Chapter 9
Chapter Notes: A little bit of tenderness for ya!
The ceremony was beautiful. Spike’s father managed to say a few words on his wife’s behalf, words which brought tears to Buffy’s eyes even though she’d never met the woman. Spike held her hand and kept his eyes downcast as a few people stood and said their piece. It was a rather unorthodox event, having no priest or representative of the Great and Almighty sending her off with prayer; just a few friends and family members gathering around a memorial tombstone, telling stories and sharing their love for Anne. Spike knew they expected him to say something, but he couldn’t. What he wanted to say, he’d say on his own. It wasn’t for them to hear.
When it was over, several people came up to him and his father, wishing them well and giving their condolences. Buffy could tell Spike was edgy and having trouble forcing a smile, so she started answering for him, thanking them for coming, wishing them a safe journey home, all while stroking his arm and slowly stepping away from them. His father mentioned something about gathering at his home for food and refreshments and Buffy just wished she could take Spike back to the hotel, away from the madness. But he was being courteous and agreed to attend, only when his father seemed unable to handle the stress of such an event. It was then that he finally introduced himself, smiling kindly at her and offering his hand.
“I’m Rupert, Spike’s father. I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before.”
“This is Buffy, Dad. My um…she’s my…”
“I’m his girlfriend,” she said quickly, just wanting to save him the trouble of explaining things and shook the older man’s hand. She glanced at Spike for a moment and smiled when he looked at her in awe.
“Yeah. My girlfriend,” he said proudly. “This is my girlfriend, Dad. Buffy. My girlfriend.”
“Layin’ it on a little thick, aren’t you, Spike,” she muttered where only he could hear.
Spike smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t care if she said it to save him or not. He wasn’t going to let it slide and after saying it out loud, he couldn’t help but admit how nice it sounded.
Rupert smiled warmly, though he was unable to hide his grief. “I apologize for meeting you under such—”
Buffy cut him off with a comforting tone. “No need for that. I’m just glad to meet you.”
He nodded appreciatively and gave his son a painful glance. “I suppose I’ll meet you back home.”
“Sure, Da. We’re going to stay here for a bit, yeah? Be home soon.” Rupert left the couple after hugging his son, breaking away when it was apparent that one of them would start crying.
“I don’ know how he’s going to go on,” Spike said sadly. “He loved her so much.”
Buffy embraced him then, uttering quiet words of comfort and stroking his back. “Do you want to be alone for a while? I can wait in the car if you want.”
He took a minute to ponder that, just wanting to hold her a little longer and finally said, “Yeah. If you don’ mind. I jus’ need to say a few things.”
“Of course.” She kissed him on the cheek and left, wiping tears from her eyes. She didn’t know how she’d deal with it if it were her mother that had died and seeing Spike so distraught absolutely killed her. She’d been coddling him all day, unable to stop touching him, brushing his hair out of his face, holding his hand, kissing his cheeks, and hugging him every available opportunity. She thought maybe she’d gone a little overboard but the one time she tried to pull away, he grabbed her hand, tugged her against his side and kissed her on the forehead.
She knew he needed to be alone right then, but she wanted more than anything to just hold him and tell him everything would be ok.
He was coming to mean so much more to her and it was frightening. But what was more frightening was thinking of a life without him in it. Buffy was still a little gun-shy about the Nancy incident and even though she knew the bitch had taken advantage of him, he still participated. It made her feel nauseous even thinking about it but she supposed they’d have to talk about it at some point. Not today, maybe not for a couple of days, but he needed to know that it could never happen again, especially since she’d spent the past three days worrying about him, not once going out and looking for a quick pick-me-up from some strange guy. Hadn’t even thought of it, really. And at the same time, were they really a couple? Had they established anything in the time that they’d come to know one another? Certainly she couldn’t call it cheating when they weren’t even exclusive, but this teeny tiny part of her kept wailing the word ‘betrayal’. She could forgive him this time, considering the circumstances.
