Chapter 8
Buffy sat quietly, staring out the window, as Riley’s car sped along the interstate. She had barely said two words to him since they started for Los Angeles, and she felt guilty. She felt guilty for the look of hurt in Spike’s eyes, and she felt guilty for knowing that she accepted this date with Riley and nothing would come of it. Maybe if it was before Spike had come home, she would have been able to see Riley as more of a boyfriend and move on with her life, but she couldn’t now.
The kiss still echoed through her mind. She could still feel his lips pressed against hers. Still smell the traces of cologne and tobacco that clung to him. Most of all, she felt the passion that he had ignited. If she really wanted to get even with him, she would use that passion against him and be with Riley tonight, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t use Riley that way, and she couldn’t put Spike through the amount of pain that she had been dealing with for the past few months. She also knew it wouldn’t make her feel any better.
Seeing the lights of the city in the distance, Buffy listened as Riley cleared his throat.
“Are you okay?”
Buffy looked up at him in surprise. “I’m fine.”
“You just seem a little bit…tense, I guess.”
“Riley, I’m sorry. I know this can’t be very fun for you. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.”
“Well, we’re almost there. Maybe I’ll be able to get your mind off of whatever it is,” he said, turning to smile at her.
Buffy offered him a slight grin in return before turning her attention back to the window.
* * * * *
Spike sat in his father’s home, nursing a beer and staring up at the moon. He heard the click of the lock as his father walked in, flipping on lights.
“Will! What are doing, sitting in the dark, son?”
“She’s gone, dad,” he said, never taking his eyes off the moon.
Giles sighed. “I know it feels that way now, but you can’t give up hope.”
“No, dad.I mean she’s really gone. She left for L. A. tonight…with another man.” Finally tearing his gaze away from the window, he turned his blood-shot eyes to watch his father drop into a nearby chair.
“Oh, dear,” Giles murmured, quickly whipping off his glasses to polish them.
Spike smiled a little. “I said a little more than that.”
“When does she return?”
“Tomorrow, I think.”
“She still loves you, son.”
“How do you know?” he asked disbelievingly.
“Because love is not an emotion you can turn on and off. You can forget about it for brief amounts of time, and it can get weak or strong as time goes by, but you can never just shut it off.”
“She can move on, though,” Spike said, looking into his beer bottle.
“Yes, she can, but I know for a fact that she still loves you.”
“She told you?”
“She told me.”
Spike felt tears of happiness flood his eyes and cursed himself for acting like such a ponce.
“I want her back, dad.”
“I know you do. She wants you back, too. However, she’s a young woman who’s been burned by the man she trusted. And I’m not saying that to lecture or scold you- it’s just a simple fact. She was a girl who, when you went away, sent all of her hope and love with you, and what she got in return forced her to grow up rather swiftly. Now, what you need to do is decide whether you can do justice to the woman who is here now, or whether you want to let her go.”
“I want her, dad. I know I can be better. It was just all too much, too fast, and I cracked. I never meant to hurt her that way, and if I had it all to do over again, there’s no way I would. I just wish she was here with me, the way it was. You know, I didn’t even get mad at Oz for spilling it to Willow. I knew I got what I deserved, and he was just protecting his friend.”
“You’re growing, son. Now, what are you going to do to get this girl back?”
* * * * *
Buffy walked through her front door the next day with a heavy sigh. It was definitely not the fun-filled trip she had been hoping for. After dodging Riley’s advances all night and narrowly getting out of having to share a bed with him, Buffy felt emotionally drained. She had just spent the last two hours sitting in his car, out in the driveway, explaining over and over again why they couldn’t be involved. Apparently the first few times she had stated that she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, Riley’s position never wavered from telling her that she was ‘The One.’
Throwing her bag down next to the entryway table, she slowly headed toward the voices in the kitchen. Walking into the room, she stood frozen in the doorway as she saw Spike sitting on the counter, talking and laughing with her mother and sister.
“Hey, guys,” she said when they didn’t acknowledge her arrival. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Oh, nothing, honey. Spike here was just amusing an old woman by listening to her stories of the gallery’s clients,” her mom spoke up.
Buffy and Spike’s eyes stayed riveted to each other before Buffy nodded. “Well, that’s.nice. I, uh, I think I’m going to run up and get a shower and a nap. It’s been a long day.”
“Okay, honey.”
“Actually, Buffy,” Spike spoke up as she turned to leave the room. “Can I talk to you for just a second?”
She turned to look at him before taking a deep breath. “Sure.”
Spike followed her into the living room, where they stood facing each other.
“How was your night, luv?”
“It was okay. Nothing spectacular. Just dinner, dancing, and a Broadway play.”
Spike raised an eyebrow at her. “And that’s nothing spectacular?”
Buffy smiled and put her face in her hands. “Oh God, I just sounded like a Grade A snob, didn’t I? I didn’t mean it like that. It wasn’t the places we went it- was the company I was in.”
“Aaaaah,” Spike said, his face lighting up. “So…Captain Cardboard turned out to be mind-numbingly dull, huh?”
“Spike,” she said in a warning tone.
“Sorry, luv,” he said with a smile. “I just thought I’d ask if you wanted to go to the movies tonight.”
“Spike, I don’t know-”
“Buffy, I’ll behave myself, I promise. I just want to spend some time with you.”
“Okay,” she said with a smile. “Pick me up at six, and I’ll pick the movie.”
“It’s a date.”
“Spike.”
“Deal, deal, I meant deal,” he said with another devilish smirk. “I’ll see you tonight.”