Chapter Four
Spike sat in the plush, velveteen chair, silently smoking as his yellow eyes easily watched the play of emotion across her face. Shock was first, as he expected. That was followed quickly by a flash of anger, disbelief, and finally, longing. He hadn’t expected the last one, but, he felt the same way. Standing in one smooth motion, he crushed out his cigarette and strode towards her. He stopped within a breath of her, the heat from her body warming him. He cocked his head to the side, and captured his bottom lip through his now blunt, human teeth. He brought a hand up and slid the back of his knuckles over her cheek, down her jaw, and along the line of her throat, hovering lightly over the faded scar of his bite.
“Miss me?” His voice was a mix of menace and teasing, lust coating each syllable. Instead of answering, her arm wound around his neck, and her mouth covered his in a searing kiss. Spike stood stunned for half a second before he was kissing her back, his leather clad arms crushing her against his lean form. Time stood still as their mouths glided over each other, and they found themselves adrift on a sea of sensation. Memories and thoughts receded as their bodies responded to each other.
Anne hadn’t realized how much she needed. . .wanted, this. She had wanted to see him, tell him he had a child, and give him the opportunity to be a part of his life. But she hadn’t known until he touched her, that it was HIM she wanted. For both of them.
Spike’s growl filled her as his tongue tangled with hers. As sweet as he remembered, and so hot. He could take a daily trot in the sun, and still not burn the way she made him. He picked her up and braced her against the flimsy wall, pulling her legs up to wrap around his waist. The heels of her boots dug into his thighs, but he didn’t notice. His hands gripped painfully on her hips, and she didn’t care. All that mattered was the feel of his lips on hers, his taste filling her, his cool, hard body pressed against hers, his soft hair flowing through her fingers. Every nerve was alive and singing, fully attuned to him.
Spike lost himself in the taste of her. She still tasted like sunshine, she still felt like sin. Her scent surrounded him, clouding his mind even further and driving his need to the edge. It seemed like the entire world began and ended with her, because nothing before her had touched him this deep. Not even Dru. Five years of wanting poured from him and into her. Five years of searching had come to an end. She was here, and warm and oh so sweet. He really didn’t understand how he could have left her back then. Not when every sense was filled with her, every cell screaming to be joined with this woman, his equal. Spike reluctantly broke away from her mouth to allow her to breathe, and trailed a line of cool, wet kisses along her cheek to her ear.
“Buffy,” he moaned, before capturing the lobe in his teeth. The sound of her real name, husky and soft, pulled her out of her sensual daze. She tightened her fingers in his hair, and wrenched his head back with more force than she had meant. “Bloody hell!” he cursed, releasing his hold in her. “What the fuck was that for?” he growled.
Anne didn’t answer him, too preoccupied with trying to reign in her raging hormones.
“Slayer.” He snarled, the word a mix of lust, anger and frustration.
“Wait, Spike.” She gasped, pressing a hand against his chest, almost as if she was trying to make sure he was real, despite the very intimate contact they had just had.
“What’s the matter?” His tone had softened, and he stepped closer to her again.
“I didn’t think that I would ever see you again.” And there it was. The doubt that she had carried with her since the day she had found out she was pregnant broke free, and her fingers fisted in his shirt, tears springing to her eyes. Suddenly, she was sobbing, and he was gathering her up in his arms, hands running over her back and making her shiver.
“Sh, it’s okay, kitten. I’m here now. It took me a long time, but I’m here.” He whispered against her hair, the scent of apples tickling his nose. She clutched him to her, her tears causing her to shake in his arms. After a few minutes, she calmed, and just relished the feel of his arms around her.
“We need to talk.” She whispered, emotion clogging her throat. Spike frowned at the tone of her voice.
“Come back to my room with me, then,” he said.
“I can’t tonight.” She replied, a slight tinge of regret in her voice. Spike stiffened in her arms, a stab of something nasty piercing his heart.
