The Return
It was while I was fighting three fledglings that I first felt his presence. It started as a niggling at the back of my skull that I ignored. But it grew into a tingling and when I smelled the smoke, the smoke of his cigarettes, I knew it was him. It threw me off my game so badly that I found myself on the ground, with the last remaining fledgling hovering over my neck, his fangs bared and no stake in my hand.
I held him off for a long moment, half-expecting for him to turn into dust with a thrust from behind. The moment became two, then three, until I couldn’t wait any longer and kicked him off of me. With a roll I managed to make it to where my stake had landed when it had been knocked out of my hand and when the vamp leapt back on me I was ready, dispatching him quickly in a shower of dust. To tell the truth, I was still so taken aback at Spike’s return I didn’t quip, pun or anything.
As I stood and brushed myself off, I heard a slow clapping at my performance. Turning my head I saw him. Leaning lazily against a tree, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, he was clothed, as always, in his signature black. He didn’t have his duster since it had been relegated to the dark recesses of my closet. Instead he wore a black cloak. A cloak that seemed oddly familiar, but that I couldn’t quite place.
“A little help would’ve been nice,” I said.
“Suppose it would’ve,” he replied as he reached for his cigarette and blew out the smoke.
He looked fantastic, all lean and hard. What had Xander once said? Compact and muscular? His skin glowed in the light as he smiled at me, his bleached hair gleaming. How often had I spied a blonde in the last few months, my breath catching in my throat, until the head turned and I was disappointed? But he was here, actually here at last and, suddenly mad as hell, I marched up to him. I was angry that he was back, but so much angrier that he had left.
“What do you want?”
Slowly his eyes drifted down over my body and my skin seemed to quiver under his scrutiny. It reminded my of the many nights we’d lie in bed, exhausted after our exertions and he would prop himself up on his elbows and study me intently. Staring at me. Trying to memorize every curve, every indentation. His eyes always made me self-conscious, but more often than not, his stare would start a whole new round of lovemaking.
His gaze finally having reached my boots, was working it’s way back up, and I couldn’t help but notice it hesitate for a few moments at the apex of my thighs. When this caused a rush of dampness to the area he smiled and moved higher, my hardening nipples also a source of amusement. Finally he reached my face. Looking into my eyes for a moment, he brought the cigarette to his lips again for another drag. As he blew the smoke at me he answered my question.
“Not a damn thing.”
With that he turned from me, and headed through the cemetery towards his crypt. Never one to keep from making a bad situation, worse I followed.
He knew that I’d followed him, of course, and when he reached his crypt he held the door open and waited for me to enter. The place looked the same as the last time I had seen it, the day I’d brought Dawn here for safety, only to be met by Clem. Taking a seat on the sarcophagus Spike motioned for me to take the chair, but I chose to remain standing. He kept on smoking his cigarette right down to the filter, then brought out another one and lit it, cupping his hand around the flame. He watched me the entire time, and slowly, the silence stretched out and filled the room.
Without even knowing why, I began to talk, telling him about everything that had happened after he had left. When I told him about being shot I saw him glance quickly at my chest, but there was little to no reaction to the rest of the tale. Willow going berserk, killing Warren, fighting me and Giles, and then trying to end the world, but I told him anyway. I told him about the hot, bright day we lowered Tara into the cold, dark ground.
I should’ve ended my story there, but instead I told him of the loneliness of the summer. How Giles and Willow were away in England. How Dawn had finally been invited to spend some time with Dad, and had only recently returned. I told him how my relationship with Anya, never close to begin with had been irrevocably damaged by his night with her. Even now we were still feebly trying to stitch some kind of patchwork-friendship back together, and I wasn’t much good at arts and crafts projects. I told how Xander was increasingly distant, busy with his job and how, with Willow gone, and his no longer dating Anya, his ties to me seemed stretched and frayed. I told him I felt that I was losing him.
He smoked in silence, listening to me as I prattled, watching me closely. I should’ve shut up then. I wish I had shut up then, but I didn’t. It all came gushing out. I was Buffy the Babbling Brook. I started talking to Spike about him, about us. I told him how much what he had done in the bathroom had hurt me, but how his leaving had hurt even more. I told him that I had needed his help during the fight with Willow. How patrolling had become a lonely chore without him. I told him I missed him. I told him I still had feelings for him.
He seemed to sit up a bit at that. I tried to cover myself, to make it clear that no matter what, we would never be lovers again. I explained to him that I wouldn’t love him, that I couldn’t love him.
He hopped off of the sarcophagus and crushed his cigarette out with his foot. Fixing my eyes with that intense blue gaze, he prowled toward me until he was scant inches away. My breathing became shallower as he stood there, his nearness causing the heat of my body to warm his cool one. I could almost feel the pulse in my throat throbbing at his presence. Smiling he spoke.
“Guess this would be a bad time to ask you to go down on me then, wouldn’t it?”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
His laughter after I punched him and ran away, echoed in my ears for days. I started avoiding his cemetery. If evil demons had arrived in Sunnydale intent on taking over the world, they would have succeeded if their headquarters had been located among the tombstones near his crypt.
But even as I patrolled the other dark and dank spots of Sunnydale, I scanned my surroundings for him. I became twitchy, nervous that I might turn and find him there, watching me with that sardonic expression. You would think that I would have been prepared then for the next time I saw him. I wasn’t.
I had promised Dawn that I would take her to the Bronze. Xander had reluctantly agreed to go with us. He sat with us downing whiskeys as we sipped our diet sodas and told us unfunny jokes with that fractured smile of his. Truthfully, a lot of his humor hadn’t been funny in the past, but these were different, bitter and mean-spirited. In a desperate effort to stop the toxic spill I asked him to dance with me.
It was while I was dancing that I felt the heightening of my senses that signaled Spike’s presence. Turning to hunt the corners, I was unable to find the source. The tingling felt as though it was coming from all around me, covering me, passing through me, and my lack of concentration on the dance caused me to stumble against Xander. Laughing, he joked about cutting me off from liquor-free beverages in the future and led me back to the table, where Dawn took my place with him on the dance floor.
Closing my eyes I attempted to focus my slayer senses and, after a second, I lifted my head and saw him. He was standing on the balcony. The exact same spot where he had taken me from behind, as I watched my friends dance in blissful ignorance below. I could tell that he was pleased that I had located him at last. There was a girl with him, a petite blonde. She was laughing, drunk and seemed completely unaware of the type of creature she was with. Looking down at me, he stuck his tongue between his teeth and quirked his eyebrows suggestively. His hand came up and he slowly stroked the length of her golden hair. Our eyes still on each other, he moved his hand from the ends of her hair to her breast, caressing it while I watched. I felt my skin flushing under his gaze despite myself. Then, bracing his hands against the railing he began to thrust his hips slowly forward and back against the girl. The blonde was too drunk to care what he was doing, but I was mesmerized as I watched him mimicking our actions from months before with someone else. His thrusts were slow at first, timed to the beat of the music drumming around us, but then sped up, becoming wilder and more powerful. When he closed his eyes and threw back his head in mock ecstasy, I felt my treacherous body shudder in response and I let out a gasp. With that sound, his eyes flew open and his gaze pierced me. Even from that distance away, he knew, could smell the arousal that was soaking my panties. Then, with a flashing grin, he winked and backed away into the darkness, abandoning the unknown girl.
