Chapter 19
“I hope you’re into necrophilia,” Elizabeth announced flopping onto the couch beside Spike, “because I am sooo dead right now.”
He quirked an amused eyebrow in her direction. “Got your paper all turned in then?” he inquired, his head tilted to one side as he studied the soft skin along her collarbone.
She groaned. “Ten pages of hell completed and in the prof’s mailbox,” she agreed with a grimace.
“Then you’ve got no excuse for shooing me away when I…” He leaned in, lightly nipping at her flesh, trailing biting kisses down to the low neckline of her blouse.
“Mmm…” Elizabeth practically purred. “Feels good…”
“Woah! PDA alert!” Xander suddenly announced from the doorway, breaking up their little impromptu make-out session. He practically skipped into the lounge before flopping down on the other couch, remote firmly in hand.
Spike reluctantly pulled back from where he’d rather craftily managed to situate himself between Elizabeth’s thighs. After all, they hadn’t gone this long without sex since they’d first started, and both were more than eager to break their forced abstinence.
“It’s cruel and unusual,” Anya agreed, following Xander into the room and settling in the seat beside. “Some of us don’t get to have sex later to work it off.” She cast a pointed glance in Xander’s direction.
“Tell me about it,” Xander nodded, eyes riveted to the television screen and thus completely oblivious as only a male can be.
Anya rolled her eyes and gave Elizabeth and Spike a long-suffering look. “We’re not just going to watch TV tonight,” she complained, turning back to Xander.
“We’ve gotta do something while we wait for Willow and Tara,” he argued, his arm draping over the couch-back for a second before oh-so-not-casually slipping down to Anya’s shoulder.
She relaxed against him but gave Elizabeth a little ‘see what I have to put up with?’ smile as she did so.
“You lovebirds coming with us tonight?” Xander asked the bleached pair, turning from his precious television for the first time since it had been activated…but only because those Reebok commercials were really annoying…
“Of course,” Elizabeth agreed before Spike could get a word in. “One last night with the dorm before I flunk out,” she joked lightly.
“You’re not gonna flunk out,” Spike insisted for the umpteenth time. “Hell, you aced that English paper.”
Elizabeth’s nose scrunched up. “I’ll probably get a ‘C’,” she decided.
“‘A’,” Spike countered. “Trust me, ‘ve read ‘A’ papers a hell ‘f a lot worse than that one.”
“But I didn’t really participate that much in class discussions…” Elizabeth countered.
Spike waved one hand in the air dismissively. “Teacher’ll just think you’re shy,” he assured her.
“Either that or I’m too busy making out with my boyfriend in class to pay attention,” she countered with a quirky smile.
A wicked little smirk curled up the edges of his lips. “That too, luv,” he agreed, the fire in his liquid blue eyes dancing.
“I’m impressed you’re coming with us,” Anya announced, snagging the bag of Doritos that Xander had brought along and stealing a healthy handful. She began crunching away at the chips before continuing. “You know, I just figured you’d want as much time for the sex as possible.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “You’re gonna have ta come up with somethin’ better’n that, Anyanka,” he teased. “We’ve all become immune to your sex talk.”
Elizabeth couldn’t help but agree, even though she was still proud of the fact that she hadn’t blushed.
Anya’s lip jutted out before an evil light lit up her eyes. “So, Spike,” she began innocently enough, “have you enjoyed any good fellatio lately?”
Everyone in the room froze, paralyzed by the new horrifying levels of Anya’s bluntness. Every face in the room aside from the perpetrator of the comment turned a deep crimson as they all simultaneously wished they would spontaneously combust.
“Oh yeah,” Anya rubbed her fingernails on her shirt, an amused grin on her face, “I’ve still got it…”
“Hey, guys,” Tara popped into the room, “what…” She trailed off when she noticed the horrified looks of Spike, Xander, and Elizabeth’s faces and the pure shit-eating grin on Anya’s. “…did Anya say now?” she slightly amended her question.
Anya was the only one not too stunned to answer. “I merely asked Spike if he—”
“Stop!” Three cries shouted out in unison.
Tara seemed to shrink back. “Given the reaction, I’m guessing I don’t wanna know,” she teased lightly.
“It involved—” Anya began.
“Stop!” Xander, Elizabeth, and Spike all suddenly had the strange feeling they were in a chorus.
