Chapter Six: The Kitten Shakedown
When Spike’s brain came back online, his first thought was of Asher. Spike’s heightened hearing came in handy, and relief flooded him when he detected his son’s signature heartbeat. Babies had faster heart rates than adult humans and most demon species, and he’d recognize his son’s anywhere.
Spike was sitting up but couldn’t move, and keeping his eyes closed and head lolled to one side, he shifted his body parts just slightly. His wrists were bound behind him, and his legs were strapped to chair legs. The material keeping him in place was rope. He almost laughed. Rope didn’t hold him. No one in the demon community would ever try to hold a vampire with rope – nobody but the Scoobies in Sunnydale. He’d gone along with it, but then, he’d been desperate to remain in their company because he was newly chipped.
Now, he was in the company of a couple of demons – the owners of the other three heartbeats. They’d apparently never tried to kidnap a vampire.
Spike opened his eyes a slit and saw that he was in a dark courtyard, probably somewhere in or near the Quarter because he could hear music and tourists in the far distance – no doubt partying on Bourbon.
A stone fountain was situated in the middle of the lush mini-garden that opened up above the three-story building to reveal the moon, which provided enough light as his eyes adjusted. The scent of night-blooming jasmine perfumed the air, and the plants almost vibrated with life despite the darkness. The sound of trickling water muffled the voices nearby, but Spike thought he recognized one of the voices.
It was Louis’s whiny twang. Bloody hell.
“I know you’re there,” Spike announced, no longer wanting to pretend. He tugged at the ropes, loosening them but not letting them fall away. “And I bloody well know who you are, so show yourselves!”
Louis practically pranced with glee out of the deepest shadows, his folded lavender wings quivering. He was still picking at his face, and Spike could smell blood, but it seemed too strong for the little bit oozing on the demon’s face. “So, you’re awake.”
“I am. Where’s my son?” Spike strained to view the other figure who was moving with much less speed.
“Where are the kittens?” Louis sneered.
“What sodding kittens?” Spike knew exactly what the little twerp was talking about. He only had the one kitten though (god knew where the diaper backpack was), and demons demanded full payment. “And technically, since Clem cheated, I won that hand, so they’re my kittens. You owe me.”
Louis got in Spike’s face, raised both eyebrows, and pressed his lips together in an insipid manner. Louis better be glad Spike was waiting for the other party to reveal himself and Asher, or he’d be dead on the floor before he could say another word. As it was, the winged demon planted his hands on his hips and snorted. “Your friend cheated. You owe us all the kittens.”
Spike’s patience was fast becoming non-existent, and his anxiety about his son was ratcheting up. “What complete and utter tosh. I don’t owe you anything.”
Louis made a face at him. “What? What does that even mean?”
“You idiot!” came the other familiar voice. “He’s trying to rile you up. It just means he’s saying he doesn’t owe you a thing.” Arjun came into Spike’s view in the dim light. The demon’s lanky body was hunched over, and Spike realized that Arjun was the source of the blood. The darkened red liquid saturated his clothes from the wound in his belly.
Spike barely registered that though because a wide-eyed Asher was clutched in the demon’s arm, a talon pressing into his calf. A growl escaped Spike’s lips before he could stop himself.
Arjun coughed, and the sound was wet. He was weaker than he was letting on. “Kittens or we’ll take your son.”
Louis flitted back. “Is he even your son? I mean, how’d that happen? You knock a girl up and then get turned? Why do you even care? It makes no sense.”
Spike flexed his muscles, and the rope fell away from his hands as rage filled him. He’d take Arjun first and then Louis would either run away or do something stupid that’d get him killed before he set foot out of the courtyard.
Just as he was about to lunge at the pair, a third voice bellowed, “What the hell are you two doing?”
Fuck.
Mike came barreling through the gate, dragging a frightened Clem behind him. “You can’t tie up a vampire with rope! Do you put any thought into anything?”
“I-I tied the knots tight. I’m an Eagle Scout!” Louis put his hands up defensively.