Dawn and Xander returned to the table to find me gathering my things. I had to get away from there and their puzzled questions forced me to lie. Telling them that I wasn’t feeling well, I insisted on them staying and having fun and, when my flushed face made them press me further, I grimaced and whispered “cramps”. Dawn gave me a sympathetic smile, while Xander blanched and on that, I practically ran from room. I needed to shower. I needed to scrub the feeling of violation off of my skin.
I had almost completed my escape, was almost home when I felt him. He was standing by the tree in the yard, the tree I now thought of as his. The tree he had stood under as he watched my house, leaving cigarette butts littered about. The tree under which he had made rough, amazing, love to me, staining my coat with the wet grass as he pressed me down on the ground. And I’d really liked that coat, too.
Once again he had a cigarette lit, the smoke curling around him. He moved forward until his body brushed up against mine, forcing me to take a step back.
“So, luv,” he smirked. “Was it good for you, too?”
Spike had once told me that he had never learned to enthrall someone. That Drusilla was the one who enjoyed getting into peoples’ heads and treating them like living dolls, after which she would lose interest and let her victims die of neglect. Spike considered enthralling someone to be cheating, much preferring to use fist and fangs instead. Enjoying the thrill of the contest, the possibility of losing as much as the rapture of the blood afterwards. If I hadn’t known already known all this, I would have believed at the moment that he had me under his spell.
I couldn’t move as he started touching me. My hands remained limp at my sides instead of clenched into fists, as he began to caress my cheek, my chin, my neck. His fingers moved lower still on my body and yet I remained acquiescent. He palmed my breast for a moment, flicking a hardened nipple with his thumb through the fabric of my clothes, and I let him. It was only when he gave my breast a sudden vicious twist, hurting me, that I was able to break the spell. Gasping, I stumbled back, pushing him away. He only laughed and backed off.
Dismissively, he turned to leave, his cloak flowing out behind him. It was then it hit me, where I’d seen it before. I called to him before I thought better of it, delaying his departure.
“Why are you wearing Dracula’s coat?”
He spun back, a gleeful smile on his face.
“Recognized it, did you?” he asked.
I nodded. Curious about what he would say, I waited for him to continue.
“Took it from him. Right off of his back before staking him into dust.”
I had known that Spike was a better, more dangerous fighter than Dracula. I had never been able to beat him despite our many contests. Dracula, once you got by all of his mental tricks, was easy in comparison. Although, technically I suppose I hadn’t actually managed to kill him either.
“Didn’t he do the dust devil thing and form up again?”
Spike’s smile broadened, becoming maniacal.
“He did. Came back and came back and came back. Each time he came back, he found me waiting for him. Thought of lots of different ways to kill him. Once I cut him into teeny bits before chopping off his head. My favorite was setting him on fire, hearing him scream before he dusted. Must have done that a couple of dozen times for the pure pleasure of watching it.”
Listening to him, I felt the sodas I had drunk earlier churn in my stomach, threatening to reappear in a new yucky form. A dawning comprehension caused me to quickly back away to the safety of my home. He looked like Spike. He sounded like Spike. But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Spike’s double didn’t notice, too busy reliving the joy he had experienced.
“Near the end he would solidify, already sniveling, begging me for mercy. Offered me anything and everything he had if I would only leave him alone. Would take what he offered, then kill him again. Only quit when he stopped begging, stopped whimpering. Wasn’t fun after that.”
With trembling fingers I reached behind me and turned the knob, and, just as he leapt up onto the porch, wrenched open the door and fled inside. I thanked God that Xander had insisted that we do the Uninvite Spell. I had tried to reassure him that it was unnecessary but, when Dawn had agreed, I had conceded to keep the peace. Giles had done the honors before leaving the country with Willow and breathing heavily, I now sent him a silent thank you.
As it was I barely made it inside before he slammed up against the barrier. He knew what it was, but as I watched he prodded and poked at it, seeing if it would hold. My limbs were shaky and my voice trembled as I asked him,
“Who are you and what have you done to Spike?”
He took a step back and glared at me, hatred emanating from him in waves.
“It’s not what I did to Spike. It’s what you did.”
The Reason
I didn’t understand and he could tell. He glared at me.
“It was you, Summers. Your fault. I loved you. Would’ve done anything for you. Did everything I could think of for you, to you. You let me touch you but you never let me in. The only time I ever got under your skin was when I was throwing you against the walls, doors, floor, whatever surface available. You drove me mad, Slayer. Sent me around the sodding bend.”
He hurled himself once more at the barrier, his anger uncontained. Unconsciously, I moved back a few more feet, feeling the need to put more space between myself and this creature, who was so not my boyfriend in any sense now. The barrier held as he pounded on it, fists crashing to a halt in mid-air as they came in contact. Finally recognizing the futility, he stopped. Taking deep, unnecessary breaths to calm himself down, he closed his eyes. When he opened them again they sought me out, burning me.
His gaze shifted to upstairs and he backed up a step, his body losing some of its tension.
“Do you remember that night, the night I left?” he whispered.
I nodded my head. Yes I remembered that night. Sometimes, at the oddest moments, it would creep into my mind. I could be at work, mindlessly serving burgers and it would come to me, sending a tremor through me in reaction. Once it had happened at the grocery store and I’d doubled over, causing a clerk to rush to my side in consternation. The next week, I shopped at a different store.
“That’s what did it,” he said in response to my nod. “That’s what caused me to snap, to lose it. It was the last bloody straw that broke my back. It niggled away inside my brain, churning around, eating at me. Couldn’t believe what I had done to you. Couldn’t live with myself.”
Slowly, he brought one single white, graceful hand up to his chest, and, with the fingers spread he lowered it down his body until it brushed up against the now conspicuous bulge in his jeans. He leered at me.
“Now it’s just another lovely memory”.
“What did you do?” I asked hoarsely.
“Was going to give it all up for you, pet. Was going to say good-bye to evil forever. I knew about this place, you see. They whispered about it in the darkest corners of the most sordid and foulest spots on earth. A place they said you could earn a soul.”
At my look of disbelief he let out a snort of laughter.
“Yeah, I was a bleeding ponce, wasn’t I? To think that if I had a soul I might be good enough for the likes of you. But I went to the demon and told him I wanted it, wanted to give you what you deserved.”