Anya practically beamed at the success of her latest embarrass-everyone tactic and deftly linked her arm through Xander’s. He gulped in response and shifted in his jeans. This brought an even brighter smile to her face. Maybe he was finally getting the hint…
“So, I take it we’re just waiting on the lovely girlfriend of mine?” Tara asked, leaning back against the wall.
“She’s changin’,” Spike provided, quirking his head in the direction of Willow’s room. “You’d think lesbians would be able to get dressed faster than other women, but nooo…”
Xander frowned. “Yeah, why is that?” he demanded.
Tara shrugged. “Whatever it takes to keep your girlfriend pleased,” she said with a soft smile and a shy blush.
“Yeah, Spike,” Elizabeth teased. “From now on, I expect a good half hour in the bathroom every morning followed by endless agonizing over selection of clothing, complete with tricky ‘does this make my butt look fat?’ questions.”
He gave her a rakish grin. “Got a right cute butt,” he countered. “Or at least you seemed to think so last night when you—”
“TMI!” Xander announced, not-so-inconspicuously shifting the pillow to cover his lap.
Anya’s mood brightened markedly. Perhaps she wouldn’t have to resort to her plan of cornering him and dropping her dress after all.
“So, yeah…” Tara couldn’t help but smile inwardly at the strangeness that was Westing House. “I’ll just go in and check to see if Willow’s ready…” She slipped into the room.
“And to sneak in a quick orgasm while she’s at it,” Anya provided helpfully.
Xander’s attention was completely and utterly torn from the television. Hell, nothing was more important than lesbian sex, not even the Bond movie he’d found. “You really think they’re…” He gesticulated wildly. “In there?” He gestured to the closed door, a hopeful look on his face.
Anya rolled her eyes. “No, Xander,” she informed him patiently, “I was just trying to get a rise out of you…”
“Oh.” Xander looked disappointed and returned to the adventures of Pussy Galore.
Elizabeth and Spike snickered at Anya’s none-too-subtle innuendo and Xander’s complete obliviousness to it. Anya merely frowned. Perhaps she’d have to resort to knocking him unconscious to have her wicked way with him…
“We’re ready,” Willow announced then, practically bursting into the lounge, a wide grin on her face.
Tara followed after her, her cheeks slightly flushed and what could only be interpreted as a sly smile on her face.
Everyone gave them a suspicious look.
“What?” Willow demanded, all wide-eyed innocence.
Anya opened her mouth to speak but then shut it again. After all, it was no fun when they made it this easy for her…
“So, uh, yeah,” Willow said with a nervous laugh, “are we going then?”
Slight groans sounded throughout the room as everyone got up off of their comfy couches and slipped into various stages of winter-wear. Only Anya, who was convinced that it wasn’t cold until it was twenty below with a fifty below wind-chill, dared to go out in nothing but a jean jacket.
“Where’s Jonathan?” Xander inquired as they walked down the hall and passed the perpetually closed door.
“He went home yesterday,” Elizabeth provided. “Some lucky people got done with their exams early…”
“Hey, those ‘lucky’ people as you call them,” Xander defended himself, “may well have had three tests on one day. They should be pitied and cuddled, not mocked.”
“You’ve been sitting on the couch for the past two days, watching ‘Fifteen Days of Bond’ non-stop,” Willow retorted. “No pity or cuddling will be given.”
“Wouldn’t mind handin’ out a heavy dose of mockery, though,” Spike teased.
“Remind me why I didn’t just go home early again?” Xander let out a long-suffering sigh.
“Free cable and food,” Anya provided.
“Ah, yes,” Xander nodded sagely. “That would explain it…”
“So, where’re we eatin’?” Spike asked the once they were outside.
Instantly, the entire Westing House group hunched down into their coats, looking strangely like turtles retreating into their shells. Elizabeth wrapped her scarf around her face a couple more times just for good measure.
“I vote for somewhere nearby,” Tara announced. “It’s too cold to go far.”
“Wimp,” Anya couldn’t help but tease. However, she led the group straight down Cedar Avenue and the nearest cluster of restaurants to their dorm.
“Quick vote,” Willow announced. “Italian or Chinese?”
“Chinese.” The overwhelming response won out. Only Xander pouted at the lack of pizza at their chosen restaurant.
The gaggle of frozen college students practically ran into the restaurant, all breathing deep sighs of relief as the first rush of warm air overtook them, erasing the chill of the cold New York winter.