“Somebody at home waiting.” He bit out each word, anger coating his voice. He felt her sigh, and allowed her to step back.
“Yeah,” she answered simply. She couldn’t see his reaction in the dark room, but she heard the low, dangerous growl and it caused her to shiver.
“Really? And what does he think of his woman working in a place that’s no better than a whorehouse?” The flare of the lighter showed the rage filled lines of his demon visage. *Oh, this is going well* Anne thought, rubbing a hand over her forehead in an attempt to ease the headache forming.
“This isn’t a whorehouse, Spike. And he doesn’t know.” This caused an eruption from the blonde that equaled any volcano.
“HE DOESN’T KNOW! And how do you explain coming home smelling like other men? Or do you shower their stink off before you go home to crawl in next to him and cuddle up for the night?” Anne held tight on her temper, reminding herself that he was only reacting to the non-information that she had given him. But, she didn’t want to blurt it out about Matt, not here. She wanted to be able to have a supposed adult conversation with him. Which would be hard to do if Spike was dust.
“It’s not like that.” She started, before he cut her off again.
“Oh, it’s not. How would he feel if he knew that you were just all over me like a bitch in heat? How would he feel knowing that I can make you burn?” This last bit was said in a low voice, the resonance and pitch accentuating the lilt of his accent. Her body responded even though her temper snapped.
“Do you even THINK before you open your mouth? Or do you just let whatever shit that pops up roll out?” She snapped. “I said it wasn’t like that. Now, if you want to talk, give me the name of your fucking hotel, and I will meet you there tomorrow night after sundown. If you don’t want to hear what I have to say, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Spike dragged deeply on his cigarette, trying to reign in his famous temper. When he finally felt calm enough to speak again, he crushed out the cigarette.
“Fine. I’m staying at the Days Inn on Lexington. Room 12.” He ground out. She didn’t back up when he crowded her, his cool breath tickling her face. “Just make sure your man doesn’t come looking for you. I don’t like sharing. Got my fill of that five years ago.” He finished, crushing his mouth against hers, branding her. Anne slumped against the partition when he released her, unfulfilled arousal making her ache, anger causing her to burn.
~*~*~
“Are you sure this is it?” Xander asked the redhead sitting next to him as he pulled off of Interstate 10 towards San Rios. Willow glared at him in the darkness, before turning to look back out the window.
“Yes” was all she said as she watched the buildings pass by. San Rios was your typical small town, it seemed. Not that much different than Sunnydale. In fact, if it wasn’t for the cacti, the dry desert grass, and the mountains in the distance, she would have thought that they had made a wrong turn somewhere and were home. They were currently traveling down the main street, which took them straight through the middle of town. Darkened storefronts had faces that were reminiscent of the old west. The movie theater looked like the kind from the 1950’s, the Marquee boasting two of the newest releases. Occasionally, a Blockbuster, or a McDonald’s would emerge, their modern structures seeming garish against the rest of the town. When they passed the courthouse, Willow almost giggled. She fully expected to see a gallows constructed in front of the huge brick structure, it’s white columns gleaming in the light from the lamps, with some poor hapless horse thief swinging from the end of a noose. As they made their way into the residential part of town, tiny bungalows and ranchers spread along the road.
“Where to now?” He asked, breaking her away from her thoughts of saloons and gunslingers.
“There. Sleep.” She ordered when the Days Inn came into sight. He looked over at her, clearly about to argue. One look at the resolve face had him changing his mind. It HAD been a long day, and they were both tired. With a sigh, Xander made the turn and maneuvered the old truck into the parking space in front of the office. “Two rooms,” she reminded him as he climbed out of the cab.