He watched me, waiting for my response, but I couldn’t take this all in. He had tried to get a soul? For me? For a moment I could only think about the other vampire I knew with a soul, Angel. He alternately cherished and hated his soul; it had brought him closer to humanity, yet it still tortured him. It reminded him of all he had been, all the horrible things he had done. He had been cursed with it and a curse to him it was. Would he, if given a chance, choose to have a soul as Spike had? Provoked by my continuing silence, Spike continued.
“You have no conception of what I was willing to do, do you? It wasn’t just the tests. It wasn’t the possibility of having a conscience that would torment me and cause me to turn into a brooding wanker like Peaches. It was the going back to what I was that scared me most.”
I hesitated, unsure of his meaning.
“You told me when you were alive…you were bad.”
He laughed.
“That I was but not in the way you think. I was bad. I was bad at poetry, bad at being a man, bad at life. I was the nanciest of nancy boys. Think of the biggest loser, the stupidest git, the most disgustingly weak person possible and that was me. I was willing to go back to being a colossal waste of space, for you.”
“But you failed the tests,” I threw at him.
His smile faltered and for a moment I thought I saw my Spike hidden underneath. Then the bragging returned.
“Didn’t fail. Passed with flying colors. Won every challenge the demon set me. Beat every foe. Suffered, but I bore it for you, Summers. All for you. There was only one problem. I forgot one thing.
Scarcely daring to breathe, I asked what he was waiting for me to ask, daring me to ask.
“What did you forget?”
“What I forgot was to never make a deal with a demon.”
Quietly, he moved away from the door and bounded back down the steps. As I peered out at him from my sanctuary, he started to walk away, cutting across the grass. When he was almost to the sidewalk he turned and faced me again.
“You see, I told him I wanted a soul. Never specifically requested that I wanted my old soul. Told him I wanted to give you what you deserved.”
With a bitter twist of his lips he smiled.
“Guess you’ve been a naughty girl.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Over the next few days I watched the obituary columns, expecting the numbers to rise. But when it continued to hold at two pages long, I had to assume Spike still had the chip. I warned Dawn that Spike was back, that he was dangerous. I wasn’t so sure it had made an impression on her, so I gave her a curfew. By the time the sun went down, she had to be home. I threatened her with everything I could think of if she ever invited Spike into our home, but in the end I bribed her with my new blue top with the little white flowers on it. As my sister flounced off holding her prize, I consoled myself with the fact that at least she would be safe wearing it. And maybe, when this was all over, I would steal it back.
Xander was a little surprised when I started showing up at his place, insisting that he patrol with me once again. I knew that Spike could hurt me, but with the chip still active he would be unable to hurt Xander. It was pathetic. I was counting on Xander to save me, the Slayer, if Spike came around.
I had to tell Xander something so I told him that Spike had returned. I confessed that I was scared of him. Ever the big brother, he leapt to the conclusion that it was because of the attempted rape, and I let him make that leap. I knew that if it came down to it, if Spike and I fought again and I lost; it wouldn’t just be rape I would face this time.
So Xander and I started to patrol the cemeteries together. We would meet at dusk and wander around, staking vampires and killing the occasional demon that crossed our path. Our first night out was a bit awkward. We didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore, but slowly, we remembered. Although I never forgot that Spike was out there, somehow I started to look forward to patrolling with Xander, and I could tell that he was beginning to enjoy it, too. His jokes were becoming funnier and less bitter, and these days his smile actually reached his eyes.
One night while we were out on patrol, we spotted Anya talking to a young woman. Dark red veins were prominent all over her face, which is not such a good look for her. We figured that she was in the process of enacting a vengeance wish. When she saw who was approaching her, she froze. Xander didn’t say a word. He just looked at her while she returned his gaze. I don’t know if she even noticed me next to him before she hurried away leaving her client standing puzzled and alone on the sidewalk.
That night I kissed Xander for the first time. A real kiss, not a “you’re my friend and I love you” type of kiss. He was surprised and for a moment returned it. It didn’t work for either of us. We broke apart and looked at one another and, without saying a word, we knew that whatever chance we had ever had to be together had already passed us by. The next night, by mutual decision, we pretended that the kiss had never happened.
Night after night, the number of vampires and demons we saw began to dwindle. By the end of the week we were patrolling for hours without seeing a single one. Xander suggested we try the one cemetery we had managed to avoid for seven days but I shook my head, rejecting the idea and proposing instead that we try Willy’s bar. Maybe we could pound an explanation out of him.
We didn’t find Willy. But we did find Spike.
The Realization
Willy’s post behind the bar was abandoned and I found myself wondering if it was his survivor instincts at work. They say that animals can sense an earthquake, and I was guessing that Willy’s senses were probably higher than your average rodent. He could smell trouble, and Spike was now just that. Willy had probably scurried off to find a dark hole or abandoned sewer to hide in, until the disaster walking around as Spike blew over. Rats have good instincts like that.
What struck me, as more odd, was that there were only a dozen or so demons in the bar. While a few looked to be enjoying the entertainment Spike was providing, more had a sickly look on their face, eyeing the door to see at what point they could make their escape.
Spike was at the far end of the room, his back to us. There were two more demons standing near him, and it took me a moment to place them. They were Chaos demons, the all-slime-and-antlers type. But these two had no slime, had no antlers. Peering into the gloom, I saw that the huge prongs had been broken from their heads then sharpened to razor fine points. While the older, large demon was tied to the wall, a smaller version was about ten feet away. Spike was leaning over the small one, arm around his shoulders, giving instructions.
“Now listen hear. This is your third and final chance. I want you to go for the eye. Miss again and we untie your Pop and you take his place on the wall. And I won’t be none too happy about it. Probably tear an eye out of you instead.”
I noticed that two of the antler-prongs were stuck in the wall near the older one’s face. He smiled a shaky encouragement at the his son who was trembling so badly I was surprised he was still standing, much less throwing anything. I realized the reason for the dwindling bad guy population. Spike. They were probably leaving in droves. Or they were dying.
It was at that moment he sensed me, and turning around, welcomed me with a huge smile.
“Slayer! So nice of you to drop in and join our fun.”
“I like to make my own fun,” I said, pulling a stake from my jacket pocket and twirling it in front of me.
Using my arrival as an excuse, some of the more nervous demons in the bar got up and hurried out the door, until about half a dozen remained. The few left, stood and moved to form a circle around Spike and I was shocked to see that Clem was one of them. He looked at me with sad eyes before glancing guiltily towards the floor. Spike didn’t seem to notice.
Unfortunately, Xander wasn’t noticing much, either. He didn’t see that Spike’s congeniality was only a mask for the anger. He didn’t feel the barely restrained violence emanating from him. He also didn’t realize that we were hopelessly outnumbered. But then, Xander has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Hurling himself towards the vampire, he found himself instantly spun around and held by one of Spike’s minions. The scaly left arm of the demon looped itself around his throat, while the claws of the right hand hovered over his face. My brave protector had quickly become a hostage.
