Chapter 11
“There she is,” she heard William’s voice speaking to her as she tried to open her eyes. Her focus was hazy, the dim light of the candles on the far wall doing nothing to help her gain her surroundings. “Beginning to think you’d sleep the night away.”
She twitched a bit, catching a tone in his voice that was unfamiliar and not, darker somehow. When she opened her eyes all the way, she knew it was him who was speaking to her. Vampire William. Elizabeth tried to move and realized she’d been shackled by her arms, held captive in some dungeon type place though it had been decorated like a bedroom. Her heart raced and she turned to the vampire with pleading eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she noticed another woman in the room tied to a cement post. She had long raven hair and hollow eyes though she didn’t seem in distress, a point that Elizabeth found unsettling.
“Who is she?”
The vampire blinked slowly, a smile playing on his lips as his eyes raked over Elizabeth’s form. “Might have knocked her one a bit too hard, eh, Dru?”
“Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike,” the woman said in a childlike tone. “You’ve taken my chair and the music hasn’t stopped.”
Elizabeth squirmed, frightened with her surroundings and wary of the vampire’s eyes on her. The woman was obviously crazy, as she seemed to find delight in her restraints. Had William tied her up?
“What’s going on?” she asked with fear evident in her voice. This was William, surely he wouldn’t cause her any harm, but there was something odd going on.
“Simple,” he answered, still smiling warmly. It was unnerving to have him look at her that way, so calm and reassuring when she was close to panicking, but maybe he was there to rescue her. “I’m going to prove something.” He moved closer to her, so close she could feel his breath on her neck. Elizabeth gasped and his eyebrows dropped in thought, almost reluctant but he inhaled sharply and said, “I love you.”
“William,” she whispered, her chin quivering as tears welled in her eyes. “What’s going on? Where am I?”
The woman started laughing behind them and the vampire’s soft expression hardened, turning around to bark at her, “Can do without the laugh track, Dru.”
“But it’s so funny,” she grinned, “I knew, you know. Long before you did, Spike. Long before you were born, I knew you loved her. The pixies in my head whispered it to me. It’s why I found you, why I made you.”
Spike’s face twisted in confusion and he backed away from Elizabeth, running his shaking hands through his hair. “Shut your bleeding mouth,” he said flatly, turning back to Elizabeth as he tried to gain composure. “You can’t deny that there’s something between us, Slayer.”
“Why do you call me that? Get me out of here, please, William, please.”
Spike blinked rapidly and she saw that he almost budged, almost gave in to her but he’d obviously set out to accomplish something with her that evening, though what, she didn’t know. She started crying and the woman, Dru, laughed again.
“Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and can’t tell where to find them,” she sang, her head rolling from side to side with that eerie smile that hadn’t gone away.
“Please don’t cry,” he said softly, tentatively raising a hand to brush her hair out of her face. “Buffy, don’t cry.”
“I just want to go home.”
He sighed, a muscle ticked in his jaw as he backed away again. “This isn’t…what the hell is this?” he shouted at her.
“I don’t know!”
Drusilla laughed louder. “Ooh, here we go again,” she started humming and the candles on the wall flickered as a breeze wafted into the room, blowing harder until the flames went out and it was completely dark.
“Buffy?” it was a different voice that called to her this time, a male, and she felt an arm wrapped around her stomach. She jerked sharply away and winced when her elbow made contact with someone’s jaw. “Jeez, Buff,” he groaned and she heard him get up and fumble with something. Then a light turned on and she saw a bulky young man coming to sit down on a bed beside her. “Having another slayer dream? You were shouting.”
“Who are you?” she said evenly, backing away from him and tucking the sheets beneath her arms when she realized she was naked.
He looked at her strangely, cocking his head to the side and then he sighed when his expression seemed resigned with something. “Great. You’ve got amnesia or some weird spell on you again. At least it’s never boring,” he joked, but Elizabeth wasn’t laughing.
“Tell me who you are right now.”
“It’s me. Riley? Your boyfriend?” He had eyes like a cow, she thought, vulnerable and wide and, wait, boyfriend?
“Who?”
He sighed again and got out of bed, pulling on a pair of pants. “I’m calling Giles.”
“Wait,” she said frantically, reaching out to grab him, “don’t go. Tell me what’s going on, please?”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but then again, I never know what the hell is going on with you.” She didn’t like his tone, not at all. He looked at the ceiling and his neck tensed before he turned towards her again. “I’ll be right back.”
