Chapter 46: Awkward
This chapter is unbetaed. Please lemme know if there are any mistakes!
Thanks to dmf109, DauntlessGrace Meavepagan and Amayuscula for reviewing the last chapter. A shout out to -Carrie-Ann- for spamming me with a bunch of reviews as she read the story from the beginning. Thanks so much! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the fic so far!
Finally, *digital confetti* for Sunalso for reviewing each and every chapter of this thing. That’s a heck of a lot of reviews! I appreciated each and every single one of them, and you made me giggle over and over with your reactions. Because of all of your wonderful feedback I am dedicating this chapter to you. *grins*
When Buffy exited her mother’s car on Monday morning she instantly regretted convincing her mom that she’d be fine to go back to school. Maybe she should have taken that extra day.
She’d expected a little attention, maybe a few curious looks, but what she stepped into was more like stepping into the Twilight Zone.
Every. Single Person. stopped what they were doing when she walked by. It was insane! Buffy ducked her head and forged on. Walking through the halls was like being stuck inside a goldfish bowl. Obviously word of her accident had gotten around, something she had hoped wouldn’t happen. Because all the way across the lawn, up the steps and through the door, and in her travels down the halls, the entire time people stared.
Mostly out of curiosity, some of it innocent…
“Hey Buffy.”
“Nice to have you back Summers.”
…and then some not so friendly stares and comments.
“Have a nice trip, dork?”
Buffy shot a glare in Harmony’s direction, tugged on her backpack and walked faster to her locker. She just wanted to escape; there were not many things Buffy disliked more than being the centre of attention.
“I heard you like split your head open and stuff.”
Buffy inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to keep her temper. But she didn’t have a lot of patience where Harmony was concerned. That might have a little something to do with the fact she was Spike’s ex.
“Nope, no split head. I’m fine.”
Harmony folded her arms under her chest, inadvertently pushing her ample breasts up. “So, you totally ruined poor Spikey’s chances at a trophy, for nothing? Because what… a bump on the head?”
Ribbon… Buffy mentally corrected. An annoyed sigh rolled off her shoulders. Obviously Harmony wasn’t going to lose interest as quick as she normally did.
She didn’t really want to go into what happened, least of all with her, but he also didn’t want false stories circulating. Keeping her back turned she answered. “It was a little more serious than a bump on the head, Harmony.”
“Doesn’t look like it.” Harmony huffed with irritation. She wasn’t kidding about the split head thing, that’s what she’d heard. And she’d hoped there’d at least be bruising. “There’s not even any bruising,” she pointed out.
“Sorry to disappoint.”
The sarcasm flew right over Harmony’s head, not that it was much of a surprise. “Whatever. Let’s get to the real point here.”
“Yes, let’s,” Buffy replied with faux enthusiasm. “I wouldn’t want to take up any more of your precious time.”
“Like, I know that!” Harmony huffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Just because I have a life.”
Buffy chose to ignore the insult, wanting this conversation over and done with. “You were saying?”
“Oh right. Well, you totally know that Spikey didn’t compete because of you.”
Buffy turned around to face the blonde, meeting the glare she received with one of her own.
“I didn’t ask him to do that, Harmony.”
Harmony laughed, loudly. “Oh that’s right! You can’t tell him what to do anymore, can you?”
Buffy’s gaze narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
A smirk twisted her lips into an ugly sneer. “Well he dumped you, right?”
Buffy did a very convincing impersonation of a goldfish, mouth wide open with shock. “What?”
“You’re not together anymore, right?” Harmony’s tone had lightened; obviously she was pleased with the responses she received. There was nothing like confirming gossip. “So obviously he dumped you.”
The step forward Buffy took was involuntary. Her break-up with Spike was none of Harmony’s business, and the glare she pasted on her face expressed her intense displeasure at the bimbo’s blunt questioning. “I don’t know what you’ve been sniffing this morning Harmony, but you’re way off base.”
“Oooh,” Harmony mocked. “Looks like I touched a nerve.”
~*~*~
Spike was running late, as usual. And he really didn’t want to be late today, especially since a little red bird had informed him that Buffy would be back to school today. He steered quickly into the car park, pulled the car in a spot, snatched up his backpack from the back seat and leapt out of the vehicle.
After the conversation with Buffy at the hospital Spike had driven home, via a liquor store. Thanks to his fake ID he’d scored himself a bottle of Scotch and one hell of a hangover the next day. It was after midday before he’d woken, so he hadn’t bothered going to school… now he wished he had, if only for being able to set the record straight before rumour mill got hold of the story.
Judging by the clusters of whispering students she was already here. Any hopes he’d entertained that the story of the accident wasn’t out were immediately dashed. A couple looks were shot in his direction and they were innocent enough. Maybe there was some other piece of news doing the rounds…
And then someone clapped him on the back.
“Way to go, Spike.”
“Yeah Thornton, good save of the damsel.”
Well shit.
~*~*~
It didn’t take long for Spike to find Buffy. All he had to do was follow the stares. To say he was surprised to see her talking, with Harmony, was an understatement.
“So, obviously he dumped you.”
Spike closed his eyes against the whine of her voice. Harmony was if nothing dependable when it came to stirring and gossip. They were her two favourite hobbies. And it seemed she’d set her sights on Buffy.
He began pushing through the crowd that had formed to watch the girls face off, as quick as he could.
“I don’t know what you’ve been sniffing this morning Harmony, but you’re way off base.”
A grin stretched across Spike’s face, surprise quickly followed by pride filling him. Why he ever thought Buffy would need—let’s not even think about want—his help dealing with one of Queen C’s little cats he didn’t know.
“Oooh,” Harmony mocked. “Looks like I touched a nerve.”
“And I’m about to touch a nerve in your face if you don’t back the hell off!”
