Chapter 21: Consequences
Dawn blinked in disbelief at Veronica’s very existence. “You didn’t think that, maybe, that last fact is just a wee bit more important?” she couldn’t help but ask sarcastically.
Veronica blinked open one of the eyes that had fluttered closed after her horrific pronouncement. “No room service,” she stuck by her initial determination. “No restaurant. No maids. No laundry.”
Meanwhile, Buffy felt a pit developing in her stomach. After her nasty confrontation with the Haunting the night before, Spike’s killing last night had been brushed to the side. Now that awful churning was beginning anew, however, and she ventured a nervous look in the vampire’s direction. Nope, that didn’t help. She still didn’t have the slightest clue how to deal with this situation.
A frown had already creased Dawn’s forehead as she pondered this latest news. “The Haunting must’ve gotten to him last night,” she began.
“No,” Spike commented gruffly, falling back on the sofa with a slight huff, “I got to ‘im.”
Dawn blinked at him in surprise. “Clarify?” she demanded.
“Our old pal Tucker,” Spike began sarcastically, “decided Siggy was a free service of the establishment. I straightened him out.”
“By snapping his neck?!” Buffy blurted out, angry once more. How dare he? How dare he take a human life and force her into this horrible position?
“That was you?!” Veronica looked at Spike in surprise, carefully reconsidering her interest in him. It only took a second for her to decide it didn’t diminish his attractiveness in the slightest. After all, it wasn’t like he was the first killer she’d taking a lusting to.
Dawn’s face was closed off now, a careful mask of calculating distance. “Rick?” she turned to the half-Kayeri with a pleading look. “Why don’t you take Veronica down to the kitchen and see if the two of you can scrounge something up so that we don’t all starve?”
Rick nodded and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, implicitly understanding that this was a matter she needed to handle without an audience. “If worse comes to worst, I can always cook,” he agreed before holding the door open for Veronica.
Dawn spared him a small smile as he went before turning back to her waiting audience of Spike, Buffy, and Siggy. “You were there?” she asked Buffy pointedly, somewhat puzzled that there hadn’t been a Slayer/Vampire fight to the death the previous night.
“Yeah,” Buffy agreed somewhat guiltily, “I was there.”
Dawn nodded solemnly and turned back to Spike, who had now taken up full defensive position on the couch. “What happened?” she demanded matter-of-factly.
“Mister Tucker attacked me without provocation,” Siggy stood up to Spike’s defense. “I screamed for help, and Spike came. I was pinned to the ground with a knife at my throat. Spike saved my life.”
“Yeah, prior to killing Tucker,” Buffy felt obliged to point out.
“He had a knife,” Siggy insisted.
“He wasn’t possessed anymore!” Buffy shot back. “Plus, what’s a knife going to do to a vampire, anyway?”
Siggy’s eyes narrowed. “Would you be so quick to judge had it been your life?” she accused.
“Absolutely,” Buffy shot right back. “That’s irrelevant.”
“Oh, so Tucker’s life is important, but mine is irrelevant?” Siggy shot back.
“That’s not what I said!” Buffy shot back in exasperation. “What’s wrong with you? He killed someone!”
“What’s wrong with you?” Siggy retorted. “It is part of his job – the very same job you do.”
“I don’t kill humans,” Buffy insisted.
“And you do not think that just as many innocents may have died because of that policy?”
“Guys, stop,” Dawn demanded sternly when she saw that Buffy was about to explode once more. “This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
Buffy’s jaw clicked shut, but she didn’t look swayed from her position in the slightest.
Siggy looked equally confident in her own opinion.
Spike was staring down at his nails, picking at the non-existent nail polish there. He’d, quite surprisingly, withdrawn from the argument the instant Buffy and Siggy had started to go at it. In all the years Dawn had known him, she’d never seen him let someone else fight his battles for him. It was certainly curious.
“Spike?” she pressed pointedly.
He sighed and looked up. “Yeah, I killed the tosser. Yeah, I prob’ly didn’t hafta. No, I wasn’t thinkin’ about that at the time. No, ‘m not sorry for doin’ it.”
Dawn shut her eyes and felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. “You remember what I told you the last time.” she began.
“Last time?!” Buffy was furious now. “You’ve let him kill before?”
“It is his job,” Dawn repeated Siggy’s point from earlier before turning back to Spike. “We need to discuss this,” she decided. She caught Buffy’s look. “Alone.” Her focus turned to Siggy. “Why don’t you work on translating that text? The written copy is in my room.”
Siggy nodded and vanished into Dawn’s room.
“Buffy,” Dawn instructed, “help her.”
“But I can’t read.” Buffy began in protest.
“You can provide detailed knowledge of the Haunting’s behavior and help theorize,” Dawn insisted. “Or, if you’re more comfortable helping Rick and Veronica in the kitchen, do that. But I need to talk with Spike alone.”