She watched him leave and settled back into the bed and debated what to do next. She heard a noise from the bedroom window, like a branch or a rock hitting the glass. She narrowed her eyes and focused, jumping when she heard it again and then she heard someone shouting from outside. She wrapped the sheets around herself and walked to the window and opened it, peering into the darkness.
“Slayer!”
She looked down and saw the William vampire standing below her, smiling like a deviant as he said, “Well, look who dressed up for the occasion.”
“Why are you here?”
He pursed his lips and looked away, hurt. “Saw the light on, is all. Just passin’ by. Won’t bother you an’…Captain boring any longer. Let me know when his fifteen minutes of fame are over.” He started to walk away and she panicked when the one familiar face in this madness was threatening to leave. She called his name to catch his attention, tying the sheet tightly around her as she placed one leg out the window.
“I don’t know who this guy is,” she said as she crawled out onto the landing, “but he’s giving me the serious creepin’ willies.”
Spike smirked and watched her climb out onto the landing, bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement. “Smartest thing you ever said, pet.”
She sat on the shingles and debated the best way to get down. “Get me down from here!”
“Not that I don’t mind the getup,” he said as he climbed a tree near the window, “but you do have clothes in there that might be a little more appropriate.”
“Shh,” she hissed, “what if he hears you? Just hurry up and get me down!”
In seconds he was on the landing with her, smiling like a little boy and that expression alone was enough to set her at ease. “Haven’ you done this a million times or do you just get off on the damsel in distress bit?”
“Are you going to help me or are you going to talk all night?”
He bit his lip and chuckled. “All right, up you go,” he said with a grunt as he scooped her into his arms and gracefully leapt off the side of the house onto the ground.
“You could have killed me!” she shouted when she was on her feet again, swatting him on the shoulder with one hand as she held up the sheet with the other, growing more furious when he continued to laugh.
“But I didn’t, did I? Safe as houses.” He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow. “Are you naked under there?”
“William!” she gasped, ducking her head to hide her blush.
“Oh, this is dangerous,” he clucked his tongue and lit a cigarette. “Me an’ a half naked slayer. Never a good combo.”
“Give me your jacket or something.”
He rolled his eyes and shrugged out of his coat, clenching his cigarette in his teeth. “The things I do for you, I swear.” He handed her the coat and she buttoned it up, letting the sheet drop to the ground once she was covered and Spike shuddered. “Never takin’ that to the cleaners,” he mumbled.
”What?”
“Nothin’. So, we gonna stand here an’ talk about the weather or did you have a place in mind?”
“Let’s go to your home. It’s safe there.”
Spike closed his eyes and his lips twisted as if it took every ounce of strength not to say what was on his mind but finally he said, “Right. Let’s go.”
They walked to a cemetery and Elizabeth started to get nervous. “William?”
“Mm?” He didn’t know what this William business was about, but he decided to let it go for the time being. He was taking a half nude slayer to his crypt and wasn’t about to go mucking it up with stupid corrections.
“This is a cemetery.”
“Two points for the observant one,” he smiled.
“But why are we in a cemetery?”
“Because we’re goin’ to my place,” he said slowly.
“Oh,” she frowned. She didn’t remember any cemeteries around William’s house but then she figured he’d know a short cut. “Right, I knew that.”
Suddenly, the vampire wasn’t at her side anymore as he’d taken off at breakneck speed, snarling and advancing on a demon that appeared out of nowhere. Elizabeth screamed and dropped to the ground, hoping she wouldn’t be seen though she peeked over a tombstone to watch the commotion. The vampire moved with such grace and skill that she was transfixed by his movements, silent as she watched in awe. In mere seconds, the demon was taken out and Spike laughed happily, turning to face her.
“Never gets old,” he smiled, walking towards her. “Are you hiding?”
She nervously stood up. “Well, I didn’t want to get killed! What was that thing?”
“Dunno,” he shrugged. “Ugly thing. You could’ve taken ‘im, though,” he frowned. “You feelin’ all right?”
“Of course,” she said warily and then her demeanor changed into excitement. “But you should have seen what you just did! It was amazing!”
“Yeah?” he smiled proudly.
“Oh, yeah. You were like, all over that thing! He didn’t even have a chance! God, you’re so fast!”
The expression on his face warmed and he visibly puffed up, swaggering with confidence as they started to walk through the cemetery. “Thanks,” he all but blushed. “I learned some of my nastiest moves from you, Slayer. You fight like nobody’s business.”
