Chapter 5: Don’t Go Anywhere
“I cry just a little bit/just a little bit/every day ./ Get by just a little bit/just a little bit/that way./I know, I know/I should have known./Bluer/than the blue devils/bluer than this pale blue angel./Bluer than all of my troubles/Love is never far from danger.”~Over the Rhine , “Bluer”
Angel chuckled nervously. “You know, that’s a funny question.”
“Watch me not laughing,” she said in all earnestness. Suddenly, all the fire went out of her. “I’m so sorry, Angel.”
He stared at her. “For what?”
She rolled her eyes. “What do you mean, ‘for what’? You were there, weren’t you. That—bitch hijacked my body and used it—” Cordy’s eyes narrowed to little slits. “When I get my hands on her…”
“You can’t,” Angel said. “She’s gone, Cordy. Really gone.”
Cordelia sighed. “Too bad. I would have thought up something really painful. So where am I again?”
“In the hospital,” Angel said firmly. “We didn’t know if you were going to—wake up.” His voice cracked just a little on the last word, and Cordy put her hand over his.
She smiled at him. “Well, I’m awake now and definitely ready to get out of here.” Her nose wrinkled. “I don’t suppose my apartment is still mine.”
“We had to move your things back to the hotel,” Angel confessed. “After I saw you—”
She shot him a glare. “Do you know how bored I was?” Cordelia demanded. “I thought you were going to get me out.”
Angel looked affronted. “You were happy!”
“I was bored!” Cordelia shot back, and then she sighed. “Never mind, Angel. It’s done. Can I go back to the hotel now?”
Angel winced. “Well, you see, there might be a problem with that.”
~~~~~
She wouldn’t stop touching him. Right now, she was holding his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Spike didn’t know what to make of it. It was nice—the fact that the feeling had definitely come back into his fingers was nicer still—but Buffy had never done anything like this before.
The Slayer had never been so public with him before.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
He glanced over at her sharply. “What? No, nothing’s wrong, pet.”
“You seem jumpy,” she observed. “If you don’t think you can handle this, that’s fine, Spike. Maybe you should allow yourself to heal up a little more.”
Spike shook his head. ” Don’t need fine motor control to handle an ax, now do I?”
Buffy’s mind wandered to what Spike might do with his “fine motor control.” She forced the idea to one side and focused on his face. He still looked uncomfortable. “Out with it.”
“Buffy—”
“I’m all into talking and you’re not saying anything,” she observed. “So what gives?”
Spike sighed. “You’re holding my hand.”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“No, but—you never held my hand before.”
Buffy flushed. It was partly shame—shame that they had done so many other things but hadn’t managed something so simple as holding hands. “Well, get used to it,” she replied. “I plan on doing a lot of things we’ve never done before.”
That sent Spike’s eyebrows right up into his hairline. “Like what?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Buffy replied. They were in the elevator of Wolfram & Hart now, and she grinned. “Like kissing you in an elevator.”
She was as good as her word, and when the doors slid open, they were still lip-locked. “Can’t you two get a room?” Harmony huffed, staring at the couple.
Buffy broke away from Spike slowly. “Why? Jealous, Harm?”
“Oh, please,” Harmony shot back. “I could have had Spikey anytime, but I’ve got my eye on something better. I’m a career woman now,” she finished proudly.
“Sure you are,” Buffy said, condescension dripping from her voice. “Harmony, Spike wouldn’t—”
Spike shut her up with another kiss and quickly ushered her out of the elevator. He and Harmony’s brief tryst was suddenly coming back to haunt him, and if Buffy found out about it she’d never forgive him.
Too late.
“Spike already had me,” Harmony shot back as the elevator doors closed. “I was the one that broke up with him!”
Spike shut his eyes, hoping that Buffy believed the other vampire was referring to something in the distant—rather than the recent—past.
“What was she talking about?” Buffy demanded.
He hesitated. “It wasn’t anything important.”
“You slept with her, didn’t you?” The Slayer’s eyes had narrowed, and Spike knew he was in for it now. Buffy was going to stake him.
“It was a mistake?” he offered hesitantly. “I’d just become solid, and I—”
Her eyebrow arched, Buffy sweetly suggested, “You just wanted to feel?”