“I-I’m the Slayer,” Buffy pointed out.
“Yeah, but I’m his boss,” Dawn countered, “and that makes it my job to deal with this.”
Buffy bit her lip. She didn’t exactly want to handle this situation, but she wasn’t quite sure she could trust Dawn to be unbiased, either. Not that she herself was unbiased. With a reluctant nod, she followed Siggy back into Dawn’s room.
Dawn’s full attention turned to Spike now that they were alone. “Your room,” she ordered simply, opening the door and entering with the anxious vampire on her heels.
* * *
Buffy sat back and watched as Siggy continued to scribble intently on the notepad before her, consulting the foreign text composed of alternating patches of Spike’s neat penmanship and Dawn’s sprawling characters. The other woman hadn’t said a word to Buffy since she’d entered. Their little difference of opinion had obviously taken its toll on the former friendliness Siggy had shown her.
It made Buffy surprisingly uncomfortable. More than anything she wanted to talk to Spike, to plead some sort of latent goodness out of him, but that avenue was closed to her now. And she found the conflict with Siggy more troubling than she would have expected. The other woman was human, presumably with soul firmly in place. How the two of them could see this issue so completely differently boggled her mind. And made her wonder for the first time which opinion was right. Which of their souls was a better determiner of right and wrong, really?
The silence, however, was stifling, leaving the questions to brew in her head unanswered. “Is there anything I can help with?” The question was a truce offering as well as a way to push aside her swirling thoughts.
Siggy looked up, sighed, and ventured a nod. Temporary truce accepted. “It is a difficult script,” she provided, gesturing for Buffy to sit beside her. “And not the least of it is trying to decipher Dawn’s handwriting.”
Buffy managed a small smile at that and looked at Siggy’s scribbled notes. “And that’s English?” she teased lightly, gesturing to the disjointed phrases.
Siggy sighed. “It will obviously take quite a bit of polishing, but I think I have the basics. See this sign here?” She pointed to a grid of crossed wedge-shaped marks.
Buffy frowned and nodded at the unfamiliar script.
“The phonetic translation is Shur-Ashk-Um-Ur-Abi. I believe that is the name this text gives to our Haunting.”
Buffy scrunched up her nose. “I vote that we just stick with calling it ‘the Haunting’,” she decided.
Siggy smiled at that. “It is less.unwieldy,” she agreed. Another frown. “The name itself is untranslatable, I think. It appears to be a mixture of many different ancient languages. Perhaps a conglomeration of many? If so, our Haunting must have once been quite widespread throughout the Near East.”
“Does it say what it is?” Buffy pressed, looking in vain for meaning in the mysterious script of that bygone era.
“A demon of some sort.” Siggy puzzled over a particular phrase. “I believe it says. ‘Shur-Ashk-Um-Ur-Abi, the eater of despair.'”
Buffy frowned at the incomprehensible message. “Is that literal?” she inquired.
“I am taking it as such,” Siggy agreed. “This seems to indicate that our Haunting feeds upon despair in the human psyche.”
“Sounds like the bastard,” Buffy agreed.
“It can.modify?” Siggy frowned at the word. “Adjust? Alter? No.more like modify. Modify human emotions, draw its victims to their deaths, and.” She trailed off. “This will take a bit more work,” she concluded.
“Yeah, well at least it sounds like it’s confirming everything we know so far,” Buffy said, sounding encouraged. “We got a way to kill it?”
Siggy frowned. “Some of the later verbs would indicate that, but the grammar is complex. It will take more study,” she concluded.
“Well, at least we’ve got someone to study,” Buffy decided.
Siggy nodded and frowned. “If our Haunting is indeed this Shur-Ashk-Um-Ur-Abi, I cannot help but wonder how it arrived here, of all places.”
“Supernatural things hate me,” Buffy concluded. “All the really nasty ones follow me around just waiting for their chance to end the world.”
A sly smile crossed Siggy’s features at that. “Your sister suffers from similar superstitions,” she provided, “but I think there must be something more.unless the Haunting anticipated your arrival by half a century.”
“Well, this thing first showed up back when Ms. Danvers’ family bought the place.” Buffy suggested.
Siggy nodded. “And definite human agents would have been necessary to build that underground temple.” She paused. “I wonder.” Her finger trailed down the page. “Ah, the ritual for summoning the Shur-Ashk-Um-Ur-Abi.”
Buffy gave her an annoyed look.
“The Haunting,” Siggy corrected. “Yes, I do believe that the temple could serve in this function.”
“So someone decided to invite this thing to the all-you-can-eat buffet of human misery?” Buffy inquired skeptically.
“So it would appear,” Siggy agreed.
“Someone’s in for a world of pain,” Buffy decided. “If they’re still alive, that is.”
