Chapter 13: Confession Time
Xander flung the door open wide and gaped in horror at the sight before him. Buffy stood trapped against the wall while Spike pinned her thoroughly in place. She thrashed against him, trying to break free, but for some reason her efforts weren’t succeeding in throwing him off.
Xander stood frozen in place until he saw Spike’s demon features emerge and he lunged for Buffy’s neck.
That snapped him out of his stupor.
“Buffy!” he cried out in fear as he grabbed Spike roughly by the shoulder and ripped him off of the Slayer. “You bastard!” he turned to Spike, quickly catching one of the stakes from the nearby table and thrusting it straight at the captured vampire’s heart.
Back against the wall, Buffy’s eyes widened in horror at her lover’s peril, but she was still too stunned and weak-kneed to do anything about it but watch on.
Luckily, Spike reacted in the nick of time, stopping the stake instants before it would have plunged into his chest.
“Buffy, get him!” Xander called out, struggling to free his wrist from the vampire’s grasp.
“You stupid git!” Spike hissed, gripping Xander’s wrist tighter and finally forcing him to drop the stake.
“Ah!” Xander screamed, clutching his wrist.
“Ah!” Spike said at the same instant, clutching his head.
“Spike, are you all right?” Dawn squealed, running over to him.
“Dawnie, get back!” Xander cried out in warning. “He’s the evil one…which is why he has the chip in his head…” his voice slowed when he realized that his earlier assessment must have been off in some way. “Wait a minute,” he began again confused, “if you’ve got that chip, how were you biting Buffy?”
“It doesn’t work on me anymore,” Buffy said numbly, relief at Spike’s near miss still running through her.
“Buffy, are you all right?” Xander looked at her sympathetically.
Her face was pale, and she seemed to be hyperventilating. Obviously due to fear from her near death experience, Xander quickly decided. She seemed very shaky on her feet, and the instant Xander saw her neck, he knew why.
“Oh my god, Buffy!” he exclaimed anxiously. “He got you! I’m so sorry I didn’t get here in time! Look, we’ll go to the hospital and then—”
He was abruptly cut off when his helping hand was pushed aside and she practically ran over to Spike.
“Oh god!” she whimpered, clutching him tightly to her. “I-I thought…I was so scared…a-and I couldn’t…” she said between sobs, holding his head into her shoulder and petting his hair softly.
“Buffy!” Xander tried to break her out of her shock. She was obviously still a bit too stunned by what Spike had tried to do to realize the danger of her actions. Right now the vampire’s mouth was mere inches from her throat… Xander tried to pull him away from her again.
“No!” Buffy exclaimed, hugging Spike to her with renewed strength. “Don’t touch him, Xander!”
“But Buffy, he tried to—”
“He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to,” she cut him off.
Xander just stood there for a second, a confused look on his face. “What?!” he finally blurted out.
“Yeah, thanks for instantly jumpin’ to the wrong conclusions ‘bout me, mate,” Spike rose from his position nuzzled in Buffy’s hair to face him. “Real sporting o’ you to try an’ kill me without figurin’ out what happened first, too.”
The hopelessly confusion on Xander’s face increased. “B-Buffy, what’s going on here?” he finally demanded.
Buffy’s face reddened, and she cast a nervous glance back and forth between Spike and Xander. “H-He bit me,” she finally admitted slowly, “but only because I wanted him to…”
Xander’s face was even more confused for a second, and then his eyes widened when he understood. “You bastard!” he yelled at Spike. “You did this to her! You-you put her under a thrall, and-and that’s why she’s been so weird lately, so out of it. You’ve been feeding from her!”
“Oh, for cryin’ out—!” Spike threw his hands up in the air and rolled his eyes heavenwards. “I don’t even have a thrall, you wanker!”
“Oh, you’d like us to believe that, wouldn’t you?” Xander pointed a finger at him accusingly, and it began to shake with fury. “I’m on to you, though. What did Drusilla teach you? Bet you two had plenty of time in all those years you were together…”
“Dru didn’t teach me squat,” Spike sighed in annoyance.
