Chapter 8
Spike had to get out of there. It was late and he was hungry and Buffy wouldn’t stop looking at him and Angel was brooding and fuck, he hated these twits.
“Don’t you kiddies have school in the morning?” he asked, hoping against hope that the seemingly endless search to reverse the spell on Buffy would come to an end. He still couldn’t believe that it hadn’t worked. The rest of them were fairly certain that she was under a spell and until they had tried reversing it, he agreed. But what if she wasn’t lying? What if she really did love him? That was pretty ridiculous to even consider, but stranger things had happened to him.
Giles raised his eyes from the tome he was reading and looked at the clock on the wall. It was rather late and after a quick perusal of the exhausted teenagers littering his living room, he decided it could wait until the following day.
“Yes, I suppose you’re right. We’ll start again tomorrow after school.”
Xander sighed in relief. “Thank God. I’m too young to have cramps in my neck.” He rubbed the aching muscle as he stood up. The rest of them followed suit, stretching and groaning in relief as they made their way to the door. The only one who remained was Willow who was feeling too guilty to give up just yet.
“When are you all going to realize that it’s not magic?” Buffy said in irritation. She refused to help them research because she was absolutely convinced that they were all idiots who simply didn’t understand how complex and romantic her relationship with Spike was. She knew it would take some time for him to realize how much she loved him. He had, after all, recently been crushed by Drusilla and his heart was fragile and insecure and she’d just have to handle him with kid gloves until he knew how eternal her love for him truly was.
“Buffy, I know this might be difficult for you to understand, but please put your faith in us,” Giles said softly, patting her on the shoulder. “We only want to help you and once we’ve figured out this spell, you’ll see that we were right.”
“But—”
“Guys! Wait a second!” Willow interrupted, standing up abruptly with excitement. The group paused at the door and turned to face her.
“We were so close to leaving,” Cordelia said with a whine. She sighed and folded her arms over her chest, cocking her eyebrow.
Satisfied that she had their attention, Willow picked up her book and said, “I found a passage here about evoking Gana and love spells.”
Though Spike was desperate to get out of there, if the witch had managed to solve the riddle, he’d stick around a bit to hear it. He plopped down on the arm of the sofa next to Buffy. “What’s it say?”
“Well, if you look at the spell line by line, it’s pretty straightforward. Usually spells have some sort of double meaning but Gana’s spells aren’t so much with the cryptic. I think we were just looking at it too critically. So, I think I know what it means. The first line is ‘Gana stay with he who yearns’ which we know is Spike. ‘Impress your wisdom to a heart that burns.’ So, if it is Spike, then that means that Gana is telling him who he really loves. Which we thought was Drusilla.”
“It is Dru, who else would it be?” he said angrily before he dared a glance at Buffy. Her chin was trembling and he cursed beneath his breath.
“So, this Gana whatever thinks that Spike is in love with Buffy?” Xander asked, obviously confused.
“Well, hold on,” Willow said. “Then it says ‘May love and lust bind her heart, forever his and never part.’ That’s pretty self-explanatory.”
“And why I’ll be suffering a new set of nightmares,” Xander added, recalling the spatula incident that would forever remain burned into his psyche. Lust spells weren’t all they were cracked up to be, in his experienced opinion.
“So the spell seeks out who Spike really loves and binds her to him without her consent?” Angel asked. His angry, suspicious eyes locked with Spike’s but Spike was clueless.
“Actually, no,” Willow said sheepishly. “I know it’s hard to believe, but…Gana doesn’t give access to magic whose source isn’t consensual. If no one loved Spike in return, it simply would have fizzled out. ‘Be it true or be it not.’ Either she already loved him, or would have eventually. If she didn’t, the spell wouldn’t have worked at all.”
Spike was speechless, as were the rest of them. Except Buffy, of course.
“See? I told you guys that—”
“W-w-wait a minute,” Giles said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “What of the next line? ‘Unbreakable unless forgot.’ That seems to imply that the spell cannot be broken unless…well, unless they both were to forget the spell.”
“Could be,” Willow said, sighing as she sat down again. “Or, it could be that they would have to forget one another entirely. That’s the part we have to figure out.”
“So, we find a forgetting spell and put an end to it,” Angel said, pacing the floor.
“Hold on,” Buffy said, standing to face him. “You’re insane if you think I’m going to let anyone wipe my memories. Just where the heck do you get off ordering—”
She was seconds away from tearing into him when Spike leapt from the couch and barreled through the front door in a flash of leather.
“Look what you did! You made Spike mad!”
She brushed past Angel and ran after Spike out into the night air.