“What? I don’t fight,” she laughed.
He snorted. “If you’re fishing for compliments, luv, it’s not workin’.” They neared a crypt and he pushed a door inward, bowing gracefully. “After you.”
“Um…what it this?”
“It’s my place, Slayer. Been here a hundred times. Now are you coming or not?”
She stood outside the door for a moment, peering inside. It looked harmless and if anything bad were to happen, he’d obviously proven he could protect her. “I’m coming.”
He smiled as she walked inside and he quickly shut the door behind them. “I’ll see if I can find you something to wear.” He disappeared to the lower level and Elizabeth walked around the crypt, studying the various items around the room. She saw a book of poems and a leather-bound journal and smiled, pushing up the leather sleeve of Spike’s duster that hung over her fingers to touch the binding.
“Here you are,” he said softly behind her. She turned around and took the black tee shirt he’d offered with a smile.
“You still write.”
“Uh,” he fidgeted nervously, “are you hungry? Got some Doritos left over from when Clem came by,” he said as he walked away from her, obviously wanting to change the subject.
She sat down on the sofa, clutching the tee-shirt in one hand. “I’m ok. Come sit down.” She patted the seat next to her and bit her lip. Spike stood frozen for a moment before he swallowed and slowly walked over to her and sat down on the edge, keeping a safe distance.
“So, how’s life?” he said awkwardly, not knowing how to have a conversation with the girl who’d made his life hell for so long, the girl he’d fallen in love with just weeks ago.
“It’s ok,” she smiled, snuggling into the sofa and smiling at him. “Well, except for the memory loss. That kinda blows. But you’re nice.”
He smiled, his eyebrows twitching in confusion. “You lost your memory? Well, that explains things.”
“But I remember you,” she said happily. “I think? Have we met before you took me to your house?”
Assuming she meant his crypt and not the Victorian homestead she was referring to, he said, “Of course we have. The important thing is that you remember me. And that we’re lovers,” he smiled, hoping she’d fall for it. The bint had lost her memory and he was evil after all. Wouldn’t do his reputation any good if he didn’t take full advantage of the situation. “Insatiable lovers,” he purred, sliding his arm on the back of the sofa behind her as he bit his lip.
“Oh, I know that,” she blushed. “I mean, we haven’t done…you know. But we’ve done other stuff.”
His eyes widened and he cleared his throat. “Course we have. What um,” he fiddled with a button on his leather duster that she was still wearing, “what have we done again?”
“Well,” she giggled, curling into his side and getting more comfortable, “there was that time in your bedroom,” she said silkily, walking her fingers up his chest.
“Oh yeah,” he smiled, inching closer to her, “when I did that thing.”
“You didn’t do anything,” she laughed. “You just laid back and let me play.”
His voice was smoky with desire when he said, “Feel like playin’ again?”
“I’m sleepy,” she yawned and laid her cheek on his chest. “Can you just hold me for a while?”
Without answering, his arms immediately wrapped around her body and he inhaled deeply, nuzzling his nose in her hair. “Tell me this isn’t a dream,” he muttered.
“Yeah, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this fantasy,” she smiled. “You’d come crawling into my bedroom and kidnap me from Riley and…” she gasped, sitting up straight. “Oh my God.”
“What?”
“You…I remember this.” She stood up and paced the floor of his crypt, squeezing her eyes shut and grabbing a fistful of her hair. “God, why can’t I remember anything else? It’s like this is real but it isn’t real.”
Spike studied her carefully. “What do you remember?”
“I remember you and me, here. But I’m remembering this as a fantasy…this didn’t happen.”
“You aren’t making any sense, Slayer,” he said slowly. “Try and think this out, ok?”
“I am, and that’s the problem! Earlier, you had me chained to a wall but I don’t remember that!”
He smiled wistfully. “Sounds like somethin’ I’d do, though. Were you naked?”
“No! God, I wasn’t naked! Focus, here!”
“Pet, I’m tryin’ but I don’ know what you’re on about.” He stood up, frustrated and reached in her pocket to fish out his smokes and lit one. “Are you sayin’ this isn’t real? Because it sure as hell feels real,” he exhaled a stream of smoke and then shook his head in frustration. “Wait, no it doesn’t! You’d never come home with me, not like this! Oh, for fuck’s sake! This is a dream, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know! Quit yelling at me!”
