Chapter 5
“Ouch! That hurts!” She protested, trying to pull her arm out of his grip but failing. “Let go!” she practically screamed as they rounded a corner and reached the back of the school.
He came to a halt and let go of her arm.
“That hurt, you troglodyte.” She grumbled rubbing her sore arm. She continued a string of curses as she realised that the next day she would have finger-shaper bruises on her bronze skin from his not too delicate handling. “Stupid, idiot, foreign, brainless oaf.”
“Are we done with the cursing, luv?” He asked annoyed.
“No! You’re also a Neanderthal and stop calling me luv.” She protested again. “What do you want?”
“Dru back.” He answered simply.
She paused for a second before speaking.
“Ok, I realise you’re a bit slow and all but…” She began to speak slowly, exaggeration in the articulation of the words: “I. Am. *Not*. Dru.” She tilted her head towards him, as if trying to ascertain if he had understood her.
“Oh, Dru you’re *definitely not*.” He said with a sarcastic tone, which made the petite blonde flinch.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Let’s not go down that road.” He quickly tried to change the subject. If he wanted Buffy’s help, offending her was definitely not the way to get it. “I think we can help each other. You want your big ponce back, I want Dru, we should join forces.” He concluded.
“Two things: I would never, ever join *anything*with you and I don’t want Angel back. I just want him to contract a very painful venereal disease that involves the decaying and falling off of his private parts.” She finished her statement with a huge plastic grin.
Spike couldn’t help but wince at the description. Shaking himself out of that bad place in his mind he spoke:
“You don’t want Angel? You’ve been following him everywhere since you broke up.” The bleached teen pointed out the obvious.
“Just until I find the best way to inflict maximum pain to that cheating bastard.” She explained harshly.
Spike paused for second, pondering the new development. Annoyed, Buffy sighed and began to walk away.
“How about having him head over heels for you again?” He offered.
She cocked an eyebrow, coming to a halt:
“I’m listening.”
“I can help you get him back. Even if you show him you don’t want him, he’ll be grovelling at your feet.” He started to explain.
“Grovelling is good.” She said simply as she waited to hear the rest of the plan.
“And at the same time I can get Dru back.”
“So what do I have to do?” She enquired.
“Pretendtobemygirlfriend.” He said in one breath.
“What?!” she yelped. “Has all that bleach finally sunk into your brain and caused irreparable damage?” She questioned incredulous.
“The moment the 2 of them see us together they’ll go nuts with jealousy. Dru still loves me I know it.” Spike quickly explained.
“What about Angel?” She cocked her head.
“He never could stand seeing me and Dru happy. That’s why he’s after her. If he sees me with you, he’ll want you.”
“You’ve hit your head recently, haven’t you?” She asked sincerely.
“No. I’m telling you it’ll work. Trust me. I know Angel.”
“Trust? You? Oh you’ve definitely lost it pal.” She laughed.
Growling, the bleached teen reached into his pockets and took out a pack of cigarettes, bringing one to his lips and lighting it.
“Hey, hey, hey! No smoking!” She grabbed the cigarette, which dangled from his mouth and dropped it to the floor twisting the sole of her shoe on it.
Spike gave her an evil look, and it was clear he was doing all he could to keep himself from ringing her pretty little neck.
There was a moment of silence. Buffy scanned the outlying football field recognizing the form of the quarterback. In the distance she saw a black clad figure clapping hysterically at each successful pass the teen performed. She felt her stomach twist in disgust. Without turning to look at the bleached boy behind her she asked:
“What do I do?”
“Hang out with me. People have to see us together, holding hands, hugging and such.” Spike explained.
“No, nooooo way it hell!” She shook her head emphatically waving her arms around in a clear sign of disagreement as she turned to face him. “I’m not touching you!”
“You don’t see me hopping around singing ‘oh, joy! Oh, joy!’ either, luv.”
“Ok, deal.” She agreed reluctantly. “But we hang out with *my* crowd.”
“What? No!” It was his turn to shake his head.
“I’m not going anywhere near your monochromatic, Goth pals. No way and that’s final. We do it my way or it’s off.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and set her lips in a straight line waiting for his answer.
Eventually, he gave up and shaking his head mumbled:
“Fine, we’ll do it you’re way.”
“Good. When do we start?”
“Hum… tomorrow?”
“Ok, tomorrow we’re officially a couple.”
“One more thing. No one can know about our little deal or it’s off.” He warned her.
“Sure. Otherwise it would defeat the whole purpose of it, now wouldn’t it?”
“Just making sure. No telling Red, or the whelp or anyone!”
“What? Willow’s not gonna tell anyone.”
“I don’t care. No one can know.”
“But…”
“No buts, blondie.”
“Fine!” She agreed looking at her watch. “Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!” she cursed. “I’m late!” looking up at him with a deadly gaze she added: “This is all your fault. I hate you!”
“Same here!” He shouted after her, watching her run to her next class.
****
She exhaled sharply as she entered the house, dragging her aching feet on the floor plopping down on the couch with closed eyes and sighing. Her heavy eyelids shot open when she heard a deep male laughter coming from the kitchen.
“Mom…” she whispered to herself, forcing her tired body to stand.
As she reached the threshold of the tiled room her jaw fell to the floor. There, around the isle, sat her mom and…
“Spike?” She asked incredulous.
The Brit muffled his laughter at the sight of the petite blond.
“What are you doing here?” Buffy inquired as she noticed the mug of hot chocolate set in front of Spike.
“You’re friend William came by to get your notes from English class.” Joyce explained standing and walking toward the counter, picking up a kettle. “More hot chocolate?”
“William?” Buffy mouthed the name and could barely refrain from laughing.
The blonde shot her a dirty look before answering her mom.
“No thanks, Mrs. Summers. I’ll just get those notes from Buffy and I’ll be on my way.”
He stood up as he spoke, walking towards Buffy and discreetly, wormed his long fingers around her arm, dragging her to the hall.
“William?” She repeated, this time she wasn’t able to suppress the chuckle.
“What?” He grumbled.
“Sorry, just forgot you were William. It’s just such a…” Buffy pondered her words. “… delicate name.”
Spike forced a plastic smile on his lips for a glimpse of a second before snarling:
“What’s wrong with William?”
“Nothing. Just forget it.” Buffy shook her head. “What do you want, bleach boy?”
“We have to talk about tomorrow.”
Buffy looked over his shoulder and noticed her mom straining to hear what they were saying. She tilted her head toward the stairs and made her way up, with Spike following her close behind.