Chapter 40
“Oh, my God! I never thought I’d get this excited over a stupid school play but…” Buffy inhaled sharply as she walked along the sidewalk, her hand occasionally squeezing Spike’s. “… when I saw my name on that list, it just… clicked, you know?”
Her eyes seemed brighter than ever, a certain twinkle in the corner gave new life to the green in them as she looked up at the boy walking next to her.
“I guess… somehow, Miss. Addams was right. I really didn’t know what I wanted out of life. I mean, everyone’s been going through college applications and I just seemed to be going through the motions, you know? I’ll apply to Sunny U and then I’ll decide my major is going to be – that was basically as far as I thought about it… but now? I don’t know! It’s just so exciting! Finding something that I actually like and I really, really want to do and…” Her eyes drifted over the scenery around them and landed over Spike just in time to catch him concealing a yawn from her. “I’m babbling, aren’t I?” She asked with half a frown.
“No, no you’re not.” Spike denied vehemently.
“Did I ever tell you that you’re the world’s worst liar?”
“Sorry, luv. But I am glad you’ve found something you’re interested in.” He replied, leaning in to place a light kiss over her forehead.
She smiled and came to a full stop when she reached the front entrance to her house. Her hands wrapped around his waist as she brought him closer to her and she looked up at him with a smile over her lips.
“Thanks.” She whispered as she buried her face in his chest.
“For what?” He asked with a frown.
“For not freaking out over the play.” She explained before looking up at him again.
“Why should I freak out?” He pretended not to know.
At that she tilted her head sideways and threw him a scolding look.
“I know you saw the rest of the cast list.”
Without a witty comeback, he let his head drop in defeat.
“A-are you really ok about this?” She asked nervously.
“Well…” He trailed off, not bearing to look at her, but he was forced to when her small hand came to rest under his chin to guide his gaze to meet hers. She took a deep breath and paused for a second.
“I-If you want me to quit the play… I will.” She said without much conviction. He could tell that, deep inside, she was begging him not to force her to make that decision. And how could he? He had witnessed her excitement when she had read her name on that paper, the way she wouldn’t stop smiling, giggling over the silliest jokes. God, she had even laughed at Xander’s pathetic Sean Connery impersonation! He had never seen her this happy. No, he couldn’t do that to her. He had no right.
“Don’t be silly.” He tried to sound nonchalant about the subject. “Of course you’re not gonna quit.” He paused for a second and then added with a more serious tone: “I want you to be happy and, if this makes you happy, I am 100% ok with it.”
“Are you sure?”
There it was – the sparkle – it was right back in her eyes.
“I’m fine, Buffy.” He reassured her.
In an instant, her arms were wrapped around his neck, her mouth easily finding its way to meet his for a long kiss. Her head rested against his when their lips finally parted; a mischievous smile dancing over them.
“My mom’s not going to be home for another two hours.” She announced suggestively as her fingers lingered over the lapels of his duster, tugging at them as she walked backwards towards the house.
“Oh, really?” He questioned, raising one scarred eyebrow as he walked up the steps of the front porch.
~+~
One slender hand hovered over the lines on the page, while the other played with long, golden threads.
“Hey…”
Buffy was snapped out of her daze by the familiar voice. With a smile on her lips she looked up to find him standing next to her.
Hey, Spike.” She replied, scooting over and patting the spot on the bench next to her as her eyes returned to the papers she held in her hands.
“What are you doing?”
“Just going over a few lines.” She explained, never looking up at the person sitting next to her.
“I thought you knew those by heart.”
“I-I do. I just want to make sure before the first rehearsal.” She continued, staring at the page, a deep frown over her eyebrows.
He simply nodded and let his eyes drift over the football field that spread out before them.
“It’s today, right? After school?” He asked.
“Uh-huh.” She mumbled. There was a beat, as she pondered whether or not to invite him to the rehearsal. She had done it every time and every time he had come up with some lame excuse. She shook her head and returned her attentions to the paper.
They sat in silence until he moved to stand.
“Well, I’ll be off then.” He said, standing next to her, his gaze inspecting her, waiting for her to glance up at him, but she never did.
