Personal Attention by Jaesha

ReviewsRating: NC-17

Summary: After Spike Giles' wife leaves him for another man he falls into despair. Will Buffy be able to save him before he destroys himself?

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Chapter 4: Fangirls and questionable offers

Tell him no.

What are you, an idiot? Say yes!

“You? You need a personal assistant?” Buffy finally asked after several minutes of just staring at him with her mouth gaping open.

Raising a scarred eyebrow, he replied, “Well, yeah. I wouldn’t be askin’ you if I didn’.”

Okay, so logically, Spike could use someone to help him with his personal life. ‘Cause obviously he wasn’t doing so well on his own if he’d let himself drink to the state of unconsciousness.


“Because I don’ have the foggiest idea of how t’ take care of the house. I mean, Dru took care of all that stuff and I never had t’ worry about bills getting paid or maintenance,” Spike told her.

Buffy fought the urge to say what she really wanted to. She could feel it rising in her throat but she swallowed it down. Just keep your mouth shut, Buffy.

“Dru was always good ‘bout keeping everything together and-”

“Wait a minute.” Don’t say it!

“Dru didn’t do jack, I did. I made sure all the bills were paid, that the pool was cleaned, that the precious almond biscuits she loved so much were always stocked in the pantry. Me! Not her.”

Way to go, moron! Now you’ve really screwed yourself, she thought after she’d finished her ranting.

He stared blankly at her with his bright blue eyes. Whatever he was thinking couldn’t be good.

“Oh,” he finally said. “So what else did you do for her?”

Uh, wait a minute. Did she just miss something because instead of going off on her, he was continuing the conversation as if her little temper tantrum hadn’t even happened?

“Well, besides keeping the house in order, I made her travel arrangements. I made sure that whatever set or hotel she was at, they had all of the products she liked. I shopped for her clothes and accessories. I helped her plan her parties and made sure all of the preparations went smoothly. You know, personal assistant stuff,” Buffy said, glancing down at her hands before returning to see his reaction.

His brow was furrowed in confusion. “I thought you traveled with her t’ the set. Why would you have t’ make sure they had all the right stuff if you were right there?”

Buffy laughed. “Actually, in the beginning, the studio provided her with a P.A. to help her on the set, but apparently, they weren’t very good at keeping her happy. So after about a year, she’d had enough of the studio-provided people and demanded that I be allowed to accompany her instead.”

“I see. Well, you could help me with all o’ that stuff too.”

He was looking at her with a hopeful expression. Somehow he must have known she would have her doubts about going to work for him and he was trying his hardest to convince her he was stable enough to be a boss.

Spike Giles was not known for his patience, even-temper, or calm personality. He was notoriously quick to anger and passionate about everything. That usually made for a volatile behavior when he was upset or excited about something. The fact that he was sitting in front of her with a steady expression and a composed tone was proof positive of his determination to have her in his employment.

What she didn’t know, still, was why. To anyone else, it might have seemed that he just needed someone to help him carry on his day to day responsibilities. To Buffy, it was quite apparent that he was holding something back from her.

“What about money?”

Ah, yes, the question du jour. She wouldn’t be able to take less than what Dru had been paying her and she was seriously convinced she should get some sort of hazard pay if she had to work for Spike. The guy was dangerous.

“How about an extra $500 a week on top o’ what Dru was paying you and a $2000 bonus if you come back t’ LA with me tonight,” he said calmly.

Someone was desperate… That was a lot of money and Buffy could feel all of her reasons for telling him no quickly fly right out the window. How could she argue with that? He was making it damn impossible for her to refuse his offer.

He seemed like he had gotten a stable footing since she’d left him at the hospital. A big part of her was still screaming with warning sirens going off in her head. He couldn’t have possibly straightened out himself in a week, but he sure was putting on a good show for her.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

She watched as his face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “But I have a couple conditions. One, I’m going to need at least a week’s vacation next year. Paid vacation. And two, I want tickets to one of your concerts. My sister’s been bugging me about it ever since I started working for Dru.”

Spike chuckled. “Why didn’ you say so earlier? I woulda given you tickets, Buffy, if you had just asked me.”

“Well, I’m asking now, so take it or leave it.”