Sliding up to face Xander who was struggling in vain within the demon’s grip, Spike sneered at him.
“Still playing the knight errant, I see. So tell me, how is your lovely Anyanka doing? Does she still do that twitchy thing with her hips when you’re riding her hard? ‘Cause that was real nice”
Xander got it then. Silently he stared at Spike, before turning to look at me in accusation. He could tell that something about Spike was different and, by the look on my face, he also figured out that I had known about it.
Looking around the room, I figured I could probably take three, maybe four of the demons but seeing as there were five, it might be a problem. My math didn’t even add Spike into the calculations. Well, math was never my best subject anyway. My hand tightened around my stake. If I were going to go out, at least I would go out fighting.
Spike smiled and shook his head at me slowly.
“Make a move, Slayer, and the first thing you’ll see is the whelp’s face come off.”
That stopped me cold. I had talked Xander into helping me, and I hadn’t exactly been truthful with him about what he was getting into. Now his life was on the line because of me. Besides, he had a nice face and I kinda liked it where it was.
“Come on, Summers, hand over the weapon nice and easy and no one will get hurt.” Grinning he added, “At least no one will get hurt right away. A few minutes from now, who knows?”
I had no choice. Slowly I walked towards him, my stake at the ready. I stopped within a foot of him. The demons were holding their breath, watching to see if I would try to suddenly thrust it into him. In comparison, Spike was completely relaxed, nonchalant, enjoying this. He knew how much of a hold his threat to Xander had on me.
At the last moment I flipped my stake and offered it to Spike, blunt end first and he accepted it with the grace of a member of the royal family accepting flowers from a crowd. And it meant about as much too, quickly tossed behind him onto the floor.
“So, now what?”
I tried to act tough, but for the first time in a long while I was facing an enemy that caused me to quake in my stylish yet affordable boots.
Spike lifted a finger and slowly, gently, traced the outline of my face. Xander did the outraged struggling thing and I did the proud tilt of my chin thing. But all three of us knew that Spike was now firmly in control.
“You really care for Harris, don’t you? Needn’t worry about his face. He’s going to keep it for a bit longer. Want to make sure he watches this and watches it carefully, like. Going to burn an image into his brain.”
“What are you going to do to me?”
I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice but it snuck in a bit, despite my efforts to squash it. I knew Spike heard it though, from his gleeful expression.
“Not what I’m going to do to you, luv. It’s what you’re going to do to me. While the whelp watches. Not anything you haven’t done before.”
My eyes flew to Xander’s face. The color in it had drained and he looked like he was going to be ill. Chuckling, Spike continued.
“My, you do have a naughty mind, don’t you? Didn’t mean that. Though it might be nice. Just want a kiss from you. A real kiss, mind you. The kind you used to give me as we rolled across my crypt floor. The kind that felt like you were trying to eat me alive.”
Hesitantly I moved closer to him and raised my hands to his face. Closing my eyes made it easier, I could block out his expression, block out his burning gaze. Instead I concentrated on touch. He still felt the same. His skin still felt soft and smooth. I moved my hands down to his shoulders. Those same hard, muscular shoulders that I had grasped like a lifeline as he rocked into me and made me feel as if I were drowning in sensation. I leaned forward and let my lips touch his.
He tasted the same, of cigarettes and spice and a hint of toothpaste because even undead creatures of the night paid attention to good oral hygiene. He didn’t smell the same, though. This new Spike smelled of storms and crushed leaves. My Spike had always smelled of leather and smoky warmth.
Those feelings, all those damn feelings came back as we kissed. The feelings I had fought so hard against in the past, telling myself that he was an evil fiend, that he was a creature, not a human being. I now knew the truth. Spike hadn’t been an evil fiend for some time, but the man I was kissing now was.
The kiss lasted for several minutes. When we broke apart all of the demons, except for Clem laughed and whistled in appreciation at seeing the Slayer become someone’s toy. Spike leered at me, and I felt like I had been rolling in the dirt. Xander looked as if someone had reached into his chest and torn out his heart. Since it was a distinct possibility that someone might do exactly that within the next few minutes, I said nothing.
Spike was smug. With a single kiss, he had managed to become a god to his followers.
“That was pretty good, Slayer. I have to tell you, though, I’ve changed my mind about things in the last few months.”
“You still have a mind to change? Thought you had totally lost it”
“Cute. Told you once that I’d found the one thing better than killing a slayer. Not true anymore. There’s nothing better than killing a slayer. Except maybe turning one.”
As I watched, he came closer, looming over me. He held my arms tightly as he shifted into game face but then, almost as suddenly, his grip loosened. He backed away, still with the fangs and glowing yellow eyes.
“Buffy”, he gasped. “Get out of here! Now! Go!”
I stumbled back, not sure what was happening, and then Clem came to my rescue. Grabbing my arm, he punched the demon holding Xander in the face, and pulled us backwards through the door. Glancing behind me as we fled, I saw Spike. Still in game face, his eyes flickering from yellow to blue, he was doubled over in agony.
After that the three of us raced through the streets as if the hounds of hell were at our heels. And I should know. I’ve fought hellhounds. It was only as we stood gasping for breath in my hallway, Dawn flitting around us in concern, that my mind started to wrap itself around what had happened. I hauled Clem up and held him against the wall, using his saggy skin as handholds.
“Tell me”, I yelled at him. “Is it true? It is, isn’t it? That’s why you were there with that monster.”
Clem looked at me and nodded, confirming what I was just now starting to suspect. Xander only looked confused.
“What? What does he know?” Xander asked.
I was still trying to absorb the knowledge myself and I fought to keep from shaking in reaction.
“Spike. Our Spike. My Spike. He’s still around. He was the one that saved us.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The next morning Xander and I ventured over to the Magic Box. The night before we had gone to bed with our minds too full to think about anything rationally. I put Xander in the master bedroom. It still smelled of Willow’s herbs and, I imagined, of Tara’s blood, no matter how many times we cleaned it. For Clem, I set up a cot in the basement. He told us that he didn’t want to be any trouble, but I knew if he wandered out into the night he might never wander back in. The new Spike didn’t seem to be the forgive and forget type of guy.
Xander hesitated as we reached the store. Anya was inside. I knew they still loved each other and the whole situation made me want to knock their heads together. But, because I figured achy heads don’t usually resolve love problems, I restrained myself.
Inside we tried to explain the situation to Anya, but she didn’t seem to want to believe us. As we stood talking I heard noises coming from the basement storage room, the basement storage room that led to the sewers.
“Anya, is anyone else here with you today?” I asked.
“No.” she replied, puzzled, until she heard it too.