“So that human would deserve death, then.”
Apparently, the war was back on.
“I didn’t say that,” Buffy countered.
“Do you believe it?” Siggy demanded.
“No, of course not!” Buffy insisted.
“So, you cannot foresee any circumstance in which a human would deserve death?” Siggy pressed.
“Humans have a right to live.”
“All humans? In all circumstances? Would killing a human ever be justified?” Siggy continued. “Criminals, perhaps? Or during wars? Or in self-defense?”
“That’s not what we’re arguing about,” Buffy pointed out. “We’re talking about a demon killing a human.”
“A demon, then,” Siggy agreed readily enough. “Would a demon be justified in killing a human in any of the circumstances I have listed?”
Buffy shook her head. “You’re muddling the issue. Demons don’t kill for those reasons. They kill because. They just do! They don’t have souls, not like us.”
“But what of the many demon species that do not kill? Xel and Lena do not have souls, yet their species does not kill humans. Are they inherently evil?”
“Vampires are,” Buffy insisted vehemently. “They kill humans all the time.”
“Many do,” Siggy conceded. “But Spike does not. Is he evil merely because many of the rest of his kind kill indiscriminately?”
“He just killed a man in cold blood last night!” Buffy exclaimed.
Siggy’s eyes narrowed. “Not in cold blood,” she countered. “He was defending me.”
“He didn’t need to kill Tucker to defend you,” Buffy insisted, arms crossed in front of her. “You were already safe when he did it.”
Siggy frowned for a second. “If I were being attacked by a vampire,” she began slowly, “and you came across us, you would naturally keep the vampire from biting me, correct?”
Buffy nodded at that, a curious expression on her face.
“And once the vampire was no longer in danger of biting me, would you let it go or would you stake it?”
“It’s not the same,” Buffy insisted. “Vampires are dangerous.”
“To us,” Siggy agreed. “To humans. But can you honestly not imagine that a vampire would view a demon hunter in a similar light – as dangerous, as killing without provocation?”
“It’s not.” Buffy sighed. “Things aren’t that way. Demon hunters kill to prevent deaths. Vampires kill for sport, for food.”
“Suppose I agree with that,” Siggy picked her battle. “Where does Spike fall on that spectrum? He has killed neither for sport nor food in a decade.”
“Because of the chip,” Buffy corrected.
Siggy rolled her eyes. “The chip was gone long before I knew him,” she said matter-of-factly. “I have even seen it. He keeps in a little jar in his room.”
“That can’t be true,” Buffy insisted. “I saw it go off. Back at the ball, he and Dawn crashed into each other and.zap!”
“Oh,” Siggy sighed, “that.”
“Yeah, that,” Buffy agreed. “Looked like the chip to me.”
“That is not coincidental, I’m sure,” Siggy agreed. “He has done that all the time that I have known him. A sort of mental reflex, if you will.”
“Mental reflex?” Buffy was puzzled.
“When he does not wish to hurt a human, he mimics the chip’s reaction. He no longer has a physical trigger to stop himself so he has created a mental one,” Siggy explained.
“If he had a soul, he wouldn’t need to fake the pain,” Buffy countered stubbornly.
“But, in essence, has he not created his own equivalent to a soul?” Siggy inquired innocently. “Something that causes him grief when he harms an innocent? It is no longer forced upon him; it comes from within. How is that any less real?”
“I was a psych major,” Buffy pointed out. “I know all about Pavlov.”
“Then, you must know that if such programming had been wired into Spike’s brain then he would not be able to harm humans even when he consciously wanted to,” Siggy argued.
Buffy bit her lip at that. “A soul would mean that he’d never want to kill a human in the first place. If he’s being killing all this time.”
Siggy scoffed at that. “This is only the third human. And the previous two were also in circumstances where he was protecting another. It is not like he kills humans on a regular basis. And as for your other point. It is absurd. Humans have souls, and they kill each other all the time.”
Buffy sighed and clutched her head in her hands. “You’re not looking at this from my perspective,” she complained.
“And you’re not looking at this from his perspective,” Siggy countered.
* * *
“Was it really necessary to kill him?” was Dawn’s sole question once she and Spike were alone.
He sighed. “Prob’ly not,” he conceded.
“I see.” Dawn sat down on the bed with a weary sigh.
“Prob’ly could’ve just given the wanker the beatin’ of his life,” he amended.
“That’s better?” Dawn inquired curiously.
He shrugged. “You lot all seem to think so.”
Dawn groaned. “God, why?” she asked rhetorically.
“He attacked Siggy,” Spike said simply. “No one hurts either ‘f you and lives.”
“The Haunting attacked Siggy,” Dawn corrected.
“Wasn’t exactly payin’ attention to eye color at the time,” he countered.
“Did you feel like you were in danger?” Dawn demanded.
