Personal Attention by Jaesha

ReviewsRating: NC-17

Summary: After Spike Giles' wife leaves him for another man he falls into despair. Will Buffy be able to save him before he destroys himself?

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Chapter 13: What a Shame...Such a Pity

The sun was shining brightly through the large window and Spike began to stir at the feeling of its warm rays heating his naked body. Stretching his muscles, he yawned and opened his eyes.

He hadn’t slept so good in months, possibly even years, and for the first time in forever, he felt truly rested. And yet, he was all alone.

Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair and wished Buffy had come to bed with him last night after their mind-blowing sexual encounter. There was nothing he would have loved more than to wake up with her wrapped around his body, her scent covering his sheets.

But she hadn’t. They hadn’t even really discussed it since she had made it very clear that she wanted to take things slow and he had agreed to her terms. And going slow would not include sharing a bed, at least not any time soon.

God, just thinking about her and what they’d done was making him hard as hell. His eyes closed as he leaned back on the mountain of soft pillows and pulled the sheet off of his hips. A hand trailed down his chest and grasped his hard cock in a firm grip.

He imagined it was her. Her soft fingertips swirling around the tip and spreading the warm fluid that had collected, her small hand sliding down the length of him, a finger pressing hard against the undershaft that sent him a strong jolt of pleasure.

“Buffy…” His voice was thick with unspent passion and the image of her straddling him, guiding him to her, popped into his mind, almost making him explode.

His palm was wet and warm and it didn’t take a lot of imagination to make believe it was her tight quim sliding up and down his shaft, squeezing him and pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

He remembered her smell, the sweet tangy scent of her arousal mixed with the fragrant smell of blooming jasmine. Her skin was hot and flushed as he touched her and tasted her. Fuck, what he wouldn’t give to taste her true sweetness, to bury his nose in her delicious pussy and-

“Oh, fuck me!” He cried out as he came into his hand, drops of hot seed falling onto his tightly-muscled stomach.

Just as he was starting to collect his mind, the door crashed open to find Buffy breathing hard and glancing wildly around the room.

“Spike? Are you okay? I heard-” Suddenly, her voice halted as she took in the sight of him and her eyes widened comically.

“Well, good morning t’ you too, luv,” he said, smirking at her reaction.

She blinked. “Uh, I, uh, heard you y-yelling and I…was worried.”

Spike didn’t make any move to cover himself up. It’s not like she hadn’t seen it before especially after last night when she was eye-level to it. And besides, he liked showing her just how much she affected him.

“I’m fine, as you can see.” His hand motioned to his now spent cock and took pleasure at hearing her gasp. “I don’t suppose you’d like t’ join me, hmm, pet?”

Her mouth set itself into a frown. “You told me we could take things slow, Spike.”

What the hell did that even mean? They had already touched each other, brought each other off, just how slow was she talking here?

“And we will,” Spike replied, his brow furrowed in confusion. “But what could be the harm in comin’ over here and lettin’ me touch you?”

“Because that’s too fast for me.”

Spike threw his hands up. “Christ, Buffy! If that’s too fast, then what the bleedin’ hell were we doin’ last night?”


She trailed off and Spike let out a groan of frustration before pushing himself to the edge of the bed and standing up. He wrapped the sheet around his lean hips and stalked over to her.

“I’m not real good with subtle, Buffy, so you might want t’ spell it out for me. What was last night? And if I can’t touch you, then what can I do?” He asked, his face mere inches away from hers.

“Last night, I felt bad for-”

“Stop!” He yelled, backing her up against the wall. “Don’t fuckin’ tell me that whole thing was because you felt sorry for me! I didn’t need your soddin’ pity!”

Her hands came up and pushed on his chest, effectively knocking him back a few feet. “It wasn’t pity! I felt bad for you and I did the only thing I could think of that would make you feel better, okay? You were hurting and I just wanted to help.”

“Bloody selfless act. Should give the girl a bleedin’ medal for her noble sacrifice,” he spat out, hurt that what he thought had been something special between them was nothing more than an attempt to pacify him.

“Goddamn it, Spike! That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean since I seem t’ be so dense?”

“I wanted to make you feel better. To show you that there was someone who cared about you,” she told him, her voice getting watery.

He went silent at that. Did she mean it the way it came out? Because to him, it sounded almost like an admission of her feelings for him.

“And…and I know that I’m just confusing you, but I’m not trying to play with your head. I wanted you last night. I did. But, it’s too fast for me to have a whole sexual relationship with you.”

“If we don’t have that, then what do we have?”

“Each other.”


Buffy stared down at the day’s itinerary. The band was meeting at ten for set-up and sound check, after that all they had scheduled was an hour for promotional photos for the casino before the show started at eight o’clock. Not too much to it, unfortunately.

Looking up at the sound of the door opening, she saw Spike walking towards her. Now fully dressed, he wore light blue jeans that had a rip in the knee and a faded black t-shirt with a Social Distortion logo on the front of it. His hair was damp and sitting in curls on the top of his head, the color still two-toned because he hadn’t bleached it yet.

He sat down in the armchair across from her and watched as she poured herself some more coffee.

“Do you want some?” She asked, lifting the carafe up in an offering.

“Sure, luv.”

The uncomfortable silence had returned and Buffy wished the events of the whole morning would just disappear. He was always pushing her into saying something really foolish, this morning being no exception. She knew that she should just ignore his baiting, but somehow she fell for it every time.

She poured his coffee and a generous amount of cream before stirring in four spoonfuls of sugar and handing it to him. He stared at it for a long time while he held the mug in his hand.

“You know how I like my coffee.”