It was getting louder, closer, coming up the steps towards us. We all looked at each other in alarm, before Xander grabbed Anya’s hand and we ran for the exit. As we ran into the bright, sunshine filled street, the basement door flew open and Spike emerged from the shadows followed by his demon minions. Standing on the sidewalk we watched through the store’s windows as the shop was completely and systematically destroyed. Again. Black Magic Willow could’ve taken lessons from Spike. We didn’t stay too close, as, periodically, things would hurl through the air at us and we would have to dodge the shattering glass. Tears quietly streamed down Anya’s face as she watched her beloved store murdered, bleeding potions and elixirs out of the door to run into the gutters.
That night we had another addition to our little refugee family.
I finally got on the phone and talked to Angel. I didn’t have much of a choice, since he was the only other souled vampire that existed and I needed some information. He told me that the soul and demon were constantly in battle, struggling for dominance. The soul however was the strongest of the pair, which was how he was able to keep his demon in check. However, when feeding, when going into game face and letting the fangs descend, the demon takes control.
When he had shifted into the vamp, Spike, the Spike that loved me, had taken control and saved me. I had been lucky that he’d tried to bite me instead of just breaking my neck. Thank God for small miracles.
I was tired of cowering while he swaggered about. I was going to fight him. I was the Chosen One, the Slayer and in the end he was just another vampire. It was time to hunt him down and kill him. And if he killed me instead? Well, that was the fate of all slayers. I would take the fight to him.
Too bad he brought the fight to me first.
The Reckoning
We prepared throughout the next morning, sharpening stakes and honing the edges on axes and swords. We were going to war and we knew it. It was unfortunate that the person we were going to battle against knew how we operated, our strengths and weaknesses. And we were weak. No Giles, no Willow. And no Spike to help us. Clem, Anya, Xander and I headed towards Spike’s crypt that afternoon. Under the autumn sun, among the tombstones and graves, I shivered. We crept closer, huddled together, my little group of warriors.
For months, that crypt with its sarcophagus, comfy chair and television, had felt a little like home. It was welcoming and safe and, briefly, I had been happy there. I had been loved there. Now the crypt stood quiet and cold, as we approached the door.
Taking a deep breath, I kicked the door open and we moved inside. The crypt appeared to be abandoned. It was only as we turned to leave that we saw the message Spike had left for us. It was the larger Chaos demon that I had seen at Willy’s bar. Damn. I’d been hoping that he had gotten away when we did. He was lying on the floor behind the door. The message etched into his flesh read. “Try Again”.
So we tried again and again. We checked out the wreckage of the burned warehouse. We looked in the caves. The Crawford Street Mansion was abandoned too. We even checked Xander’s basement and Giles’ old apartment. Nothing. We did find something at the Hellmouth, though.
Several demons were there, trying to summon powers to make themselves invincible. It didn’t take much effort to figure out why. I paused, thinking that it might not be a bad thing to have some more demons on our side. But, since they weren’t phrasing their request as wanting invincibility until they killed Spike, I figured I better go ahead and kill them while the killing was good.
After the battle I saw Anya kicking a dead demon, where, if he had been alive, it might’ve done some good. Xander and Clem were both watching her, flinching in a typical guy reaction. Since I was the only one not instinctively covering myself, I walked over and tried to talk to her.
“Anya, it’s dead.”
“Not dead enough. Look at this,” she cried pointing to a rip in her blouse. “He tore my blouse and it was my favorite.
She stomped down again, hard and I was reminded of Kendra’s anger at the Taraka assassin for slicing her shirt. I froze. Kendra had died because Angel had distracted me, leading me away from my friends. Now cold fear gripped me as I realized something. Maybe Spike was distracting me too?
Dawn!
We raced back towards Revello Drive. It hadn’t been dark long and I prayed that we weren’t too late. But as we reached my house we saw the front window smashed, and glass littered the floor of the living room. I knew Spike couldn’t enter without an invitation, so he must have sent his demon friends. Inside I found the body of a Tesseturatori Demon. They’re pretty easy to identify because of their extremely large, sensitive ears that hang down from their heads to their hips. The ears on this one were bleeding, and a wave of pride came over me. You’ve got to hand it to Dawn. Not many girls could kill a demon, even a Tesseturatori demon, simply by screaming. You need to hit those really shrill tones.
I continued to search the ground floor while Anya and Xander checked out the upstairs. Clem took the basement. No Dawn. We went back outside to see if we could find any clues as to where they might have taken her.
“Buffy, you don’t have a really big dog that sheds a lot, do you?”
Anya pointed to a large clump of fur about ten feet from the front door.
“Or it could be a bear, I guess.”
I shook my head.
“No big dogs or bears around here.”
We all headed in the same direction as Anya. Anya let out a little squeal.
“Look another one! I’m really good at this whole tracking business.”
Sure enough, lying another fifteen feet from the first clump was a second large clump of hair. Dawn was leaving a trail. My sister, the hair puller strikes again.
The trail led all the way over to my next-door neighbor’s house. I’ve lost neighbors before to villains who were trying to get close to me, the most memorable being the worm guy. If this trend kept up, though, real estate agents were going to have to start disclosing it to potential buyers. The roof leaks. The house lies on a flood plain. Oh yes, the Slayer lives next door.
Quietly, Anya, Xander, Clem, and I walked up on the porch.
“You know, if we’re wrong about this, then I’m going to be banned from block parties for life,” I whispered to my companions.
With a powerful kick I sent the door flying inward and entered, sword ready.
My neighbors were into the chrome, glass and leather type of furniture, which really didn’t go with the style of the house. On the other hand, you could probably clean blood off of it pretty easily. If any of my neighbors had survived, that was going to come in handy.
Two demons were in the living room trying to tie Dawn up. I say trying, because Dawn was struggling for all she was worth. They already had a gag in her mouth and her hands were tied, but her feet were still causing them problems. One of the demons was making a real effort, but the furry one who sported several bald patches, seemed more concerned about staying out of the range of Dawn’s sneakers. This put him a lot closer to the front door than his companion, so he was the first to die. The second demon didn’t last much longer.
Xander and Anya were helping Dawn to her feet and untying her hands when I heard a noise behind us. I spun around and saw Spike and his last demon friend standing in the doorway. The remaining demon was huge. Spike looked at the broken door then back at me.
“What is it with you and doors, Summers? Your sis is The Key. Maybe you should consider being the Turner of Knobs.
“I just like to make sure there aren’t any monsters hiding behind them.”
“Should know me better. Don’t hide behind anything.”
“What about your friend here, Mr. Hulking Brute?
“Him? Don’t worry, luv. He’s not going hurt you. Now, the others, they may not be so lucky.
I launched myself forward. Not at Spike, as he obviously expected, but at the demon. I landed on the beast, knocking him into the sofa, tipping it over from the force of our weight hitting it.
“Xander, get Dawn out of here!” I yelled.
Anya and Xander, with Clem following close behind, pushed Dawn towards the exit. They were running out of the house when I was dragged off the demon, and tossed to the far side of the room, losing my sword. As I got to my feet, I saw the demon racing after them and moved to stop it, but Spike was blocking my path. He came closer.