“You drive a hard bargain there, Ms. Summers, but I think I can manage to accommodate your terms,” he said in mock seriousness.


Spike looked up to see Buffy coming down the walk with yet another suitcase as he was loading two others in the trunk of his black Lexus. How many bags did she have? He supposed he couldn’t complain though. She was practically moving in with him and she had a whole house full of stuff that she was leaving behind.

No, three bags were just fine.

“All set to go, luv?” He asked her as she handed him the last bag.

She glanced over at the house and after a moment, nodded. “Yeah, I think I got everything I need.”

“Good.” He moved over to the passenger side door and opened it for her. “In you go.”

Once they were both in the car, Spike fired up the engine and sped off towards the highway.

“Do you mind if I turned on the radio?” She gave him a questioning look before he gave her the okay.

The familiar notes of one his songs filled the car and he was tempted to shut it off.

Listen now and let me speak
I will be the dog at your feet
Come along when you call
Be the little bird in your straw and sing you a song
I'll be there to take the fall
Though you tread upon me for no reason at all

Buffy turned to him, a grim expression on her soft features. “Do you want me to change it?”

Yes, he did, but he also knew that eventually he would have to get over that hurdle and now was as good a time as any. At some point, he would need to get back on stage and sing songs that were mostly about his relationship with Dru. It didn’t matter that it hurt to sing about her. His fans still wanted to hear those songs and in the end, they were his bread and butter so it wasn’t really like he had a choice.

Shaking his head, he gave her a smile. “No, leave it if you want.”

“Okay.” Her troubled look lessened a bit but didn’t disappear.

But just when you think you've left me blind
If I'll need to, yeah I will keep you in the corner of my eye
The corner of my eye

He had written this song only six months ago for the Dingoes’ Devil Sees Red LP and at the time, Dru had been in one of her more abusive states. He knew fully well that she had been cheating on him, yet he had not only stayed with her but let her lead him around like a lovesick puppy.

What a bloody fool he was! And now where was he? Miserable and alone for the first time in five years. Well, alone at least. He had been miserable throughout his marriage to Drusilla despite how much he had loved her.

I will never leave your side
Though you call me your number one zero
you nevermind
I'll be your king, I'll be your pawn
I will build a pedestal and put you upon it, baby

Glancing over at Buffy, he saw her eyes were closed and she was nodding her head to the beat of the song. Did she know what the song was about? He figured she did since she seemed pretty concerned with if listening to it bothered him.

She was a beautiful woman, he realized out of the blue. He had never really taken the time to see her before, but now that he had a minute to gaze upon her he could really appreciate her beauty.

Her long blond hair was pulled back into a barrette, wisps that could not be contained fell against the golden skin of her face. With her soft pink mouth slightly parted, he could see her tongue dip out to moisten her lower lip as she continued to rock slightly to the music.

It was odd for him to be taking notice of her. He was around gorgeous women all the time and he’d never given them a second glance. The only woman for him had been Dru. But that was then and this was now.

He really had no interest in getting involved with Buffy or any other women at this point, but he could still look. Maybe even partake in a little sex when he was ready. But not with Buffy and certainly not if there was going to some sort of relationship attached to the deal.

Down on the street, over your night
Out of your sleep, out of your sight
if I need to, yeah if I need to
Out of your mouth, in every word
Down in your ego one thing is sure
I will keep you, I will keep you

The pain of loosing Dru was getting more numb with each passing day. It still hurt like a mother, but it was starting to finally sink in that they were over and now he was trying to deal with all of the other emotions that played out within him. Anger, mostly. He had broken all of her collectible porcelain dolls a few days ago in a fit of rage.

That had made him feel better. Damn her and her fucking dolls!

He looked down at his gas gage and silently cursed. In his rush to get out of Sunnydale, he had forgotten to gas up and now the little red line was bouncing between E and less than E.

“Hey, Buffy, I gotta stop and get some gas,” he said to her.

She popped out of her trance and glanced over at his gage. “Yeah, I guess you do. The next exit should have a gas station.”

Pulling off at the aforementioned exit, he saw a Chevron station and shot across to it. He parked next to one of the pumps and moved to get out of the car when he felt Buffy’s small hand on his arm.

“I can do it.”

“Buffy, I can pump my own gas. You’re my assistant not my slave,” he told her, brushing off her hold on him.