“It’s not a thrall, Xander,” Buffy insisted. “Spike and I are…” She turned to look nervously at the vampire.
He had this odd hopeful look in his eyes, like all of his being wanted her to tell Xander, but he knew it would never happen so he was bracing himself for disappointment and heartbreak instead.
“Well, we’re…” she caught his hand in hers and gave it a slight squeeze. Internally, he braced himself harder, and it felt like a blinding pain in Buffy’s chest when she saw the anguish there. “We’re…together,” she finally finished slowly.
A strange feeling of relief swept over her once the words were out of her mouth. Sure, she was going to have to deal with the explosion from Xander once the words finally pierced through his denial, but it was over: the hiding, the fear, the not knowing whether anyone suspected…
She cast a quick glance in Spike’s direction. And if for no other reason, it was all worth it just to see that look in his eyes. She had seen it before when she’d invited him into her house before the final battle with Glory, and then again when she’d practically ripped their clothing aside and thrust down onto him deep in the abandoned building. It was a look of wonder, of awe, of complete and absolute love…
“We’ve been together for a while now,” she said more firmly, reaching out to caress his cheek with one hand.
She turned back to the door and discovered that the rest of her friends had been present to hear her last statement as well…as had past Spike. He looked like he was about to break out into hysterics any minute at the looks on everyone’s faces. Glad someone thinks this is funny, Buffy thought wryly.
“Willow, it’s OK,” Xander grasped desperately at his last straw. “We understand if you slipped with the magic, but you should have told us so we could fix it.”
“Uh…Xander,” Willow began, “I haven’t done any magic in a month.”
Tara raised an eyebrow in her direction, and Willow smiled proudly. The brunette witch gave her a shy smile in return before turning back to the proceedings.
“Love spell?” Xander persisted.
“No,” Willow shook her head vehemently.
“Do thy will?”
“No.”
“Brainwashing? Memory loss? Temporary insanity?”
“No!” Willow finally exclaimed, annoyed.
“Tara? Anya?” he begged of the two other women.
They both shook their heads.
“Dawn?” Xander’s voice was pleading by now.
“There’s no spell,” Buffy ended his questions before they got ridiculously out of hand. “And there’s nothing wrong with either of us. We just…” She paused to look at Spike, and he shrugged casually. “We’re just together is all,” she finished. “Because we both want to be.”
“Isn’t it exciting?!” Dawn broke in, a broad smile on her face. “I mean I thought they’d never manage it, but Tada!”
The expression on Willow’s face was less enthusiastic, but no where near as terrified as Xander’s. “Buffy,” she said, her brow furrowing slightly. “When did this all happen? How did this happen?”
Buffy turned to Spike, and he gave her a little reassuring smile. She took a deep breath and began. “After I…came back,” she said slowly, “things were really hard. I-I was trying to hide where I had been from all of you, and it was tearing me apart. I needed to tell someone, and Spike was just…there. Not judging me or trying to figure out if I was wrong… He just let me be me. He was someone I could tell, someone I could talk to. We became friends, and then…” She trailed off.
Willow nodded slowly. “OK,” she said thoughtfully, “I can see that, I guess… But why didn’t you say anything before?”
“I was afraid,” Buffy admitted, “of what you’d think, and how Spike would react, and I didn’t really know what I felt for him. And it was scary. I-If I kept it a secret, then it was just us and I didn’t have to worry about anything else.”
“I think we can understand that,” Tara cast another shy smile in Willow’s direction.
Willow continued to stare off into space, trying to put words to what she was thinking.
Xander didn’t have any difficulty, however. “Buffy, what can you possibly be thinking?” he exclaimed in complete outrage. “Evil, soulless vampire, remember? If it weren’t for that chip, we’d all be breakfast right about now!”
“Maybe you would be,” Spike growled sullenly under his breath.
“The chip doesn’t work on me,” Buffy reminded Xander and informed the others. “I don’t know why, but…I guess I came back wrong…”
“No,” Spike insisted, “there’s nothing wrong with you. The more I see of you, the more I’m sure that you’re the same…”
Willow’s brow furrowed in a different way. “The chip doesn’t register you as human?” she asked, perplexed. “That doesn’t make any sense. The spell I used should have brought you back the exact same way—”
“Ahem!” Xander cut in. “Buffy being snuggly with the undead! Much more important than the spell!”
