Chapter 3
One moment of complete, utter bliss greeted Liz upon awakening. She woke in a hazy daze, the feel of the warm body beside her encouraging her to doze in and out throughout the morning. Sleep-fogged eyes opened, recognized William, and planted a soft kiss to his brow where his head was tucked up in the crook of her shoulder.
He didn’t awaken, but curled closer against her. The image was almost comical, given how large he was compared to her, and Liz fought back a fit of the giggles at the memory of her high-school friend Xander’s great-dane that liked to pretend it was a lap dog with humorous results. She discovered she liked to use feline imagery with William, though. A great big lion – or maybe a panther – that thought it was a domesticated kitty-cat. Yum.
One hand lazily stroked up and down his back in time with his sleeping breathing, and she briefly allowed herself the delusion that this moment would last forever.
Of course, nothing peaceful ever lasted long with a two-year-old in the house.
“Mommy, mommy!” Joyce bounded into the room right on cue, still dressed up in her teddy bear pajamas. “Auntie Dawnie’s making waffas!” With the superhuman energy that only the very young possessed, Joyce bounced onto the bed beside Liz, shaking the mattress.
“Shh,” Liz caught hold of her to calm her down. “William’s still sleeping…”
“’Mornun, Will-yum!” Joyce squealed excitedly – and loudly – bouncing yet again.
There was a muffled groan and a slight stirring from the William-shaped lump in the blankets beside Liz. “Hey, morsel,” he grumbled, still half asleep. Soft, warm lips brushed Liz’s collarbone. “’Mornin’, luv…”
Ooh, sleepy William sounds like Spike, all growly and husky… Liz added that fact to the rapidly growing mental list of things she loved about this man. “’Morning, Will.” She kissed his brow again, cuddling Joyce up to her side in an effort to keep the toddler calm for a couple of minutes. “Sleep well?”
He let out a spectacular yawn. “Mmm…wonderfully,” he practically purred, tightening his arms around her as his eyelids drifted closed again.
“Will-yum, wake up!” Joyce exclaimed, jabbing him pointedly in the head. She giggled when she noted that his rather unruly curls were shapeable in the morning and promptly set to playing with his hair with childish glee. “Dawnie’s making waffas!” she repeated.
“Mornin’ people should be illegal,” William complained good-naturedly, trying to bury his head in the crook of Liz’s arm.
“Curly hair!” Joyce protested, continuing to stick the front of his hair up in something resembling some sort of bizarre unicorn horn.
And Liz couldn’t help but smile. After all, warm boyfriend against her side, daughter sprawled over her stomach, cute playing with each other… It was enough to melt any mother’s – and any woman’s – heart. A soothing feeling of peace settled over her at it. Like this was the way her life was meant to be. Like it was all coming together now…
William finally reluctantly sat up with a groan, catching Joyce as he did so and settling her down into his lap. “Mmm…I’m hungry…” he teased with a wicked grin. “You my breakfast?”
Joyce squealed and squirmed and tried to get away, but he caught her easily.
“Yum!” he exclaimed, tickling her tummy.
Joyce yanked on his hair. “Waffas! Waffas, Will-yum!”
He looked up at her with shinning blue eyes, a contemplative look on his face. “What’s this about waffles?” he asked lightly.
“Dawnie’s making waffas!” Joyce giggled.
He pretended to consider this for a minute. “All right, have Dawnie bring your mum and me some waffles. Guess I could eat those instead of you…”
Joyce laughed, and Liz snickered. “You’re so cute,” she teased. “Whattaya think, Joycie? Isn’t William pretty?”
“Pretty Will-yum!” Joyce agreed excitedly.
William fixed Liz with a death glare. “Maybe I’ll try eating mom instead…” he joked lightly.
“Betcha could eat me right up,” Liz flirted right back, sidling up against him.