Her mouth opened to say something, but she shut it when she felt the thick sarcasm that was itching to come out. “Yes,” she said carefully, purposely leaving off the part about it being her job to know.

“Is it just part of the job or is it something more?”

If she were honest with herself, she would have to say that it had never been just a job with Spike. But of course, she had spent so much time trying to deny that she felt anything for him that the truth was hard to swallow.

“Something more.”

Their eyes met and Buffy felt electrifying shivers run up and down her body. He probably had no idea the things that he made her feel. Feelings that she had never felt before him with anyone.

“Alright, then. What do I do?” He asked abruptly, setting his cup down on the table.


“What do you mean? Do what?”

He smiled. “You know, you…me…us? How do we do this?”

Shaking her head, she let out a short, muffled laugh. Why she had ever thought he’d let her drop the subject of their relationship was a mystery. She knew it would come up again, she just hadn’t been expecting it so soon.

“I guess we could start by dating,” she said.

“Dating,” he repeated slowly as if he were testing the word on his tongue. “Okay. So like dinner an’ a movie, right?”

“Yeah, that would be an acceptable date activity, I guess.”

“You do realize, though,” he began as he tilted his head. “That might be difficult t’ do when we’re stuck on a bus for the next couple o’ months.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, obviously. But there’s other stuff we can do.”

“You’re not trying t’ get out of this, are you?”

“No, Spike, I’m not.”

“That’s good because I was hoping we could have our first date today,” he told her, a hopeful expression on his face.


“Yeah, today. Thought I might show you that hats really do work and give you a walkin’ tour of the strip. Maybe get some lunch?”

She nodded, tentatively at first, then with more confidence. “Okay. Sounds good, let’s do it.


The instruments and equipment were already set up by the time Spike and Buffy showed up at the House of Blues.

Oliver watched with quiet curiosity as his best friend smiled easily and greeted everyone. He hadn’t seen Spike this happy in a long time and he had to wonder what’d happened between him and Buffy to improve his mood so much.

If he were anyone else, he would have naturally assumed that they had finally shagged. But he wasn’t anyone else and he knew Buffy wouldn’t have just jumped in the sack with Spike no matter how much sexual tension had been built up between them. She was too cautious to let herself go completely.

They were an odd pair to be sure. Almost exact opposites, but Oliver had a feeling that deep down they both wanted the same thing. It was just the obstacle of all of their baggage that they had to climb over that was making it difficult for them to realize it.

Whether Buffy knew it or not, and he seriously believed it was the latter of the two, he knew a lot about her. Dru talked about her all the time when they were together. Buffy this and Buffy that. If the girl hadn’t been so interesting, he probably would have gagged Dru to shut her up.

“Did you wake up on the right side of the bed this morning or am I going t’ have t’ slap you around today?” Spike asked as he came to stand next to Oliver.

Oliver shrugged. He knew he had been a bit of an ass the day before, but he really hadn’t intended to piss the girl off so bad. He wasn’t used to having a woman, other than Anya, around so he honestly didn’t pay any attention to what he was saying until she had gotten angry at him.

“I think I can manage to keep my foot out of my mouth today,” Oliver replied.

“That’s good, ‘cause I really didn’t feel like whippin’ your ass anyway.”

“Like you could, you bloody wanker.” Oliver smirked at him.

“You better believe it,” Spike retorted, slugging him in the shoulder.

Buffy was glaring at him and Oliver waved at her. He really didn’t need her hating him. No, that wouldn’t do. There would have to be a real effort made on his part to curb his naturally abrasive personality and make the girl like him.

Watching her saunter over, he almost wished that Spike didn’t already have a claim on her. She was a fiery little thing and that made her almost irresistible. Almost.

“Which Oliver will I be speaking to? ‘Cause I never can seem to tell which twin you are,” she said, sparks flying from her hazel-green eyes.

“The good one, I think,” he replied.

“Finally. I was beginning to wonder if I had misjudged you.”

“Nah, what you see is pretty much what you get with me,” he told her, and then at her look of disbelief, he gave her a sheepish grin. “Well, most of the time.”

She turned to Spike and asked, “So when does the sound check start?”

Spike glanced over his shoulder at the stage, then at the audio technicians. “Any minute, just waitin’ for the all clear that they’ve got everything hooked up properly.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll go talk to Anya and see if she needs me to do anything while we wait,” she said.

Oliver could see that Spike wanted to say something, but he was hesitating. He nudged Spike in the ribs and nodded to Buffy with his head. Come on, you git. Just spit it out before you miss your chance.

Spike looked over at him for guidance before turning back to her. “Can I kiss you, luv?”

Ah, no wonder he was nervous.

She didn’t look very receptive to the idea. In fact, she looked a little angry and Oliver decided he should step in before things got too ugly.

“Go on, sweets. We’re all family here and I promise I won’t peek,” he told her, covering his eyes with his hands.

“What is this? A conspiracy?” He heard her ask.

Oliver shook his head and rolled his eyes, though no one could see that. “Just kiss the bloke and put us out of our misery already.”

There was silence and contrary to his promise, Oliver did peek. It wasn’t anything over PG-13, but at least she didn’t shame him by giving Spike a peck on the cheek. That was like the Kiss of Death to any man.

“See, that wasn’t too hard,” Oliver commented once the couple had broken apart.

If he hadn’t thought Buffy was suspicious of him before, he sure did now. The look she was giving him told him she wasn’t happy that he was butting in and moreover, she had distrust in her eyes. It had always been there, he realized and he wondered why his talent for charm wasn’t working on her.

Of course, she was a smart girl…and he did have something to hide, but that was beside the point.


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