Chapter 19
She nervously tugged at her miniskirt, pulling it downwards as she picked up the receiver.
“Hello? Oh, hi!” There was silence for a few seconds, her fingers tensely twirling around the cord while she walked around in circles next to the phone.
Spike leaned on the counter, his heart still racing, watching her from under an apprehensive frown as he listened in on the conversation, trying to discern who was on the other side of the line. He anxiously tapped his fingers on the white surface; his gaze followed her closely while the memories of what had just happened flashed before his eyes. ‘What was that all about?’ he continuously asked himself. ‘Why did I…’ He couldn’t understand, but the simple thought of her being anywhere near Angel, having him touch her… just made his stomach turn, his skin curl; the way she had mocked him… He stood up straight as she started to speak into the receiver after the long pause.
“Ok, then… No, I’m fine. Don’t worry. Bye.” She waited a few moments, her mind racing as she finally set the phone down.
She really didn’t want to deal with this now, not with this or with… She finally turned to see Spike, standing by the counter an anxious look on his face. ‘God, what did I do?’ She asked herself as she swallowed hard and re-entered the tiled room. An awkward moment of silence thickened the air between them, making it hard to breathe. Buffy’s gaze erratically flew all over the place, trying to avoid meeting Spike’s eyes and finally found what looked like her salvation – the bottle of wine. In a flash, she reached for it and turning on her heels headed for the living room.
A stunned black-clad teen soon followed her to find her sitting on the couch taking a long gulp from the bottle.
“Hum… Buffy?” He started.
She wouldn’t look at him. Reaching for the remote, she turned on the TV and found her new source of distraction.
“Buffy…” He called again and this time she was forced to look up.
Her eyes were flooded in a dazed sparkle, giving them a glassy drunken aspect.
“Yeah?” She drooled.
He didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to say something about the scorching grope fest in the kitchen or was he just supposed to ignore it? Judging from the scared look on her face, he assumed she’d prefer the latter. Slowly, he moved to the couch and sat down.
“So… who was that?”
Buffy felt something tug at her heart at his question. ‘So the plan is to ignore what just happened?’ She asked herself.
“Hum…” She struggled with the words as the alcohol started swimming around in her brain. “My mom.” She answered, turning back to the TV. ‘You want to ignore it? Fine, I’ll ignore it.’ She shouted in her mind as the anger started brewing in her stomach.
“She went out tonight?” Spike asked as he noticed for the first time Mrs. Summers’ absence from the household.
Buffy nodded and refused to speak as she took another gulp from the bottle.
“She called to check up on you, huh?” He continued to question. Someone had to make conversation, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to stay alone in a room with her in silence.
Another mindless nod, followed by a long gulp from the bottle.
“You’re out on the piss tonight aren’t you?” He asked with a hint of anger in his voice.
At this she frowned and looked at him.
“You’re trying to get drunk, aren’t you?”
“You think?” She said cocking up her eyebrow and returning her attention to the television set.
“Luv, you really shouldn’t be drinking like this. You’re not used to it.” He tried to warn her.
Her answer came as she tilted the bottle once again and swallowed a few more gulps of its content. Angrily, he reached for the green bottle and yanked it out of her hands. She immediately jumped up in protest, her arms waving it the air as she tried to retrieve it.
“Hey, give it back. It’s…” She began to stand up, to try and catch up to him and suddenly the entire room started to circle around her. She blinked a couple of times and then dropped like a stone on the couch, clinging to her aching head. “Oh… oh…. This is not good… Why is the whole room moving?” She asked with a liquid voice as she tried to focus on something but failed.
“Because you’re completely sloshed.” He answered as he set the bottle down on the coffee table and came down to sit next to her once more.
His hands settled on each side of her head, under her ears, framing her flushed face as he watched her blink wildly and cringe.
“I don’t like this.” She whined.
“It’s gonna be ok. You just need some coffee.” He explained as he moved to leave the room.
Her fingers instantly curled around his duster, pulling him to her.
“No! Don’t! Don’t leave me!” She begged panicky.
“I’ll be right back I’m just going to the kitchen to get you some…”
He trailed off as he watched her vehemently shake her head.
“No. I don’t wanna be alone. This is…” She stopped in mid sentence as she felt something quickly crawl its way up her oesophagus. “Oh, I think I’m gonna be-”
She wasn’t able to finish her sentence as her mouth went wide open and she vomited all over Spike.
