Things That Go Bump in the Night by Slaymesoftly

ReviewsRating: NC-17

Summary: Set several years post NFA, Buffy has moved on, is no longer in mourning for her two dead vampires. Then Dawn calls her for some help and she finds something she never expected to.

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Chapter 17

Despite Spike’s original skepticism, they did indeed make love again – albeit, a somewhat less strenuous bout with fewer screams and more grateful murmurs from whichever one was feeling particularly pleasured at the time. When they finally settled in for some well-earned rest, Buffy rested comfortably in his arms, confident that nothing she said or did was going to bring back those missing memories.

It was sad, and frequently frustrating, that he knew nothing of the many things that had brought them to where they were now; so many times she went to share a laugh with him, or, more rarely, a tender memory, only to be met with a happy but puzzled tilt of his head. But, if Buffy had to choose between having Spike in her life without any memory of what went before, or losing him shortly after he remembered her, there was no contest. She snuggled back against his body, smiling when his arm tightened around her and he murmured into the back of her neck.

A hand stroking the underside of her breast brought Buffy back to wakefulness, as did the soft kisses being spread across her shoulders. For a minute or two, she just remained still, enjoying the gentle petting and caressing; but her body soon woke up enough to send her turning around to face the smiling ghost. Spike had changed his gentle stroking from the bottom of her breast to her flank, cupping her ass and pulling her closer.

She lifted her leg over his hip and hummed happily when he slid into her with a whispered, “There’s my girl.”

Without moving her hips, Buffy began to squeeze him, using her internal muscles to knead his cock in a way that had him groaning and growling his appreciation for her talents. When he began to purr vigorously, setting up a wonderful vibration through her entire body, she almost lost her concentration. With his encouragement, she let herself go lax and allowed the vibrations to build. When he added a twitch of his cock to the end of each vibration, she could no longer remain still, rolling onto her back and wrapping both arms and legs around him.

She resumed her squeezing, her whimpers and pants telling him that she was appreciating his renewed thrusts and they soon reached a mutually satisfying climax to their efforts. If Buffy didn’t believe his whispered “I love you”, she gave no sign of it, just added her own quiet “I love you, Spike” as he collapsed on top of her.

They remained together, dozing off while still intimately connected, until Buffy squirmed and wriggled under him.

“If you don’t want to spend the rest of the day in bed, you’d best stop that wigglin’,” he growled, shifting his hips to show her why it wasn’t such a good idea.

“As tempting as that sounds, I need to get up. I have to pee.”

“Ah,” he sighed and nuzzled her neck. “Humans and their infirmities.”

“Just because you don’t have any bodily functions…”

“You just go do what you need to do, pet, and when you come back, I’ll show you my bodily functions are working just fine. All the important ones, anyway.”

He rolled off and gave her a little pinch on her ass as she stood up. Buffy turned around and, enjoying her nudity’s effect on him, stood with her hands on her hips, glaring with mock ferocity.

“I can’t believe you did that! Does the word ‘slayer’ not mean anything to you?”

“Means I’m going to pull you right back down here if you don’t get your luscious arse up those stairs,” he said, openly ogling her as his cock stiffened.

“Oh no, you don’t. You just take that extra testosterone and put it away. We have things to do today.”

She ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, giggling at the disappointed growls coming from behind her. Buffy eyed the shower wistfully, wondering how long it was going to take for a plumber to check the pipes and install the electric hot water heater that Spike had picked out. Not that they could even order anything until the money and house stuff had been sorted out.

Spike thought he could get some money from an old account without the assistance of a solicitor, explaining that he’d found a bankbook for an account at the bank in town; one that had been used just often enough over the years to not have it declared inactive. Of course, during the past several years while he’d been a ghost, trapped in the house, there’d been nothing he could do to get any money out or to remind the bank of his existence. However, Spike had found a stash of cash hidden behind a loose stone in the basement wall, and he was hoping Buffy could use the somewhat dated but probably still legal bills to purchase the smaller items he wanted.

Buffy came out of the bathroom and peered down the stairs. Catching no sign of Spike, she quickly ran down and bent over to pick up her clothes, only to find her underwear dangling in the air just out of reach.

“Very funny,” she said, jumping and snatching it out of invisible hands. “Go find the money. I’m hungry.”

“Aha,” he said, coming into sight, still nude and erect. “You’re only after my dosh. I should have known.”

“I didn’t know that you even had any money, you big doofus. Not to mention a big mansion in England. You used to steal booze and cigarettes, remember?”

“Um…no,” he reminded her with a quirked eyebrow. “I don’t remember… Remember?”