A coy little smile, and then his lips were upon hers, and Liz melted. It wasn’t a particularly good kiss. After all, they were both still half asleep, and there was a little girl bouncing on the bed again, and then there was the dreaded morning mouth. Plus, Liz nearly burst out into hysterics when she caught a lingering taste of the waxed floss he’d used the night before. But it still left both of them panting and desperate for more…although after teeth had been thoroughly brushed.
“Be right back,” William’s lips quirked before he lifted Joyce up, placed her firmly on the floor, and got out of bed. “And you’d better head off to breakfast before I decide I don’t want to wait and eat you up, instead,” he teased.
Joyce let out a delighted little shriek and ran her clumsy – but alarmingly fast – run down the hallway.
Liz felt instantly bereft as the mattress lifted slightly at the absence of his weight. She lay back on her pillows and watched him vanish into the bathroom with a satisfied smile on her lips, though. Yup, waking up with William was definitely a pleasure to be savored…
“Don’t suppose the toothpaste makes you pervy, too?” she teased, getting out of bed herself and digging around in her dresser for a clean blouse.
“Colgate? Doesn’t do a thing for me.” A rich, vibrant chuckle sounded through the door.
Liz pulled off her pajama top and buttoned up her blouse. “So what’s the plan today?” she inquired curiously, running a brush through her hair.
“Dawnie’s gotta meet with the director of admissions for the big sales speech, then she’s attending a special lecture they’ve got set for this weekend, a couple of study groups, and then she’s meeting with the girl whose dorm she’s staying in tonight,” he rattled off in quick succession.
She turned off the power-saver mode on her laptop and checked her e-mail. “Ooh! 87 spams since last night!” she said with a roll of her eyes.
He snorted loudly enough that she could hear him through the door. “Anything good?”
Liz blinked. “‘Banned Pictures And Movies Of Shitting-Pissing-Animal-Sex-Granny-Sex-Tit Torture’?” she read incredulously. “What does that even mean?”
A sudden burst of laughter from the bathroom. “I dread to find out,” he agreed. “Click on the link.”
“What? No way. I’ll be bombarded by pop-up ads,” she argued reasonably enough. “Ooh! Free tickets to Beatles’ reunion…” She giggled.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t half the band dead?” he retorted sarcastically.
“‘Make her choke on your monster tool’,” Liz continued.
“What was that?”
“Er…nothing…” Liz grinned and moved the message into her folder of ridiculous sex phrases to try to make William burst out laughing. Giving up on the rest of her junk mail folder, she shut the laptop back off and rose with a stretch. “You mind if I come in and brush my teeth?” Liz asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
“I’ll try not to elbow you,” he agreed, opening the door.
Which actually took a bit of shuffling to accommodate. Liz added it to the mental list of details she was filling in about him: Left-handed. The sort of stuff you wouldn’t know just talking over the phone, no matter how intimate your conversations were…
“Hafta pick her up tomorrow morning around noon. My guess is that whatever wild dorm partying she’ll be doing will have her just waking up around then. And then…” he trailed off.
Liz thrust her toothbrush into her mouth. “You two drive back home,” she agreed with a sigh.
“Right…” A smile quirked the edges of his lips as he spit into the sink. “Told you Colgate doesn’t do a thing for me,” he teased. “Never said a thing about Crest…” He gestured to her toothpaste.
Liz smiled and sighed inwardly. She’d come to spot long ago that he used humor to hide his inner feelings. And it was all too clear to her right now that Dawn’s leaving for the day troubled him more than he was willing to let on. She had been William’s entire life after their mother died and…
“She loves you,” she finally whispered softly, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “And you’ve done an amazing job raising her by yourself…”
A slight blush graced his cheeks. Not that he should’ve been surprised that she found him out. It was uncanny how a person he’d known only through telephone conversations for so long could read him like an open book. A woman… “Thanks,” he murmured in reply before pulling away with a sigh. “Mind if I use your shower?”
A quick, unbidden thrill went through Liz at that: Naked William in my shower! “Go right ahead,” she said with a coy smile. “I’ll try to keep Dawnie from bursting in on you…”
He groaned. “She still insists I’m paying all her therapy bills for that,” he complained good-naturedly, morning moodiness passed for now.