The Brit froze when he saw the greenish slobber plastered all over his favourite piece of clothing. The anger and disgust soon disappeared as he saw the distraught look on the petite blonde’s face.
“Oh God, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” She begged, her hand resting on her mouth.
“It’s ok, it’s ok.” He lied as he quickly took off his duster and balled it up so that the vomit wouldn’t spread to the couch.
He let out a sigh as he saw the stains on his shirt and without another thought quickly discarded it too, leaving him in a black t-shirt and equally black jeans. His attention was back on Buffy, who was now sprawled on the couch; her facial muscles cringed up in a painful expression. His arms circled around her slender form and carried as he walked up the stairs. He stood in the corridor for a few seconds, debating over which door lead to the bathroom. He followed his most logical guess and chose the door at the end of the hall.
He opened it and after some struggled managed to find the light switch. The room lit up to reveal the white tiled bathroom.
“Luv…” He called her.
“Hum…” She mumbled semi-conscious.
“You’ve got to hold onto me so I can get you cleaned up.”
She nodded and flung her arm around his neck, partially supporting herself as he turned on the faucet. Buffy jumped up as the cool water splashed against her face, causing her to cough a bit. She soon calmed down and he was able to run his wet hand over her mouth and cheeks, in an attempt to get her cleaned. His fingers slowly managed to get most of the green coloured vomit off her face and then proceeded with washing her neck. After a few minutes she was clean and he could tell that she was a bit more awake as she started to mumble something incomprehensible.
“You’ll be fine.” He reassured her.
But she continued to murmur something and soon tears began to thread down her flushed cheeks.
“Oh, God please don’t cry…” He begged awkwardly as he set her down on the toilet.
But she wouldn’t indulge him as she rested her head in her hands and suddenly burst out in loud and painful crying session.
“Please… don’t… I can’t stand to see girls… Please…” As he kneeled down beside her his hands suddenly seemed nothing more than embarrassing appendages as he struggled to figure out where to put them. They hovered over her shoulders, her arms, her legs and back up to her hair to finally awkwardly tap her on the head, in a typically male version of a comforting caress.
“Why…” Hiccup ” are you” hiccup “hitting meeeee?” She whined in a babyish tone, looking down on him with blood-shot eyes.
“I-I…” He tried to explain, but it was no use as she returned to her crying. “Luv… wha-what’s wrong?” He asked, deciding it was best not to touch her at all.
“Everythiiiiing.” She bellowed.
“Oh, come on… It can’t be that-”
“My mom is boinking an idiot.” She whined as another onslaught of tears took over.
Taken by surprise, it took a few seconds for Spike to react, but eventually he managed to stutter:
“Sh-she’s going out on a date, that doesn’t mean she’s…” He made a face as the mental picture flashed before his eyes causing his facial muscles to contract. “… boinking anyone.”
“Yes, she is.” She insisted between hiccups and snivels. “She was wearing make up.”
His scarred eyebrow cocked up as he thought: ‘And…?’
“And she just called saying she was going to be very late and-and…” She inhaled sharply as the tears continued to travel down her face. “…and she said if I needed anything for lunch tomorrow I could just order pizzaaaaaaa.” And once more she was down the path of loud howls and incessant moans.
“Oh…” He noted giving her a sorry look. “Well… M-my da has been going out on a lot of dates too lately… it-it’s only natural for divorced or widowed grown-ups to… you know…” He had to swallow hard to stop himself from heaving at the idea of his father ever having sex.
“Not my mom!” She bellowed, covering her face with her hands as she burst into tears.
“Hum… pet… please… just calm down… it’s…” It was no use, she wouldn’t stop.
Awkwardly, he straightened up, still on his knees and brought his arms around her, giving her a light tap on her back.
“There, there…” He murmured uncomfortably. God, he hated seeing women cry.
Slowly, she relaxed in his arms and eventually slumped off the toilet to sit on the floor, still wrapped up in his arms, her moist face buried in his t-shirt. He heard her mumbled and snivel as she wiped her eyes and nose on the black fabric.
“Go ahead… It’s not my favourite anyway.” He spurred her on as he ran his hand over her hair.
“My…”
“What’s that, luv?” He asked pulling her to look up at him.
They stared at each other for a few seconds before she burst out.
“My mom is having sex… Buaaaa!” And her face was once again buried in his chest.