“Seems it’s just you and me, now.”
I pulled a stake out of the back of my waistband.
“Fine with me. I prefer you, anyway.”
As he neared me, I kicked him once in the gut and then in the face. I was going for a third time in the chest, when he caught my foot and twisted, spinning me to the floor. I quickly flipped back to my feet.
“Why were you after Dawn? It’s me you want.”
“Do want you. But on my terms. Sis was just going to be a bit of a bargaining chip.
He threw a punch at me, which I ducked. I managed to hit him in the jaw, but he didn’t slow down. He grabbed my arm and threw me against the wall. Pictures of my happy, smiling neighbors hung nearby. As I thrust my elbow behind me, into Spike’s face, I watched the photos tremble and fall to the ground.
He stumbled a few feet back. I turned and kicked him, knocking him to the floor. Leaping on top of him, I straddled him. My stake was over his heart. All it would take now would be one quick downward thrust, then, he would be gone forever. I hesitated.
“You can’t kill me, can you Summers?” he taunted. “You’ve never been able to kill me. You can’t even admit to yourself the real reason you never wanted to tell your friends about us.”
“You mean besides the fact that you’re a homicidal maniac?”
With a quick twist, he knocked me to the side and rolled on top of me, pinning my arms.
“You were afraid they’d make you stop. Make you stop seeing me, stop sleeping with me. That was something you didn’t want to do.”
“Ego, much?”
Leaning closer he hissed in my ear.
“You love me.”
“No, it was never love.”
I pushed him off, sending him crashing into a glass table, and got to my feet. As he stood, shards tinkled and sprayed around him. Once again he came at me.
“I’m sure you could have found someone other than a disgusting, evil fiend to have sex with you, if that’s all it was. Could have done it with that stupid git, Richard the night you met him, and your friends would’ve been happy as clams.”
I yelled as I punched Spike hard in the face.
“That would have been using him. It would have hurt him.”
He returned my punch. We backed off and eyed each other, looking for weaknesses.
“If you were just into the using, you could’ve gone by the Bronze and picked up a dozen different men every night. They would’ve been more than happy to be used by you.”
“I don’t do things like that.”
“No, you don’t, do you? Face it Summers, it was love.
He couldn’t be right could he? I had never even considered sleeping with anyone else. Spike was the one who made me feel alive. The only one.
“Too bad lover boy isn’t really around anymore, isn’t it?” he continued. “And I’ve got you to thank for it. You made him weak.”
“It wasn’t me. It was the chip.”
We circled each other. He would take a step forward; I would take a step back. I would step to the side and he would match it, looking for an opening.
“Been thinking about this little chip problem of mine. Running low on demons in this town and have to be more creative in my fun. Think the chip would go off if I happened to drop a lit cigarette in the trash at the movies? Or maybe caused a gas leak somewhere?”
I was horrified.
“It was never the chip that stopped me, Summers. Never.”
Spike slammed into me, pushing me up against the wall, holding me there against his body.
“I’ve always been able to get inside your head and figure you out. Made me so damn frustrated that you wouldn’t admit to loving me, a soulless thing. Got a soul now, just for you. Don’t you like it?”
“It’s sick. Twisted.”
I kicked him hard. He flew back several yards landing on his side. He smirked as he looked up at me.
“Yeah, it is, isn’t. Too bad you can’t make me lose it like you did Angel’s.”
Stunned, I stared at him, then, I heard Dawn cry out. Oh, God, the demon! I couldn’t believe that I’d forgotten about it. I ran, leaving Spike still on the floor. In the yard, Xander and Clem’s weapons gleamed, blood running down over the metal while the dead demon lay at their feet. They were staring at an upset Dawn, panting, trying to catch their breath.
“Dawn, what’s wrong?”
“Stupid demon. Bled on my new Sketchers.”
By the time I went back into the house, Spike had disappeared.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
That evening after Xander did his best to cover up the broken window, we sat in the living room and analyzed the results of the night. Spike had killed the Chaos Demon and my neighbors. We had killed all four of Spike’s demon friends, plus the demons at the Hellmouth. The only casualties we personally sustained were a ruined blouse and sneakers. The final casualty I didn’t mention to the others. I’d lost my firm conviction that I wasn’t in love with the Spike. Spike, who was now trapped inside a body with an evil soul.
I needed advice so I called the one person I could always count on for clear thinking. The phone rang and rang, until it was finally picked up. I heard fumbling on the other end, and then, a familiar but groggy voice came on the line.
“Hello?” Giles mumbled.
“Giles, It’s me, Buffy.”
“Buffy?”
“I hope you’re not mad that I called you.”
“Certainly not. I am always more than happy to talk to you at…four thirty in the morning. What seems to be the problem?”
“It’s Spike. He’s back.”
I heard a sigh. I’d told Giles about my relationship with Spike. Well, an extremely edited and censored version of the relationship, but Giles knew Spike and probably had no difficulty filling in the great big, gaping holes I had left in the story when I’d talked to him.
“Buffy, it was to be expected. Sunnydale is, for better or worse, Spike’s place of residence. He was bound to return.”
“You don’t understand.”
Taking a deep breath, I continued.
“Spike came back wrong.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – — – – – – – –
After getting off the phone with Giles, I stood there thinking. I missed Giles. Really, really missed him. But I missed someone else more. Spike. I wanted to trade insults with him. When one of his more pointed remarks hit a sore spot, I wanted to see his eyes flicker with a twinge of remorse. I wanted to throw myself in his arms and be rocked and comforted. I missed the sex, but I missed him holding me afterwards more. I missed him telling me that he loved me.
Even through the walls of my house I could feel him outside, prowling. I closed my eyes tightly and let my Slayer senses seek out the demon in him. He was in the backyard now, close by, watching, and when he felt me he stopped pacing. For minutes I reveled in the feel of him, before the sound of the doorbell broke me out of my reverie. I hurried to answer it, pretending to myself that those last few moments hadn’t happened.
And when I opened the door, I couldn’t believe this was happening either. Outside, standing on my front porch was someone I never thought I’d ever see again.
“Be a dearie and invite me in,” Drusilla crooned.
The Restoration
I saw Spike coming around the corner of the house. Drusilla saw him, too.
“Hurry, dearie.” She entreated.
“Drusilla, you and you alone are invited in.”
God, I couldn’t believe that I had actually said that. That I’d just let her into my home. We were definitely doing another Uninvite Spell when this was all over. As she entered with a swirl of her skirts, we looked back at Spike, frustrated at losing his quarry. With a resounding bang I closed the door, shutting him out.
Drusilla and I eyed each other. I’d always been curious about her. She’d been with Angel and then Spike, just as I had. We obviously had the same taste in men. I wondered if it would be wrong of me to recommend Parker to her.