Mike’s exasperated growl said everything about how furious he was. He slung Clem forward so that he hurtled toward the fountain and landed with a solid thump like bone cracking against the tile. Mike stormed over to Spike and punched him in the nose so hard that his head flew back and he saw stars brighter than the ones above. Bloody hell. The spiny demon hit harder than Buffy. The world swayed and flickered. Spike trained all his senses on his son; he had to stay awake for his Nip.
Mike grabbed Spike by the shoulder and shook him a little. Spike groaned as blood flowed out of his nose.
“That’s it. Stay awake. Where are the kittens?”
Spike did what he did best in times of duress: he laughed – the sound as condescending as he could make it. He’d shown the same derision toward Angel a time or two over the last century. “All this fuss for two bloody kittens? You really are off your bird.”
Mike slapped him hard enough to leave a mark with the back of his hand. “Enough with the patronizing act. You know very well that it’s not about the kittens.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Spike saw Clem stirring by the fountain and hoped his friend would rouse enough to do something. Spike rolled his eyes at Mike, trying to keep the trio of unhappy poker players occupied. “This is not honor among demons. You know your pride is gonna get you in trouble someday. And not the fun kind of trouble. The dead kind.” Spike paused and added, hoping it wasn’t too over-the-top, “Not that it’d matter much. Imagine the spiny look doesn’t get you much in the other kind of fun department. Not many ladies like that much pain. Physical or eye-sore.”
Mike slammed Spike back into a curving mass of ivy vines, pressing a particularly long spine on the top of his wrist into the soft flesh at the base of Spike’s throat. “I’ll have you know that the ladies love me!”
Spike chuckled despite the precarious position he found himself in. Clem better hurry up. “Construction doesn’t pay that well.”
“Neither does bartending.”
Spike glared. “Least I have my looks.”
There was the sound of a clearing throat, and Mike immediately drew back, allowing Spike’s chair to fall back on all four legs. The motion and distraction allowed him to loosen his leg restraints.
Clem smiled, his lips trembling with nerves as he held a meowing kitten up in each hand. “You were looking for these?”
Spike quickly surveyed the rest of his surroundings, noting that Arjun was leaning against the wall closer to the courtyard’s entrance, Asher in his arms. Great. If Spike was to protect Clem, Arjun could escape with his son before Spike could get to him. If he went for Asher first, Clem would be a casualty. Spike didn’t know that he could live with either outcome.
With one of his wings outstretched in a lopsided fashion, Louis was scratching at his face again and dancing from one foot to the other.
“Why are you standing there?” Mike screeched, clearly beyond rationality, which Spike decided could be good or very bad.
Louis jumped. “S-sorry.” He scuttled forward and snatched the two kittens from Clem, who made helpless eye contact with Spike.
Mike huffed and put a heavy hand on Spike’s shoulder. “What’d you do with the weapons?”
Somehow, Louis looked more bewildered than Clem. “I-I-I – ”
Arjun let out another string of wet coughs. “Behind the f-fountain.”
“Someone needs to hand over my son and get himself to the doctor,” Spike noted while desperately trying to find a way to make his move. He’d worry about his own throbbing nose later. Usually, when he was injured, Buffy tended his wounds and gave him a sip from her own blood supply to heal him up straight away, but Spike doubted she’d be all that willing even if they made it out of here without dying.
Arjun’s barking laugh ended with another round of hacking followed by, “You wish, vampire.”
“Waiting, Louis,” Mike bellowed.
Not very effectively juggling the kittens, Louis stumbled to the back of the fountain. Spike heard him rummaging around and then dragging something very heavy. One of the kittens was digging its claws in his shoulder, and Louis was starting to cry when he made it into view again. Someone really needed to put the poor bloke out of his misery or send him home to lick his wounds.
“What do you need the w-weapons for?” Clem asked, his voice steady but his hand tapping his thigh. He was nervous as Louis but hiding it as well as he could. Spike felt an odd zing of pride for his friend.