“Heaters are all the proof I need that there is a god,” Elizabeth joked, beginning the copious process of removing all her winter paraphernalia.
Spike snickered as the hood, hat, and earmuffs were all removed in turn. “A bit ‘f overkill?” he teased.
“At least my ears aren’t gonna fall off from frostbite,” she countered with a little smile before she stood up on her toes and nibbled lightly on one of the frozen lobes in question. “Brr,” she winced, reaching up to warm his other ear as well when she discovered they were even icier than she had imagined. “Why on earth don’t you wear a hat?”
Spike gave her a horrified look. “Bloody ‘ell! You’re channelin’ my mum!”
Tara got a mischievous look in her eyes. “Scary fact,” she joked. “The longer the two of you go out, the more she’ll act like your mother, until one day…” She let the sentence trail off.
Elizabeth flashed him an unashamed grin, and Spike gulped.
“Can’t you just feel the ball and chain closing around your ankle?” Xander added.
The group giggled at Spike’s horrified expression as one of the waiters came up to seat them. He cast the apparently giddy group of students an annoyed look and practically bristled when he had to clear his throat three times before Willow heard him and turned around.
“Uh, six,” she provided.
“Smoking or non-smoking?”
“Smoking!” Spike called out before someone could contradict him.
The waiter’s disdain for them increased. “This way,” he grabbed a handful of menus and walked off, his nose haughtily in the air.
“It’s like the snooty French waiter of Chinese cuisine,” Xander whispered softly so that only his friends could hear him.
Spike snickered, and Anya laughed aloud. Willow and Tara merely shook their heads at each other before taking their seats.
A brief chaos ensued while everyone tried to find seats next to their significant other. The solution to the puzzle was actually quite simple, but due to exam week, they were all pretty much brain-dead, even on something so simple at seating arrangements. Everyone finally settled down, they scrambled for the menus.
“It’s too bad Oz and Devon couldn’t make it,” Tara commented, holding her menu out so that Willow could read it over their shoulder.
“Yeah, I feel so sorry for them,” Xander said sarcastically. “Setting up for a big concert, pizza, booze, and girls all around…”
“He complains about the food,” Anya picked up on the ever-important ‘pizza’ section of his rant, “but in no time he’ll be inhaling the Chow Mien like he’s been starved.”
“Hey, I’m a growing boy,” Xander insisted.
Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re growin’ all right…horizontally…”
Xander stuck his tongue out at the other man and flicked on of those little soy-sauce packets at him.
“No food fights in restaurants,” Willow provided for the umpteenth time.
The two men both put on their best kicked puppy faces. The women just shook their heads in response.
“See, this ‘s why we need Devon an’ Oz,” Spike informed Xander. “The women’ve got us hopelessly outnumbered…”
Xander nodded gravely, conceding the point.
“When was their first set again?” Elizabeth inquired, changing the subject. She took a quick sip from the water glass the snobbish and determined-to-prove-how-superior-he-was waiter had promptly brought out.
“Seven,” Willow provided.
Xander checked his watch. “We’re gonna miss it,” he announced.
“We’ll just catch the second one then,” Anya announced. “No big.”
“Would you ladies and *ahem* gentlemen,” the waiter cast disapproving glances at Spike and Xander’s attire, “like anything to drink?”
“We’ll have your finest Chardonnay,” Spike switched over instantly to a snooty, upper class British accent. “Do you have the ’77?”
The waiter blinked in confusion. “Huh?” he asked, somewhat dumbfounded.
“’ll just have water then, mate,” Spike slipped back into his usual persona easily.
The waiter just nodded, stunned, while he shakily took everyone else’s orders. The others had quite a difficult time not giggling uncontrollably at the little stunt Spike had pulled. Once the pompous man had slipped back into the kitchen, they all broke out into laughter.
“Mmm,” Elizabeth nuzzled his throat lightly, “where’d you pick up that sexy accent?”
Spike’s eyes widened in horror. “Don’ call it ‘sexy’,” he shuddered. “My dad talks like that…”
Elizabeth’s brow wrinkled for a second. “OK, mild case of the wiggins,” she agreed.
“Speaking of which,” Willow sipped her own water, “is your dad coming into town for Christmas?”
“Yup,” Spike agreed, giving Elizabeth an amused little glance. “On Sunday Elizabeth gets to face both the parents.”
“I’m fully expecting him to demand to know what my intentions are towards his son,” Elizabeth said lightly.