“That girl doesn’t know how good she’s got it,” Liz teased, eyeing his butt with a wink before exiting the bathroom. She heard the water turn on and had to forcibly banish the images of hot, naked William limbs as she got dressed and headed for breakfast. After all, she had other important things to do today besides fantasize about her boyfriend. If only she could remember what they were…
* * *
“So, where is this building exactly?” William asked speculatively, squinting hard at the map.
Liz looked over his shoulder, pointing aimlessly as she tried to find the administration center.
Dawn contemplated putting a paper bag over her head so that no one could see her. “Could you guys try to look a bit more like clueless prospie parents?” she asked rhetorically.
William fixed her with an angry look at that. “We’re trying to find out where you’re supposed to go,” he pointed out in a clipped voice.
“I can find it fine on my own,” Dawn insisted. “I don’t need you constantly mothering me!”
His teeth clenched at that and his jaw muscle twitched. “You’re lucky you had me to mother you,” he insisted.
“Whatever,” Dawn mumbled sullenly under her breath.
Fortunately, at that moment, Joyce decided to break the tension. “Puppy!” she squealed from the wagon Liz was pulling behind her.
William spotted the golden retriever puppy that had caught Joyce’s eye as it rounded the corner. “Here you go, pidge,” he said lightly, lifting her up into his arms so she could see better.
She snuggled up contentedly against him as they continued to walk. Liz bit her lip and continued to pull the wagon. Dawn trudged forward resolutely, somehow instinctively knowing which way to go.
Liz let her walk on ahead before picking up the wagon and keeping pace with William and her daughter. “She’s just itchy to be on her own,” she assured him softly.
“Itchy to get away from me…” he grumbled, setting Joyce down as they entered the building.
Liz quickly scrambled to catch the young girl, latching an elastic bracelet around Joyce’s arm. Dawn watched the toddler run out to the edge of the leash that bound her to her mother and begin running in circles around Liz.
“You keep her on a leash?” Dawn couldn’t help but tease.
“You should see how far she can run in the one second I accidentally take my eyes off her,” Liz retorted.
William merely quietly took the wagon from Liz and slipped one arm around her waist. Together, they followed after where Dawn had already reported to the desk.
“Aha!” the boy behind the desk announced, finding Dawn’s nametag and information packet from the folders on the desk. “You’re from San Francisco, huh?”
Dawn took in the dark hair, Hispanic complexion, lean build, and grinned. “Yup. Came down south for the weekend.”
“And I know you’re coming to UCLA,” he teased.
“Maybe,” she retorted coyly, twirling one strand of hair around her finger. “Got any recs for me?”
“Got a major in mind?” he retorted.
“Maybe art?” Dawn ventured hesitantly. “History?”
“Awesome,” he grinned. “Took the 100s art history sequence last year. You totally want to talk to Professor Carter, who’s…” He intentionally leaned forward so that their hands were brushing on the desk between them. “Right there,” he pointed with a bright smile.
And William’s eyes narrowed. “Ahem,” he coughed loudly.
The guide noticed him and Liz for the first time. “This mom and dad?” he asked Dawn.
“What?” Liz exclaimed. “I don’t look that old!” She turned to William. “Please, tell me I don’t look that old…”
Dawn chuckled. “You don’t look that old,” she assured Liz. “My big brother and his girlfriend,” she informed the incredibly cute guide who she’d just noticed had dimples. Yum.
“Ah…gotcha… And the kid’s…?”
“My daughter, Joyce,” Liz introduced with a smile, offering him her hand. “You’ll be giving Dawn the tours?”
“Once the whole group arrives,” he agreed with a polite smile. “They’ve still got fifteen minutes to trickle in.”
Liz noticed William’s increased irritation at the young man’s clear interest in Dawn. “Great,” she said with a smile. “Dawnie, do you want us to go on, and then we’ll pick you up at the dorm tomorrow?”