“Somethin’ like that,” he admitted. “Buffy, really, it wasn’t anythin’. You know how I feel about you.”
“I’m beginning to have my doubts,” she replied coolly. “You don’t come see me, you don’t even call, and you sleep with Harmony. What am I supposed to think, Spike? I guess you really don’t want anything to do with me.”
She tugged her hand out of his and started back down the hall, away from Wesley’s office. “No, Buffy! That’s not it at all!”
The Slayer stopped. She was hurt, but not nearly as much as she was pretending. Buffy knew exactly why Spike had slept with Harmony immediately after becoming solid again. After months of not being able to touch anything, why wouldn’t he have wanted to connect? And why had Spike been with Harmony in the first place, except for the physical comfort? It wasn’t like he had been with her for the conversation.
She turned to face him, and the guilt hit her when she saw the panic and fear on Spike’s face. “I’m not going anywhere,” Buffy finally assured him. “But from now on, I’m the one you sleep with if you want to feel. Got it?”
“Why would I want anyone else when you’re here?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.
Buffy remembered how sweet Spike could be when he wasn’t putting his foot in his mouth. “Good. Then we can finish this conversation at my hotel, after we kill the demon.”
Something shifted in his eyes. “Your hotel, huh?”
“You got a better suggestion?” she asked.
Spike was ambivalent about starting out their relationship in bed again. “You sure, pet?”
“I told you, I’m not letting you out of my sight,” Buffy replied. “We can decide later exactly what we’re going to do in my hotel room.”
~~~~~
Fred leaned back in her chair wearily. “I didn’t realize you had so much going on, Wes.”
His in-box was still half full, and they had been going through files and reports all day. In some ways, that was the problem with being at Wolfram & Hart. Working with Angel had often been overwhelming, sometimes down-right terrifying, but they rarely knew about so many things going wrong as he did on any given day at the law firm.
In fact, there was so much information, there was little he could effectively do about any of it.
“I’ve been letting it pile up,” Wesley admitted, placing another completed report in the out-box . At least he’d managed to accomplish something, and Spike would be arriving any minute to take care of the liver-eating demon—otherwise known as the Fraickes. Were the truth to be told, that was why Wesley had been giving Spike jobs to do. While he had known the vampire was at loose ends, it was more to salve his conscience, so that he could tell himself that he really was doing something.
“Too overwhelming?” Fred asked sympathetically.
Wesley nodded slowly. “Something like that, yes. Plus, I’ve had to deal with several of Angel’s messes, things he ought to be doing as the head of Wolfram & Hart.”
“Do you ever wonder if we’re in the right place, Wesley?” Fred asked. It was a rare moment of introspection for her. Normally, she was too busy to think about whether or not she was doing the right thing in being there. Sitting with Wesley, however, helping him go through his files—it all reminded her of the days when they’d simply been private investigators.
When he had been “just Wesley,” her friend. There were all kinds of regrets that fluttered through her mind like moths from old clothes.
She had so many regrets when it came to Wesley. After what she’d told him—
Fred stopped. What had she told him? She couldn’t remember the words she’d used now, only that she had hurt him terribly.
“Every day,” he said, a sudden desire for honesty bubbling up. “Do you—would you ever think about leaving here?”
She hesitated. “I don’t know. Do you think we should leave Angel?”
“Perhaps if we left, he would follow,” Wesley suggested, looking around warily. “I don’t know that this is the place to talk about it, though.”
“You’re right,” Fred replied quickly. “Maybe once we let Spike know what’s going on, we could go have a drink somewhere and—talk.”
Wesley’s eyes went wide as he tried to figure out what she meant by that. “I don’t—”
“You got a demon for us to kill, mate?” Spike asked, striding into the office, unaware that he’d just broken the moment. Wesley stifled the irrational urge to snap at the vampire. After all, he was the one who had called Spike in.
Wesley sighed. “That’s right. It’s called a Fraickes demon, and it eats—”
“Livers, yeah,” Spike finished. “I’ve seen ’em before. Nasty buggers.”
“Yes, well, I was hoping you might be able to stop it before it kills any other people. I didn’t want to bother Angel with it.”
Spike snorted. “The Great Poof is getting above this sort of thing, yeah?” He hesitated and then asked, “Can I talk to you for a minute, mate?”