A murmur went through the crowd, and they began to close ranks as some fool off the football squad started a ‘fight! fight!’ chant.
“Eww, gross. Did you guys hear that?” Harmony asked no-one in particular. “You’re such a freak, it’s no wonder Spike dumped you.”
Another ripple went through the crowd, and Spike burst through the ranks just in time to catch the look of pain that washed Buffy’s face, before she quickly concealed it.
“Back off Harm,” he demanded.
Harmony and Buffy both spun in his direction, fixing him with their gazes. One of—what he assumed was meant to be a poor attempt at—seduction, the other one of regret. Spike’s heart sank a little.
Buffy, for her part, was surprised. The last person she’d expected to step to her defence was Spike. Oh she knew he cared, but his little speech about backing off and letting her go the other night was pretty damn convincing. She figured he’d be avoiding her, yet here he was.
Maybe he’s not here for you... a jealous little voice whispered in her ear.
“Spikey!” Harmony chirped. “I was just talking about you baby. I’ve missed you.”
Buffy turned away from the spectacle, not wanting a bar of it. If Spike was going to reconcile with Harmony then she wanted to be far, far away. The crowd seemed to realise the chick fight they’d hoped for was not going to happen, and dispersed, making it easy for Buffy to continue up the hall to her locker
“Sod off.”
Without even looking for a reaction Spike took off after Buffy, leaving Harmony to huff her annoyance by herself.
“Buffy, Buffy wait!” Spike called.
She knew she could ignore him, but that would probably just create another scene and the last thing Buffy wanted was more attention focussed on her.
Making a snap decision she opened a classroom door she stepped inside, checking to make sure it was empty. Finding the coast clear she held the door open and waited for Spike, before closing it behind him. Needing space she headed across to a desk, leaned against it and faced him, her arms folded across her chest protectively.
“What do you want, Spike?”
Spike held his hands up, almost in a gesture of surrender—or maybe to show her where he was keeping them because she seemed so darned skittish—and took a seat at the desk next the one she was currently leaning against.
“Just to talk,” he said easily, before his tone became more serious. “I wanted to… I wanted to see how you were doing.”
When he ran a hand through his hair Buffy realised he was nervous, and she almost smiled. What a pair they made… both of them too scared to be around the other.
“I’m fine. I spent the last couple days on the couch recuperating.”
Spike nodded, latching onto the crumb of conversation to prolong being around her. “Doctor’s orders?”
“Mom’s.”
“Smart woman,” Spike praised, scratching his head. “So, are you training tonight?”
Buffy nodded. Her mom hadn’t wanted her to, but the doctors had given her to all clear. And she wasn’t afraid, so there was no reason she shouldn’t return to swimming.
“Mom, didn’t want me to, but I wanted things…” She searched for the right words, but couldn’t find them.
Spike supplied them for her. “To go back to normal?”
She nodded in agreement, and then silence fell between them. It was that awkward uncomfortable kind too, the kind that made people fidget unnecessarily. It was the kind of silence where a ticking clock seems to thunder.
Buffy shuffled her feet.
Spike picked at his chipped nail polish.
She looked around the room absently.
He drummed his fingers on the desk.
Her new shoes became the whole focus of her attention.
His was considering the likelihood that these school desks were designed too hard and uncomfortable as a form of torture.
It was the kind of silence where you wanted desperately for an interruption or a distraction, something to make the uncomfortableness stop. But you also didn’t want to be the one to break it.
Buffy cracked first. “Well, I should probably… get to class,” she suggested uneasily.
“Yeah,” Spike agreed with a nod. “Yeah, me too. Class.”
“Okay… so.”
She shuffled her feet again.
He ran a hand through his hair.
She folded her arms around herself. “So, see ya.”
“Bye.”
When Spike didn’t move Buffy hesitated for a moment, shifting her weight from one side to the other, before dropping her hands to her sides and heading for the door.
“Summers…”
Buffy froze, equal parts relieved and dismayed. Relieved because he wanted to talk to her again, and dismayed at the impersonal moniker. Summers was what he called her before… before they were friends.
She turned slowly, meeting his eyes. His expression was soft, almost tender. Buffy felt some of the tension drain away from her in response.
“You…” He paused to clear his throat, before commenting quietly. “You look good.”
Buffy squirmed beneath his steady gaze, embarrassed. She dropped her eyes to the floor, unsure of how to respond to the… compliment? Was it really even a compliment? Or was it a statement of fact. Buffy had absolutely no idea how to take it.
While she was over her puzzle Spike was struggling with one of his own.
Finding the courage to ask what he really needed to know.
When her gaze flicked up to him again, before she focussed on the wall behind him again, he realised she was feeling just as strange about this whole thing as he was. So instead of dwelling he outright asked what was on the top of his mind. What he needed to know.
“Are you really okay?”
“Yeah, I am,” she responded. Buffy lifted her eyes again, meeting Spike’s, wanting him to understand the sincerity of her words. Because she really was fine, and she didn’t want him to worry unnecessarily. They may not be together anymore but she knew he still cared. “I’m okay, Spike. I promise.”
Spike’s sigh was a sound that was pure relief, and Buffy was glad she could offer him some comfort, however little.
“I really should go,” she said, indicating the door with a shrug of her shoulder. She didn’t really want to go, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to stay. As it was, she would be pushing it to make it to class on time, so the stay or leave decision needed to be made soon. If he gave her a reason…
“Yeah, you should.” Spike nodded, and at once the gentle easiness between them dissipated, the air becoming wrought with tension once more. “Me too.”
“Right, well bye then,” Buffy said woodenly, waving before she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.
And Spike’s eyes didn’t leave her until the door closed behind her, his whispered farewell dying to a whisper.
“Bye, love.”