“Cool,” Dawn agreed, trying to look casual. “I’ll call tonight to let you know when.”
“You’ve got Liz’s number, right?” William broke in, still eyeing the guide suspiciously.
She gave him her patented eye-roll. “Yes, mother,” she said in a dull monotone. “I can take care of myself, you know. I mean, who went out and made breakfast, got your lazy ass out of bed, found the—”
“I know,” he cut her off with a sigh. “See you tomorrow, then?”
Dawn realized his conciliation for what it was and flashed him a bright smile. “Thanks,” she said before catching him up in a big hug. “I’ll be sure to call and let you know how everything’s going. Just…not while you two are at work,” she winked.
William actually managed a small smile at that. “We’d traumatize you right and proper then,” he teased, letting her go.
“Bye, Liz,” Dawn gave her a quick hug, too. “Bye, Joycie!”
Joyce giggled and hugged Dawn’s leg. “Buh-bye!”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Dawn assured her, ruffling her hair lightly.
William promptly removed Joyce so that Dawn could restore the circulation to her leg. “Take care,” he said to a quickly retreating back. And sighed. “She’s growing up,” he tried to comment casually, but his voice cracked.
“It just gives you time to finally focus on your own life,” Liz concluded, slipping her arm through his. “Whattaya say we head on home?”
* * *
“I take it all back,” William concluded an hour and a half later, banging his forehead on the table. “I never want to take care of a kid again. Ever.” Another bang just for good measure.
Joyce laughed at his antics in a delighted manner and threw another string of spaghetti at his head, landing it artfully in his hair. “Funny Will-yum!” she exclaimed in delight.
Liz chuckled. “Abandoning Dawn to ‘that pimp of a tour guide’?” she teased.
“Good riddance,” he agreed with a cheeky grin. “You done with your lunch, sweet pea?” he asked Joyce softly, removing the noodle from his hair and adding it to the growing collection on his napkin.
She aimed a spoonful of sauce at him.
He deftly caught it, lifting her out of her chair with his other arm. “Not nice to throw food, you know. You want to keep me pretty, right?”
Joyce pondered that for a second. “Pretty Will-yum,” she finally agreed apologetically.
“Quite all right, sweetness.” He leaned in close. “Don’t throw your food, and I’ll bet mommy won’t make you take as many baths, too.”
Joyce’s eyes widened at that. “Really, mommy?”
“Uh…yeah,” Liz agreed, a little stunned at how easily William had calmed the violent tornado of flying spaghetti.
“No baff!” Joyce exclaimed excitedly.
“As soon as we get pretty again,” William agreed, lifting her up out of her chair.
“I can get her,” Liz hastily rose.
“Nah. I’m already a mess. Might as well make the sacrifice complete,” he winked at her.
“This is just your way out of getting out of carrying all my boxes to your car,” Liz concluded with an amused humph, following them into the bathroom and watching from the door.
William sat Joyce down on the toilet seat and turned on the water in the sink. “And I thought Dawnie packed heavily. What’ve you got in those? Rocks? Didn’t know you were a geology major, luv,” he ribbed her.
“Hardy-har-har,” Liz rolled her eyes. “And I’d like to see how much your textbooks weigh…”
He shuddered and began to wash the sauce from Joyce’s face. “Heaven forbid,” he agreed. A moment’s hesitation as his brow furrowed in thought. “You are attending Berkeley because—”
“It’s the best school I got into, and I want to get my graduate degree,” Liz cut him off, knowing this argument by heart. “And now that Joycie can handle daycare for a couple hours a day, I finally have time.”
He smiled softly. “Wouldn’t want to be an unfair influence,” he commented off-handedly.
She shook her head. “The fact that in one month I’ve be living within five blocks of my gorgeous hitherto long-distance boyfriend is just an added bonus.”
“Right…” A small quirk of his lips.