The truly interesting thing was that these feelings started well before he got that phone call in the middle of the night. If she was honest with herself, it started the very first time his lips collided with hers. He’d been such an intense force, an unwavering mass of sensuality, a drug she couldn’t get enough of and she was unable to resist. When he’d been jealous of her dancing with that guy at the club, proving his intentions with that awful fuck on his couch, she knew then how deep her feelings ran. She wanted him, wanted Spike, wanted so much more than what she ever thought she’d want from another person. But what truly got under her skin was that she knew…she knew that if his mother hadn’t died, Buffy would have walked out that door. Because she was a coward.
“Ready to go, luv?” He was in the car and Buffy hadn’t even heard him get in.
She turned to face him and delicately wiped underneath his wet eyes. “You ok?”
“Yeah,” he nodded in thought. “I feel better, actually. Not a hundred percent, but…you know.”
“Maybe thirty percent?”
He chuckled softly and started the car. “Fifteen.”
“Well, that’s progress.”
He smiled at her one more time before he pulled out of the parking lot.
She was a coward then, but not anymore. Somehow, when Spike needed her, she’d set into action without a second thought. She supposed it was some hidden maternal instinct that all women had, but she doubted that. Buffy jumped into the fray because she cared about him. She felt so guilty for how she’d acted before that she had to prove him wrong, prove herself wrong. It was such a natural response that she hadn’t really analyzed it until now. She could be a good person. She could be needed and it would be ok. And maybe it would be ok to need him too.
~*~*~*~*~
It was 8pm by the time they returned to the hotel. As they neared the door, Buffy gasped when she remembered her own stupidity.
“What is it?”
“I’m such an idiot.”
Spike opened the door and they walked inside. “What happened?”
“I didn’t pack anything. Nothing! I just left without even…oh my god.”
He laughed and tossed his keys on the table. “That all?”
She covered her mouth with her hands and laughed. “I’m still wearing what I wore to the club last night.”
Spike’s smile waned and he turned around, sitting on an arm chair to remove his shoes. “The club, huh?”
She knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that she’d gone there to pick someone up. Well, well. How the tables turn! Under different circumstances, she might have goaded him a bit to get back at him for what he’d done with Nancy, but she pushed down the urge for his sake. This time. “Yeah, I’d been so worried about you and going crazy in my apartment that I had to get out and get a drink.”
His jaw clenched and he jerked one shoe off without looking at her. “Meet anyone interesting?”
“Yeah. Oz.” She smiled and folded her arms across her chest.
He looked up at her as he removed his other shoe and she almost giggled at the relieved expression on his face. “Sorry I didn’t call. Bloody cleaning crew threw out your business card and then when you called, you didn’t leave a number. I’d been out of my mind searching the place for it.”
She sat down on his lap, linking her arms around his neck. “So you weren’t just avoiding me so you could score some scary tail, huh?” She tried to keep her tone light-hearted but Spike caught the trace of bitterness beneath the surface.
He sighed. “I’m sorry, Buffy.”
She played with his hair, avoiding his eyes. “Let’s not talk about that now, ok?”
“No,” he said firmly and tilted her chin up to face him. “I think we should talk about it, luv. Now or never.”
“I just don’t want you getting upset needlessly. We really can talk about this another time.”
“To be honest…I’d rather talk about anythin’ other than what I’m goin’ through right now. And I don’ feel right glossin’ over somethin’ that’s botherin’ you jus’ because I’m upset about somethin’ else. How’s that fair to you?”
She played with the collar of his shirt and tilted her head. “I don’t want to know your history with her, I don’t want to know what happened, I don’t want any of the details.”
“OK,” he said slowly.
“I just want to say one thing and be done with it.” He looked up at her silently and she continued. “Don’t you ever. Ever. Ever do that again. Ever.”
He smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Never.”
“I mean it. You haven’t seen Bitchy Buffy. And Bitchy Buffy is not nice at all. Bitchy Buffy might kick your ass.”
He kissed her chin and smiled, “Oh, I have no doubt.”
“Just ask Nancy if you don’t believe me.”
He pulled back with wide eyes. “Did you…did you hit her?”
She giggled. “No. But I would have if she’d stayed a second longer. Stupid bitch.”