“Oh, ok…” She replied, still too absorbed in her reading.
“Bye.” He waited a moment until she realised he was still there.
She was brought back to reality when she felt soft fingers thread though her dishevelled hair. She shook her head and looked up.
“Don’t I get a kiss?” He asked with a half smile.
She returned the grin as he leaned down and placed a quick peck over her lips.
“Bye.” He repeated.
“Bye.” She replied, her attention quickly returning to the sheets she held.
~+~
“Whelp!” Spike shouted as he made his way through the crowd of teens that filled the corridor.
“Bleach-man!” Xander greeted back as the platinum blond reached him.
“What you doing?”
“Getting ready for torture.” Was Xander’s unenthusiastic reply.
“Come again?”
“Play rehearsal.” He explained.
“Oh… I guess you’re not up for some football after school then.”
“Sorry.” Xander sighed, rolling his eyes.
Noticing the strange look on his friend’s face he added:
“I take it you’re not too happy about this whole play thing, huh?” The brown-haired teen asked.
“Of course I am.” He lied through his teeth. “Makes Buffy happy, makes me happy.”
“Right…” Xander said with a hint of sarcasm. “Cause seeing your girlfriend stage-macking with her ex is so fun.”
“Don’t push me, whelp.” Spike grumbled as he tried to erase the mental picture that suddenly popped into his head.
“Look, I’m sorry. I just think you should talk to Buffy about this. It’s been two weeks and you two haven’t said a word about it.” Xander noted.
“We talked.” Spike argued.
“Really?” Xander asked, rolling his eyes once more.
“She asked if I was ok with it and I-“
“Lied about it.” Xander cut in.
“Hey!”
“I’m just saying… I’m just thrilled that Cordy is the worst actress in the world cause I don’t know if I could handle seeing her kiss Angel.” Xander explained.
“I’m ok with it.” Spike insisted as the anger slowly boiled up in him.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine, so just bugger off!” Spike growled, storming away.
~+~
“Hey, Spike!” Willow greeted with a smile as she looked up from her plate to see the bleached teen take a seat in front of her.
“Hey, Red.” He replied, picking up his fork and knife. “Where’s Buffy?” He asked.
“She’s rehearsing for the play.” Willow explained digging through her plate to find something remotely eatable. Her face crunched up in disgust.
“I thought they only had rehearsals on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.” Spike questioned with a frown.
“Miss Addams says they’re getting closer to the opening and that they have a lot of work to do.”
“Oh…” He said trailing off before adding: “So! Why aren’t you there? You know? Standing by your man?”
“I thought I’d take a bit of a break from the whole Shakespeare experience.” Seeing Spike’s narrowed eyes she admitted: “It’s just too painful to see Cordelia ‘act’.”
“Yeah! Heard it was pretty bad.” He chuckled when he saw Willow’s facial muscled twitch at the memories.
“It’s bad. *Very* bad!” She confirmed. There was a moment of pause as she wondered whether or not to approach the subject. In the end, she opted for the former: “Why don’t you go check it out for yourself? I-I mean, you could go to one of the rehearsals. Miss Addams will probably force you to handle stage work, b-but other than that she’s pretty cool about it.” Willow explained nervously.
“Nah, don’t really want to see you yanks murder some of the best work in English literature ever. I’ve got Hollywood movies for that.” He joked, but the uneasiness was clear in his voice.
Willow gave him a weak smile before setting her fork down to look up at the boy sitting across the table from her.
“She really wants you to be there, you know?”
He didn’t say a word, his gaze buried in the unrecognizable pulp on his plate.
“She said so. You should go and see her. Maybe you’ll realise it’s not that bad.”
“Right…” He mumbled sarcastically before finally looking up at the redhead.
“If you hurry you’ll still catch the last few minutes.” She insisted.
Without a word he stood up and started to head out but stopped in his tracks to glance back and whisper:
“Thanks, red.”
“You’re welcome.” She replied to his retreating form.
~+~
“He jests at scars that never felt a wound. / But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and…”
Angel’s annoying, histrionic voice seemed to fade away as he saw her walk out on stage. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, high on the back of her head, a few unruly threads escaping to frame her face. She leaned on the balcony, staring off into the distance while, below, the quarterback went about saying his lines.
