Chapter 45: A Brand New Day
A/N: And here is another chapter. Unbetaed, so let me know if there are any glaring errors.
Thanks to: dmf109, Amayuscula, timothyschma, DauntlessGrace and pfeifferpack for reviewing the last chapter. Your encouragement means a lot.
Buffy went through the motions until the doctor’s gave her the all clear to head home the next morning. She knew she should feel relief at leaving the sterile environment, but doing so would only make her conversation with Spike more real. Knowing she would be going home, and he wouldn’t be there broke her heart all over again.
And she felt like she had no one to blame except for herself. If she hadn’t pushed Spike away in the first place, he’d still be here.
A tiny part of her—the part which held a mean grudge—whispered in her mind that Spike had betrayed her trust with Cordelia. But Buffy pushed those thoughts away, because now that she’d had the time to move past it, had looked over it with clearer eyes, she understood better where he was coming from. It was from a place of fear, fear at losing her, not out of spite.
She just wished she could tell him she understood and that she forgave him.
Thinking of all they’d lost brought tears to her eyes—for the umpteenth time since she’d been here—but then a knock at the door sounded. A second later in popped Willow.
“Hey,” she said gently as she approached Buffy’s bedside.
“Hey,” Buffy returned, through a watery grin.
“Where’s your mom?” Willow questioned, glancing about he room.
“Signing my release paperwork,” Buffy answered, before frowning. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at school?”
“I cut,” Willow said proudly. “I had to be here when you were getting released.”
Buffy’s smile strengthened. The idea of Willow cutting class was…mindboggling. And the fact she’d done it just proved how much Willow cared for her—which of course made her want to cry all over again. But she took a deep breath and pushed the emotion aside.
Having her best friend here made all of the difference in the world. Buffy felt like she could face the world with Willow by her side. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t take the opportunity to stir her up a little, however. “What about class? You might be missing something important.”
The thought that she could be missing something important brought the red-head to a standstill. Worry flashed across Willow’s face before she bravely pushed it away.
“It’s alright. I didn’t really cut. My mom rang the school.”
Buffy opened her mouth to apologise for her teasing, but Willow got there first.
“I won’t get in trouble, right?”
Buffy’s smile grew. “No, Wills. If your mom called in your absence, it’ll be fine.”
Willow only looked mildly comforted. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Buffy nodded confidently. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t joke about school,” Buffy apologised. “I was just so surprised you took a day off.”
“Hey!” Willow replied, trying to look offended but not really succeeding. Then her expression brightened, a thought occurred to her. “Xander took the day off too you know, he’s going to meet us at your place.”
“He is?” Buffy’s eyebrows rose in question. “How’d you two even know I was coming home?”
“Your mum called me this morning,” Willow said matter ‘o’ factly. “I wouldn’t leave last night until she promised.” A broad grin stretched across her face. “I can be quite convincing when I want to be.”
“Oh, I know.” Buffy smiled.
They were quite for a moment, before Willow’s worries piqued again. “What if I do miss something today?”
Buffy giggled. “You can catch up Will. And it’s not as if you haven’t already completed enough extra credit to lock in your GPA anyway.”
“That’s true,” Willow said, smiling with relief. “So. How are you feeling? Honestly.”
“I’m fine,” Buffy promised, before adding with a grin, “Honestly.”
Willow returned the beam. She did look a lot better than she had at the hospital, that was for sure. But she didn’t look like herself. There was a touch of sadness about her, and like ‘that’ Willow knew why.
“So…” she began tentatively, not sure how to bring up the subject delicately. “You had visitors at the hospital?”
Buffy smiled wryly, seeing through Willow’s ploy instantly. “You know I did, Will. If I seem to recall, you were there.”
The pointed look Buffy delivered her clearly read I-know-what-you’re-doing-so-just-spit-it-out. So she did.
“So, Spike visited.”
“Yes, he did.” Buffy tried smiling again, but she knew it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“And?”
Buffy sighed. “Willow, just ask what you want to know.”
“Areyouguysbacktogether?”
“What?” Buffy couldn’t help herself, a giggle burst forward. “In English, please. I didn’t quite catch that.”
Willow took a deep breath, making a show of speaking more clearly. “I asked, are you guys back together?”
The mirth slowly faded from her face, even though she expected the question. “No, Willow. We’re not.”
Willow was visibly shocked. She’d obviously assumed that they’d patched things up, Spike had been in there for a long time. If they weren’t making up, surely they wouldn’t have spent so much time together?