“Meeting the parents,” Willow said sympathetically, “always scary.”
“Says the girl who hasn’t met mine,” Tara countered with a little smile.
“I thought that was because we didn’t want them to burn us at the stake for being ‘unnatural heathens’,” Willow countered.
Tara grimaced. “That about covers it.”
“I don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Anya felt obliged to add her own unique two cents. “After all, you merely have a temporary arranged to obtain pleasing orgasms. Now, if you wanted to make a contract to produce offspring, then I could see why parents would be involved. After all, they need to endure the continued success of their byproducts.”
Everyone laughed.
“Guess that means your going to have to meet my dad before we ‘make a contract to produce offspring’,” Elizabeth teased.
“Cor, that metaphor’s even scarier than the ball an’ chain,” Spike flushed slightly.
“I try my best,” Anya agreed cheerfully.
“Not half as scary as my dad, though,” Elizabeth countered.
Spike gave her a shy little smile. “Think I could handle it,” he assured her, “long as it was for you, pet.”
“Aw,” Tara mock-sniffed, “he’s so cute! You gotta keep this one…”
Spike scowled at her. Willow’s girlfriend had been rather timid and shy around him until just this year when she realized that the whole Big Bad thing was a complete charade and he was just a big softy underneath it…a big softy that was fun to tease. And she did so now mercilessly.
Tara gave him an unrepentant smile and swirled the ice about in her glass. “What are you doing over break?” she asked Anya.
“Following various paternal units around the world and studying the ways they make money,” Anya announced.
“Gosh darnit,” Xander slapped the table, “that was what I wanted to do!”
Anya batted him in the shoulder in response. “Jerk,” she said good-naturedly. “And it’s not like you’re doing anything better…”
“You going home?” Elizabeth inquired.
Xander let out a snort of laughter. “My entire vacation revolves around a crafty plan to avoid going home,” he clarified. “I figure that if I live on the streets all of vacation, my parents will forget I exist, and I’ll be free.”
Spike frowned. “You’re kidding ‘bout the streets part, right?” he demanded. “’Cause if you need a place to stay…”
“It’s cool,” Xander assured him. “I’ve got friends to stay with. After all, I wouldn’t want to break up the looove nest at the Giles’ this Christmas…”
Spike and Elizabeth blushed slightly since, yeah, that had kind of been what they’d had in mind.
“Ooh, you got Elizabeth’s ears to turn pink!” Anya announced in delight. “Very good.” She gave Xander a quick peck on the cheek in response.
He got this rather goofy smile on his face.
Spike just shook his head. Maybe he should corner his friend this evening and instruct him in the proper method of pester—er, courting a woman.
“We can hardly wait for tomorrow,” Willow said with a wide grin. “Our flight leaves at eight, you know.”
“Yes,” Spike rolled his eyes, “please tell us more ‘f the details of your trip. ‘Cause we haven’t heard enough about Mexico yet.”
Tara flicked a soy-sauce packet at him. Willow turned to look at her girlfriend in disbelief, but she just smiled and shrugged in response.
“It’s irresistible, isn’t it?” Xander grinned at Tara’s latest step over onto the path of annoying Spike.
“I’m surrounded,” Willow sighed.
“You’re surrounded?” Spike retorted, noticing the evil smiles every other person at the table was casting in his direction.
Pompous Waiter, fortunately, saved the day. “Are you ready to order?”
“Oh yeah, I’d like the Chow Mien,” Xander announced. “Like, two orders of it.”
The waiter raised a disbelieving eyebrow.
Elizabeth and Anya just snickered amongst themselves. “You know him too well,” Elizabeth accused.
Anya nodded. “If only he’d realize that…”
* * *
It wasn’t until they’d finished dinner and gotten to the Blue Club that Elizabeth and Anya had a chance to really talk by themselves, though.
Anya winced visibly when she and Elizabeth were left alone at the table, Willow and Tara having gone off to dance and Xander and Spike acquiring the night’s drinks. The look on the other girl’s face was really just too evil.
“Payback’s a bitch,” Elizabeth agreed with a wide grin. “So, you and Xander – why no orgasms?”
“It’s not my fault,” Anya insisted. “He’s just…oblivious. I think he’s taking things slow or trying to be slick or something.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “Have you tried jumping him yet?” she suggested. “Even the most oblivious guys seem to understand that one.”
