Author’s Notes: Written in response to the drabble prompt by bloody_bint, who asked for: I would like Spuffy, season four, post Something Blue. Maybe Spike opening up about how he really felt during the spell. I dont know, i’m just pulling from anywhere. That is my fav season though and I liked chipped Spike. Let the muse play! Longish would be great! *smooch*
This got longer than I thought, so at over 1500 words it’s not really a drabble. Hope you don’t mind, Carly? *makes puppy eyes*
Beta’d by my lovely friends Tina and Deanna. Thank you for all your suggestions, edits and for being there for me whenever I need you. Love you, cariños!
Before Red’s spell, Spike would’ve staked himself before admitting he had feelings for the Slayer. Deep, abiding feelings. The kind that didn’t go away just because you wished them to.
He fought it all he could. Fought against his Ripe Wicked Plum’s visions, fooled himself into thinking she was more off her rocker than usual when she said he was covered in her, in the Slayer, that he wasn’t hers anymore. Fought to prove her wrong, to get her back, only to discover that ship had sailed… for both of them.
In his defense, he truly didn’t see it until it literally hit him in the face. Until he experienced firsthand what it meant to love the Slayer and be loved by her. They were happy in those few hours they were engaged, and there was no bloody doubt in his mind, if she gave him a chance they could ‘recapture the magic’, so to speak. Only without the sodding witch’s intervention and no real magic involved.
He’d been foolish—and drunk off his bloody arse—that one time to believe a spell would solve all his problems. However, as he recently discovered the hard way, the thing about magic was there were always consequences. Always.
And this case was not an exception.
What other explanation was there for him to be stalk— ahem, following the Slayer during patrol? Especially now when he was finally out of the Watcher’s flat for good after discovering he could at least fight demons without the blasted chip firing up.
He just needed a chance; just one, to show her that they could be like that again, that they could make this real.
He knew she felt something for him. Something that wasn’t hate or pity or disgust. Something had changed because of the spell; made their view of the other transform exponentially and if the covert glances she threw him, and the faint blush that covered her cheeks when he’d caught her were anything to go by, perhaps he did have a chance in hell with her.
Buffy could sense him trailing after her. Feel his eyes follow her every move. Strangely, what before would’ve pissed her off to no end or put her on edge, now brought her some semblance of comfort. At least with him she knew where she stood… somewhat.
After Willow put an end to the travesty she called a spell she couldn’t be sure of anything anymore.
It’d felt so real, so good, so… perfect to be engaged to Spike, to be in love with him, to have that devotion she’d envied Drusilla for so many times directed at her. They had been happy, sure they’d also fought a lot, but she’d been genuinely happy for the first time in… well, ever.
Leave it to one of her friends to ruin it for her.
She heaved a miserable sigh, looking up at the sky and shaking her head sadly. If it’d been her who messed up, they’d be on her case like white on rice. But it’d been Willow, so a whole different set of rules applied.
Her friend had baked cookies and everyone had forgiven her for all they went through for those few hours. Everyone but her.
It’d taken this for her to finally realize that Xander and Willow perhaps weren’t as good friends as she’d always thought. It wasn’t like they’d ever supported her or given her a break. Like after the incident with the Master or when she ran away after killing Angel. They were actually baffled she wasn’t the Buffy they were used to when she came back both times, as if what she went through was nothing to be troubled over.
They meddled in her life, made choices for her—choices that more often than not, weren’t right for her—but did they ever take her thoughts or even her feelings into account when they did? No, of course not; why would they? And if that wasn’t bad enough, whenever it was either of them who messed up, she was supposed to be there for them no matter what and just forgive and forget anything they might do to her. So not fair.
Spike had changed though, from the big bad he used be… and not only because of the chip in his head. It had been more obvious after the spell, after discovering he could fight demons. He was less abrasive, more willing to help, to fight on and by her side. The enthusiasm with which he’d thrown himself into patrolling was almost endearing. Not that she could blame him; she still remembered how it’d been to lose her powers that one time, so she could empathize with the blond vampire.
If she told her friends she was contemplating pursuing something with Spike, they’d probably have a stroke and thrown her in the loony-bin like her parents had done once before. However, right now, she wasn’t too sure she cared what they thought. If they were really her friends they would want her happy, no matter with whom.
If there was a chance they could actually make this work, she was willing to give it a try. It couldn’t be worse than her latest attempt at normal. She shuddered as she thought back to Riley. She’d tried, she really did, but there was only so much boredom she was willing to endure for her friends. He was so not for her. Unlike Spike who, if nothing else, would at least keep her on her toes.
“Are you just going to follow me all night or join me for patrol?” she asked finally, slowing her gait slightly, allowing him time to catch up.
She smiled when she heard his footsteps approaching her from behind.
“Jus’ wasn’ sure you’d want me to tag along, love,” Spike replied, falling into step beside her, giving her an inquisitive look. “How did you know it was me an’ not some random vamp?”
Buffy shrugged and scrunched her nose in that way he found so adorable. “I just do. It feels different… the tingles, I mean.”
He tilted his head to the side, trying to gauge the sense of her words. “Different?”
She chewed on her lip, throwing him a sideways glance and blushing at the way he was looking at her. He was too damn perceptive for her taste. “Yeah. Don’t know why, really. I just know when it’s you and not another vampire.”
“So, `m special then,” he stated teasingly.
“Yes, I suppose you are.”
“Damn right, I am.” The vampire stopped right in his tracks, mouth agape. “Wait… what?”
“What what?” she asked, a small smile playing on her lips. This was too much fun!
“An’ you say `m evil,” he pouted.
“Awwww, pouty!” She threw her arms around his neck, surprising the hell out of him. “Look at that lip… gonna get it… gonna get it…” she said, capturing his bottom lip between hers and nibbling on it, until he pulled slightly away from her.
“Slay—, er, Buffy?”
“What are you doin’?”
“Taking a chance,” she replied, pulling his head down again to kiss him softly.
He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. “Hmm, not that `m complainin’ but… what’s the meanin’ of this?”
“I’m just doing some… research.” Oh yes, this was fun. He was shocked by the turn of events, that much was obvious.
“Research.” His face fell a little at that.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me what I’m researching?” She pouted slightly, her hands playing with the lapels of his duster.
He sighed; he was so bloody whipped already. “What are you researchin’, pet?”
“If your kisses were still as good as they were while we were under the spell,” she said in a breathy whisper, looking at him from beneath lowered eyelashes, her cheeks tingeing a bright red.
“Yeah.” She lowered her face, hiding behind her hair until he brought it up by placing a finger under her chin.
A smirk drew on his face at how shy she seemed with him all of a sudden. Perhaps he might have a chance with his little Slayer, after all. “An’ what’s the verdict then, love?”
“Well, I don’t have much with which to make an informed decision, but I’m thinking potentially they can be better.”
“Can they now? And why is that?”
“Because this is… real. At least for me it is.” She gulped, raising her eyes to his, searching for a clue as to what he was feeling and finding a whole lot more than she expected.
“You know why I was followin’ you tonight, love?” She shook her head no and he continued, “I was goin’ to ask you for a chance, beg you for one if that’s what you wanted.”
“A chance for what, exactly?”
“To show you how good we can be.”
Buffy had hoped she hadn’t mistaken the signs that had told her he might be interested in her for real, but this? This was even better than anything she could have imagined.
“What are you waiting for, then?” she said coyly. “Show me.”
He lowered his head, their lips a hairsbreadth away. “Your wish is my command, love,” he vowed, claiming her mouth in a kiss that stole her breath away before taking her hand in his and leading her towards his crypt.