“But I don’t understand,” Willow babbled. “I thought for sure that was why he was in with you for so long.”
Buffy shook her head sadly. It was upsetting, thinking about the conversation they’d shared, but Buffy didn’t think she could cry any more tears. Hell, she’d spent half the night mourning the loss. Despite the floods already shed, when it came to actually voicing what they’d talked about she found herself sniffling.
“He came to tell me he was letting me go.”
“He WHAT!?” Willow exclaimed. “I don’t believe it!”
“I wouldn’t either, if I hadn’t been there. And trust me it sucked way worse than it sounds.” Buffy laughed hollowly.
“Oh, Buffy.”
It was the sympathy in her friend’s voice that set her off again, let the tears free. Buffy roughly brushed at the few that escaped. She’d cried enough. It was time to move on.
Spike was.
Buffy’s bottom lip quivered.
“Oh Buffy…” Willow swept Buffy into her embrace as the floodgates opened once more.
~*~*~
When Xander showed up a little while later Buffy had composed herself. She and Willow had put on a comedy. Something completely romance and angst free. One of those ridiculously stupid ones. The last thing Buffy needed was to watch a perfect romance play out on screen.
“Hey, you started without me?” Xander protested, seating himself between the girls on the sofa. “So, where are the snacks? And, most importantly, what are we watching?”
Willow and Buffy simultaneously burst into laughter.
Xander frowned with confusion, not getting the joke. “What? What did I say?”
“Snacks!” Willow gasped between giggles. “You were right, Buffy!”
“I know!” Buffy giggled.
“Know what?” Xander whined. “What’s so funny about me wanting snacks?”
“Oh nothing,” Buffy replied, her laughter winding down. “Willow just bet me a packet of skittles that the first thing you’d ask was what we were watching. I insisted it would be snacks.”
Buffy giggled again, feeling more light hearted than she had all week. “Pay up!”
“Alright, alright,” Willow complained standing up. “I’ll go collect from the kitchen.”
She shot a smile over her shoulder at Buffy, relieved to see her friend smiling again, before disappearing.
“You two really bet on me?” Xander asked incredulously, fighting to keep his face grin free. He too was happy to see Buffy smiling again, whatever the cause.
“Aww, Xander. You’re just so predictable!”
Xander tried to play for indignant, but when another peal of laughter burst from Buffy he found himself joining in.
“I bet you that pack of skittles that Willow asks what she missed, the second she comes back in,” Xander proposed.
“About the movie? You’re on.”
Xander shook his head. “Nope, what we’re talking about.”
“No way,” Buffy scoffed, shaking her head. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
The two of them shook on it, waiting for Willow to return. She didn’t disappoint, returning in moments, her arms laden with a variety of snacks she’d raided—with permission from Mrs Summers, of course—from the pantry. She froze the second she reached the room.
“What? What’s so funny? What were you guys talking about?”
“Yeah!” Xander whooped. “I so called it! Pay up, Buffster.”
“Alright,” Buffy grumbled, reaching for the skittles from Willow and handing them over.
The three curled up on the sofa again, sharing the victory skittles as the movie continued. A comfortable silence fell as they just enjoyed each other’s company.
~*~*~
It was after the second movie—or maybe it was the third, Buffy had lost count—that she looked up and noticed the time. It was after five. A pang of guilt surged through her when she realised what that meant… the bus for the LA meet had well and truly left now.
Taking Spike away from her.
Oh god… the meet!
Buffy sat bolt up right, sending a bowl of popcorn upside down in the process.
“Whoa!” Xander exclaimed, as he tired—and failed—to catch the falling bowl. “Where’s the fire?”
“Buffy, what’s wrong?” Willow asked, her eyes filled with worry.
“The meet, I was supposed to be on the bus…” she babbled.
Willow sighed with relief. “You scared me there for a second, my heart about bounced out of my chest when you shot up like a cat on a hot tin roof!”
“Yeah Buff, you trying to give us a heart attack?” Xander joked.
Buffy shook her head. “You guys don’t understand, I need to be in LA. My dad is expecting to see me at that meet.”
“Well good luck to him,” Xander quipped. “The meet’s been cancelled.”
“WHAT!” Buffy exclaimed. “Cancelled? Why?”
“What Xander means,” Willow answered. “Is that the team has pulled out. The meet’s still on, just no SHS swimmers taking part.”
Buffy frowned. “When did this happen?”
“Last night, at the hospital,” Willow filled in. “Right after your little conversation with…”
Willow trailed off but Buffy caught her drift. “Why didn’t you guys tell me sooner?”