Spike and I had fought many times when he first arrived in Sunnydale. We had gotten to know each other as we traded blows and barbed comments. Long before our truce, I felt as if I knew him. Drusilla? Not so much. She’d killed Kendra, so she was dangerous. I also knew she was crazy. The only time we had spent in each other’s company, however, was when Spike tied us up and threatened to sic one on the other. It wasn’t a good situation for forming sisterly bonds. I looked at her closely. What did they see in her? I mean take away the slender form, the long legs, the full breasts, luxuriant hair, incredible eyes and the whole Princess of Darkness stuff and what was left?
I soon found out. She was entertaining as hell.
The next few hours were spent watching the Drusilla and Miss Edith Variety Show. As we all sat around the living room and stared at her, she would hum a tune that would cause shivers to go up and down our spines, then start swaying to music only she could hear. Creepy.
We had a problem when she wanted crumpets for Miss Edith’s party and we didn’t have any. Her pitiful whines even caused me to go looking through the pantry shelves, searching for something I knew with absolute certainty had never been purchased by any occupant of the house. Finally Dawn solved the problem by giving Dru a pack of Poptarts, telling her that they were a new type of American crumpet. This pleased her. By the end of it, I swear we were all sitting on the edge of our seats, waiting to see if Miss Edith would actually eat the darn things.
I decided to feed Drusilla as well, because I didn’t like the way she kept hungrily eyeing Xander. Twice, Xander started moving towards her in a daze only to be brought short each time by a sharp poke in the ribs from Anya. But when I served Drusilla a mug of pig’s blood with a straw, she looked at it, not quite sure what she was supposed to do with it. We had to explain to her that it was for her to drink, that she was to sip the blood through the straw. After her first taste, she got a funny look on her face and asked whom she was drinking. Xander, Clem, Dawn and Anya all stared at me. I told Drusilla it was Mr. Gordo. It was all I could think of. Dawn sniggered the entire rest of the time while Drusilla ate.
And how she controlled the boys. I wondered how much of her looniness was real and how much was just a way to manipulate them. First she complained that she was cold, looking at Xander under dark eyelashes. In a flash, he ran upstairs to the linen closet, retrieved a blanket and was back, gently placing it around her shoulders. Then she wanted a “spot of tea”. Clem gave me a dirty look I didn’t even know he was capable of when I asked “Just a spot?” and left for the kitchen to brew some. If she could get them to do what she wanted after a short, edgy acquaintance, what could she get a man to do after a one-hundred year love affair?
It got late so the others went off to bed. We had decided that Anya would sleep in the master bedroom with Xander instead of in my room with me. It was interesting to see how the two of them looked everywhere but at each other, made outrageously feeble protests, and glowed with anticipation. Drusilla would join me in my bed and no, not like that so get your mind out of the gutter. We would chain her to the headboard then handcuff our wrists together so she wouldn’t be able to get up and eat a snack while we were asleep.
Before Drusilla and I went upstairs I wanted to strategize a bit. This consisted of me talking and Dru interrupting her humming to make weird little comments. First, I tried to find out why she was here in Sunnydale. I heard a lot about knights, buzzing, and the moon so I gave up on that one. I did manage to figure out that she had sensed Spike was trapped and suffering. She had come riding to the rescue, a demented Lone Ranger with Miss Edith as Tonto. I decided to focus on the problem.
“Spike got a soul from a demon after completing a series of tests,” I told her.
“The fishies whispered that in my ear.”
I guessed the fishies hadn’t mentioned that souled Spike seemed tailor-made for her. I could be wrong, though. It was the old Spike who had loved Drusilla. This new version might make what Angelus did to her seem like child’s play.
“I talked to Giles on the phone. Giles is my Watcher. He thinks that the demon reached into hell for Spike’s new soul.”
She got a wistful look on her face.
“He’s such a lovely kisser.”
“Who? The demon?”
She’s kissed the demon? A little weirded out here.
“No. Your Watcher.”
Her smile spread and you could tell that she was reliving the moment. She’s kissed Giles? Now a lot weirded out. Giles never told me about that. File it under things to bring up when Giles gets on my case about having relationships with vampires. So far this strategy session was not going too well. I decided to get right to the heart of the matter.
“Listen carefully.”
I spoke as slowly and as clearly as I could, hoping it could penetrate the fog that seemed to surround Drusilla.
“Giles thinks that Spike will return to being the usual soulless not-really-evil-at-all-fiend we all know and kinda love if we could get him to lose his soul. Right now Giles and my friend Willow are researching ways to make that happen.”
Drusilla laughed and clapped her hands with glee.
“We’ll get my Spike back soon then.”
“My Spike,” I replied. “And how do you figure that?”
She stood and looked down at me, regally. Funny how wearing an elaborate nightgown can make a girl look regal.
“I’ll just do what I did before. I’ll bite him and make that soul of his float away”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The next morning, after undoing the handcuffs while she slept like the dead that she was, I looked at her. The girl was entirely too comfortable chained up. Shrugging, I left the room to shower and dress. By the time I got downstairs the others had gathered in the living room. Xander and Anya were sitting on the couch holding hands. When I looked at her, color seeped into Anya’s face. She was blushing! I stared. I hadn’t known that Anya could blush; I’d never seen it before. Clem asked anxiously about Drusilla, which seemed to amuse Dawn. I assured him that she was sleeping quite well.
I told the gang what she’d told me, that she thought she could bite Spike and do the whole ritual thing, drinking all of his blood and having him feed from her. It should destroy his soul. Last night I’d made another expensive transatlantic call to Giles, and he had confirmed that this would probably work.
“Okay. Tell me again why we’re not just staking this guy?” Xander asked.
I looked at my friends. I could lie. I had gotten quite good at lying, especially to myself. But these people trusted me with their lives so I felt that I should trust them with the truth.
“We’re not staking him because I don’t want to kill Spike.”
I knew what I was about to say would start a fight with Xander, trigger protests from Dawn, and start me down a path I’d never planned on traveling. Taking a deep breath I continued, feeling more exposed than if I were naked.
“I love him.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
By the time the sun went down I was waiting for Spike outside his crypt. I had set the stage for a nice romantic evening, Spike-style. Inside, his favorite music was playing, a bottle of cheap booze was on the table, and a set of chains had been prepared. There wasn’t another living thing in sight. There weren’t any dead things in sight either. I had doused myself in my favorite perfume so that he wouldn’t have any trouble tracking me down and the scent was so strong, I thought it might frighten small animals. I’d lost all sense of smell myself.
Those that weren’t wigged out by that were probably being frightened off by the pounding rhythms of “The Ramones” I had blasting through the crypt. If loud noises really could wake the dead, then I was going to have a lot of company soon.
I sensed him before I saw him and closed my eyes, so that I could concentrate on his presence. He was close by, and when I opened my eyes again he was standing just a few yards away, gazing at me.
“What’s all this?”
Smiling at him I replied.