To cover her embarrassment, Buffy busied herself putting her clothes on and running her fingers through her hair. “Well, yeah, okay. You don’t remember. But I do. You never had any money.”

He shrugged, “Vamps don’t need much. And if they do want something, I imagine they just take it. Prob’ly stole stuff for the fun of it, not out of need.”

“You made us pay you for information and help!”

He grinned and pulled her into a quick embrace.

“Maybe I just wanted an excuse to be around you. You ever think about that?”

“Back then?” She shook her head, going up on her toes to give him a quick kiss. “I can guarantee you it never occurred to me – or to you either, I’m pretty sure…”

She twisted away before he could take the quick kiss anywhere time-consuming and said, “Get dressed. We might as well get as much done today as we can by ourselves.”

“I can’t go like this?”


“It’s not like I’m going to be visible to anybody, is it? It’ll be fun. Nobody will know.”

“I am NOT walking through town with a naked man! I don’t care if anybody can see you or not. I’ll know.”

“Don’t you think that’s kind of sexy? Me all naked and you being the only one who knows I’m there?”

“Been there, done that, you threw me out.”

“Huh? What? I threw you out of what?”

“Me. Invisible. Naked. Your crypt.”

“Well, I’m sure I had a good reason….you were naked?”

“I was, actually. I even…never mind.

“Oh no, There’s no never-minding here! You need to explain this, Slayer. There’s no way I threw a naked woman out of my crypt – invisible or not – and didn’t dust myself for stupidity.”

“Get dressed. I’ll tell you all about it while we’re walking.”

As Buffy turned to walk upstairs, she could hear him muttering, “This better not be a trick just to get my clothes on.”


As they walked through the sunshine, their destination the garden center at the opposite end of town, Buffy told Spike all about her adventure as an invisible girl and how Xander had come to his crypt to ask if Spike had “seen” her, interrupting them in the middle of sex. She talked about teasing him while he tried to converse with the oblivious boy, then got quiet when he asked her why he’d thrown her out.

“Because you had to go through that whole song and dance with Xander, instead of being able to say, “She’s right here. She’s fine.”

He stopped and cocked his head at her. She refused to meet his eyes, mumbling that he needed to go invisible before they got into more populated areas. He complied with her request, but put a hand on her arm, preventing her from going any farther.

“We haven’t talked much about that time, yet, love. Is there something I should know?”

“Um…You were there for me, and I treated you like crap? I think that about sums it up.”

Buffy smiled brightly and began walking.

“So, you didn’t love me while you were shagging me?”

“Can we not talk about this right now? Look! It’s a pretty day, we have money to spend, we’re on our way to buy things…it’s all good.”

“Did you love me then or not?”

Spike’s voice was not beside her and she realized that he hadn’t moved to follow her. With a sigh, she turned around and walked back to where she could just make out his outline shimmering in the sunlight. She gazed up at his barely-visible eyes.

“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I didn’t think so. You tried to tell me I did, but I…I didn’t usually take it well. I don’t think I realized what you meant to me until—“


“Another one of those things you don’t really need to know.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I was in denial, okay? Being in love with a soulless vampire just wasn’t…I just didn’t want to believe I could do it, all right? I called it ‘having feelings for you’ when I was forced to admit it. I waited until you were dying before I actually told you I loved you; and then you didn’t beli—“

“Don’t start that again. If I believed it when you were denying it, know damn good and well I would have believed you when you finally said it.”

“Do you really think so?” Her voice was so wistful and hopeful that in spite of their being in public, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair.

“I know so, Buffy. I may not remember who I was, but I’m pretty sure I was still me, and I know that I would have believed you.”

“You’re just saying that,” she mumbled into his chest; then realized what she must look like and pulled away. “I’ll bet you say that to all the girls who tell you they love you.”

His warm chuckle stirred her hair before he let go and began to walk beside her again. When they got near the bank, they paused and Buffy asked, “What should I say about this money? Do you think they’re going to want to know how an American visitor came into possession of so much cash?”

“Just tell them you inherited it. That some old dead relative willed you a box of old papers and the money was in it.” He reached into his pocket, only to find himself holding an invisible bankbook. “Bollocks! I should have given this to you before I disappeared. Guess we’ll have to do this part tomorrow.”

Buffy giggled at the barely-visible book he was holding. She took it from his hand and held it for a minute, but it remained stubbornly translucent and she gave it back with another laugh.

“I think I know what to do,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

She went into the local branch of the Council’s London bank and directly to the receptionist’s desk, explaining that she had a rather large amount of cash with her and that she wanted to use it to open an account. She presented her American drivers license, her Council ID and assured them that she could bring her passport in as soon as she had time to run back to the Council Headquarters to get it. Once they’d seen who she worked for, things went very smoothly – the Council being a rather large depositor and an important customer at this branch of the bank, as well as still having large assets in London.