* * * *
“Spike, wait!” She had to use all her strength to keep up with him as he charged forward, leaping over tombstones effortlessly. He was ignoring her, yelling something she couldn’t hear and finally she caught up to him. “Stop!”
He whirled around and grabbed her by the throat, digging his thumb into her trachea. She stared up at him with her big, glassy eyes, silently begging him to release her.
He growled through clenched teeth, “Why won’t you leave me alone?”
She couldn’t answer him with the chokehold around her neck and she curled her fingers around his hand to pry him loose, feeling tears well up in her eyes.
“I should kill you!” he shouted. When she started to sputter and gasp for air, he cursed and released her, lifting his hands up to rake through his hair in distress. “What are you doing to me?”
Buffy rubbed her throat and felt tears streaming down her cheeks. “Spike…”
“This is your fault, you know! Everything! I came here because of you, the first time.” He paused for a moment but she knew he didn’t want a response. She wiped at her eyes and looked at him sadly as he continued to rant. “Dru was sick and I needed something to…I thought if I killed another slayer she’d get better. Only you were too bloody good! Couldn’t kill you, could I? Not then, not now. It’s your fault she left me and it’s your fault we’re in this situation!”
“I’m sorry,” she said, whimpering.
“Red’s wrong,” he said evenly. “No bloody way I love you or that you love me. That’s insanity, is what it is.” He laughed humorlessly, turning away from her. He seemed to be calmer then, but Buffy was reeling with emotion. He’d just thrown a lot of crap in her face and she didn’t quite know how to deal with it, nor did she understand how he could move from one mood to the next without batting an eye.
“But…the spell said—”
“I don’t sodding care what the spell said!” He was in front of her in an instant, glaring at her. “I. Love. Dru. Not you. Get it?”
She hiccupped as a new set of tears spilled forward but she nodded. “Ok.”
“Oh, for—” He groaned and turned around, placing his hands on his hips as he tried to calm down. She was sobbing loudly now and he hung his head with guilt for having put it that way. He wished she’d struck out at him earlier, that she’d punched him or something. He wanted it, in fact. Wanted some sort of release for the anger bubbling inside him. But she hadn’t. She just looked at him as if he’d broken her heart and he could no longer stand it. It was too much. When the sniveling didn’t stop, he turned around again and said, “I’m sorry. Don’t cry, Buffy.”
She tried not to, she really did, but all she could focus on was that he didn’t love her and that her fanged prince would never be hers. She would forever live alone, unloved and unwanted until she withered away and died from a broken heart.
“Please don’t cry,” he said softer this time, bringing his hands up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Must be hard for you, too, yeah?” She nodded and he offered a small smile.
“But think about it, Slayer. Just days ago you hated me. You were in love with Angel, weren’t you?”
Just having him touch her was working to calm her nerves but the devastating pain in her heart had yet to go away. She considered his words, though, and tried to think back before the spell. “I think I might have been, but it was nothing compared to the way my heart yearns for your touch and…he’s been a big jerk lately.”
Spike chuckled quietly. “Yeah, he’ll do that.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. “Point is, it’s magic that’s making you feel this way. Nothing else.”
“But what if I don’t love you now, but I would have in the future? That would still make my feelings real, wouldn’t it?”
“Don’t know.” He shrugged.
“And…you’re sure that you don’t love me? That…there’s not even a teeny tiny part of you that loves me?”
There was such a hopeful look in her eyes that was so adorable he couldn’t resist smiling. But then he thought about it. Really thought about it. He remembered how obsessed he’d been with her when he first found her. Watching her every move, studying how she fought. He thought about how every day had been spent thinking of her in some respect. He either thought about murdering her or how intolerable and self-righteous she was, or how brilliant, depending. There were times he’d trailed her on a hunt, watching her fight demons and found himself so impressed with how inventive and quick on her feet she was that he couldn’t help but respect her for it. Like an equal.
He would tell Dru about it and she’d just ignore him, but he wanted her to know what sort of adversary he was up against so that when the day came that he killed her, Drusilla would be proud of him. She’d rant and rave about how the slayer was all around him, but there was a lot of work involved with killing a slayer as good as Buffy was. She was gorgeous when she fought, a bitch, too, which he admitted was a bit of a turn on. She didn’t take anyone’s crap and she never held her punches and Spike hadn’t ever fought anyone as magnificent as her before.
So, really, it was just obsession, wasn’t it? Just another part of the job. True, she was beautiful and wore short little skirts and had a sensuous mouth that could cut him down with just a word. But love? That was impossible.
Oh, balls.
“We just need to sort it all out, pet,” he said, avoiding her question that he’d just discovered the answer to. No sense in sharing the shame of loving a slayer when everything could still potentially turn to rot. “Your chums’ll figure out some mojo to set you to rights again and I can go on my merry way, yeah?”