“I know,” he said before slamming the door. Willow just raised a brow. Sighing to herself, she stretched her sore muscles out, thankful that she was about to slip into cool sheets. This trip had not been easy on either of them, With a great deal of reluctance, Willow had performed the spell. Then they’d had to get their stories straight on what to tell Giles, and she’d had to finish her finals. Xander had grumbled when she said that she wouldn’t leave before then. Now, they were here, and she was filled with a combination of excitement and trepidation. She wanted to see Buffy, but she didn’t want to cause her pain. Joyce had confided in her, and Willow knew about her son. And she knew who the father was. Of course, she didn’t find out that bit of information out until after Spike had left this last time, or she would have never let Xander talk her out of telling Spike Joyce’s message. It also explained a lot about Buffy’s reluctance to return to her family and friends. Having a child with a soulless, evil vampire that had tried to kill them all on more than one occasion couldn’t have been an easy thing to deal with. Much less having to deal with the shocked, and in some cases appalled, reactions of those that loved her
“Here you go,” Xander said, opening the door. “14 and 16.” He tossed her the key and went to go pull their bags out of the back. Willow got out of the cab and turned to face the direction of the town.
As she looked out at the lights shining from the tiny burg, she hoped with all her heart that she hadn’t made a mistake in coming here with Xander.
~*~*~
Anne walked out of her bedroom, braiding the long length of her hair. Her eyes were distant as she thought about the events of the evening. Seeing Spike, (well, she hadn’t actually seen him, since it was so dark in the room) had opened up a floodgate of emotion she hadn’t realized was there. She had missed him. And since they had spent most of their time trying to kill each other before that fateful day, it seemed a little odd. She had figured whenever she got that little pang in her heart when she looked at Matt, it was because she wished that Spike was there to watch him grow up. To see this miracle that had been given to them, a vampire and a Slayer.
Sighing heavily, she walked into the kitchen and turned on the light. Filling the kettle with water, she felt her skin heat up again at the memory of him pressed against her. After he had spouted out the name of the hotel, he had left, anger radiating off of him. She had waited five full minutes before darting back to the dressing room and using the back entrance to escape Mark’s questioning eyes. She would tell him about it later, she just couldn’t deal with it then. When she had gotten home, she had sent the babysitter off with her full night’s pay, then had put Matt to bed herself. After the third story, he had gone to sleep, his tiny arm wrapped around the stuffed Scooby Mark had given him for his birthday. She had then gone and taken a shower, letting the warm water and her hand wash the tension away. It wasn’t the first time in the past five years that she had pleasured herself thinking of him. At first, she had convinced herself that it was because it was too painful to think of Angel. Then of course there was the full day that she had spent with Spike learning just about everything about sex that she hadn’t gotten to with her first love. So, she told herself that she just had more material to work with there. She had loved Angel, totally and fully, but it had been the blonde vampire that had snuck into her thoughts late at night, when it was quiet. And Matt looking just like him didn’t help.
Putting the kettle on the stove, she turned it on then went in search of the tea that Mark had given her from his grandmother. It was an old Indian brew which was supposed to relieve tension. And boy was she tense. As she drove home, another doubt started to wiggle it’s way to the front of her mind.
What, if after she told him about his son, Spike didn’t want to be a father? He was a vampire. A soulless vampire at that. His life was full of blood, death, and destruction. Hell, he probably ATE children. For that matter, why did she WANT him to know? She sighed as she dropped the homemade teabag into her mug. She knew why. It was because he could also be gentle and caring. She instinctively knew that he would make a good father. And she wanted that for her son. She just had to figure out what she wanted for herself.
Pouring the hot water over the teabag, she thought about her instant reaction to his tender caress. She had often wondered, when she would see the scar on her neck, if he had claimed her with that bite. She hadn’t thought so, because she didn’t think it would’ve been that easy for him to walk away if he had. Granted, now that she looked back, it hadn’t really been that easy. It was just neither thought that they could stay together. They hadn’t parted as enemies, but they didn’t think that they were friends, either.
Pulling out the bottle of aspirin, she downed two then picked up her mug and took it back into her bedroom. She had a lot of thinking to do.