“O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? / Deny thy father and refuse thy name; / Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, / And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”
Spike stared in awe. She was actually good at it. He ignored the exaggerated replies that came from the brown-haired teen; his gaze fixed on her as she continued to speak. The words flowed freely, as if she had just thought of them; sincere longing flooded her eyes, giving them a glassy appearance. God, she was beautiful!
He lingered in the shadows, watching in trance as she now walked about on stage, the beefy quarterback trailing behind her. He felt his stomach turn in protest, but he ignored it as he focussed on the small figure now giggling on stage. Maybe Willow was right. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he had imagined it. As the thoughts hurried through his mind he found himself relaxing, leaning against the wall. Maybe he had overreacted, it-
He felt his entire body freeze as the suddenly, moment he had dreaded the most was played out in front of him. He watched, in silence, as Angel’s hands came to rest on her waist. A blank, idiotic expression settled on his face, a passionate one on Buffy’s as he leaned in and captured her lips between his.
Then, all he saw was red. Anger boiled in his veins, making his heart violently hammer against his chest, the sweat cursed down the sides of his face, his mouth instantly becoming dry, his vision blurred. He was snapped out of his rage by the feel of a hand resting on his shoulder.
“Hey, man.” Oz’s monotonic voice reached his ears.
Spike shook his head and glanced down at the shorter teen. He didn’t say a word.
“You, ok?”
Miss Addams’ screeching voice, accompanied by her enthusiastic applause, interrupted the conversation.
“Wonderful! You were amazing! Bravo!”
The two teens glanced at the stage where Buffy and Angel were turning bright red under the praise. Turning his gaze back to Oz, Spike practically growled between clenched teeth before storming away:
“I’m fine!”
~+~
“Hello? Giles? Hi, is Spike there?” Buffy asked, twirling her index finger around the plastic cord of the phone.
“No, he hasn’t come home yet.” Was the reply from the other end. “Do you want to leave a message?”
“Just tell him that I called, ok? Thanks. Bye Giles.”
She let the receiver fall back into place and lay back on the bed. Oz had told her about Spike being there during the rehearsal. She raced through the halls in the hopes of finding him, but he was gone. She had looked for him during the rest of the day, but there was no sign of him. Calling Giles was the first thing she had done when came home and apparently he was still MIA.
She instantly stood up straight when she heard the front doorbell ring. She jogged down the stairs, her heart racing as she swung the door wide open.
“God, I thought you- Mom!“
“Surprised to see me?” Mrs. Summers asked as she handed her daughter a few of the grocery bags that she carried.
“No… It’s… um. Why’d you ring the doorbell?” Buffy tried to mask the disappointment in her voice as she followed her mother into the kitchen.
“I forgot my keys.” She explained, setting the bags on the counter. “How was rehearsal?”
“It was fine.” Buffy replied with little enthusiasm as started helping Joyce take out the groceries.
“Just fine?” Mrs. Summers frowned. “Usually you’re so psyched about the whole thing and now it was just fine? What happened?”
“Nothing.” Buffy shrugged.
Mrs. Summers let out a deep sigh and paused for a second, looking at her daughter.
“Buffy… What’s wrong?”
The blonde teen stared down at the counter. God, she wished she could tell her mom about this!
“It’s nothing. I’m just tired, I guess.” She lied.
“Are you sure?” Joyce insisted, still not convinced.
“We’ve just been rehearsing for so long, I’m just tired.” Buffy maintained.
“If you say so.” Mrs. Summers decided to drop the subject. She knew her daughter well enough to know when to push a subject. This wasn’t one of those times.
“I’m going to take a shower, ok?”
“Ok, honey.”
Without another word, Buffy made her way upstairs.
~+~
With a racing heart she walked down the hall, her gaze bouncing off the familiar faces she encountered on her way to class as she searched for him. She felt a pang when she saw him, standing by his locker, his head resting on the metallic door.
“Hey.” She greeted shyly, hugging her books tightly.
“Hey.” He replied meekly as he turned to look at her.