“But I don’t want to forget you,” she said softly. She took a step forward and placed both hands on his chest, looking up at him. “Do you?”
He was mesmerized with her shining eyes for a moment before he shook his head. “No.”
“So what do we do?”
Spike tucked her hair behind her ears and tilted her head up to meet his. “I guess we just try to live with it. I don’t know how, but…we’ll think of something. In the meantime…” He kissed her chastely and pulled back, keeping his mouth a breath away from hers. He couldn’t open his eyes, too afraid of seeing the expression on her face, the one that would show him the wealth of her feelings for him. It was all so confusing and it was pulling him at all sides.
If she did really love him, then he could think of nothing sweeter. He’d dive right in, headfirst, he knew he would. He’d wanted this for so long, to be loved just like this. Though it was the slayer, something he’d never imagined a possibility; he knew now that it made perfect sense. Of course it was the fucking slayer. Couldn’t ever love anyone attainable, could he? First, an uptight, high society bitch that made fun of his poetry for her own amusement. Then, he loved a lunatic for over a century who had more in depth conversations with her dollies than she ever shared with him and now he loved a woman he was made to loathe.
But what if the witch was wrong? What if she was wrong and this was just magic? He’d be heartbroken and ashamed of himself and probably would let her stake him just to avoid the ridicule from the demon world when they undoubtedly found out. And what if what he was feeling was part of the spell, too? But that seemed most unlikely because he’d been pretty resistant to her advances until she shoved his hand between her silky, warm thighs and let him touch her sweet puss and…
“In the meantime, what?” she asked breathlessly. “You’ve been quiet for a while.”
He opened his eyes then and saw her teasing smile. He smirked at her dazed state, though, proud of himself that even a kiss as innocent as the one he’d given her managed to arouse her to no end. “In the meantime, I guess we try to enjoy one another’s company before it all goes to piss. Good plan?”
“Excellent one.”
His mouth crashed against hers, his arms banded around her waist and she clutched his shoulders as he kissed her so passionately her legs wobbled. The first swipe of his tongue across her lips made her gasp and she didn’t think she’d ever get over the taste of him. He moaned as he deepened the kiss and slid his hands down to grab her ass, pulling her flush against him. She had a great ass, this slayer.
He stumbled on his feet when she leapt up and wrapped her legs around his waist but he quickly recovered and walked them towards the nearest hard surface, which happened to be a mausoleum wall. They sucked and nipped and licked and tasted one another’s mouths as he pressed her back against the wall and slid his hands beneath her skirt to grab her ass properly.
Buffy pulled her shirt off and flung it carelessly behind him, panting as he looked down at her breasts. She slowly slid the straps of her bra down her arms, moving even slower as she pulled the cups down with them to reveal her nipples. His eyes widened with every second that she tortured him and then he descended upon them, sucking first one, then the other nipple into his mouth until they were glistening and hard. She dug her hands into his hair as he worshiped her breasts, moaning and moving against him, not even caring that his fingers were biting into her ass hard enough to bruise.
“What?” she said, startled, when he suddenly dropped her to her feet. She was still winded and heaving in gulps of air, her lust-addled daze making it difficult to stand. But he stood before her with a positively evil grin on his face.
“Take your skirt off.” His eyes never left hers as he removed his duster and gently laid it on the ground.
“But…” She was confused. Didn’t he want to do that for her?
“Buffy. Take off your skirt,” he said firmly, looking at her through his dark lashes and tilting his head to the side in silent appraisal. It made her shiver.
Barely able to contain her blush, she lowered her head and unbuttoned her skirt. She could hear her breath in the quiet cemetery. God, was she breathing that loudly? She stepped out of the garment, feeling a bit awkward with her bra straps hanging around her arms, breasts exposed, and standing against a mausoleum in her panties. Spike didn’t seem to mind, though. She saw a muscle ticking in his jaw and his fists tighten at his sides but then he closed his eyes for a moment and was calm again.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He smiled when the color of her cheeks grew even redder. “Now the knickers, love.”
“The huh?”
“Your undies. Take ‘em off.”
“Oh.” With trembling hands, she slid her panties down her legs and looked up at him shyly.
“You weren’t nervous last night when you flashed me,” he said teasingly as he approached her. “Why are you trembling now?” His hands trailed down her arms, leaving goose bumps where he’d touched her.
“I don’t know,” she said quietly, gasping when he gently pinched her nipples, tugging on them as he brought his mouth close to hers once more.
“You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he purred, right before he kissed her. He kept plucking at her nipples and making her mewl and moan between kisses. Just as it turned heated, he pulled away and said, “Lay down on the coat, love. Let me treat you right.”