“It’s ok… It’s gonna be fine.” He reassured her. “It’s normal. You knew this would eventually-”
“No!” She suddenly, sat up straight. “You’re not listening!”
“Tell me then.”
“My mom is having sex…” She paused as she tried to push back the tears and finally burst out: “… And I’m not!” She protested with a loud cry as she continued to sob uncontrollably.
“Oh!” The bleached teen raised his eyebrows at the realisation as her face fell with a dull thud against his chest.
She cried and sniffed for a while longer, until she calmed down and was able to slowly sit up straight; her hands coming to wipe away the tears. They sat in silence, till Buffy broke it with a ghostly whisper:
“Am I repulsive?”
“What?!” He asked amazed.
“Am I repulsive?” She repeated.
“Of course not. What… Why would you say that?”
“Then why… doesn’t Angel… want me anymore?” She managed to blurt out between sniffs and hiccups.
“Cause he’s an idiot.” Was Spike’s direct response as his hands came to push her hair behind her ear.
She seemed calmer, but suddenly, her expression changed, turning hard and cold.
“What do you know?” She grumbled as she stumbled to her feet and zigzagged her way down the hall.
“What do you mean?” He asked as he quickly followed her into her room.
He jumped back a little as she unexpectedly turned on her heels and faced him.
“You’re obsessed with that skinny vapid ho too.” She snapped.
At his confused expression she continued:
“All of a sudden every guy seems to be head over heels for that black haired witch.” She waved her arms in the air. “What does she have that I don’t?”
Spike tilted his head and gave her light smile.
“You’re jealous of Dru?”
“I. Am. Not. Jealous of that skanky ho!” She insisted, crossing her arms over her chest and flopping onto the edge of her bed.
Soon, her pout grew and, as the alcohol continued to heighten her emotions, she restarted crying.
“Luv… Come on… Not again.” He begged falling on his knees in front of her.
“Why doesn’t Angel want me anymore?” She whined.
He felt his stomach turn at the mention of the quarterback’s name. Why was she so worried about him? God, he felt like strangling him.
“I’m ugly.” She concluded.
“No, you’re not!” He countered. “How can you think that? God, Summers do you have any idea just how beautiful you are?” He didn’t even seem to be talking to her anymore as he stared blindly at her face, his fingers coming to brush over her cheeks. “You’re amazing and…” He sighed audibly as he saw her pout. “God, you drive me insane every time you to that.”
“What?” She frowned.
“When you pout. Jutting out that lower lip…”
“Angel liked it too.” She replied absentmindedly.
That was it! His blood started rushing to his face as the anger boiled up inside of him.
“Will you just forget about that wanker for one bleeding second, damn it?” He growled standing up and pacing around the room in front of her.
She frowned, a drunken look still on her face, giving her a semi-idiotic expression.
“Why are you so angry all of a sudden?” She grumbled with a frown, following him with her gaze. “Will you stop walking around in circles? You’re making me dizzy.” She protested shaking her head a bit and blinking.
“Why are you so worried about what Angel thinks?” He tried to control his emotions as he came to an abrupt stop in front of her.
“I don’t worry about what-”
“Bollocks! The whole time, you’re going on about how Angel doesn’t want you anymore, how you think you’re ugly because he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you. What is it with you women? You only like men that are complete wankers. Are you masochists or something? A guy devotes all of his attention to you and you go behind his back to boink the person he hates the most and when he ignores you, you immediately want him back.” He let his arms fall limply at his sides as he finished his ramblings.
Buffy simply continued to frown sheepishly as she felt her entire body go numb from the alcohol in her system.
“You need some serious anger management classes, you know that right?” She mumbled.
“I need to get you bloody bints out of my head, that’s what I need.” He protested.
“You could always turn gay.” She offered. “You already know that my mom has no problem with it.”
Spike gave her a fake smile while Buffy cringed at the memory of her mother… Soon the tears started to fall again as the depression phase of her drunken state kicked in once more.
“Oh, will you just quit it?” He growled.
“No, I will not, you insensitive pig!” She shouted at him, throwing herself back on her bed and curling up into the foetal position.
He felt a pang of regret in his heart.
“Oh… Luv… I’m sorry… I didn’t… Please…” He pleaded as he came to the left side of the bed and kneeled down next to it. “Look… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to shout… Please, don’t cry.”