“But we’ve been over this, haven’t we? Things have changed.” He was wearing his duster now, standing in a darkened alley.
“The only thing different is that I’m disgusted with myself,” she spat, realizing she was dressed. She covered her mouth and looked at him for answers. “Why did I just say that?”
“Maybe because you’re an uptight bitch!” he shouted at her and then his expression turned sincere when he said, “I admit, you’ve got me by the short hairs. I love you. You know it. But I got my rocks back. You felt something last night.”
“What happened last night?” she asked honestly. This was getting really weird.
He snorted and shook his head, walking ahead of her. “We don’t have time for this. Gotta find the bit, remember?”
“Who?”
“Your sister? Dawn? Out with Willow? Rack, the big nasty with the magic? Are you in there?” His expression softened when he saw tears well in her eyes. “Oh, for—what’s wrong, now?”
“I’m scared.”
He inhaled sharply, taking in her smaller than normal appearance, her teary eyes and walked back to her, ducking his head. “You don’ have to be. I’m an idiot, I know. Say the wrong things an’…just…let’s take it a step at a time, yeah? Won’ push it.”
“Why does this keep happening? We keep going around and around and I don’t know where I am any more or if this is real or a dream or if I’m going to wake up somewhere else.”
He carefully reached for her and when she didn’t flinch, he wrapped her in a comforting embrace, thinking her rambling was about something more than just a confusing dream. “It’s going to be ok, Buffy. You’ve been through a lot lately, I know. Tried to be your friend, tried so many things an’ I mucked it up. I’m sorry, luv,” he whispered, smoothing down her braided pigtails and rubbing her back.
“I don’t remember this,” she cried into his shoulder. “Why don’t I remember this?”
“Shh,” he soothed her, rocking her gently. “Try not to think about it now. Gotta find Dawn. Gotta be strong, right?”
She nodded, calming down a bit but missed his comforting touches when he pulled away from her. “Don’t leave me.”
“Won’t,” he said with a sad smile. “Can’t. God help me, I can’t ever leave you.”
Her breath gurgled in her throat when she gasped between sobs and clung to him again, pressing her lips to his. “Don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t leave,” she said over and over, kissing him desperately. Her body shook with heavy sobs and he held her tighter, moaning with a mixture of relief and agony, returning every sweet kiss she gave him with one of his own. She heard him calling out to her, his voice turning faint as she reached out for him, something pulling her back into the darkness.
And then she heard him again, her name said in the stillness of her bedroom, the fog lifted and everything clear again.
“Elizabeth? Elizabeth, wake up!”
“William,” she said with a sleepy voice, rubbing her eyes as she looked up at him.
“Darling,” he whispered, kissing her forehead and sweeping her hair out of her eyes, “are you all right? I could hear you shouting from my bedroom and I was worried about you.”
She looked at his blue eyes, worried brow and brown curls, his disheveled appearance from how he’d obviously thrown clothing on at the last minute to check on her and she started crying, clinging to him.
“Shh,” he soothed her, rocking her gently. “Try not to think about it now, Elizabeth. You’re all right. It was just a dream.”
She sobbed into his neck, her fingernails digging into his flesh. “Tell me it’s no longer a dream. Tell me this is real.”
“This is real, love,” he said in a pained voice, crawling onto the bed to lie beside her. “I’m here. I’ve got you. Shh, don’t cry.”
She focused on his voice, letting the low baritones sweep over her, reassuring her. “I love you, William,” she whispered, holding him tight against her.
He screwed his eyes shut and let out a choked moan. “I love you, too, Elizabeth. So much.”
He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and finally her lips, smoothing his hands down her side and arms until she’d calmed down. Long moments passed with him rocking her gently, gratefully admiring the woman he’d come to love so dearly, watching her face soften as she finally fell asleep. He gingerly pulled from her warm body and kissed her sweetly before he blew out the candle by her bed and walked back to his room.
* * * *
William straightened his waistcoat as he walked into the dining room for breakfast. His mother was already there and he frowned, turning to John.
“Johann, why are there only two place settings?”
John stepped away from his station to bow to his master and said, “Miss Elizabeth will not be having breakfast this morning. She’s requested a meal be brought to her room.”
“Dear,” Anne said motioning to his seat, “let’s sit down.”
He sighed and sat at the table, nodding when his serviette was placed in his lap. “Is she not feeling well?”
“Evelyn said she was frantic about something,” Anne said as she sipped a glass of water. “Writing, she said.”