“Well, hey, if you want to be mobbed just so you can feel like a big boy by pumping your own gas, its fine by me.” She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, a knowing smirk on her face.

Frowning, he asked, “What do you mean?”

Her slender hand raised and she pointed a finger out the front windshield. “I think you might have a fan or two in that van in front of us.”

Following the direction of her finger, he saw a minivan full of teenaged girls all with Dingoes’ shirts on, a copy of their latest single blaring from each speaker. “Bloody hell!”

“Mmmhmm! Teen fangirls are notoriously rough with their celebrity crushes. I think you should think twice about going out into that viper pit. Is pumping your own gas really that important or do you just wanna fork over the money so I can do it for you and spare you an ugly death by molestation?”

Ohhh, her sharp tongue was getting dangerously close to turning him on. A little verbal abuse was like foreplay, in his book. If she didn’t watch it, he might start to like her too much for his own good.

“Fine, but only because I don’t really feel like getting’ my clothes ripped t’ shreds.” He grinned at her before digging in his jean’s pocket to get his wallet.

“Do you want anything to drink?” She asked, palming the money and reaching for the door.

“Red Bull, if they have it.”

“Don’t you mean sugar-free Red Bull? You are kinda hyper as it is, I don’t think we need to add any more sugar to your diet. You might start having a seizure or something.”

“Oh, you little minx!” Spike reached over the center console and tickled her side.

“Ahhh!” She screamed at him, batting his hand away. “You are evil!”

Chuckling, he sat back and gave her a patented Spike-smirk complete with tongue-behind-teeth action. “Baby, you have no idea.”

Suddenly, she wasn’t laughing anymore. Her face had completely sobered at his words and she was getting out of the car seconds later.

“Way to go, Spike,” he muttered to himself. He knew he had crossed some sort of boss-employee relationship line and it was pretty clear that it had been unwanted at her end. In the future, he would really have to curb the impulse to flirt with her and watch what he said. He had a tendency to speak before thinking about the consequences his words might bring.

He saw her walk out of the convenience store with a small bag in her hand. She moved to the pump and started putting gas into the car.

The door opened a short time later and she sat down in the seat. “We’re good to go,” she said, handing him his Red Bull, which he noticed was not sugar-free.

“Look, Buffy, I’m sorry about-”

“Its cool, Spike. Don’t worry about it.”

Damn her! She did it again! She was always cutting him off when he tried to apologize to her for being a stupid git. What was with this girl? Couldn’t she handle a simple apology?

If he was man enough to say it, she should be bloody woman enough to hear it.

“Buffy, I-”

“Don’t. I told you I’m over it. Now, if you don’t want me screaming out the window to those girls that I have you naked and tied up in the backseat, I suggest you drop it and get this bad boy in gear,” she told him, staring out the window and taking a sip of her Diet Coke.

He could think of someone else who’d look good naked and tied up in the backseat, but he kept his big mouth shut this time. With an exasperated sigh, he started the car up and pulled out of the gas station.

“You are too good at blackmail, luv. Perhaps you should consider a new career. Maybe in the mob,” he told her as they got back on the freeway.

“Oh, I’ve already worked for them,” she told him nonchalantly. “But I guess I was too good at my job and they had me blackballed.”

His gaze jerked away from the road and over at her smirking face. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“No, you’re gonna kill yourself if you don’t watch the road.”

He looked back to the road to find that he had drifted over about two lanes and was now heading straight into a semi-truck. “Fuck!” He exclaimed as he yanked the wheel over to correct his mistake.

“See. Told ya so.” And she stuck her cute little pink tongue out at him.

Oh, bloody kill me now.

A/N: The song that was included in this chapter was Audioslave’s #1 Zero. I realize James/Spike doesn’t have Chris Cornell’s drool-worthy voice, but I can imagine, right? Not that James/Spike doesn’t have a sexy set of pipes of his very own. ; - ) I wish I could write the songs myself, but hell, I’m just not that talented. ::cough-Nautibitz-cough::

I won’t make a big deal out of the inclusion of songs in this fic, but if something speaks to me, I’ll put it in or at least make mention of it. Hey, Spike, is after all, a mega rockstar in this, a little music is to be expected. ~Luv Jae


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