She never answered him, simply turning her back to him. He sighed and slowly stood up to sit on the bed, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.
“Pet… I’m sorry I didn’t-”
“Stop calling me that!” She finally yelled, curling up further.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t…” He continued to beg as he lay down beside her, propping his head on one hand, while the other gently brushed over Buffy’s naked arm.
She didn’t make a move to push him away, standing still as he caressed her skin.
“It’s gonna be ok… Don’t worry.” He whispered smoothly in her ear.
Sluggishly, she turned around to face him and without a word snuggled up against his chest. He froze for a second but soon relaxed, bringing his arm around her and pulling her closer. He slowly rocked her; sleep creeping up on him when her soft voice broke through the fog that engulfed his mind.
“What’s that, luv?”
“Did you really mean it?” she repeated.
“Mean what?”
“That you thought I was amazing?” She asked in a low voice, looking up at him from his chest.
“You’re amazing, Summers.” He answered with a half smile.
“Do you think I’m cute?” She questioned with a pout, innocently blinking her eyes a couple of times.
“You’re gorgeous.” He replied.
She smiled at that, resting her head back on his chest for a while before looking up at him. His eyes were semi-closed as slumber started to take over him again. With one arm draped along the length of the headboard, the other protectively thrown around her he drifted into sleep.
His heart started to race though, as he felt something warm brush over the nape of his neck, a small hand curling around his waist to reach his back and worm its way under his t-shirt, thin legs pressing between his as she moved it under his arm.
He opened his eyes to find her nipping and kissing his neck and quickly closed them at the intense sensation that cursed through his veins. He gasped as she moved up and brushed her mouth against his, her hands pushing him onto his back and she crawled over him.
Her right leg moved over his stomach to settle on the other side, next to his thigh, while her tongue snaked its way into his mouth; the mint taste of the mouthwash and a hint alcohol spilling through. He let out a deep groan as she finally straddled him, putting all her weight over his, her hair cascading around his face to gently caress him.
Her hand continued to explore under his t-shirt, pressing hard against the contours of his abdominal muscles as it made its way down south, over his navel.
“Wha…” The words caught in his throat as her tiny fingers slipped under the waistband of his jeans and fondled the mass of curls beneath before finding their goal. “Ah…” He gasped as she carefully encircled him and began pumping while her lips parted to kiss him once again.
He rolled his eyed back in their sockets at the feel on her caressing him.
“Luv…” He started as she kissed her way down his check to his earlobe.
“Don’t… Call me that.” She gasped.
“What are you… ah…” He stopped in mid sentence as she squeezed him tighter. “…Doing? Please… Stop… we… Oh, God!”
He felt her smile against his neck at his broken voice and it seemed to give him enough strength to grab her by her wrist.
“Please… We can’t do this.” He breathed as his other hand dug into her hair and pulled her up to face him.
“Why not?” She pouted. “Don’t you want it?”
“God, you have no idea how much!” He gasped and she restarted the pumping movements with her right hand.
“Good!” She smiled and dove for his earlobe, taking it into her mouth to nibble at it.
“Please… stop… you’re drunk… you don’t know… Ah!” He inhaled sharply as she gave him another light squeeze.
He seemed completely lost as she let go of him and proceeded with unbuckling his belt and then working on the buttons of his jeans until they were all undone.
She felt herself blush as she looked downwards at his crotch. The innocent smile that spread over her lips almost did him in. She looked breathtaking all flushed and sweaty, her dishevelled hair cascading around her. God, he wanted her so much.
“Pet…” He managed to whisper as he gathered all of his strength, but it seemed to crumble apart when she looked up at him. “We… can’t do this.”
Her answer was to reach into his pants once again, only this time he was fast enough to grab her and stop her.
“You’re drunk, pet. I don’t wanna do it this way. Not like this.” He breathed.
“You don’t want me?” She pouted.
“More than anything. But not like this.”
Suddenly, anger flashed before her eyes and she was up and off him in a second.
“Get out!” She shouted with her back towards him.
He sat up and reached for her, lightly caressing her back and she snapped.
“Get out!” She yelled off the top of her lungs.
“Luv…”
With anger raving through her veins she stood up and flung the door open as she hissed between clenched teeth:
“Get out. Now.”
Head bowed, he stood up and dragged his feet across the floor until he reached the hall and heard the door slam behind his back.