Buffy sheepishly took a step back and blushed when she realized that she had indeed been sidled right up against Spike.
“Xander,” she pleaded with him, “say something to me. Ask me something else, anything. I don’t want this to hurt you…”
Xander let out a long, deep sigh at the tone of her voice and struggled to control the whirlwind of emotions that were ripping through him at the moment. “I guess the biggest problem I have,” he said after a long while, “is why? Why Spike?”
Buffy considered her response for a while. “Just because,” she finally shrugged. “It just happened that way, and I can’t explain it. I came back, and everything felt so painful. But then when we were together, it was like it was all quiet again. I was at peace; I was happy. You said yourself the other week that I’ve been more like myself these past few weeks. Well, you’re right, I have, and Spike’s responsible for a lot of that. Everything’s been so hard and confusing and conflicted, and then suddenly one thing was clear. There was one thing I wanted…”
Spike rested one hand in the crook of her back where no one could see it, and she relaxed slightly.
“I can’t explain it,” she repeated. “It just sort of happened…”
Xander sighed and nodded. “The chip,” he repeated. “Still having a lot of problems about that chip.”
“I am too,” Willow added. “Buffy, if it ever stops working, I mean really stops working… You know what happened last time!”
“Relax, Red,” Spike said. “Your fish’re safe with me.”
She actually smiled slightly at his joke. Spike knew he had always liked her for a reason.
Buffy looked at him, and he pointedly looked away from her, not wanting to discuss this in front of the Scoobies.
“There are some things that we haven’t really talked about yet,” she said finally, “and I can completely understand your concern. But we’re going to try to figure it out.”
“Promise not to hurt anyone till we get this all settled,” Spike mumbled under his breath. “If somethin’ happens to the chip, that is…”
Buffy gave them a small smile and a shrug.
Willow seemed to except that for the time being, at least. “Buffy, are you sure about this?” she demanded one last time.
“I’m happier than I’ve been since I got back,” she nodded, “and for quite a while before I died as well. I think that makes it worth a try, at least.”
Willow nodded. “This will definitely take time to adjust to…”
“I know,” Buffy agreed, “but no one’s staked Spike yet, which is better than I’d hoped for.”
“Barely,” Spike muttered under his breath, casting an angry glare in Xander’s direction.
“Buffy,” Xander finally said, “I’m not going to lie to you. I’m going to try to pretend that I don’t know about this for as long as is physically possible and hope that it just blows over.”
Buffy giggled slightly at this typical Xander reaction.
“Denial is a happy place, and I hope to spend many blissful hours there,” he actually managed to crack a small smile. “But I don’t really have the right to make any decisions for you. I may think you’re wrong, but it’s not my life to live.”
“Thanks a lot.” Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes.
“So, does this mean that you’re not going to be all depressed for our wedding?” Anya asked anxiously, having been uncharacteristically quiet all this time.
“As long as I don’t catch them…” Xander’s eyes widened in horror. “I’m not going to catch you at anything, right?” he demanded nervously. “’Cause that could seriously impair my denial.”
“We’ll try to keep it confined,” Buffy assured him.
“Maybe you will,” Spike whispered so softly that only she could hear. She cast him an annoyed glance and stepped on his foot lightly in revenge for that smart-ass remark.
“Tara, Anya,” Buffy turned to the others present, “I want you guys to be OK with this, too.”
“Seems all right to me,” Tara shrugged, smiling slightly. “It doesn’t really seem like that big a deal to me.”
“And I’ve known for ages,” Anya waved a hand in the air dismissively.
“What?!” every other person in the room said in perfect unison.
“Ahn, what are you talking about?” Xander asked, holding her shoulders.
“You mean you honestly all didn’t know?” Anya said in surprise.
“I did,” Dawn held her hand up in the air shyly.