Los Angeles, five years earlier
Buffy and Spike leaned against the hood of the DeSoto, looking up into the starry night sky. He was smoking a cigarette, and she was playing with the straw of her drink. Both were still having a hard time grasping that little more than twenty four hours before, their lives had been changed irreversibly. After they had woken up, they had showered, separately, neither discussing what had happened between them. Then, they had walked out of the mansion, and straight to his car. He hadn’t questioned her when she climbed into the passenger seat, just put the car in gear and left the town of Sunnydale without a backward glance. They hadn’t spoken, each lost in their memories, and the tangled jumble of emotion where the other was concerned. Once they had reached L. A., Spike had pulled into a fast food restaurant, handing her some money before going in search of his own dinner. He hadn’t been into the kill, and he had left the woman alive in an alley before heading back to meet her. She didn’t question him when he returned, merely climbed into the car and waited for him to do the same.
Now, they were here, sitting in a parking lot by the beach, the sound of the waves and people on the boardwalk filling their ears.
“What are you going to do, now?” She asked, chewing on the straw. He took a deep breath, hazarding a glance at her.
“I dunno.” He said with a shrug. “I can’t stay here, though.” She nodded in response, looking thoughtfully at the ocean.
“I have to stay close. At least until the new Slayer shows up in Sunnydale.” Buffy said, fighting back the fresh wave of tears that burned her eyes. Kendra, her mind screamed. He quietly reached out and took her hand, offering comfort once again. She looked down at their joined fingers, wondering why it felt so right.
“I have a place here. Rent’s paid up for a few months, if you want to stay there,” he said, flicking the fag away.
“Thanks,” she whispered, feeling her throat tighten. He stood then, gently tugging her to her feet.
“Come on, let’s go get you settled.”
The place was small, but clean. The door opened into the living room, and to the left was the tiny kitchen. Down a short hall was the single bedroom and bath. The couch and matching chairs were leather, and the coffee table was gold and glass. A large screen tv dominated the wall, along with a VCR and cd player. The bed was a simple queen, with a blue satin comforter thrown across it. Heavy curtains covered all the windows, to protect the occupants from the deadly UV rays of the sun.
They had stood in the bedroom for a minute, not quite sure what to do. Then, Buffy had simply stripped out of her clothes and crawled into the bed, too tired and drained to worry about nerves. When Spike had followed her, she had snuggled into his arms, and was quickly asleep.
When she woke up the next day, she found herself alone, a thick, long envelope on the pillow next to her. Sitting up and wiping sleep out of her eyes, she picked it up, a sharp feeling of dread lancing through her. With a deep breath, she slid her finger under the flap, eyes widening at the amount of money inside. Five stacks of one hundred dollar bills landed on her lap, as well as a letter. Picking it up, she quickly unfolded it and scanned it.
Buffy,
Sorry to leave before you wake up, but, I hate goodbyes. A part of me really wishes I could stay, luv, but we both know that would be a mistake. I’ll never regret what happened between us. It was the first purely beautiful event in my life. Take care of yourself, and be strong. I’ve left you a spot of cash, not for services rendered, so to speak. I want to make sure you’re okay, and your age at the moment will hinder your job aspects. We’re no longer enemies, kitten. Be well, it was an honor to know you.
Spike.
Buffy folded the letter, and put it and the money back in the envelope. Standing, she rushed into the bathroom and threw up, feeling for the first time that she was totally alone. She knew he was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept his absence. The pain hadn’t seemed as sharp with him there.
After she was done, she flushed the toilet, and splashed some cold water on her face. She then padded back to the bedroom, pausing as she was climbing back into bed. Her eyes were drawn to something black on the floor. Bending down to retrieve it, she came up with his t-shirt. Tears ran down her face as she lifted it to her nose. A brief sniff brought his scent to her. Soap, and something cool and spicy. Slipping it quickly over her head, she took comfort in it and climbed back into bed, quickly falling back into an exhausted slumber.