“Your mother thought it would be too much excitement for you when you were recovering, so we weren’t allowed to mention it.” Willow shot a glare in Xander’s direction.
“Oh yeah. Oops?”
Willow sighed. “But you know now, and since you’re out of hospital I suppose we can fill you in on the rest of the details.”
“Coach pulled the team?”
“Nope,” Xander grinned, and stretched to almost Cheshire-like proportions as he continued. “The team revolted. You should’ve seen the look on Snyder’s face when Spike told him they weren’t going.”
“Spike did this?” Buffy whispered. She looked to Willow, who grabbed and squeezed her hand quickly, a gesture completed missed by Xander as he reached for some of the fallen popcorn. The girls scrunched their noses up in disgust when he popped it in his mouth.
“Yep. He said he wasn’t going till he knew you were ok. And Snyder tried to threaten him so then Beth and the other’s weighed in saying they didn’t want to go either,” Xander continued, crunching on his food.
“Coach supported them all on the decision, saying it wouldn’t be a full team anyway with her star out of action. And it was better for student welfare. If they were too worried about their friend,” Xander paused gesturing to Buffy, “then they wouldn’t have their head in the game anyway.”
Buffy was completely bewildered. And she was incredibly touched that the whole team revolted, on her behalf, standing up to Snyder no less. Of course, Spike being the ringleader wasn’t exactly a surprise.
It’s exactly the sort of thing he’d do… she thought with a small smile.
“Plus there’s apparently another meet next week, one that the team wasn’t scheduled to swim in, one that you’re all now signed up for,” Willow added, breaking through Buffy’s reverie. “So that placated Snyder.”
“Surprise,” Xander announced, rolling his eyes. It was the one downer of the story, that in the end Snyder still got his way with the team competing… just at a different meet.
“I can’t believe he agreed,” Buffy confessed.
“He didn’t have much choice, really,” Xander pointed out. “There were too many people around anyway, if he’d insisted it would’ve been bad publicity.”
Willow nodded in agreement. “And I think he’ll probably keep it pretty quiet too.”
“Why?”
“Yeah Will, why? Do you really think Snyder is going to pass up an opportunity for one of his infamous ‘student’s are stupid’ safety speeches?” Xander suggested.
“Oh crap.”
Buffy was just going to avoid thinking about the fact the whole school would know about her accident before she could say anything.
Maybe it won’t be so bad… she thought, and then tried unsuccessfully to convince herself. She pushed it out of her mind.
While not letting her team down was no longer an issue, her father’s expectations were. She’d have to call him. But not right now, later.
Xander popped in a forth movie and settled back into the couch, with a handful of reclaimed popcorn, much to Willow and Buffy’s disgust.
~*~*~
It was just before dinner time when Willow and Xander finally left, after much pushing out the door by Buffy. If she hadn’t she was certain they would’ve been content to hover all night, and she couldn’t have them doing that. They were good friends, and she was so very grateful for them.
“Did you have a good time this afternoon honey?”
“I did.”
“That’s good, I’m glad.” Joyce smiled. Some of the colour had returned to Buffy’s cheeks, and she was looking a lot better than she had the night before. She had to fight not to wrap her arms around her again, for fear of spoiling her daughter’s good mood.
“I’ve just got to make a quick call, Dad was expecting me in LA,” Buffy explained.
“He knows about your accident sweetheart,” Joyce assured, but she handed over the phone all the same. “Even as unreasonable as that man can be he can’t find fault with you for this.”
Buffy smiled weakly, taking the cordless and heading upstairs for some privacy. She didn’t want her mother overhearing, just in case.
~*~*~
Looking back, leaving the room had been a very smart idea. Her father had been anything but reasonable, going almost as far as to suggest she hurt herself, on purpose, to ‘escape her responsibilities’.
Buffy shook her head in disgust. How he could believe she had done so was beyond her. It was mystifying that her father—one of the people supposed to love and trust her, someone supposed to put her welfare ahead of his own wants—could be so downright cruel.
One thing she was proud of… she didn’t cry. As hateful as the things he suggested, as mean as his tone was, she didn’t breadown. Buffy had come to realise that he wasn’t worth it.
And when he requested to have a copy of the hospital report Buffy organised for it to be sent to him immediately. She was not going to let him get to her.
As much as it pained her knowing she would be forced to leave—in less than two months—she took solace in the knowledge that there were people here in Sunnydale that cared about her.
And she would be visiting every damn chance she got.