Spike joined him in solidarity, “Yeah, you have your kittens. We played five sodding rounds of poker. Not even a whole night. Why don’t we call it even and go our separate ways?”
Mike pointed a finger at Arjun. “You call that ‘even.’ He’s dying because of you.”
Arjun let out a cross between a squeak and a blub. “Still here.” His voice was softer than it had been, and Spike very much worried he was going to pass out and drop his progeny.
“We’re going to even the score, but I won’t be using my spikes on a vampire.” Mike practically spat in Spike’s face.
Spike refused to flinch. “Hate to tell you, but swords and spikes don’t do a bloody thing to me.” Wood, on the other hand –
“Louis! A blade of some sort!”
“I-it’s too dark. I m-might cut myself.” Apparently, poor Louis was also deficient in the demon sight department.
Mike mashed his palm on Spike’s chest. “Just toss me something. If you get a cut, I’ll kiss it and make it better.”
“Really?” Poor sap sounded hopeful.
“No, I won’t, you idiot! Hurry up!” As Louis dug into the bag, Mike sighed. “I just want to go home and get some sleep before work tomorrow.”
With a scowl on his face, Louis drew a long wicked-sharp blade from the bag. As he drew his arm back to hurtle it, he grasped the kittens tightly with his other arm. The white kitten shrieked in pain and lashed out with both front paws at Louis’s face, digging deep narrow rivets into his flesh. The demon stumbled forward, and the weapon flew out of his hand at a haphazard angle with surprising force.
Spike saw his moment and leaped free of the rope, shoving the larger demon into the new path of the weapon.
Mike threw up his arms to protect himself.
With a sickening thwump, the blade drove into Mike’s chest, sliding through his heart all the way to the hilt. Mike groaned and looked down at himself before collapsing to the ground.
Louis cried out in anguish from where he’d fallen onto the bricks. Clem strode forward and kicked him swiftly in the head, effectively knocking him out.
The kittens were nowhere to be seen, and Spike sent out a silent thank you to his cat while whirling to search for his son.
Arjun had slid to the ground, no doubt from loss of blood, and Asher clung to the demon. When he saw his father, he began to cry in earnest, soft hesitant sounds of fear.
Spike ran to his boy and carefully wrested him from Arjun’s clutches. The demon glared at Spike though he seemed to have no energy to protest Asher’s removal from his possession.
Spike ignored the demon but moved toward Clem and the weapons – just in case. Holding the baby close, Spike stroked Asher’s damp hair and lightly bounced him, whispering soothing sounds in his ear. His son’s cries almost immediately stopped, but he held tight to Spike’s shirt with one fist and hiccupped. “You’re all right. I’ve got you.” He addressed Clem, who had somehow retrieved both the kittens. “You okay, mate?”
“Frightened out of my mind, but okay. How’s Asher?” Shifting one of the kittens onto his shoulder, Clem cooed at the baby and gently patted his arm.
Spike retrieved the diaper backpack from where it’d been tossed aside. “He’s fine now. Let’s get out of here before anyone rouses enough to do something else.”
Clem picked up the weapons bag that had been too heavy for Louis. “We should take these.”
“Good idea.”
“What about these guys?” Clem gestured at the unconscious Louis and the dying Arjun. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been in a poker game that’s gone this horribly wrong.”
Spike emitted a soft laugh. “That’ll teach you to pick up players at the airport.”
The corner of Clem’s mouth went up. “You’re probably right.”
“Probably?”
Clem held up a finger. “No. Definitely.”
“I better get this guy home, clean him up, and put him to bed.” Asher’s diaper was full. He needed another change. Spike held out his hand, and Clem clasped it briefly.
“Sounds good to me. A bed is calling my name, too.”
Suddenly, Spike heard multiple sets of footsteps on the otherwise quiet street outside but detected no heartbeats. There were vampires – lots of them.
The gate to the courtyard banged open.
Spike had to stop jinxing himself.