“I was thinking about what you said. About making you lose that soul of yours? I was thinking about how Angel lost his.”
I definitely had his attention. I continued, purring at him.
“So, ready to experience a moment of perfect happiness?”
Room temperature vampires are not supposed to emit heat, but as he moved closer I got warmer. When he was a few feet away he stopped, considering the situation for a moment.
“How do I know you don’t have a bunch of stakes hidden on you?”
I was wearing his duster and, holding my arms out wide so that it gaped open, I revealed that I was wearing very little underneath.
“I have a lot of stakes hidden. Why don’t you search me for them?”
He moved so quickly that almost before I knew it, he had me pinned against the crypt wall, grinding into me. His hands roamed over my body, while his mouth moved up and down my neck. It felt so good, and for a moment sensations overwhelmed me. The only thing that mattered was his body against mine. When he moved to lift my legs around his waist, my sanity returned and I pushed him back. Stunned, he stared at me.
“Up against a crypt wall is really good, but not perfect. Let’s go inside.”
I turned and entered his crypt, and he followed me as if we were tied together by some invisible link. He saw the booze, which he dismissed, but then his eyes settled on the chains. With a great deal of effort, I had driven the end of the chains into the ground on each side of the sarcophagus. The manacles rested on top. When I stood next to it, he arched an eyebrow at me. I shrugged my shoulders.
“After all those months, you think I don’t know what you like?”
With a low growl he strode towards me and I waited, ready for him in every way. As he reached me, I grabbed him and threw him on top of the sarcophagus, then joined him there. Straddling him. His eyes widened at that, but I just smiled.
“Remember? Perfect happiness?”
Slowly, I lowered myself down on him until I could feel the rough fabric of his jeans against the sensitive flesh of my inner thighs. The leather of his duster pooled around us. Then with agonizingly leisurely movements I began to rub against him. He closed his eyes and groaned. I carried on, until we were both moaning with pleasure. Opening his eyes he looked at me.
“As delicious as this feels, Summers, don’t think it will work if we don’t get these clothes off soon.”
Stilling my motion I grinned at him.
“Oh, don’t worry, the clothes are coming off.”
I ran my hands up the skin underneath his shirt, after tugging it from the waistband of his jeans.
“Let’s start with this first.”
My hands spread, and smoothed across the flesh of his abdomen, then moved higher, over his chest, shoving the shirt up as I went. When I was almost to his shoulders, he leaned forward, allowing the shirt to be pulled over his head. With his hands above his head, I raised my hips and tilted my body over him; my breasts hovered over his mouth as I pushed the clothing further along the muscular length of his arms.
When I had the shirt around his wrists, I gave it a violent twist and pinned his hands together. It wasn’t until Xander and Clem leapt out of the shadows and slipped the manacles over his arms, that comprehension sank in. With a howl of fury, he bucked and yanked. The shirt tore in two, but the chains held. Unfortunately they had a bit of play in them, and in his initial burst of rage he managed to backhand Xander and send him sprawling to the floor.
The loud music had managed to mask their heartbeats, and the perfume we all wore had covered their individual odors. We all stunk to high heaven, and our ears hurt, but it was worth it. He was trapped.
Still straddling Spike I tried to keep him still. Xander was back off the floor now, and trying to hold Spike’s left arm down while Clem was working on the right. Anya and Dawn were behind me holding onto his legs, when Drusilla finally appeared. He saw her and his struggles intensified.
As she came closer, he managed to break his arm away from Clem’s grip and strike at her. The blow glanced off of her shoulder, sending her reeling back and she would’ve fallen if Clem hadn’t managed to catch her. He held Drusilla carefully, as if she was made of glass and, as she shyly smiled her gratitude, he gazed at her in adoration. Aw, demon love. It would almost have been sweet, if I hadn’t been trying to keep a powerful, enraged vampire still.
“A little help here!”
I shouted at the lovebirds and, bashfully, Clem resumed his post next to Spike. Dru looked down at her former love, and her fangs and yellow eyes emerged. In moments she was at his neck, swallowing.
This was a really strange experience for me. Since being called, I’d devoted my life to preventing vampires from sucking out souls. Now I was helping one to do it. Spike wasn’t going quietly, either. Though he was weakened, he continued to pull at the chains and the grip on his limbs. Near the end, as a last ditch effort, he went into game face and for a second I saw the surprise on his face as my Spike emerged, then the yellow eyes flickered and the soul was gone. Quickly, Drusilla slit her wrist with a fingernail and forced her blood into Spike’s mouth. He drank convulsively, then was still.
Though I trembled, near to exhaustion from the effort I had expended, I lifted myself off his body and onto the floor. Dawn hugged me while I smiled my thanks to the others. Then turning, I looked at Spike’s still form.
“Don’t worry, precious,” Drusilla cooed. “Temperance will be achieved”.
I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about, so I just nodded. Then it hit me. Once, in an effort to improve my driving skills Willow had tried to explain to me the physics involved when driving a car. Since my knowledge consisted of ‘turn key, press gas’, I spent most of the time smiling and nodding my head. Maybe, it occurred to me, Drusilla isn’t insane. Maybe her intellect resides on an entirely different plane than ours. At that moment Clem, having retrieved Miss Edith from her place of safety, handed her to Dru who shrieked with delight.
“Miss Edith, if you’re good, next time you can join us.”
Or maybe not.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Drusilla was quite put out when I wouldn’t let her bury him. She said it was tradition for vampires to dig themselves out of a grave. But my memories of my own experience were still a little too vivid, and I wasn’t about to do that to Spike. Instead I laid him on my bed, and waited.
Clem came in and said good-bye. He knew of a ship leaving the docks for Asia and he and Drusilla were going there together. I stood and gave him a gentle kiss on that sweet, saggy cheek of his.
“Take care. And don’t take any crap from Miss Edith.”
He smiled and left the room. Later I heard the front door close, as two of the most interesting beings I had ever met left my home. I wondered if I would see either of them again.
Occasionally Dawn would wander in, impatient that Spike still wasn’t awake. Each time she appeared, I thought of things for her to do. She could reheat the mug of blood I had waiting for him, she could clean his duster, that sort of thing. It worked. Soon she quit coming in and bugging me. When Xander came in, he didn’t say anything for a long while. He just watched me, watching Spike. Finally he gave me a quick hug, and dropped a kiss on the top of my head.
“I love you,” he whispered into my hair, then left.
As the sun went down and the room darkened, I lit a couple of candles on my dresser. I didn’t want him to wake up in total darkness. Then I lay down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. Time passed.
I felt a soft movement, a tremor in the body next to mine and I looked up. His eyes were open and he was staring at me.
“Buffy?”
I grinned at his confusion. I would explain everything to him later. We had a lot of things to work through, but we had plenty of time for that. For right now, all that mattered was that he was here with me. I smiled, letting my love for him shine through me.
“Welcome back, Spike,” I said.
The End.