A pregnant pause followed, while Liz just watched how he worked with her daughter, playing little games of tag as he cleaned her off and creating a ‘washcloth monster’ for her to play with. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched it.
He finally set down a freshly cleaned Joyce with an exclamation of triumph, finally noticing that she was watching him. “What?” he asked, slightly embarrassed.
“You’re really good with kids,” Liz complimented in a soft voice.
“Yeah, well, mum needed all the help she could get with Dawn after Jim’s death, and…” he trailed off when her finger rested on his lips to silence him.
“I know,” she assured him.
And she did. Although she’d had to pick it up through bits and pieces he’d slipped out to her, as well as that one night when he’d been slightly tipsy and had called her at four in the morning in tears. In short, he’d had more than his fair share of difficulties in his life. His father had run out when his mother had gotten pregnant with him, shattering her and forever cursing the attempted reconciliations he had wanted with his son. The only good the man had ever done was to make William as obsessively responsible and loyal as he was today – he was not going to end up like his father, he’d firmly decided.
William had grown attached to Dawn’s father, Jim, when his mother had remarried. However, when Dawn was only a year old, Jim had died in a tragic plane crash. William and his mother had both drawn in after that, taking care of each other and a baby Dawn. William had been only nine, but he’d pretty much grown up then.
Then, when William was twenty-two and fresh out of college, his mother had finally passed on from cancer after a lifetime of chain-smoking. Suddenly, he’d had a fourteen-year-old sister that he was sole custodian over, all while he was entering graduate school. Liz couldn’t imagine how he’d held it together.
But the string of tragedies had definitely left their mark on him. The real William, the one buried deep down inside, rarely showed himself. He’d built up some impressive walls over the years, closing his real feelings off from the world. Even Liz didn’t flatter herself that he was always open with her, but she got glimpses, and that was more than the rest of the world saw.
It wasn’t so different than her own reticence, actually. And perhaps that was why they trusted each other with their deepest, darkest secrets: Namely, that they were both still human and still hurt.
“I love you.”
The words seemed to come out of nowhere and everywhere, hanging between them heavily. Then:
“I love you, too.”
They both smiled at that, and Liz caught up Joyce while William washed out his own hair in the sink.
“Why don’t you move your toys into mommy’s room, so you can play on the big floor there while William and I do our boring adult paperwork?” Liz suggested lightly.
“And William especially gets to suffer through freshmen’s grammatical debauchery of the English language,” he muttered under his breath.
“Yay!” Joyce squealed, excited to have her favorite play place for the day. Her mom usually wanted the inevitable mess to stay in Joyce’s room.
Liz let Joyce down and watched the toddler vanish into her room, only to come out a few seconds later with a handful of stuffed animals.
“We’re working in bed today, are we?” William teased, tousling his hair dry with a clean towel.
“Any objections?”
“None. But you’d better get those boxes moved fast,” he teased. “I’d hate to have to start my work without you.”
“Jerk,” she teased good-naturedly, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. “You are so helping me…”
* * *
Later that evening, after William had finally finished grading his papers and Liz had completed her financial papers for the month, all between the occasional cuddle and Joyce’s babbling as her stuffed animals paraded around the room, Liz had an epiphany.
Namely, that moving the phone next to the bed had been an absolutely brilliant idea on her part.
“Oh, god, Buffy! Yes!” Spike’s voice moaned out.
“Fuck, yeah, baby! Uh! Uh!” Buffy retorted in husky gasps.
Of course, Liz and William were nowhere near the conversation. Having safely trusted to their ‘uh-uh’ tapes, they’d promptly ignored their work for some ‘quality’ time now that Joyce was asleep. It was actually uncharacteristically negligent of both of them. In fact, Darla would quite possibly fire them if she found out. However, neither really cared at the moment…
Liz’s fingers traced up and down William’s spine, dragging the fabric along with her caresses ever so slightly. One foot tangled with his, while the other slid up and down his thigh. And, all along, she thrust her tongue against his, encouraging the mating of their mouths and tasting all of him that she could.