On her way out, she picked up some deposit and withdrawal slips for Spike and waved a cheerful good-bye to the helpful employees. She’d explained to them that she might be doing some errands for another one of their customers from time to time, hoping to prepare them for the idea that she would be doing not only her own business, but sometimes Spike’s.


With the money she had kept back for spending in hand, Buffy and Spike took their list back to the shops they’d visited the day before, picking up a lot of small items and finding out what they would need to do in order to have other things delivered. With Spike’s assurance that there was more than enough money to cover everything, Buffy used her Council credit card to make arrangements to have the hot water heater installed within a few days. She pretended not to notice the shocked looks she got when she gave the address, simply nodding and smiling that yes, it was quite an old house and would need much work before it was suitable for a young lady by herself.

She consulted the list and ordered the small refrigerator and the microwave from Curry’s, a chain appliance store that carried many of the items they’d noted the day before. At the growl behind her back, she added the CD player and a smaller version of the TV that Spike had been admiring. Making a mental note to get him a small MP3 player and load it up with bands that she remembered him liking, she also picked out a few CDs. The TV was to be delivered with the other items, the CD player she took with her as she left the happy shop manager behind.

“Now what?” she asked when they were safely away from other ears. “I don’t think I can carry all that garden stuff back from one end of town to the other – and I can’t see me walking along with shovels and rakes floating behind me, either.”

“The bankbook disappeared when I put it in my invisible pocket,” Spike said. “Come in here; let’s see what happens if I take your package and then go invisible.”

They stepped around the corner of the building, into a narrow alley that didn’t appear to get much traffic. Spike quickly came into sight, waiting until he was as solid appearing as was possible for him in daylight, then taking the CD player box and fading out again. To their delight, the box disappeared along with Spike.

“Problem solved, Slayer,” he said happily. “You’ll pay for the stuff and I’ll carry it out – in fact…”

“No!” she said, interrupting his obvious train of thought. “We are not going to steal them. Just get that idea out of your head right now.” She glared in the general direction of his voice, tapping her foot until he responded with a grumpy, “Spoil sport.”

“I’ll carry whatever I can out of the store, and we’ll borrow Giles’ car to come back later for the rest of it.”

Muttering under his breath, he trailed behind her to the garden center, only speaking when she would hold up a tool and raise an eyebrow. In a flash of inspiration, Buffy added a large garden cart to the purchases and was able to put almost all the tools and supplies in it. Under the disbelieving eyes of the cashier, she paid for her things and then easily pulled the cart out of the center and down the side of the road.

She stopped when she recognized the street where the Brown’s Market was located, whispering to Spike that she wanted to get some more food, but he suggested she wait until the refrigerator and microwave had been delivered and installed before bringing more food into the house.

“You can eat all you want on the Council’s money,” he pointed out. “An’ I can come with you as long as we don’t sit too close to anyone who might pick up on my ghostiness.”

Buffy agreed and they hastened to get back to Council Headquarters in time for a late breakfast or early lunch. When Spike had followed Buffy into the dining hall, only to find several of the slayers throwing uncomfortable looks around the room, he touched her back and whispered in her ear, “Think I’m rocking the boat a bit too much, love. I’ll wait for you outside.”

She nodded at him, then noticed Dawn staring at her with narrowed eyes. Buffy shook her head slightly and went to fill her plate, joining her sister as soon as she had loaded up on food.

“Was he here?”

“Just for a minute. I guess some of the older slayers can sense him more than we thought they could. He’s waiting outside.”

“So, what’d you guys do last night? In very PG rated detail, of course.”

Buffy made a face and began telling Dawn about their window shopping trip and the attack on her.

“I guess they really don’t want me around,” she added. “Sending gangs of vampires after me like that.”

“Did you tell Giles yet?”

“Nope, I was hungry. We just went to buy stuff and then came straight here. I’ll see Giles before we go back to the house and fill him in, but there’s not much he can do about it.”

“Maybe not,” Dawn said, “but he knows something – and so does Willow. You need to make him tell.”

“Knows something about what?”

“I don’t know. They were just very mysterious after you left yesterday. Giles was all ‘Buffy doesn’t need to know’ and Willow was all ‘But what if…’ and then he told me it wasn’t anything and that was that.”

“Buffy doesn’t need to know?” Her voice rose until the people at several other tables turned to look at the two Summers sisters. Without another word, she finished her food and stormed out of the dining room.

“Come on,” she snarled as she passed the garden cart and its invisible guardian. “We have some watcher bashing to do.”


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