“You’re kidding me, right?” she was greeted by many shaking heads. “You mean you didn’t notice how they would always come back from ‘patrolling’,” she made little air quotes with her hands, “hours late, with their hair all messed up and grass stains all over their clothes—”
“Fighting monsters!” Xander insisted. “Those are all just normal side-effects of fighting monsters!”
Anya rolled her eyes. “And I suppose it was monsters that would put their shirts on backwards, and that caused them to stand just a little bit too close to each other, and made them give each other those don’t-you-wish-we-were-having-sex-right-now looks, and put that post-orgasmic bliss in their eyes?”
“B-But if you knew about this,” Xander asked, bewildered, “then why didn’t you say anything?”
“You told me it was rude to discuss other people’s orgasms,” Anya replied happily, “so I didn’t!”
“Oh boy…” Xander ran a hand through his hair, both distressed at this news and grateful for something else to think about besides the unmentionable couple across the room.
“That was very considerate of you,” Tara informed Anya.
“Thank you,” Anya was still bouncing slightly with glee at the fact that she’d restrained herself so well. “So,” she said after a moment, “is it OK to discuss Buffy’s orgasms now?”
“No!” several vehement voices announced in unison.
“Humph,” Anya bit her lower lip. “I was just wondering is all…”
“So…er, uh…yeah,” Buffy said in the awkward pause that followed. “Research?” she suggested anxiously.
Before anyone could reply, the sound of slow clapping caused them all to spin around.
“Oh, that was great,” past Spike said sarcastically. “You all ‘re better than soaps. Right good entertainment it was…although I was waitin’ for the big group hug before I made a nice snack off those wankers outside…”
“Oh!” Willow’s hand abruptly shot up in the air out of force of habit. “That’s right! We found the how-to-go-back-in-time spell!”
“So, I can eat those losers then, right?” past Spike asked hopefully.
“No eating people,” Buffy sighed. “You can do that when you get home.”
“How come he can eat people but I can’t?” her Spike teased.
“He can’t,” Buffy replied with a wry smile, “but that’s past Buffy’s problem to deal with. So,” she turned back to the group, “are we doing the spell or what?”
“A-Actually,” Tara said, “I’d like some time to look it over…”
“And I have to open early tomorrow morning,” Anya protested. “I can’t have people casting smelly spells here during store hours.”
“And Dawnie has school early, too!” Buffy suddenly exclaimed, looking at her watch.
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Out of it much?” she said sarcastically. “It’s Saturday.”
“Oh,” Buffy replied, and then a delighted little smile lit up her face. “That means I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!”
“It also means we have plenty of time to do the spell tomorrow evening,” Anya insisted. “So out! I’ve got to be rested to make lots of money tomorrow! Shoo, shoo!”
She batted at past Spike and Tara, forcing them into the main room. The rest of the group followed…and saw the one flaw in their plan.
“What do we do about them?” Tara gestured nervously at the three bound nerds.
“We could put them in back,” Anya suggested thoughtfully. “And if they try to escape,” she added proudly, “I can practice my old vengeance skills.”
“She spent the last millennium doing nasty, emasculating things to any guy she came across,” Xander informed them, “so I’d suggest not messing with her.”
“Still think it’d be easier if I just ate them…” past Spike sulked.
The property chastised Trio huddled in their chains fearfully and let themselves be locked up in the training room without complaint.
“And him?” Xander pointed to past Spike.
“’e’ll be comin’ with me,” present Spike replied.
“And I’ll go with,” Buffy announced immediately, then abruptly blushed now that everyone knew what her real intentions were.
“Cool!” Dawn said cheerfully. “Will can walk me home. Should we expect you not to show up tomorrow?”
“Er…” Buffy’s face was getting redder by the minute.
“’ll get her here after sundown tomorrow evenin’,” Spike caught Buffy by the shoulder and led her outside, giving Dawn a wink.
“Many happy orgasms!” Anya called out after them.
“Oh god…” Xander groaned in despair.
“Don’t worry,” Tara reassured him. “Buffy’s an adult. I’m sure she can handle this in a mature and responsible way…”
* * *
“Last one in bed’s a rotten egg!” Buffy stuck her tongue out at the two Spikes and raced her way back to his crypt, two vampires hot on her heels…