There was a moment of silence between them as they looked at each other; Buffy was the one to break it.
“Um… Oz told me you went to the rehearsal yesterday.” She started, her gaze suddenly dropping to the floor.
“He did, huh?”
She nodded before glancing up at him.
“Look, I-“
“I’m sorry.”
Buffy frowned. That was definitely not what she was expecting to hear.
“For not calling you back yesterday. My da told me you called.”
She remained in silence, still a bit shocked. He tilted his head, leaning on the row of lockers as he stared down at her.
“It’s just that… seeing you… and…” He swallowed hard as he tried to push back the anger that threatened to resurface. “…him and… Everything turned red, you know?”
She nodded once more.
“I just knew that if I talked to you last night I would have ended up saying something stupid.” He explained.
There was a beat between them as they stood in silence once more.
“A-are you still angry?” She managed to ask.
“A bit.” He admitted. “Most of it is kinda gone now.”
Sharp ringing sounded around them and instantly the hoard of teens began to move in the hall.
“You wanna talk about it?” She questioned.
“After class? Meet you by the bleachers?” He suggested.
“That’d be good.” She replied with a weak smile before awkwardly turning around to leave.
~+~
Buffy anxiously tapped her pencil on the table, her eyes glued to the clock over the blackboard. She let out a sharp sigh of relief when the bell finally rang. In a heartbeat, she was out of the classroom and heading down the halls. She quickly made her way through the labyrinth of corridors until she found the door that lead to the football field.
She pressed the palms of her hands against her jeans as she sat down and patiently waited for him to arrive. Glancing at her wristwatch she nervously twirled the small pencil in her hands. The tension in her shoulders seemed to build up when she finally saw him coming towards her.
“Hey!”
“Hey”
“So…” he started.
“So…” She repeated.
“There actually is kissing in the play.” He suddenly blurted out when the silence threatened to settle between them again.
She swallowed hard; she hadn’t expected for him to be so blunt about it.
“It’s Romeo and Juliet.” She stated the obvious. “It’s kinda required.”
“Yeah… I guess.” He muttered; his elbows rested on his knees as he played with an unlit cigarette between his hands; his gaze buried in his combat boots. “It was just kinda of a shock; the whole lip locking thing.” He explained.
“D-do you want me to quit?” She dared to ask after a beat.
He paused, taking his time as he tried to gather his thoughts.
“I’d be lying if I didn’t say I hate the idea of you and Peaches kissing… but… No, I don’t want you to quit.” He finally admitted.
His stomach turned when he felt her relax next to him.
“You love this, and I’d be a complete pillock if I tried to take that away from you.” He continued, finally turning his head sideways to look at her; a ghost of a smile over his lips.
She smiled back at him, her hand reaching out to stroke his wild locks into place. He nuzzled against her touch, brushing his lips against the palm of her hand. Wrapping his fingers around her wrist he pulled her closer to him, his mouth finding hers for a soft kiss.
“I guess I’ll just have to get used to the idea, huh?” He mumbled.
“I’m sorry.” She said sincerely.
“There is nothing to be sorry about.” He replied, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her head to rest on his chest. They remained embraced for a few seconds, his fingers unconsciously playing with her hair.
“Say, how long till this thing’s over?” He finally asked.
“Four weeks.”
He let out a small growl.
“I’ll talk to Miss Addams to see if she can cut down on kissage.” Buffy offered looking up at him.
“You do that or Romeo is going to end up having to a shining new black eye for the premier.” Spike warned.
At that Buffy chuckled.
“I’m serious!” He insisted with a grave tone.
“I know you are. I’m surprised you didn’t jump on stage and start pummelling Angel right then and there.”
“It’s what I wanted to do.” He admitted.
“Thanks. For not going all psycho on me.”
“You’re welcome.”
She leaned down to rest her head on his chest once more before she remembered.
“By the way, what’d you do afterwards?” She asked.
She felt him freeze under her. With a frown, she looked up at him.
“Spike?”
“Um… I-I kinda gotta tell you something.” He stuttered awkwardly.
“Spike… What did you do?” She questioned, a hint of worry evident on her face as she raised her left eyebrow high on her forehead.