“Writing?” William quirked a brow. “Perhaps I’ll check on her after we eat.”
“I don’t know, I think it might do us all a favor if she stays upstairs.”
William huffed. “I thought we were past that.”
“I don’t mean that,” she quickly amended. “It’s just our guests.”
“Guests?”
“William,” she groaned, “you’ve known about this for weeks. The Underwoods are coming for tea.”
“Bloody—” his lips tensed and he wiped his mouth. “I forgot all about that. Can we not cancel? The last thing I need is Cecily Underwood sniffing about the house.”
“You cannot cancel the day they are to arrive! Besides,” she smiled as she buttered her toast, “what better way to announce your courtship and be done with it?”
He shook his head, amused with his mother. “Not that she would mind too much.”
“You never know, dear. Women have a way of becoming jealous when what they thought would always be theirs suddenly…isn’t.”
William and Anne laughed as they finished their meal while upstairs in a bedroom; a crying and frantic blonde was desperately trying to remember her past.
Elizabeth was sprawled out on her bedroom floor, writing down everything she could remember. Names, places, whatever stood out from her dream that might be important. It wasn’t helping her get any closer to recovering her memory, and in fact, was proving to be more of a frustration than anything else. She let out an aggravated sigh and read one of the pages she’d written on.
Spike – William
Dru
Riley – boyfriend?
Giles
Dawn
Willow
She read the names over and over again, hoping that it would spark some memory but the only thing that came to mind, the one thing that bothered her, was the fantasy that was as clear as day. Riley, who she gathered she was betrothed to or involved with, was a fact that didn’t set well with her at all. How could she tell William that she was with another man? Perhaps she’d run away from him due to an illicit affair between she and Spike, but then that didn’t make sense either. It was obvious that Spike was William. She had no doubt that they were one in the same, but how was that possible? Surely William would have remembered her.
And what about the strange way everyone dressed?
Or the fact that William was a freaking vampire? Was that a metaphor for something? She didn’t know, but she didn’t want to be with Riley, she didn’t want to be with anyone but William and the more she thought about her fantasy, the more her fear grew. It was obvious that she was forced somehow to be with Riley because there was no way she’d ever find someone like that attractive. And William, or Spike as he was in the dream, was her source of escape, the man who would rescue her from her lover with the cow eyes. Perhaps it wasn’t the past, but a foretelling of things to come. Perhaps she’d had that fantasy before she ever knew William, as if they were destined to be together. Perhaps she had run away from Riley and somehow ended up in this place, in his home.
But why the name Spike? What did that mean?
And who were these other people? She had a sister, that much was revealed to her. Dawn. But why couldn’t she remember her? And who was Willow? Or Giles? Was Giles her father? Riley’s?
“I hate this!” she shouted, throwing the pages on the ground and stood up to walk around. It was infuriating to have these visions of people and times that she couldn’t remember, but she was getting closer. And maybe Elizabeth wasn’t her name at all since everyone seemed so hell-bent on calling her Buffy. What kind of name was that, anyway?
She went over to her trunk, the only other object that could link her to her past and she opened it, knowing there was nothing inside since Evelyn had unpacked her things. But still she opened it, looking at the floral fabric that lined the inside walls. Giving up, she went to close it but something caught her eye. She opened it back up and spotted a tiny silk ribbon sticking out of the seam along the lid to the trunk. She tugged on it and sure enough, the lid came loose and revealed a secret compartment. She flinched as items fell into the trunk with a loud clunking noise. Her face scrunched in confusion at what she saw. Several wooden stakes that had been hand carved, a cross, a bottle of holy water and a few daggers.
“Ok, this is getting out of control. I was either a religious freak or a vigilante.” She inspected each item carefully, hoping that by holding them in her hands she’d magically regain her memory, even though it seemed fruitless. With a sigh, she gathered the items and carefully placed them back in the lid of the trunk, her eyes growing wide when she saw a leather bound book tucked in the corner. She pulled it out and scooted back on the floor against the bed and opened it.
The first page had been inscribed with a hand written note.
Buffy,
I know you hate recording things, but I thought this particular mission might be one to remember. If nothing else, it might at least be a diversion when you inevitably become bored. And the book was on sale. It’s nice, isn’t it?
Sincerely,
Rupert Giles
She flipped through the book only to find empty pages. Elizabeth dropped her head onto the mattress and closed her eyes with defeat. This was ridiculous.