He leered at her, rolling his tongue behind his teeth. “You’re sexy when you’re jealous.”
She gasped and swatted his shoulder. “I’m not jealous of that…that thing with the crappy Toni & Guy hair.”
He nuzzled her neck with his nose, speaking to her in that low, husky tone that drove her crazy. “Mmm, my sexy little kitten’s got claws.”
“Stop trying to distract me when I’m scolding you for being an idiot.”
He was kissing her throat and moaning. The bastard. “Thought you were only going to say one thing?”
“Well, you made me mad,” her voice became breathy as he slowly stoked the flame within her with the tips of his fingers, inching his way beneath her skirt, “and I don’t know if I forgive you yet.”
“I’m sorry,” he cooed, gently biting down on her jugular. “I’m sorry,” he said again, wiggling his way higher up her thighs and chuckling when she moaned.
“You’re such a jerk,” she whispered, leaning her head back so he had better access to her throat which he gladly accepted with hot open mouthed kisses.
“I know,” he said with a pouting lilt in his voice, slowly dragging his middle and pointer finger over her panties. “Such a mean, mean man.”
“Evil.”
He brushed his lips over hers, staying there, teasing her with it, both of them closing their eyes, waiting. “So evil.”
He hummed silkily and pressed his lips against hers, smiling against her mouth. Then he scooped one arm beneath her knees and placed the other at her back and stood up, kissing her on the cheek as he walked to the bed.
She pointed her toes daintily and said, “I like it when you carry me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I feel like a princess,” she giggled.
“How do you feel when I do this?” He dropped her unceremoniously on the bed and she squealed, throwing a pillow at him.
“Jerk!” Buffy’s cheeks were glowing, her eyes sparkling as she laughed and all Spike could do was look at her, smiling reverently at the vision before him. “What? What is it?”
His smile widened and he crawled over her, forcing her to lie on her back. “I…like you. Buffy.”
She beamed and placed her hands at the back of his head. “You do, huh?”
“Mmhm,” he muttered, biting his lip and settling his hips between her thighs. “An’ before I do something very, very naughty,” he purred, kissing each red-stained cheek, “there’s something I think you should know.”
“You’re a virgin?”
He chuckled and pecked her on the lips. “Yes, Buffy. I’m a virgin and I’m afraid I…” he bit his lip and looked to the ceiling playfully, “I’ve never done this sort of thing before. Promise you won’t tell on me?”
She giggled, nipping at his throat. “What were you going to say?”
“I was going to say…that your little speech earlier goes both ways.”
“That’s fair.” Her hand slid down his back.
“You may have the ability to be Bitchy Buffy…but you have never seen Sadistic Spike,” he waggled his eyebrows and Buffy’s rogue hand was now between them, unbuckling his belt, her lips mere centimeters from his.
“What does Sadistic Spike do when he’s jealous?” She popped open the button of his trousers and slid the zipper down.
“He becomes vicious,” his eye lashes fluttered as her hand slipped into his pants and wrapped around his cock. “Demonic, some would wager.”
“Mmm…what else?” her hand slid down slowly, and then up again.
Spike’s tongue swept across her bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth, moaning when she set a steady rhythm on his rigid shaft. “I…fuck, Buffy…”
“Does that feel good?”
“Yeah…” She kissed him gently, using her free hand to remove his shirt while her other leisurely caressed him. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss and quickly moved his hands to her thighs, pushing up her dress, muttering on her lips, “Take this off now.”
She released him and tugged her dress up and over her shoulders, immediately returning to his cock and staring up at him, watching his expressions change from lust to desperation, to pure bewilderment. She wished she had her camera with her, wished there was a way to capture this moment on film; the way his eyes darkened and seemed to swirl with every color and every shade of blue and silver, the tiny line between his eyebrows forming with every stroke of her hand, his lips swollen and red from her kisses. He was so beautiful, carved out of marble and made real for her.
