Chapter Nineteen
Buffy watched as Spike took in the declaration of her feelings. She couldn’t stand the shock in his eyes and reassured him, “I mean it.”
Spike bowed his head as he did when she first told him that the night they spent together meant something to her. That time, she was sure he felt the same way. . . knew it because he spent the night watching her and holding her like he would never let her go. But now, she was not so sure he felt the same way. Not after everything they’d gone through the last few days and not after so many years had passed. Maybe he just wanted her to say it out loud to humiliate her. . . the way she had humiliated him so many times before.
“Don’t leave me hanging. Please.” Buffy’s voice was more desperate than she wanted it to be, but she also knew he had a right to be angry with her – a right to reject her.
Spike suddenly met her gaze, and she barely caught the tenderness and passion in his eyes before he buried the torch in the dirt ground and brought his mouth to hers with such force that her breath was taken away. After only a second’s hesitation, she matched his ardor, and before she realized what was happening, he had her up against the cavern wall, crushing his body to hers as her legs went around his hips.
Her body responded to his almost instinctively as she felt his need against her thigh, and she longed to have him inside of her after so much time apart. She felt him come on so strong but then somehow hesitate and slow down even as he pressed his lips over hers. . . over her neck to tickle and lick the hollow of her throat.
Buffy clung to him, mindful of her Slayer strength, but also wanting to make sure he knew she was sure – so sure of him that she was all in. If love were a round of Texas Hold ‘Em, she was all in: her whole heart, body, mind, and spirit. Feelings of relief, joy, love, and the most primal need – something that she only ever felt with him – seemed to fill her whole being, and she hoped he knew that with each stroke of her hand and kiss of her lips that she loved him, truly loved him, in a way that she never loved anyone else.
When she realized that they were obligated to breathe, he pulled back.
She blinked at him, still a little frightened that he would shove her away and deny what she felt between them.
“Buffy?”
She couldn’t bring herself to say another word and turned her gaze to the right, her arms dropping away from their position around his neck. Her stomach sank into her abdomen and a rush of pain shot through her chest.
He stroked her shoulder blade with reassuring fingertips. “You know that I love you, too. Always have. Always will.”
Buffy sagged against him, trembling a little in his arms. “Thank god.” Her words were an echo of a time long past in a basement on Revello Drive, but this time was somehow different.
Spike held her close, and she thought that all of a sudden all the miscommunications, mixed signals, and push-pull between them seemed so silly in the scheme of things. “I’m not going anywhere, pet.”
Her arms tightened around his neck again. “Me either. Not anymore. I promise. Done baking. . . for the most part.” She hesitated and repeated how she felt. “I love you.” She paused, smiling. “That feels so good to say out loud.”
Spike laughed, and Buffy was glad to hear his happiness, had hated that they were both hurting so much.
“I think I can handle a gooey center to my cookies.”
She grinned at him. “Good.” She paused and then said, “I loved you before, you know?”
“I know. Felt it, remember?” He kissed her forehead.
She laid her head on his shoulder. “I felt it, too.”
He gently unhooked her legs from around his waist. She hopped to her feet as he scooped up the pack he had dropped in the dirt. He softly kissed her again before she unearthed the torch, and they continued their journey as the path wound upward, but this time, Buffy’s hand was firmly ensconced in Spike’s, his fingers surrounding hers. She squeezed his hand to hold onto the earlier feelings of desire and hope, and he readily returned the gesture.
Buffy heard him clear his throat before commenting, “I don’t understand something.”
“What’s that?” She glanced up at him, but Spike didn’t return the look. At least he hadn’t let go of her hand.
“I’ve been thinking about the other Buffy. . . why she chose Angel.”
Buffy was confused. “Yeah?”
“And I can come up with a thousand reasons why she chose Angel.”
“A thousand?” She had no idea where he was going with this line of thinking.
“I won’t list them all, but it got me thinking. Why did you choose me? When Angel showed up in Sunnydale with that shiny bauble, why did you send him away and let me bring down the house? It doesn’t make sense in my head.” Spike’s voice got so quiet at the end that Buffy barely heard him.
She was silent for several seconds, and then she said, “I don’t know what the other Buffy was thinking because, in all honesty, Spike, I didn’t think of anyone but you when Angel gave me that medallion. We’d been through too much together. . . more than Angel and me by that point. And did you hear what the other you said? The other me sacrificed herself to save you because she believed in you. Not sure exactly what she did because we didn’t hear that part, but in the end, she made the same decision as me, maybe for different reasons.” She briefly leaned over and hugged his arm. “And I wouldn’t trade the decision I made for all the chocolate in North America.”
Spike smirked. “All the chocolate in North America?”
She shrugged. “Well, all the tea in China didn’t really fit. I’m not a big tea drinker, and America has Hershey’s!”
His next words were serious again. “Did you choose me because I’m human now?”