“I’m seriously considering it,” Anya nodded morosely. “Underwear or no underwear?” she asked Elizabeth’s advice.
Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “You’re seriously…?” she began in disbelief.
“I think full nudity is the only thing that’s going to get his attention, yeah,” Anya said with a bemused smile. “I mean, what did you use on Spike?”
“Well, Spike practically clubbed me over the head and grunted ‘Ungh! My woman!’,” Elizabeth joked. “But, with the sex…” She frowned. “Yeah, I pretty much had to tackle him to the bed and rip his clothes off,” she agreed.
“Guys have gotten all sensitive,” Anya complained. “It’s like they’re the ones who want the deep, meaningful relationships instead of just the enjoyable orgasms.”
Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. “You don’t want a ‘deep, meaningful relationship’ with Xander?” she inquired.
“I can’t have the sex, too?” Anya pouted.
Elizabeth flashed her a wry grin. “There’s nothing to say you can’t. You’ll just have to jump him,” she concluded.
“I’d pretty much already decided that,” Anya agreed. “I would consider the dance floor to be an excellent place for jumpage.”
Elizabeth giggled. “That’s absolutely correct. Now, where’s that sexy boyfriend of mine so that I can demonstrate for you?”
Anya grinned, but then her brow furrowed. “Yes, what is taking them so long?” she demanded…
* * *
“What the bloody hell is your problem?” Spike demanded the instant he and Xander were out of the hearing range of their two female companions.
“Problem?” Xander asked, perplexed.
“Anyanka,” Spike tilted his head in the direction of the two blondes seated at the table. “She’s goin’ stir crazy waitin’ for you to jump her.”
“Ya think?” Xander frowned slightly and glanced back at the two blondes. As he watched, they both burst out laughing about something or other.
Spike rolled his eyes heavenwards. “Listen,” he said wearily, picking up their drinks and nodding to the bartender in thanks, “we are going to go back to the table. You are going to sit down right next to Anya. You are going to kiss her. Then, you are going to ask her to dance. This will, hopefully, leading to the two of you heading back to the dorm early.” He had deliberately taken on clear, precise, formal tones as he made that speech, so that there was no way Xander could misunderstand. “Got it, mate?” he demanded.
Xander just nodded, eyes wide.
“And contrary to whatever image Anyanka may portray, she’s not quite so secure in her relationships,” Spike added. “You hurt her…”
“I would never,” Xander insisted vehemently.
“Good,” Spike let out an exasperated sigh, “now let’s go.”
* * *
Elizabeth watched with amusement as their missing male counterparts suddenly materialized from the crowd, Spike firmly and confidently in the lead and Xander hovering behind a ways, looking nervous.
“He looks like he just had some sense talked into him,” Anya commented. “Give Spike some extra nice orgasms tonight for that.”
Elizabeth grinned, her eyes raking up and down her lover’s body. “I have every intention of doing so,” she agreed.
“Doing what?” Spike asked curiously, settling himself in the seat beside her.
She leaned in to give him a quick kiss. “You’ll find out tonight,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him once more.
“Hmph,” Anya complained as Xander sat down beside her. “Now I have to watch them and get all wound up without—”
Xander tapped her on the shoulder.
“Wha—Mmm…” Anya murmured contentedly as his lips pressed up against hers, hesitant at first, but then demanding when he felt her respond against him.
“You wanna dance?” Xander asked, pulling away slightly.
“Can we grind against each other erotically?” Anya only half-teased.
“That was the idea,” Xander agreed, taking her hand and leading her out onto the floor.
Elizabeth sighed and pulled away from Spike’s lips, resting her head in the crook of his throat. “It’s about time,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “All the UST between the two of them was driving me crazy.”
“Tell me ‘bout it,” Spike agreed.
“Makes me wanna go back to the dorm and work all the tension out,” she whispered into his ear.
“Why, Miss Summers,” Spike couldn’t help but tease, “are you trying to seduce me?”
“Please don’t tell me I’ll have to resort to Anya’s corner-him-and-strip-naked technique,” she retorted lightly.
“What about your whole ‘last night out with our pals, got the whole break to make out’ plan?” he inquired, one eyebrow quirked.
She lightly bit the soft skin right over his Adam’s Apple. “Friends hung out with,” she whispered huskily, “make out now.”
“Been reduced to a cave-girl now, have we?” he teased lightly.
“You complaining?”
“Not in the slightest.”