She moaned quietly when she felt his hand tenderly rubbing her through her panties, cried out when he pushed them aside for more. “I’ll be right back,” he said coyly, kissed her on the lips and slid down her torso. Her hands dropped to her sides and she closed her eyes, smiling as he removed her panties with his teeth. His hands slid from her knees to her inner thighs and he let out a soft, low sound of approval deep in his chest, eyeing her as he kissed her leg. “I can’t wait,” his mouth hovered over her folds, “until I’m right here,” he kissed them, “all the way inside of you.” A single finger teased her entrance.
All her bravado vanished, her voice a raspy imitation of what it once was when she said, “You think you’re so sexy, don’t you?”
He flicked his tongue against her clit, smiling when she gasped. “You don’t think so?”
“You’re all right,” she teased, biting her lip as she gazed down at him.
He growled mischievously, climbed up her torso and slid his cock inside her, devouring her moan with his lips. “I warned you,” he thrust once, “about Sadistic Spike, kitten.”
She let out a girlish laugh and then moaned when he shifted his hips and rubbed her in just the right spot. “I think I like Sadistic Spike.”
“God…you really do feel amazin’, luv,” he grunted, gliding in and out of her effortlessly.
Buffy lifted her head and kissed him, wrapping her legs firmly around his waist as she met him thrust for thrust. “Oh my god, right there!”
“I know, kitten,” he slid one hand down her thigh as the other propped his weight up on one bent elbow. “Never been so good…fuck, do that again.”
She pivoted her hips. “Me neither…God you feel so good.”
He kissed her, breathing hard through his nose as they both instinctively picked up the pace, moving as one being, caressing and coercing one another’s bodies to go faster, slower, fluidly merging with hoarse moans and soft sighs on their skin, heating it up. Spike had never experienced anything like it, this feeling of absolution and harmony. “How is it possible,” he paused when Buffy mewled beneath him, “that every time we do this…it gets better and better?”
She smiled sweetly and pressed her lips against his, wailing when he brought a hand between them and rubbed her clit. “Because you do things like that,” she cried and arched her back beneath him.
“Buffy…”
“Ooh!”
“Never want to leave here, always want you, Buffy,” his voice became strained with desire, licking his lips and closing his eyes for just a moment as she squeezed him from the inside.
“I’m gonna come, Spike,” her eyes were watery as she looked up at him, dazed and glassy. Her throat felt cold as she sucked in shallow breaths and Spike moved a bit faster, peppering her throat with gentle kisses.
“Come for me, Buffy…there it is,” he smiled, feeling her walls flutter around him, chuckling happily when she clawed at his back and shouted. She was strangling his cock, grinning dumbly at him as her body tensed around him. “Oh, fuck…fuck you’re beautiful,” he said with a raspy moan, fixing his eyes on hers as he felt his cock pulse, coming within her. Buffy kept going, her eyes half open now as wave after wave of beautiful bliss shocked her core, Spike pumping his hips faster, riding out his own orgasm.
“Don’t stop,” she pleaded, holding him in place with her calves.
He shook his head before dropping it on her shoulder, kissing her there as he continued to enter her, almost sobbing as the sensations became so intense he almost had to pull out. Before it was too much, she stilled beneath him, panting and swallowing gulps of air. He rose up on his elbows and kissed her forehead, smiling against it when she laughed blissfully. He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him to lie on his chest, brushing her hair away from her hot skin.
“I don’t know about you, but…”
“Yeah…that was pretty amazing.”
He held her quietly, listening to the soft sounds of her breathing. His cheeks hurt from smiling, his cock was begging for a good ten minute breather, his body protested any and all movement and the girl next to him, the reason for this euphoria, was lovingly scratching his chest, kissing his shoulders and curling against him. He felt perfectly content, despite everything. “Buffy?”
“Hmm,” she said sleepily.
“When you…introduced yourself to my father as my…” He felt her smile against his chest.
“Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” he kissed her on the temple and played with the ends of her hair, sighing happily.
They lay in comfortable silence, drawing lazy patterns with their fingers on their skin, tangling their limbs together, stealing kisses and small bites. Some moments later, Spike felt her body go slack and he tilted his head to look at her, smiling when he realized she was fast asleep.
“Where did you come from, Buffy Summers?”