Her response was swift, firm, and not at all defensive. “No. I chose you because of who you are. . . because I believed in you. I still do.”
She hoped the way she denied his query left him surer of her, and she was gratified by his reply, “Good.” He paused for a few seconds and then said, “I’m glad.”
“Glad of what?” Buffy hefted the torch in her hand.
“Glad that things played out the way they have between us.”
“You don’t think we wasted too much time?”
He gently pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “No, I don’t. We needed that time.”
“And now we have a lot of time.” Buffy tried to sound more confident than she felt inside. Truth be told, she was terrified she might lose him before this operation ended.
“Let’s hope so, pet.”
Time passed in amicable silence, and Buffy tried valiantly to stay in the moment, to focus on being with Spike in a way that she hadn’t been in the past. Their eyes met every now and again, and she kissed his fingers and upper arm more than once. He allowed the touch and dipped to brush his lips over hers, and in that brief window when they were walking together, she felt a rare moment of simple happiness.
Soon, a faint violet light appeared as a glowing pinprick ahead of them. The light grew and expanded as they approached, and the path widened until Buffy and Spike found themselves standing in a small cavern filled with deep purple radiance. . . the magical energy that fed the kranooks. The air was crisper and smelled like what Buffy could only label as a cross between apple pie and crumbling fall leaves.
She stuck the torch back in the ground as Spike unzipped the pack on his back, his bleached hair lavender white in the luminance. He held up the amplifying device, which was the size of a toaster and hummed with a vibrating motion against his palms.
“Guess it’s working,” he commented. “Got the spell ready?”
Buffy pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket and a pouch of herbs. “Ready.”
Together, they approached the center of the space where the light was concentrated and brighter. The energy skipped and danced over their skin as they approached, and the apparatus in Spike’s hand began to crackle with tiny lightning bolts of magic.
Spike shook his head, and he gritted his teeth. “Right. Starting to get painful. Better set it down.”
As soon as the small machine rested in the dirt, and Spike took two steps back to stand beside her, Buffy began chanting the spell, which was written in some ancient language. She only hoped she wasn’t butchering the pronunciation too badly.
About mid-way through the spell reading, the violet light began flowing almost in a stream toward the small device, consuming it so that they could no longer even detect the ridges of wires that covered the smooth surface. Wind began swirling around them, and the torch’s flame was snuffed out. Spike spread his legs to brace himself, and Buffy followed suit, her voice rising in volume but never wavering as she opened her palm and let loose the herbs, which were caught in the gale, mixed with the loose earth, and consumed by the magic. She squinted her eyes against the flying dust and held fast to the page with the spell, continuing until the end.
With a small popping and sucking sound, the gale ceased, the mystical energy resumed its concentrated form in the center of the room, and the machine jumped, teetered back and forth against the ground, and came to a standstill. Buffy stumbled a bit at the change in air pressure, and Spike caught her arm, steadying her.
“Well, that was a complete waste. . .”
Spike trailed off as the tiniest of fissures appeared in the air above the device. As they watched, the split in the air grew and morphed until what appeared to be a life-sized hologram of Willow manifested before them. The edges of her form were shimmering with electric blue power.
She was dressed in a light green peasant top, and her red hair was long and flowing around her shoulders. She blinked in surprise, and when she made them out, she smiled. “Buffy! Spike! Long time, no see. How’d you. . . how are you contacting me?”
“Will! You don’t know how glad I am to see you.” Buffy’s smile was wide, and she wished that her friend were here to hug. “And that is a long long long story, which I’ll tell you at another time.”
“Got it. That better be a promise. It’s wonderful to see you, too.” Willow’s eyes fell on Spike who was still holding Buffy’s arm. “So, still human, huh?”
The corner of Spike’s mouth quirked up. “Yeah, Red. That I am.”
“Still a witch here.”
“Thank goodness,” Buffy noted. She held up the now ragged slip of paper with the spell on it. “I know I was helped out by the magic in this room and that device and possibly some magic weed, but I am so glad that I don’t have to do the spells.”
Giving a little mock salute, Willow said, “Well, despite being impressed and all, I’m happy to be of service.” Then, her expression became more somber. “I heard you have an Angel problem. . . as in he’s all soulless again.”
Buffy glanced at Spike who shrugged a shoulder. She turned back to her friend. “How’d you know?”
“I felt it. You know how I’m connected to the earth?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’m also connected more strongly to all of you, maybe because you belong over here and not there. Plus, I care about you.” Spike raised an eyebrow at Willow, which she acknowledged by adding, “That and I’m here at the site where the city would manifest if it slips over into our dimension. And can I just say that I can definitely feel something happening? I can’t tell exactly what’s going on, but there’s something incredibly powerful going on.”
“Can you restore his soul across dimensional lines?” Spike asked.