William, rather uncharacteristically saying ‘to hell with caution’, had pinned her body beneath his on the mattress, his chest pressing her small breasts flat as he covered her body with his larger one. It had been so long since he’d felt a woman’s body beneath him, and the feel of every inch of her – all rubbing wantonly against him – had him close to exploding. But with their traditional lot of misfits and perverts on the phone only a few feet away, he had to settle for just devouring her lips. For the moment.
Her teeth found his bottom lip and nibbled at it playfully as one hand traced up his spine to the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Her left hand ventured between them now, alternating stroking his tight stomach muscles and the small of his back, glancing across bare flesh for the first time now that his shirt was half pulled up.
He broke away from her kiss with a gasp, lips quickly descending again, but this time just grazing the corner of her lips before covering her face. His tongue flicked out to taste her earlobe before catching it between his teeth and twisting gently. He got a moan – a real, genuine, not-fake-sex-talk moan – for his troubles and moved slowly down her throat, tasting the salt of her sweat as she held him against her.
His own hands became more adventurous as well. One palm cupped a rounded breast, balancing and kneading its weight. Her flesh wasn’t as firm as a woman who had never born a child, but its full richness was all he noticed. His free hand slid down her side, across her thigh, until he found the back of her knee. He pulled her leg up around his waist then, grinding into her, letting her feel…
“Oh god!” Liz moaned aloud, in almost perfect time with her voice on the tape. But there was no way anyone could mistake the half-bored recorded utterances with the husky passion in her voice now. “William…”
He fell to a panting rest on top of her at that, his body still rocking slightly against her subconsciously. “P-Probably should wait until our shift’s done,” he felt obliged to say.
She nodded. “Way weird with the tape playing…”
“Doesn’t seem to bother me,” he commented wryly, shifting his weight so that he lay beside her, cradling her in his arms. “But, then, we all know I’m screwed up…”
“I think you’re wonderful,” she concluded, tracing the sharp edge of his cheekbone with one hand. “And, hey, it’s not like you’re the only one with issues with intimacy.”
“I-I told you about Dru, right?” he ventured uncomfortably.
“During the infamous ‘drunken phone call’,” she assured him. “And I got the semi-coherent story from Dawnie…”
“I—” he gulped, Adam’s Apple bobbing.
“I know,” she soothed softly, fingers twining comfortingly in the soft, dark hairs at the back of his neck.
He shook his head. “I want you,” he insisted vehemently, pulling her in for another kiss.
She melted against him and let her tongue tangle lazily with his for a minute before pulling back. “That’s what I knew,” she countered with a little grin.
He laughed at that and gave her a quick squeeze. “What would I do without you?” he sighed.
“Wither away and die?” she teased.
He smiled. “Kinda can’t believe you’re really here,” he said wistfully. “That you’re so beautiful and you want me… No one has ever…” He got choked up and trailed off, tears stinging the corners of his eyes.
“I do,” she insisted softly.
“Why?” The question sounded so naked and exposed.
A soft smile curved her lips as she stroked his hair. “Because you’re kind and gentle. Because you’re smart and funny. Because I’ve seen how wonderful you are with Joyce…and with Dawn. Because you’ve always been there for me when I’m the most down.” She leaned in and brushed a soft kiss across his closed eyelid. “Because you can always make me laugh, even when everything seems so sad.” A kiss to the other eyelid. “You know…the same reasons you love me.”
He smiled at that and pulled her on top of him. “Want you even more now,” he practically purred, sliding his hands down her body. “Want to make love to you…” A delicious pout saddened his face. “But I’ve gotta wait ‘til our shift’s over…”
A wicked smile curved her lips. “Nothing says we can’t fool around ‘til then,” she said coyly. “’Cause I’m really not complaining about the necking and heavy petting…”
“Oh, no?” he grinned. “’Cause I—”
“W-William?” she cut him off, her voice sounding uncharacteristically timid and needy.
“Yeah, luv?”
“Just…touch me…”