She bit her lip and swooned, feeling as if she were floating on a cloud with those words echoing all around for all eternity. She did as he asked and lay down on her back, shivering a bit as the cool, silky lining of his coat made contact with her bare skin. Soon, she didn’t really give a damn because he pulled his shirt off and came down to crawl over her, giving her a perfect view of his flexing, corded muscles. He dipped his head down to draw a nipple into his mouth, looking at her with a voracious expression. He inhaled slowly and deeply, his eyelashes fluttering as he did so.
“You smell so good.”
“I do?”
“Mmhmm,” he drawled, the corners of his mouth curling upwards.
He was moving down, though, and she didn’t know why when she wanted that mouth of his on hers. She propped herself up on her elbows when he kissed her navel. “What are you doing?”
“Taking my time.”
“Oh. But…”
He had a feeling the interrogation wouldn’t end until she realized what he was headed for, so, skipping over the teasing bits he had in his mind, he crouched down between her thighs, spread her legs wide, and dove face first into her pussy.
“Holy! Crap! Oh, my God!” she shouted. Her back arched off the ground as he licked her from the bottom to the top, sucking her clit into his mouth once he got there. She felt him chuckling against her mound, and that only made it better. She’d never felt anything so intense in her life, had never seen anything so pornographic before. His head wiggled slowly from side to side as his tongue spread her open. His eyes were so dark they were almost black in the moonlight as they locked with hers. It was intimacy unlike anything she’d ever dreamed about. And he was panting, as if he were out of breath, as if he needed to breathe. He feasted upon her, moaned as he drew her lips into his mouth and sucked, hummed when he lapped at her clit, and exhaled heavily when he pulled back to run his fingers up and down her slit to spread her moisture around to his liking. He sucked in air through his teeth and bit his lip as he watched his own fingers move over her sodden folds before he went back for more.
And Spike had never tasted anything sweeter. He probed her entrance with two stiff fingers, circling them inside her as he drew out more of her flavor before he thrust them all the way inside to find the sweet spot. He nibbled on her clit and his eyes fluttered from the husky, raspy moans she emitted. Her hands sought purchase in his hair, tightening around tufts of peroxide locks like reins, which was fine by him since he rather liked the rough stuff. It only encouraged him to increase the pressure on her aching center, made him growl as she bucked beneath his mouth and when the pitch of her cries went higher and higher, his fingers wiggled and pumped inside her faster and faster. His tongue, lips and teeth teased and flicked her clit mercilessly until she was shouting across the cemetery.
“Spike! Spike! Yes!” Made him feel all tingly. His own arousal intensified when he sensed Angel lurking about. Knowing that he was witnessing Spike pleasuring his girl made him so hard he almost lost all sense of control. She came apart and he drew out her orgasm, hoping that wanker was getting his fill, wherever he was hiding. She belonged to him now, and Angel could go fuck himself. Which, he might be doing, actually.
Spike crawled up her torso, kissing her navel, her sternum and finally her puffy, wet lips, chuckling into her mouth when she fell limp beneath him. “Could do that again and again,” he vowed, gently settling his hips atop hers as he sweetly kissed her cheeks.
“No one…” she swallowed, shaking her head from side to side. She couldn’t catch her breath and her body was still buzzing from her orgasm.
“No one, what?”
“No one’s ever done that before. That was…that was amazing.” Her shining, awestruck eyes made him grin.
“Course it was. Know how to treat a lady,” he said smugly, laughing when she playfully slapped him on the shoulder. God, why did he let it go this far again? He was laughing and giggling with the slayer in a cemetery. And liking it.
“Can you treat this lady to taking off your pants?” she asked, biting her lip with a coy little grin as she traced the waistband of his jeans with her fingertips.
But when she asked him such brilliant questions, such as that one, he didn’t really care about the consequences.
“Not done, are you?”
She shook her head from side to side and he kissed her, grumbling with lust as she unbuttoned his jeans for him. In seconds, they were down around his thighs and his cock was poised at her entrance and he slid all the way to the hilt inside of her.
Were it not for the satisfied cries of the slayer beneath him, his vampire hearing might have picked up on the sound of a statue’s head crumbling beneath the angry grip of his maker. But Buffy was a loud little vixen and she was squeezing his cock so good he wouldn’t have given a fuck even if he did hear it.
Only a few moments passed and Spike no longer sensed him, which indicated that Angel had probably seen enough and left the scene to sulk about the inconvenience of feeling shame and nobility. Spike, however, hadn’t had enough of the slayer beneath him, not by a long shot. Every caress she gave him, every moan and sigh and wail that passed through her lips only served to solidify the horrifying thought that Spike was falling in love with his enemy. It was starting to feel a little too good.