figured it out when he looked at his father who was smiling and encouraging the exchange. “I’ll say this now so we don’t ever talk about it again.”
“Ok,” she said softly, suddenly feeling very awkward.
“Leaving the church was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Had it not been for the choices I made, I more than likely would not have left. But I did make those choices, choices I’ll never regret, and I owned up to them and released my vows. It has only been a little over a week since this has all happened and I’d appreciate some discretion when it comes to asking me about my personal life. I don’t know you, I don’t disclose private information to just anyone, and I’m only here to pass the time. I realize you’re trying to be polite, but I also know my father and have no doubt that he’s been planting little seeds in your head.”
“He hasn’t—”
William raised his hand to stop her. “Right, he hasn’t,” he laughed humorlessly. “You’re a pretty girl with a pretty smile and he thinks that by having you around, I’ll grow a pair and get over it.”
“William!” Rupert shouted angrily. “That is enough!”
“Why did you need an assistant, father? You’ve done nothing but sightsee for the past week and Vijay is more than capable of guiding you through the city.” When Rupert remained silent, William snorted. “Exactly. Miranda,” he said turning to her, “I’m sorry, but you’re merely a part of one of my father’s many William experiments, one he’s played a time or two before with me. You seem like a nice girl, but don’t listen to a bloody thing that man says.”
“Dammit, William,” Rupert tossed his napkin on the ground and sat up. “You don’t have to pick the poor girl apart! She was merely asking you a question.”
“Well I’m not interested in being interrogated right now, I’m sorry,” he said the last part softly to the girl who was still reeling with everything she’d just heard. She merely nodded at him, unable to meet his eyes and picked at her food, feeling embarrassed and unsure as to how to get out of the awkward situation.
“I, for one, think William needs to be questioned more,” Vijay said casually as he wiggled his long toes. “We should ask him what his favorite color is or how many times he wipes his asshole.”
William was grateful for the icebreaker, even at the expense of his derriere, but he was still furious with his father for trying to set him up with one of his assistants. He didn’t mean to snap at her, it wasn’t her fault. She obviously didn’t know anything about him, or about Rupert for that matter, but William was used to this sort of manipulation from his father. He meant well, but Lord the man went about things the wrong way.
“I’m going for a walk,” William finally said, and stood up. “Miranda, perhaps we started off on the wrong foot here. Would you like to join me?”
“Um, sure,” she said warily.
“Just a walk, though,” he thought it important to mention.
She rose to her feet and smiled tentatively. “Just a walk. Got it.”
“We can talk about my half full ass,” he tried to joke as they walked out the door and Miranda felt slightly better, though she was still a bit uncomfortable with how things panned out.
Vijay shook his head in Rupert’s direction, narrowing his eyes. “You are trying to be the matchmaker?”
“I just thought…he could use some recreation,” Rupert said solemnly.
“He is crying in his bedroom over the errand girl and you think he needs to get the sex? Have you never had a conversation with your son before?”
“I know,” he sighed and leaned against the wall. “At least they are getting along, though. He needs more friends.”
“I hope this doesn’t come back for the haunting, Rupert. William is a good man and that girl will not stop trying when she realizes just how good he is.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” Rupert pouted and killed the joint, snuffing it in a bowl of hummus when he exhaled his last hit.
“I love it when I am,” Vijay smiled. “Now, are we going to roller-skate in the quarter or are you going to be the big fat pussy again this year?”