The vampire pulled Wesley off to one corner of the office, leaving Buffy and Fred to stare at one another. “I’m Buffy Summers,” the Slayer said, introducing herself .
“Oh, I’m Fred,” the other woman said. “Well, Winifred Burkle, actually, but everyone just calls me Fred.” She stopped, knowing that she was beginning to babble. “So you’re Buffy, huh? Spike’s talked a lot about you.”
Buffy made a face. “I hope he said something good about me.”
“He really likes you,” Fred confided. “I can tell.”
Buffy sensed the opportunity to get some dirt. “So what has he been doing around here?”
In the corner, Spike was holding a whispered conversation with Wesley. “I s’pose I’m goin’ to be stayin’ with Buffy until I get somethin’ more permanent. You still thinkin’ the hotel?”
“You’re not going back to Rome ?” Wesley asked, real surprise in his voice. He had expected Spike to be on the next plane out of L.A. once he knew Buffy’s purposes. The ex-Watcher had to admit to feeling a sense of relief. He hated to think he’d be losing another friend, although it would be to distance this time.
Spike shook his head. “They don’t need me in Rome ,” he said. “Until we get this thing with Wolfram and Hart settled, and I know what they wanted with me, ‘m not leavin’.” He glanced over at Fred and Buffy, who were giggling. “You ought to ask her out, Wes.”
“What?” Wesley said. “I don’t think so.”
Spike cocked one eyebrow. “Why not? ‘s obvious she fancies you.”
“We’re just friends,” Wesley replied repressively. “Fred doesn’t view me in that way.”
Spike just smirked. “Whatever. All I’m sayin’ is don’t miss your chance.”
“I think we may be going out for a drink after you leave,” Wesley admitted. Then, lowering his voice further, he whispered, “I think Fred might be contemplating getting out of this place.”
The vampire nodded in a satisfied manner. “Good. Be better for both of you.” He glanced back over at the women who appeared to be getting along just fine. “Maybe tomorrow you could show me this hotel of yours. Meet you back here in the afternoon sometime?”
“That would be fine,” Wesley acknowledged. “Be careful tonight, Spike.”
Spike smiled. “With the Slayer watchin’ my back, I’ll be right as rain.”
Meanwhile, Fred and Buffy were making plans for the next day. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” Buffy asked.
“No, I think it’ll be fun,” Fred insisted. “I haven’t had a chance to have any girl-time since—well, since Cordelia left. I like the guys, but it’s nice to get away.”
Buffy nodded. “I could see that. Although, with all the Slayers around, I could usually use some time away from all those girls. Teenage girls at that.”
They both winced, thinking about it. “I’d like to do some shopping,” Fred said.
“Good,” Buffy said. “That’s settled. It’s probably a good thing that Spike isn’t going with me. I wanted to pick up a few things for him, and I think it’ll go more smoothly if he isn’t around to object to anything.”
Fred giggled. “Good luck. Does he ever wear anything else?”
“Sometimes,” Buffy said with a sigh of longing. She remembered Spike wearing color, and she wanted to see him wearing it again. “So we’ll meet here tomorrow, and take off.”
“Sounds good,” Fred agreed. “You can tell me all about Wesley before he came to L.A. “
Buffy laughed. “Sure, and you can tell me everything that Spike’s been doing for the last few months.”
“Ready to go, pet?” Spike asked.
Buffy shrugged. “Sure. I’m always ready to kill a bad guy.”
“Right.” Spike grinned. “We’ll take the company car.”
“You have a company car?”
“No, but Angel has a whole garage full.”
Wesley and Fred watched them leave, bantering back and forth, and Wesley looked back at his in-box. He was still woefully behind, and he probably should be thinking about pulling an all-nighter, just to try and get through the worst of it.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Fred asked. “I’m kind of hungry.”
“Again?” Wesley asked, thinking about the mountain of tacos she’d consumed earlier.
Fred shrugged. “Lunch was a long time ago.”
Wesley considered it for a minute, looking at the stack of correspondence, and then longingly at the door. “Let’s go then,” he replied, grabbing his jacket. “I could use a drink.”
Fred impulsively grabbed his arm—just what she’d do with any guy friend, she told herself. “Me too. And maybe more than one.”