Willow reached for something hidden out of view. “Well, I just so happen to have an Orb of Thesulah here.” She tossed a familiar round crystal up and caught the ball neatly against her palm. “And I think this dimensional crack is thin enough to allow me to cast the spell. But first, can you fill me in on what you think is going on?”
Buffy gave Willow the short version of what Roxy had just told them about dimensions, the tension between good and evil, the Senior Partners’ scheming for power, and the vampire society. She also told her about the kranooks. “Honestly, Will, this whole thing makes my head hurt with the trying to understand it. There are so many agendas going on, and there’s this prophecy that says Angel, Spike, and I are supposed to stop the vampires from taking over the world, but whose agenda is that? And the prophecy? While I think it got us here, I’m starting to think it’s a pretty lame red herring.”
“I agree with that,” Spike said. Buffy noticed he’d been quiet during her rendition of the events.
Buffy continued, “I think it’s pretty clear that everyone wants Stephanie dead, but the Senior Partners want the city to stay put. I imagine most of the vampires, including Harmony, want that, too. They have a pretty sweet gig here. The kranooks don’t care what happens to the city as long as they can kill Stephanie, and if we move the city or allow Stephanie to do so, it steals power from the Senior Partners but adds a whole lot of vampires to our dimension, which might not be bad because it gives us more balance in the whole good-evil realm.”
Willow bit her lip as she processed the information. “That is complicated. What do you think?”
Buffy crossed her arms, her mind working over everything. “Honestly? I think we should focus on what seems right and not on what we think the Senior Partners and others could have as a hidden agenda.”
“What’re you thinking, love?” Spike asked, matching her stance.
Buffy glanced between Willow and Spike. “I think we should concentrate on bringing the city into our dimension, killing Stephanie, and getting a hold of the dimensional key. Everything we talked about with everyone else except for the key part.”
Willow nodded, looking thoughtful. “I had a feeling you might say something like that, and it makes sense to me. The balance needs to be restored, and with the tension alleviated, we prevent a whole repeat of the First Evil taking advantage of the imbalance and rearing his its ugly head again.”
“Wolfram and Hart may prefer the tension because it gives them power, but it leaves the world more vulnerable to other not-so-nice forces. And I don’t know if they all came from our dimension, but we can handle it.”
“Seems we need the vampires in the world.” Spike shuddered.
“The fight is needed.” Buffy wasn’t sure the reason for Spike’s reaction, but she brushed her hand over Spike’s lower back to reassure him.
Willow added, “And I have a whole bunch of Slayers and witches on the ready to help out on this end when you do bring the city over. We’ll slay the vampires we can. . . a whole city full will be hard to contain, but then, that’s not the point, is it? We’ll minimize the damage. There’ll be plenty of Slayers all over the world to help out with the ones that get away. We’ll wrangle them back to the places they need to be.”
“You’re good!” Buffy grinned at her friend.
Willow returned the smile and gave a humble little shrug. “I’ve heard people say so.”
“And the kranooks? What’ll we do about them?”
The three became quiet as they considered Spike’s question.
Then, Spike brightened and spoke up with a tone of buoyancy that Buffy hadn’t heard in a while. “Fred!”
Buffy’s eyes grew wide. “Yes, yes! That’s brilliant! Willow, can you call Fred?”
Buffy couldn’t tell, but she thought she saw Willow blush. She guessed old crushes died hard. “Y-yeah. I can call her. Why?”
Spike waved his hand at his head. “She’s a right expert at the whole magic-chip-in-the-brain routine. Fixed us up to come here, and I’d trust her more than Roxy to sort it out.”
Buffy looked at him with affection. “Sounds like we have a plan. We just have to figure out how to execute it and save all those humans. . . somehow. They’re going to need rehabilitation or something.”
“Well, they’ll have lots of help on this end once we bring them over. I think I can help out with the dimensional shift thing on my end if you get a hold of the key,” Willow offered. “If you activate the key, I can expand on the opening and make it grow, so to speak.”
Buffy frowned. “How are we supposed to control the key? Last time, Spike used it, well, half of it, we ended up in some alternate dimension.”
“Don’t want to go back there,” Spike noted. “The kranooks will help us. We can ask Jon.”
Buffy nodded. “We’ll get it done. . . somehow.”
“I have faith in you.” Willow flashed her a glimpse of her old resolve face. “Let’s get Angel his soul back.”
“First things first,” Buffy agreed.
“By the way, I’m happy for you.”
Confusion crossed Buffy’s face. “Huh?”
Looking younger than her years, Willow smiled as she explained, “For the two of you. It’s about time. And Spike?”
“Yeah, Red?”
“I never got to thank you in person. . . well, as in person as I can get right now. . . for the apocalypse in Sunnydale. . . for saving the world.”
“Think you had something to do with it, too.”
“Nah, not really. Well, maybe a little bit. . . helped long enough to give you the shot you needed.” She paused and made a face of frustration. “Spike, just take the damned compliment.”
He grinned.