“No. Could’ve taken ‘im any day, rifle an’ all.”
“Did you feel like Siggy was in danger?”
“Damn right,” he insisted vehemently.
“Even though Tucker was nowhere near her and you and Buffy were both there?” she pointed out.
“Almost too late that time,” Spike argued. “The next.” He trailed off pointedly.
“Do you have any idea how less convincing this time is than your previous two kills?” Dawn inquired curiously. “‘Cause I’m having a really hard time seeing the absolute necessity in this case.”
He looked down at that, troubled deeply by how Dawn was reacting. “Whadda you want from me?” he asked softly. “That ‘m sorry I did it? Well, ‘m sorry it makes things tough for you, but ‘m still glad he’s not around to have another go at Siggy – Hauntin’ or no. But ‘s not like I had anythin’ against ‘im. Din’t seem half-bad. Went to a lot ‘f effort to help you when Rick nabbed you, and I ‘ppreciated that.”
Dawn bit her lip. It was rare that Spike ever gave a speech that long or heartfelt, and she needed time to process it all. “I need to think,” she said simply.
He gulped, a wounded light in his eyes. “Right,” he agreed sadly. “Don’t know what more you could’ve ‘xpected from me,” he mumbled under his breath. “‘m just a vampire, after all.”
Oh god, he really believes that. Dawn herself was overcome by a sharp pain to her heart at his words, and she quickly went over to give him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. “Love you, big brother,” she assured him. “No matter what.”
He nuzzled his mark on her throat gratefully. “‘m sorry I.”
“Shh,” Dawn assured him. “We’ll handle it together, okay? Right now, we’ve got a Haunting that I suddenly have renewed desire to kill.”
* * *
“Think of it. A demon from a usually violent species – as you yourself have pointed out – has managed to change his worldview to the point where he would rather defend his chosen prey from others of his kind than feed as all his instincts urge him to do. He has come to realize that humans have a right to live, in general. Would it be no less extraordinary should you suddenly come to realize that demons have the same right?” Siggy gave Buffy a pointed look.
“Not if the demons kill,” the Slayer objected.
“Exactly the policy he uses on humans,” Siggy said in triumph. “He is still a vampire, of course, and always will be. He has adopted many human customs but.I think his protectiveness of those he considers his own will never fade. It is something about vampires that I can respect, given that it has just saved my own life.”
“Vampires aren’t like that,” Buffy insisted. “They can’t be trusted.”
“But Spike is different. Does your worldview allow for no exceptions to your rules?”
“I’m the Slayer. I can’t afford to make exceptions.”
“Then, why did you not kill Spike in the past, while he was chipped and defenseless?” Siggy pointed out logically.
“He couldn’t hurt humans then,” Buffy explained impatiently.
“Because the chip prevented him?”
“Yes.”
“And that he now prevents himself means nothing to you? He no longer lives as a demon. He has come to learn to function in the human world. He has come to accept many of our values and customs. He is still a vampire, true, but that it not who he is. Many humans have killed as many men in similar circumstances and are rewarded as heroes. Is it so impossible to offer a man you claim to care for just a fraction of that trust? He has already bridged far more than half of the gap between you. If you are unwilling to make even one conciliatory step in his direction.” Siggy trailed off.
“If what you’re saying is true,” Buffy took a deep breath, “and he wants to be good, then why does he need the psychosomatic chip reaction?”
Siggy paused on that one for a minute, considering the question carefully. “I think,” she began, “that he is afraid, perhaps, to admit that he chooses the human life willingly. He has lived with the Big Bad image for so long that he does not want to abandon it.”
Buffy had to admit, it sounded a lot like the Spike she remembered from Sunnydale, consistently insisting he was a lot more evil than he ever was.
“And I also think that he has heard so often that a demon cannot be good that even he believes it now,” Siggy added. “He has so little faith in himself.” She trailed off sadly.
Buffy bit her own lip at that, several pointed barbs she’d thrown the vampire’s way popping instantly to mind. “I can’t condone killing,” she said simply.
“And I do not ask you to,” Siggy assured her. “All I ask is that, if you truly care for him, you will at least try to understand him.”
Buffy opened her mouth to answer, but at that moment a knock on the door brought their conversation to an abrupt halt.
“How are we doing on killing our local Haunting?” Dawn asked as she and Spike entered the room.
* * *
If the Haunting were corporeal, it would have smiled. It was becoming strong once more, having fed well on all the corpses that had fallen in the Cascade Mountain Lodge in the past week. Pain, anger, hatred, despair – they all swirled through the few vessels left, providing a veritable smorgasbord of human misery.
Every day now it grew stronger, moving ever and ever closer to its ultimate goal. Soon even the most powerful of the mortals would no longer be able to fight it, and then.
It would claim its rightful host, and through that vessel it would feast upon the world.